The document discusses effective strategies for resolving workplace conflicts, emphasizing the importance of understanding different conflict responses and stages. It outlines five conflict-handling modes according to the Thomas-Kilmann model: competing, collaborating, compromising, avoiding, and accommodating. Additionally, it provides preparatory steps for conflict resolution and communication skills necessary for engaging in productive discussions.

1. Resolving Workplace Conflicts
Effectively
Claudette Rowley
December 7, 2011
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Claudette Rowley
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5. Resolving Workplace Conflicts
Effectively
NONPROFIT WEBINARS
DECEMBER 7, 2011
1-2PM EST

6. Webinar Takeaways
Participants will learn
 The five typical responses to conflict.
 A step by step process for preparing to resolve
conflict.
 Communication skills for engaging in a conflict
resolution conversation.

7. The Purpose of Conflict
 To generate change; allow growth and evolution
 To surface something that’s not working
 To signal that change is trying to happen

8. Why do we resist/avoid/confront conflict?
 Brain chemistry
 Influence of past experiences
 Feels bad; feels vulnerable
 Not having the skill set
 Not feeling confident

9. Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Modes (TKI)
1. Competing
2. Collaborating
3. Compromising
4. Avoiding
5. Accommodation

10. TKI - Competing
Competing is assertive and uncooperative, a power-
oriented mode. When competing, an individual
pursues his or her own concerns at the other
person’s expense, using whatever power seems
appropriate to win his or her position. Competing
might mean standing up for your rights, defending a
position you believe is correct, or simply trying to
win.

11. TKI - Collaborating
Collaborating is both assertive and cooperative. When
collaborating, an individual attempts to work with
the other person to find a solution that fully satisfies
the concerns of both. It involves digging into an issue
to identify the underlying concerns of the two
individuals and to find an alternative that meets both
sets of concerns. Collaborating between two persons
might take the form of exploring a disagreement to
learn from each other’s insights, resolving some
condition that would otherwise have them
competing for resources, or confronting and trying to
find a creative solution to an interpersonal problem.

12. TKI - Compromising
Compromising is intermediate in both assertiveness
and cooperativeness. When compromising, an
individual has the objective of finding an expedient,
mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies
both parties. Compromising falls on middle ground
between competing and accommodating, giving up
more than competing but less than accommodating.
Likewise, it addresses an issue more directly than
avoiding but doesn’t explore it in as much as depth
as collaborating. Compromising might mean
splitting the difference, exchanging concessions, or
seeking a quick middle-ground position.

13. TKI - Avoiding
Avoiding is unassertive and uncooperative. When
avoiding, an individual does not immediately pursue
his or her own concerns or those of the other person.
He or she does not address the conflict. Avoiding
might take the form of diplomatically sidestepping
an issue, postponing an issue until a better time, or
simply withdrawing from a threatening situation.

14. TKI - Accommodating
Accommodating is unassertive and cooperative – the
opposite of competing. When accommodating, an
individual neglects his or her own concerns to satisfy
the concerns of the other person; there is an element
of self-sacrifice in this mode. Accommodating might
take the form of selfless generosity or charity,
obeying another person’s order when you would
prefer not to, or yielding to another’s point of view.

15. Needs
Whose needs are being met in a given situation?

16. Preparing to Resolve a Conflict: Self-Reflection
Preparation and self-reflection are important for two
reasons:
1. If you are emotionally distraught, it’s not a good
time to respond to a conflict.
2. “Winging it” can backfire.

17. How to Prepare: 6 Steps
4. What are your assumptions about the conflict,
yourself and the other person?
5. What are your “dignity violations?”
(a term coined by Donna Hicks, PhD in her book
Dignity: The Essential Role It Plays in Resolving
Conflict.)
6. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.

18. How to Prepare: 6 Steps
1. Understand your own conflict tendencies.
2. What’s your current perspective on the conflict?
What are other perspectives?
3. What are your emotional triggers?

19. The Bridge:
From Preparation to the Conversation
Questions to ask:
 What’s the change the conflict is trying to surface?
 What are your interests?
 What do you know about the other person’s
interests?
 What are possible approaches to handling the
conflict?

20. Having the Conversation:
Communication Skills
Have a conversation about “how to have the
conversation”:
 What would a successful resolution look like?
 What are the ground rules for the conversation?

21. Helpful Skills to Use
 Focus on interests
 Name what’s happening
 Ask open-ended questions
 Use active listening skills
 Stay as neutral as possible
 Acknowledge emotions (rather than acting on them)

22. Agreements & Options
 Give the other person an opportunity to share their
story, perspective and any “dignity violations”.
 Discover your areas of agreement.
 Clarify your differences.
 Brainstorm options: expand the options before you,
look for mutual gain, create a list of possibilities, get
creative.

23. Objective Criteria
Two questions:
 How will you know when this conflict is resolved?
 How will you know that it’s staying resolved?

24. If You’re Stuck
1. Refrain from blaming, defensiveness and criticism.
2. Name your experience.
3. Reframe the conversation toward interests or
options.
4. Take a break and reconvene at an agreed upon
time.
5. Get a neutral third party if needed.

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