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“Resolving Conflict”
Moving From Conflict To Collaboration
Facilitator
Willie Johnson
Performance
Improvement and
Training Consultant
Conflict Resolution
What concerns me is not the way
things are, but rather the way
people think things are…
Epicteus
What Is Conflict?
• Positive or Negative
Communication
• Fact Of Life
• State of being that occurrs over
a prolonged period during
which issues are not addressed
– thereby adding to dissonance.
The Challenge
“When Dealing With Conflict”
Seek win-win relationships -
Thru A Collaborative Process
All Roads Can Lead To
Conflict:
Differences in needs, Differences in perceiving
objectives and values. Motives, words, actions
Diversity and Miscommunication.
Differing expectations of Unwillingness to work
outcomes - favorable through issues,
versus unfavorable collaborate or
Personality Type compromise
Conflict Communication Skills
• Reflection (Ack. Behavior)
• I-Statements (Show Empathy)
• Diplomatic Disagreement
• Gentle Confrontation
• Firm Confrontation
Understanding - Demand For Action
Five Popular Approaches To
Conflict Resolution
• Avoid
• Force
• Accommodate
• Compromise
• Collaborate
Avoid
• Avoid - sidestepping, ignoring
or postponing.
 Avoiding Conflict Successfully
 Use when something else is more important.
 Down Side to Avoiding Conflict
 Could appear indecisive
 Matter remains temporarily unresolved
Force
• Force - making the other person do
what you want.
 How to Force Successfully
 Be clear and direct
 Down Side to Using Force
 Causes Resentment
 Lowers Morale
Accommodate
• Accommodate - meeting the other
persons needs, giving in to their desires.
 Accommodating Successfully
 Ask questions
 Accommodate graciously
 Down Side to Accommodating
Pushover
 Doormat
Compromise
• Compromise - trading something
you want for something they want,
finding the middle ground.
 Compromising Successfully
 What are you & the other person willing to give up?
 Down Side to Compromising
 Doesn’t expose underlying issues
 Principles and ethics cannot be compromised
Collaborate
• Collaboration - Reaching a mutually beneficial
agreement, and finding creative solutions that
meet everyone’s needs.
 Collaborating Successfully
 Identify and clarify issues
 Restate the problem
 Find out what each side wants
 Generate possible solutions
 Anticipate possible problems.
“6” Key Actions To Moving From
Conflict To Collaboration
• Establish mutual
involvement.
• Focus – situation, issue,
behavior - Not person
• Seek to understand the
other person’s view.
• Present you perspective
of the problem and its
impact
• Decide on an appropriate
plan of action.
• Express your appreciation
for the other person
Moving From Conflict To
Collaboration: “ Key Action #1”
Establish Mutual
Involvement.
• Briefly describe the
problem.
• State your positive
intentions
Moving From Conflict To
Collaboration: “ Key Action #2”
Seek To Understand The
Other Person’s Point Of
View.
– Ask questions to bring out
critical issues.
– Listen until you
completely understand
– Check your understanding
Moving From Conflict To
Collaboration: “ Key Action #3”
Present your perspective of
the problem and its
impact.
– Describe the problem and
it’s impact from your
perspective (be objective
& non-judgmental / ID
your feelings, desires &
needs)
Moving From Conflict To
Collaboration: “ Key Action #4”
Decide On An
Appropriate Plan Of
Action
– Agree on the issues to be
addressed
– Share responsibility for
implementing your plan
– Document agreed-upon
actions/follow-up times
Moving From Conflict To
Collaboration: “ Key Action #5”
Express Your Appreciation
For The Other Person’s
Efforts
– Thank the other person
– Summarize what you have
learned
Strategies To Avoid
• Minimization
•
• Blame
•
• Unloading
• Manipulation
Coping Strategies
Don’t waste energy with skeptics
who won’t listen.
Agree To Disagree, Agreeably
(No-Deal is form of Win-Win).
Brainstorm with others and
develop a new way of coping
with the situation.
What do you do if you still can’t
resolve your conflict?
Attitude: Your “MOST”
Priceless Possession
• Managing Yourself
– Play Your Winners
• Managing Stress
– Accentuate The Positive
• Building Support
– Network - Network
• Thinking Powerfully
– Collaboration is the
“key” to lasting
relationships
Addendum
Relationship
Building
How Do You
Maintain Positive Relationships?
• Become A Friendlier Person
• Win People To Your Way
Of Thinking
• Be A Leader
Relationship Building
(1) Become A Friendlier Person
• Don’t criticize,
condemn, or complain
• Arouse in others an
eager want.
• Be a good listener
(Seek first to
understand – then to be
understood)
• Make others feel
important. (Be sincere)
Relationship Building
(2) Win people to your way of thinking
• Show respect for others
opinions.
• Try “honestly” to see
things from other’s point
of view.
• Be sympathetic with
others ideas & desires.
• Throw down a
challenge.
Relationship Building
(3) Be A Leader
• Ask questions instead
of giving direct orders
• Praise even the
slightest improvement
• Give others a fine
reputation to live up to
• Use encouragement &
make others feel happy
about doing things you
suggest.
What ripples
out from
You?

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resolvingconflict-130131122225-phpapp02.pptx

  • 1. “Resolving Conflict” Moving From Conflict To Collaboration Facilitator Willie Johnson Performance Improvement and Training Consultant
  • 2. Conflict Resolution What concerns me is not the way things are, but rather the way people think things are… Epicteus
  • 3. What Is Conflict? • Positive or Negative Communication • Fact Of Life • State of being that occurrs over a prolonged period during which issues are not addressed – thereby adding to dissonance.
  • 4. The Challenge “When Dealing With Conflict” Seek win-win relationships - Thru A Collaborative Process
  • 5. All Roads Can Lead To Conflict: Differences in needs, Differences in perceiving objectives and values. Motives, words, actions Diversity and Miscommunication. Differing expectations of Unwillingness to work outcomes - favorable through issues, versus unfavorable collaborate or Personality Type compromise
  • 6. Conflict Communication Skills • Reflection (Ack. Behavior) • I-Statements (Show Empathy) • Diplomatic Disagreement • Gentle Confrontation • Firm Confrontation Understanding - Demand For Action
  • 7. Five Popular Approaches To Conflict Resolution • Avoid • Force • Accommodate • Compromise • Collaborate
  • 8. Avoid • Avoid - sidestepping, ignoring or postponing.  Avoiding Conflict Successfully  Use when something else is more important.  Down Side to Avoiding Conflict  Could appear indecisive  Matter remains temporarily unresolved
  • 9. Force • Force - making the other person do what you want.  How to Force Successfully  Be clear and direct  Down Side to Using Force  Causes Resentment  Lowers Morale
  • 10. Accommodate • Accommodate - meeting the other persons needs, giving in to their desires.  Accommodating Successfully  Ask questions  Accommodate graciously  Down Side to Accommodating Pushover  Doormat
  • 11. Compromise • Compromise - trading something you want for something they want, finding the middle ground.  Compromising Successfully  What are you & the other person willing to give up?  Down Side to Compromising  Doesn’t expose underlying issues  Principles and ethics cannot be compromised
  • 12. Collaborate • Collaboration - Reaching a mutually beneficial agreement, and finding creative solutions that meet everyone’s needs.  Collaborating Successfully  Identify and clarify issues  Restate the problem  Find out what each side wants  Generate possible solutions  Anticipate possible problems.
  • 13. “6” Key Actions To Moving From Conflict To Collaboration • Establish mutual involvement. • Focus – situation, issue, behavior - Not person • Seek to understand the other person’s view. • Present you perspective of the problem and its impact • Decide on an appropriate plan of action. • Express your appreciation for the other person
  • 14. Moving From Conflict To Collaboration: “ Key Action #1” Establish Mutual Involvement. • Briefly describe the problem. • State your positive intentions
  • 15. Moving From Conflict To Collaboration: “ Key Action #2” Seek To Understand The Other Person’s Point Of View. – Ask questions to bring out critical issues. – Listen until you completely understand – Check your understanding
  • 16. Moving From Conflict To Collaboration: “ Key Action #3” Present your perspective of the problem and its impact. – Describe the problem and it’s impact from your perspective (be objective & non-judgmental / ID your feelings, desires & needs)
  • 17. Moving From Conflict To Collaboration: “ Key Action #4” Decide On An Appropriate Plan Of Action – Agree on the issues to be addressed – Share responsibility for implementing your plan – Document agreed-upon actions/follow-up times
  • 18. Moving From Conflict To Collaboration: “ Key Action #5” Express Your Appreciation For The Other Person’s Efforts – Thank the other person – Summarize what you have learned
  • 19. Strategies To Avoid • Minimization • • Blame • • Unloading • Manipulation
  • 20. Coping Strategies Don’t waste energy with skeptics who won’t listen. Agree To Disagree, Agreeably (No-Deal is form of Win-Win). Brainstorm with others and develop a new way of coping with the situation. What do you do if you still can’t resolve your conflict?
  • 21. Attitude: Your “MOST” Priceless Possession • Managing Yourself – Play Your Winners • Managing Stress – Accentuate The Positive • Building Support – Network - Network • Thinking Powerfully – Collaboration is the “key” to lasting relationships
  • 23. How Do You Maintain Positive Relationships? • Become A Friendlier Person • Win People To Your Way Of Thinking • Be A Leader
  • 24. Relationship Building (1) Become A Friendlier Person • Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain • Arouse in others an eager want. • Be a good listener (Seek first to understand – then to be understood) • Make others feel important. (Be sincere)
  • 25. Relationship Building (2) Win people to your way of thinking • Show respect for others opinions. • Try “honestly” to see things from other’s point of view. • Be sympathetic with others ideas & desires. • Throw down a challenge.
  • 26. Relationship Building (3) Be A Leader • Ask questions instead of giving direct orders • Praise even the slightest improvement • Give others a fine reputation to live up to • Use encouragement & make others feel happy about doing things you suggest.