Would you like to transform conflicts into conversations? Are you looking for new ways to settle disagreements in your workplace? Do you want to your employees to resolve their own conflicts? Mediation allows people to arrive at creative, win-win solutions based on what’s important to them. In this webinar, we’ll explore general mediation concepts and how you can productively apply them in your workplace. Whether you manage people or programs (or both), you’ll have the opportunity to apply a “mediator’s mindset” to the conflicts you currently face and recognize new possibilities for skill development, growth and change.

1. Mediation Skills for Managers
Claudette Rowley
May 23, 2012
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5. Mediation Skills for Managers
PRESENTED BY CLAUDETTE ROWLEY
FOR NONPROFIT WEBINARS
MAY 23, 2012
1-2PM ET

6. Key Take Aways
 Learn the premise and principles of mediation, and
their application in the workplace.
 Understand the basic skills mediators use to resolve
conflict.
 Recognize how you can use these skills to manage
conflict between employees or on teams.

7. Definition of Mediation
Mediation is often described as “assisted negotiation”.
In this process,
 a neutral third party works with the people in
conflict
 to identify their interests and goals
 and to develop options for creative, win-win
solutions based on what’s important to them.

8. Five Principles of Mediation
1. Confidentiality
2. Impartiality
3. Informed consent
4. Self-determination
5. Voluntary

9. Confidentiality
A mediator makes a commitment to the parties and to
the profession to keep the identities of the parties
and the content of their discussions private.

10. Impartiality (or Neutrality)
A mediator will strive to conduct a process that is
viewed as fair by all parties. A mediator will also
work to treat all parties equally and without bias.
Impartiality is also referred to as neutrality.

11. Informed Consent
Mediators will work to make sure parties are informed
about the mediation process before they begin and
have access to information and advice before giving
their consent to any final agreement.

12. Self-Determination
In mediation, it is the parties, and not the mediator,
who determines the outcome of their dispute. This
“ownership of the outcome” has a direct effect on the
high compliance rate of mediated agreements.

13. Voluntary
Each party needs to make an affirmative commitment
to participate in mediation in good faith. This
commitment does not prevent either side from
withdrawing from the process for any reason once
the process begins.

14. If You’re Not a Mediator, Why Do These Principles Matter?
Confidentiality – if people know they are speaking in
confidence, they feel freer to be open and honest
about their thoughts and feelings.
Informed Consent – In a business or personal setting,
make sure that the people in conflict understand the
process of resolving the conflict. If certain
procedures or policies are going to be followed, make
sure people understand the impact.

15. If You’re Not a Mediator, Why Do These Principles Matter?
Self-determination – when people in conflict
determine the resolution of their conflict, they are
more likely to stick with their plan and see it through
to fruition.
Voluntary – If people decide it’s in their best interest
to try to resolve a conflict, they are more likely to
invest in the process and put their best problem -
solving into it.

16. What’s It Like to Be Neutral?
To maintain neutrality, what are you doing?
 Treating people without bias
 Really listening
 Remaining non-judgmental
 Conducting a process that’s fair

17. What’s It Like to Be Neutral?
What are you not doing?
 Not judging
 Not taking sides
 Not sharing opinions
 Not pushing for decision or closure

18. Self-Management
 Watch and understand your emotional triggers
 Compartmentalize
 Be aware of assumptions or judgments

19. Foundational Mediation Skills
 Separate people from  Listen for interests
problem (from Getting
to Yes by Fisher & Ury)  Listen for options
 Active listening
 Identify measurable
standards
 Ask open-ended
questions
 Reflect back what you
hear

20. Skill: Separate People from the Problem
View people as separate from their conflicts. It’s easier
to be neutral and fair.
(From the book Getting to Yes by Fisher & Ury)

21. Skill: Active Listening
 Focus on other person.
 Show you’re listening through body language and eye
contact.
 Take notes if appropriate (tell people how notes will
be used and who will see them).
 Listening for what’s important, identify needs and
priorities.

22. Skill: Open-ended Questions
 Ask questions beginning with “What”, “How” and
“Why”
Examples:
 What do you need?
 What do you want?
 How can you move forward?
 How can you resolve this?
 Why is this important to you?

23. Skill: Reflect back what you hear
 Once you’ve listened and asked open-ended
questions, it’s important to reflect back what you’ve
heard.
 Examples: You can reflect back their needs and
interests , the emotional impact of the situation, or
solutions they’ve initially identified.
 The purpose: To make sure the speaker feels heard
and acknowledged.

24. The Listening Triangle
Is a form of “interactive listening”.
1. Ask an open-ended question
2. Listen
3. Reflect back (through paraphrasing or reframing)
(The Listening Triangle was developed by Moshe Cohen of The Negotiating Table)

25. Skill: Listen for Interests
 Interests are needs or desires that are critically
important to someone.
 People are not always fully aware of what they want
or what is most important to them.
 Interests can be concrete: money, a job or a piece of
furniture (for example)
 Interests can be emotional: the desire for fairness, an
apology, respect, appreciation, dignity, to be
heard/understood, to know why something
happened.

26. Skill: Listen for Options
Options are possible solutions to the conflict.
 As people feel heard, they often begin to identify
solutions.
 Help people broaden their options; people will often
settle for what’s in front of them.
 Listen and reflect back options you’re hearing.
 Ask open-ended questions to draw out more options
(if needed).

27. Skill: Identify Measurable Standards
This means identifying and agreeing upon external
standards against which to measure a resolution.
 Why do this? Because it’s easier to focus on fairness
versus getting locked in a battle of wills.
 Examples include: industry standards, company
policies, law, precedents, expert opinions, monetary
value, etc.

28. Managing Conflict Between Employees or on Teams
1. Facilitated dialogue
2. Helping others prepare
3. Active listening and reflecting
4. If you get stuck …
5. Stay neutral
6. Document the resolution

29. Facilitated Dialogue
Is the process of facilitating a conversation between
two or more people.
 You (or someone else) serves as a facilitator who
manages the process and uses the skills we’ve
discussed.
 Your job is to remain neutral and unbiased.
 This method is about creating a safer, structured
space for the conversation, and to help people
communicate interests, identify and reach a solution.

30. Helping People Prepare
Walk people through a reflection process in
preparation for having a challenging conversation.
1. Understand and discharge emotions.
2. Assess assumptions.
3. Put self in other’s shoes.
4. Be clear about own interests.

31. Active Listening and Reflecting
Is a useful skill in almost all conversations. It helps
identify what’s important to all participants.
 Find places of agreement and name them.
 Understand where the disagreements are and name
them.

32. If You Get Stuck…
Ask an open-ended question.
Examples:
What do you need?
What would help you resolve this?
What are your ideas?
What would it take for this relationship to be repaired?

33. Stay Neutral
When helping to resolve a conflict between employees.
By remaining neutral and objective, you put the onus
on others to take responsibility for resolving their
conflict.

34. Document the Solution
Essential elements:
 We have agreed to X.
 X will be completed by this date.
 If X is not completed by this date, the contingency
plan is Y.
Have the conversation: “What will happen if you don’t
implement this solution?”

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