Mediation Skills for Managers


                 Claudette Rowley

                     May 23, 2012



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INTEGRATED PLANNING
            Advising nonprofits in:        www.synthesispartnership.com
            • Strategy
            • Planning                                    (617) 969-1881
            • Organizational Development   info@synthesispartnership.com


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Affordable collaborative data
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Today’s Speaker




                                     Claudette Rowley
                                    Coach, Consultant, Author
                                 Metavoice Coaching & Consulting                           Hosting:
Assisting with chat questions:
April Hunt, Nonprofit Webinars                                     Sam Frank, Synthesis Partnership

A Service
   Of:                                                  Sponsored by:
Mediation Skills for Managers

    PRESENTED BY CLAUDETTE ROWLEY
       FOR NONPROFIT WEBINARS
             MAY 23, 2012
               1-2PM ET
Key Take Aways

 Learn the premise and principles of mediation, and
 their application in the workplace.

 Understand the basic skills mediators use to resolve
 conflict.

 Recognize how you can use these skills to manage
 conflict between employees or on teams.
Definition of Mediation

Mediation is often described as “assisted negotiation”.

In this process,
 a neutral third party works with the people in
  conflict

 to identify their interests and goals


 and to develop options for creative, win-win
 solutions based on what’s important to them.
Five Principles of Mediation

1. Confidentiality

2. Impartiality

3. Informed consent

4. Self-determination

5. Voluntary
Confidentiality

A mediator makes a commitment to the parties and to
  the profession to keep the identities of the parties
  and the content of their discussions private.
Impartiality (or Neutrality)

A mediator will strive to conduct a process that is
  viewed as fair by all parties. A mediator will also
  work to treat all parties equally and without bias.

Impartiality is also referred to as neutrality.
Informed Consent

Mediators will work to make sure parties are informed
 about the mediation process before they begin and
 have access to information and advice before giving
 their consent to any final agreement.
Self-Determination

In mediation, it is the parties, and not the mediator,
  who determines the outcome of their dispute. This
  “ownership of the outcome” has a direct effect on the
  high compliance rate of mediated agreements.
Voluntary

Each party needs to make an affirmative commitment
 to participate in mediation in good faith. This
 commitment does not prevent either side from
 withdrawing from the process for any reason once
 the process begins.
If You’re Not a Mediator, Why Do These Principles Matter?


Confidentiality – if people know they are speaking in
 confidence, they feel freer to be open and honest
 about their thoughts and feelings.

Informed Consent – In a business or personal setting,
  make sure that the people in conflict understand the
  process of resolving the conflict. If certain
  procedures or policies are going to be followed, make
  sure people understand the impact.
If You’re Not a Mediator, Why Do These Principles Matter?


Self-determination – when people in conflict
 determine the resolution of their conflict, they are
 more likely to stick with their plan and see it through
 to fruition.

Voluntary – If people decide it’s in their best interest
 to try to resolve a conflict, they are more likely to
 invest in the process and put their best problem -
 solving into it.
What’s It Like to Be Neutral?

To maintain neutrality, what are you doing?

 Treating people without bias
 Really listening
 Remaining non-judgmental
 Conducting a process that’s fair
What’s It Like to Be Neutral?

What are you not doing?

 Not judging
 Not taking sides
 Not sharing opinions
 Not pushing for decision or closure
Self-Management

 Watch and understand your emotional triggers


 Compartmentalize


 Be aware of assumptions or judgments
Foundational Mediation Skills

 Separate people from       Listen for interests
  problem (from Getting
  to Yes by Fisher & Ury)    Listen for options

 Active listening
                             Identify measurable
                              standards
 Ask open-ended
  questions

 Reflect back what you
  hear
Skill: Separate People from the Problem

View people as separate from their conflicts. It’s easier
  to be neutral and fair.
(From the book Getting to Yes by Fisher & Ury)
Skill: Active Listening

 Focus on other person.
 Show you’re listening through body language and eye
  contact.
 Take notes if appropriate (tell people how notes will
  be used and who will see them).
 Listening for what’s important, identify needs and
  priorities.
Skill: Open-ended Questions

 Ask questions beginning with “What”, “How” and
 “Why”

Examples:
 What do you need?
 What do you want?
 How can you move forward?
 How can you resolve this?
 Why is this important to you?
Skill: Reflect back what you hear

 Once you’ve listened and asked open-ended
 questions, it’s important to reflect back what you’ve
 heard.

 Examples: You can reflect back their needs and
 interests , the emotional impact of the situation, or
 solutions they’ve initially identified.

 The purpose: To make sure the speaker feels heard
 and acknowledged.
The Listening Triangle

Is a form of “interactive listening”.

1. Ask an open-ended question
2. Listen
3. Reflect back (through paraphrasing or reframing)




(The Listening Triangle was developed by Moshe Cohen of The Negotiating Table)
Skill: Listen for Interests

 Interests are needs or desires that are critically
  important to someone.
 People are not always fully aware of what they want
  or what is most important to them.
 Interests can be concrete: money, a job or a piece of
  furniture (for example)
 Interests can be emotional: the desire for fairness, an
  apology, respect, appreciation, dignity, to be
  heard/understood, to know why something
  happened.
Skill: Listen for Options

Options are possible solutions to the conflict.

 As people feel heard, they often begin to identify
  solutions.
 Help people broaden their options; people will often
  settle for what’s in front of them.
 Listen and reflect back options you’re hearing.
 Ask open-ended questions to draw out more options
  (if needed).
Skill: Identify Measurable Standards

This means identifying and agreeing upon external
 standards against which to measure a resolution.

 Why do this? Because it’s easier to focus on fairness
 versus getting locked in a battle of wills.

 Examples include: industry standards, company
 policies, law, precedents, expert opinions, monetary
 value, etc.
Managing Conflict Between Employees or on Teams



1. Facilitated dialogue
2. Helping others prepare
3. Active listening and reflecting
4. If you get stuck …
5. Stay neutral
6. Document the resolution
Facilitated Dialogue

Is the process of facilitating a conversation between
  two or more people.

 You (or someone else) serves as a facilitator who
  manages the process and uses the skills we’ve
  discussed.
 Your job is to remain neutral and unbiased.
 This method is about creating a safer, structured
  space for the conversation, and to help people
  communicate interests, identify and reach a solution.
Helping People Prepare

Walk people through a reflection process in
 preparation for having a challenging conversation.

1. Understand and discharge emotions.
2. Assess assumptions.
3. Put self in other’s shoes.
4. Be clear about own interests.
Active Listening and Reflecting

Is a useful skill in almost all conversations. It helps
  identify what’s important to all participants.

 Find places of agreement and name them.
 Understand where the disagreements are and name
 them.
If You Get Stuck…

Ask an open-ended question.

Examples:
What do you need?
What would help you resolve this?
What are your ideas?
What would it take for this relationship to be repaired?
Stay Neutral

When helping to resolve a conflict between employees.

By remaining neutral and objective, you put the onus
 on others to take responsibility for resolving their
 conflict.
Document the Solution

Essential elements:

 We have agreed to X.
 X will be completed by this date.
 If X is not completed by this date, the contingency
 plan is Y.

Have the conversation: “What will happen if you don’t
 implement this solution?”
Find listings for our current season
          of webinars and register at:

            NonprofitWebinars.com


A Service
   Of:                     Sponsored by:

Mediation Skills for Managers

  • 1.
    Mediation Skills forManagers Claudette Rowley May 23, 2012 A Service Of: Sponsored by:
  • 2.
    INTEGRATED PLANNING Advising nonprofits in: www.synthesispartnership.com • Strategy • Planning (617) 969-1881 • Organizational Development info@synthesispartnership.com A Service Of: Sponsored by:
  • 3.
    Affordable collaborative data management in the cloud. A Service Of: Sponsored by:
  • 4.
    Today’s Speaker Claudette Rowley Coach, Consultant, Author Metavoice Coaching & Consulting Hosting: Assisting with chat questions: April Hunt, Nonprofit Webinars Sam Frank, Synthesis Partnership A Service Of: Sponsored by:
  • 5.
    Mediation Skills forManagers PRESENTED BY CLAUDETTE ROWLEY FOR NONPROFIT WEBINARS MAY 23, 2012 1-2PM ET
  • 6.
    Key Take Aways Learn the premise and principles of mediation, and their application in the workplace.  Understand the basic skills mediators use to resolve conflict.  Recognize how you can use these skills to manage conflict between employees or on teams.
  • 7.
    Definition of Mediation Mediationis often described as “assisted negotiation”. In this process,  a neutral third party works with the people in conflict  to identify their interests and goals  and to develop options for creative, win-win solutions based on what’s important to them.
  • 8.
    Five Principles ofMediation 1. Confidentiality 2. Impartiality 3. Informed consent 4. Self-determination 5. Voluntary
  • 9.
    Confidentiality A mediator makesa commitment to the parties and to the profession to keep the identities of the parties and the content of their discussions private.
  • 10.
    Impartiality (or Neutrality) Amediator will strive to conduct a process that is viewed as fair by all parties. A mediator will also work to treat all parties equally and without bias. Impartiality is also referred to as neutrality.
  • 11.
    Informed Consent Mediators willwork to make sure parties are informed about the mediation process before they begin and have access to information and advice before giving their consent to any final agreement.
  • 12.
    Self-Determination In mediation, itis the parties, and not the mediator, who determines the outcome of their dispute. This “ownership of the outcome” has a direct effect on the high compliance rate of mediated agreements.
  • 13.
    Voluntary Each party needsto make an affirmative commitment to participate in mediation in good faith. This commitment does not prevent either side from withdrawing from the process for any reason once the process begins.
  • 14.
    If You’re Nota Mediator, Why Do These Principles Matter? Confidentiality – if people know they are speaking in confidence, they feel freer to be open and honest about their thoughts and feelings. Informed Consent – In a business or personal setting, make sure that the people in conflict understand the process of resolving the conflict. If certain procedures or policies are going to be followed, make sure people understand the impact.
  • 15.
    If You’re Nota Mediator, Why Do These Principles Matter? Self-determination – when people in conflict determine the resolution of their conflict, they are more likely to stick with their plan and see it through to fruition. Voluntary – If people decide it’s in their best interest to try to resolve a conflict, they are more likely to invest in the process and put their best problem - solving into it.
  • 16.
    What’s It Liketo Be Neutral? To maintain neutrality, what are you doing?  Treating people without bias  Really listening  Remaining non-judgmental  Conducting a process that’s fair
  • 17.
    What’s It Liketo Be Neutral? What are you not doing?  Not judging  Not taking sides  Not sharing opinions  Not pushing for decision or closure
  • 18.
    Self-Management  Watch andunderstand your emotional triggers  Compartmentalize  Be aware of assumptions or judgments
  • 19.
    Foundational Mediation Skills Separate people from  Listen for interests problem (from Getting to Yes by Fisher & Ury)  Listen for options  Active listening  Identify measurable standards  Ask open-ended questions  Reflect back what you hear
  • 20.
    Skill: Separate Peoplefrom the Problem View people as separate from their conflicts. It’s easier to be neutral and fair. (From the book Getting to Yes by Fisher & Ury)
  • 21.
    Skill: Active Listening Focus on other person.  Show you’re listening through body language and eye contact.  Take notes if appropriate (tell people how notes will be used and who will see them).  Listening for what’s important, identify needs and priorities.
  • 22.
    Skill: Open-ended Questions Ask questions beginning with “What”, “How” and “Why” Examples:  What do you need?  What do you want?  How can you move forward?  How can you resolve this?  Why is this important to you?
  • 23.
    Skill: Reflect backwhat you hear  Once you’ve listened and asked open-ended questions, it’s important to reflect back what you’ve heard.  Examples: You can reflect back their needs and interests , the emotional impact of the situation, or solutions they’ve initially identified.  The purpose: To make sure the speaker feels heard and acknowledged.
  • 24.
    The Listening Triangle Isa form of “interactive listening”. 1. Ask an open-ended question 2. Listen 3. Reflect back (through paraphrasing or reframing) (The Listening Triangle was developed by Moshe Cohen of The Negotiating Table)
  • 25.
    Skill: Listen forInterests  Interests are needs or desires that are critically important to someone.  People are not always fully aware of what they want or what is most important to them.  Interests can be concrete: money, a job or a piece of furniture (for example)  Interests can be emotional: the desire for fairness, an apology, respect, appreciation, dignity, to be heard/understood, to know why something happened.
  • 26.
    Skill: Listen forOptions Options are possible solutions to the conflict.  As people feel heard, they often begin to identify solutions.  Help people broaden their options; people will often settle for what’s in front of them.  Listen and reflect back options you’re hearing.  Ask open-ended questions to draw out more options (if needed).
  • 27.
    Skill: Identify MeasurableStandards This means identifying and agreeing upon external standards against which to measure a resolution.  Why do this? Because it’s easier to focus on fairness versus getting locked in a battle of wills.  Examples include: industry standards, company policies, law, precedents, expert opinions, monetary value, etc.
  • 28.
    Managing Conflict BetweenEmployees or on Teams 1. Facilitated dialogue 2. Helping others prepare 3. Active listening and reflecting 4. If you get stuck … 5. Stay neutral 6. Document the resolution
  • 29.
    Facilitated Dialogue Is theprocess of facilitating a conversation between two or more people.  You (or someone else) serves as a facilitator who manages the process and uses the skills we’ve discussed.  Your job is to remain neutral and unbiased.  This method is about creating a safer, structured space for the conversation, and to help people communicate interests, identify and reach a solution.
  • 30.
    Helping People Prepare Walkpeople through a reflection process in preparation for having a challenging conversation. 1. Understand and discharge emotions. 2. Assess assumptions. 3. Put self in other’s shoes. 4. Be clear about own interests.
  • 31.
    Active Listening andReflecting Is a useful skill in almost all conversations. It helps identify what’s important to all participants.  Find places of agreement and name them.  Understand where the disagreements are and name them.
  • 32.
    If You GetStuck… Ask an open-ended question. Examples: What do you need? What would help you resolve this? What are your ideas? What would it take for this relationship to be repaired?
  • 33.
    Stay Neutral When helpingto resolve a conflict between employees. By remaining neutral and objective, you put the onus on others to take responsibility for resolving their conflict.
  • 34.
    Document the Solution Essentialelements:  We have agreed to X.  X will be completed by this date.  If X is not completed by this date, the contingency plan is Y. Have the conversation: “What will happen if you don’t implement this solution?”
  • 35.
    Find listings forour current season of webinars and register at: NonprofitWebinars.com A Service Of: Sponsored by: