The document outlines five styles of conflict resolution based on two factors: focus on personal agenda and focus on relationships. These styles include competing, accommodating, avoiding, collaborating, and compromising, each with its own strengths and weaknesses. The key message is that mastering all styles helps in effectively managing conflicts and achieving better outcomes.

1. Introduction to Conflict StylesCopyright 2011 Riverhouse ePresswww.ConflictStyleMatters.com

2. Two factors strongly shape our choice of conflict style: How hard do we push for the things we want , our agenda?and…

3. How much attention do we give to the relationship?

4. Relationshipand own AgendaWhen we put the two factors together, we get five different styles of responding to conflict. Each has: a special focus

5. a unique set of strengths and weaknesses. We’re doing it my way...Let’s just get the job done. (and worry about the relationship later...)High focus on own agendaDIRECTINGFocus on own agenda: HighFocus on relationship: Low I win/you lose.How?Assert, control, compete.Insist, demand, defeat.Low focus on relationship

6. High focus on relationshipHARMONIZINGSure, I’m flexible .Whatever you’re happywith is fine with me....Focus on own agenda: LowFocus on relationship: High I lose/you win.How? Agree, go along, give in, affirm.Low focus on own agenda

7. Low focus on relationshipAVOIDINGLet me out of here…! I don’t want to talk about it…Conflict? What conflict?Focus on own agenda: LowFocus on relationship: LowI lose/you lose.How? Withdraw, remain silent, walk away,postpone discussion, delay responding.Low focus on own agenda

8. High focus on own agendaLet’s talk this through…My preference is…..And I want to hear and understand yours…..COOPERATINGFocus on own agenda: HighFocus on relationship: High I win/you win.How? Dialogue.Agree to talk things through.Assert self and support the other.High focus on relationship

9. If we each back off and accept half of what we want, we can get an agreement and move on…COMPROMISINGFocus on own agenda: MediumFocus on relationship: MediumWe both win some/We both lose some.How?Bargain, strike a deal, find a little something for everyone.

10. When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything you see is a nail.Mark TwainEach style is a valuable tool, essential for particular situations all of us face. We handle conflict better when we are equally skilled in all five styles. Then we can choose the response most likely to bring a good outcome.Learn the strengths and weaknesses of each style. Grow by experimenting with greater use of styles you use least.www.ConflictStyleMatters.com