This document provides guidance on conflict resolution and social health skills. It discusses three main skills: thinking win-win to find compromises; seeking first to understand others and then be understood; and synergizing to find solutions that work for all parties. It also covers defining problems, brainstorming solutions, and reflecting on conflicts to improve future interactions. Specific tips are offered for handling disagreements with parents and dealing with bullying or abusive relationships.

1. S
Conflict Resolution
Social Health

2. Skill #1
S Think Win-Win
S If you care about what they want, you’ll get a lot more of
what you want
S COMPROMISE!
What’s a Win for you? What’s a win for them?

3. Skill #2
S Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
S Listen first, then talk
S Our tendency: talk first, then pretend to listen
S Act like a mirror
S It reflects
S It doesn’t argue back
S Repeat in your own words what the other
person is saying and feeling
S “So, you’re saying that…”
S “You feel _______ about ________.”

4. Skill #3
S Synergize
S Talk it through
S Try to find a solution
that works for both
of you

5. Synergize Action Plan
1. Define the problem or opportunity
2. Seek first to understand the ideas of
others
3. Seek to be understood by sharing your
ideas
4. Brainstorm: Create new options and ideas
5. Find the best solution

6. Let’s Practice
S You want to go out on Saturday night with your
friends, but your parents want you to stay home
with the family because you have been out the
last 3 weekends in a row, and your grandparents
are there from out of town to visit.

7. Disarming the other person
S DROP YOUR SWORD!
S Apologize
S Bite your tongue
S Seek first to understand by repeating in your
own words what they are saying and feeling

8. Two Classic Blunders
S Getting in the last word
S Sometimes its best to leave the situation for a little bit and
return once you have your emotions in check
S “I hate you”
S Can’t take it back
S Most of the time you regret saying it afterwards, but you
never regret NOT saying it

9. Conflict Resolution at School
S Bullying:
S STOP IT on the spot! It starts with YOU
S Intervene immediately. It is ok to get another adult to help
S Be more than a bystander
S Don’t give bullying an audience
S Help them get away
S Tell a trusted adult
S Be their friend
S Set a good example

12. Conflict Management Steps
1. Understand 3. Act
2. Negotiate 4. Reflect

13. Understand
S Understand the problems
or needs that caused the
conflict
S See the two sides or
viewpoints
S See the whole problem
and how their behavior
contributed to it
S Think of possible
consequences if the
conflict continues

14. Negotiate
S Win-win solution
S As soon as one party is “winning”, both are loosing.

16. Reflect
What did I learn from this situation?
Could I have handled it in a better way?
What would I do differently next time?

18. So what should I do???
S GET OUT OF THE ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP!
S Do:
S Seek outside help: parents, trusted adults,
administration, etc.
S Don’t:
S Go to break up with them alone
S Meet them in a private place
S Underestimate what they are capable of
S Continue to think, “They will change”