Conflict Resolution
Tools for getting what you
want from people you don’t
like but have to work with
         anyway….

            Sage Strategies
          www.sage4change.com
Conflict Resolution
  Tools for resolving broken
promises, violated expectations
and bad behavior — by clients,
   colleagues and employees

              Sage Strategies
            www.sage4change.com
Tonight we will cover…
3 identifiers of conversations going bad
4 questions to ask yourself in the heat
5 step strategy for conversation prep
Tips and tricks for defusing hot topics
strategies for managing conflict and
steering situations toward mutually
beneficial outcomes.
Real Life

Who had a conflict today?
Any that you can talk about?
How did you handle it?
What would you do differently?
Paper Hat
 Take a beautiful paper sample…
 Fold it in half
 Fold it lengthwise in half
 Bring the upper left corner towards you and
 fold that
 Fold it in half once more
 Rip the upper right hand corner off
 What do you have?
Communication includes


People – participants
Agenda – timing and needs
Activity – speaking/listening
Understanding - conveyance
People


    You        Me



          Us
Success


    You        Me



          Us
Agenda?
 Start with your outcome in mind
 State your agenda
 Stay on track
 Brainstorm for outcome
 Plan next steps
Action
 The content and conversation goes here
Action         Preparation
1.   What is the desired outcome?
2.   Are you fully present?
3.   Are your emotions in check?
4.   What information do they need?
5.   What might get in the way?
Are you listening?
Listening looks like…?

Clear your mind and stay present
Mouth closed
Looking for non verbal clues
What is not being said?
Asking clarifying questions
Conveyance

Words (verbal) – 7% is what is being said
Vocal (Tone) – 27% is how it is being said
Non verbal (55 percent)
  Body language – what is not being said
  Eye contact – where and what are
  communicating
Control
what can you control?
 Emotions
 Triggers
 Reaction
 Listening
 Thoughts
Check for
 understanding

How does that
fit with what
you are
thinking?
3 signs
things are going badly
 Silence or avoidance
    Nothing -- return phone call no email nothing
    Talking about something else
    Leaving the room
 Violence or offensive
    Sarcasm
    Attacking
    Actual violence
 Emotional shift in you – do the self check
    Your emotions are triggered
    You’re not staying on task – talking around the issue
    Stop listening
    Bring other people into the conversation
Conversations


going BADLY
 Now what?
 WHAT DO I DO????
5 Questions
to ask yourself in the heat of the
  moment

 What do I really, really want?
 What would make them act this way?
 What am I really afraid will happen?
 What else can we do to get this done?
 What do I need to let them know that might make a
 difference?
 It’s really about managing expectations.
Tips and tricks
for defusing hot topics
 Address it
 Ask for clarification
 Ask open ended questions
 Opt out temporarily
 Get clear and enlist help
 Silence
Strategies
for managing toward mutually
  beneficial outcomes
 Create a picture of that in your mind
 Practice listening skills
 Practice assertion skills
 Practice conflict resolutions skills
 Collaborative problem solving skills
Talking Head

Blah, blah,
blah…got it?
Tonight we covered …
3 identifiable ways to know when conversations
go bad
4 questions to ask yourself in the heat of the
moment
5 step strategy for conversation prep
Tips and tricks for defusing hot topics
Learn strategies for managing conflict and
steering situations toward mutually beneficial
outcomes.
The End

Conflict Communication and Resolution

  • 1.
    Conflict Resolution Tools forgetting what you want from people you don’t like but have to work with anyway…. Sage Strategies www.sage4change.com
  • 2.
    Conflict Resolution Tools for resolving broken promises, violated expectations and bad behavior — by clients, colleagues and employees Sage Strategies www.sage4change.com
  • 3.
    Tonight we willcover… 3 identifiers of conversations going bad 4 questions to ask yourself in the heat 5 step strategy for conversation prep Tips and tricks for defusing hot topics strategies for managing conflict and steering situations toward mutually beneficial outcomes.
  • 4.
    Real Life Who hada conflict today? Any that you can talk about? How did you handle it? What would you do differently?
  • 5.
    Paper Hat Takea beautiful paper sample… Fold it in half Fold it lengthwise in half Bring the upper left corner towards you and fold that Fold it in half once more Rip the upper right hand corner off What do you have?
  • 6.
    Communication includes People –participants Agenda – timing and needs Activity – speaking/listening Understanding - conveyance
  • 7.
    People You Me Us
  • 8.
    Success You Me Us
  • 9.
    Agenda? Start withyour outcome in mind State your agenda Stay on track Brainstorm for outcome Plan next steps
  • 10.
    Action The contentand conversation goes here
  • 11.
    Action Preparation 1. What is the desired outcome? 2. Are you fully present? 3. Are your emotions in check? 4. What information do they need? 5. What might get in the way?
  • 12.
  • 13.
    Listening looks like…? Clearyour mind and stay present Mouth closed Looking for non verbal clues What is not being said? Asking clarifying questions
  • 14.
    Conveyance Words (verbal) –7% is what is being said Vocal (Tone) – 27% is how it is being said Non verbal (55 percent) Body language – what is not being said Eye contact – where and what are communicating
  • 15.
    Control what can youcontrol? Emotions Triggers Reaction Listening Thoughts
  • 16.
    Check for understanding Howdoes that fit with what you are thinking?
  • 17.
    3 signs things aregoing badly Silence or avoidance Nothing -- return phone call no email nothing Talking about something else Leaving the room Violence or offensive Sarcasm Attacking Actual violence Emotional shift in you – do the self check Your emotions are triggered You’re not staying on task – talking around the issue Stop listening Bring other people into the conversation
  • 18.
    Conversations going BADLY Nowwhat? WHAT DO I DO????
  • 19.
    5 Questions to askyourself in the heat of the moment What do I really, really want? What would make them act this way? What am I really afraid will happen? What else can we do to get this done? What do I need to let them know that might make a difference? It’s really about managing expectations.
  • 20.
    Tips and tricks fordefusing hot topics Address it Ask for clarification Ask open ended questions Opt out temporarily Get clear and enlist help Silence
  • 21.
    Strategies for managing towardmutually beneficial outcomes Create a picture of that in your mind Practice listening skills Practice assertion skills Practice conflict resolutions skills Collaborative problem solving skills
  • 22.
  • 23.
    Tonight we covered… 3 identifiable ways to know when conversations go bad 4 questions to ask yourself in the heat of the moment 5 step strategy for conversation prep Tips and tricks for defusing hot topics Learn strategies for managing conflict and steering situations toward mutually beneficial outcomes.
  • 24.