This document summarizes a presentation on conflict management. It discusses that conflict is natural and inevitable, and outlines what typically happens during a conflict such as emotions rising and communication decreasing. It also notes some benefits of conflict like problem identification and organizational growth. The document then discusses various approaches to handling conflict, including different responses like avoiding, fighting, or negotiating issues. It provides tips for managing conflict through tools like separating people from problems and focusing on interests rather than positions. The presentation emphasizes generating options for mutual gain and using objective criteria to resolve conflicts.

1. Conflict ManagementPresented by:Bill TaylorUniversity of Wyoming Cooperative Extension ServiceNortheast Area Community Development Educator

2. What are your attitudes towards conflict?Worksheet: What Are Your Attitudes on Conflict?; 8 minutesDo worksheet, then read suggested answers

3. Conflict is natural, inevitable and necessary ! Conflict creates tensionand pressurefor changeandall change createssome conflict.

4. What happens during a conflict?Emotions rise.Communication decreases and becomes more indirect (triangulation)Opponents are demonizedSides are taken; camps are formed in the organizationIssues become blurred and new issues added

5. What happens during a conflict? (cont.)Differences are magnified; similarities minimizedCompetitive processes (including rigid commitments and dirty tricks) are increasingly employedStop helping, attempt to avoid the situation

6. Benefits to Conflict Identify problems that need to be solvedBring about changeChange the way we think about thingsHelp clarify our purpose, what’s important to us or the organization.

7. Benefits to Conflict (cont.)Personal and group leadership developmentOrganizational/interpersonal growth and commitmentCreative decision makingOthers?

8. What percentage of conflict, in your experience, has resulted in a positive outcome?75-100%50-75%25-50%0-25%

9. Continuum of Approaches to ConflictNonviolent ActionAdministrativeArbitrationInactionFacilitationJudicialNegotiationMediationLegislativeViolenceIncreasing Formality & 3rd Party Influence

10. Potential responses to conflictDo nothing: Yield (and change their beliefs)Yield (and retain their beliefs)Stonewall/AvoidanceExit (flight)

11. Potential responses to conflict (cont.)Fight (exercise power):Guerrilla warfare: Looks like doing nothing, but isn'tOpen warfare

12. Potential responses to conflict (cont.)Negotiate: Contend. Try to win; defeat the other sideCompromise. Split the difference; find the middleProblem Solve. Look for new solutions which address the concerns of all parties

13. Potential responses to conflict (cont.)Seek Assisted Negotiation: Use a third party to aid in finding a mutually agreeable solution to a shared problem MediationFact finderOmbudsman

14. Potential responses to conflict (cont.)Rely on a third party decision maker SupervisorArbitrator Court

15. Social Transformation of ConflictPersonal AntagonismShift from non-personal, external disagreement to the other person being seen as the problem

16. Social Transformation of ConflictIssue Proliferation“I don’t like your horse either !”“You slighted me back in 1975?”Antagonism moves from specific to general

17. Social Transformation of ConflictTriangulationProblemTalk about, not with

18. Did you say what I heard?

19. Barriers to Communicationand AgreementPersonal discomfort

20. Overly protective or defensive emotional responses by self or others

21. Emotionalor hostile environmentTools to reduce environmental issues Move meeting to neutral & comfortable locationTurn off cell phonesModify seating arrangementsProvide alternative ways to participateOthers?

22. Tools to reduce structural factorsSimplify the messageCombine messages and show linkagesActive listeningAsk speaker to restate message in different wordsAsk open-ended questionsPut unrelated messages “in the bin”Others?

23. Emotions in Conflict SituationsWhen emotions are understood…Differences may be negotiated without becoming too personal

24. Participants may not get upset as quicklyEmotional or Hostile EnvironmentsPeople are most comfortable in the “emotional zone” they are accustomed to.Those who grew up in hostile settings tend to explode or implode.

25. Those who grew up in nurturing environments may interpret explosiveness as hostility and recoil from a hostile person

26. They may speak past each otherTools to reduce emotional factors Separate the people from the problemUse active listeningParaphrasingMirroringReframingOthers?

27. Tools to reduce social factorsAwarenessEncourage collaborative behaviorAddress stereotypes Draw silent parties outSpeak directly with decision-makerProvide neutral data sourceMake base line explicit Others?

28. Open QuestionsExamples:Probing questions: Ask for more infoClarifying: Sharpen your understanding of what has been saidJustifying: ask for evidence for the view they’ve expressedConsequential: reality testing, ask about potential solutions or look at potential consequences

29. Reframing Definition: responding to the speaker in a way that validates what they are feeling but also helps them move forward.“Her desk is a mess!” Reframed: “One issue is how neat the office should be.”“I don’t want anyone trespassing on my property.”Reframed: “Property boundaries are an issue.”

30. Other Listening ToolsParaphraseTake notes Demonstrate that you hear what they are saying

31. Hostile/abusive behavior“[H]ostile/abusive behavior [differs] from angry behavior [in that] hostile/abusive behavior is intended, consciously or unconsciously to have some or all of the following effects:Put you off balance.Manipulate and control you.Demean you in some way.Cause you to feel guilty.Intimidate you.

32. Twelve Steps for dealing with hostility Deal with feelings first.Avoid coming across as bureaucratic.Recognize that each situation is different.Strive to control the interaction.Begin defusing early.Be assertive, not aggressive or passive.If you lose control of yourself, you lose, period.What you focus on, you get more of.

33. Twelve Steps for dealing with hostility (Cont.)Don’t supply ammunition.Don’t ask questions you don’t want to hear answers to.Avoid inadvertent errors.Avoid high risk, high gain behavior.

34. Conflict resolution styles worksheet* Worksheet: Conflict Resolution Styles; 5 minutes

35. Which method do you tend to use with followers?AvoidanceAccommodatingWin/LoseCompromisingProblem Solving

36. Which method do you tend to use with peers?AvoidanceAccommodatingWin/LoseCompromisingProblem Solving

37. Which method do you tend to use with supervisors?AvoidanceAccommodatingWin/LoseCompromisingProblem Solving

38. CARPC: ControlA: AcknowledgeR: RefocusP: Problem Solve

39. Step 1: Initiating and Taking ControlFirst impressions:Eye contactPay attentionPosturePositive and friendly tone of voiceGreeting (if other party does the initiating)Keep it shortDevelop rapportGet and use their name

40. Step 2: AcknowledgeAsk what happened.Address their apparent emotions: Acknowledgement.Empathy.Collect information (use active listening).Give an apology if the facts warrant (but don’t give ammunition).

41. Step 3: Refocus the conversationThink about the language you use initiallyUse cooperative rather than competitive language (but don’t make unintended promises).Use “we” (except where it makes no sense).Use appropriate tone and word stressAvoid repeating hot words and phrases.Replace some statements (“We can’t…”) with questions (“How do you see us doing this under our existing rules?”).

42. Step 3: Refocus the Conversation (CONT.)Use verbal self-defense to re-establish control:Use surprise (in tone and content).Ask a “when” question (move speaker from the general to the specific).Use a neutral (mechanical) tone (generalize and paraphrase without comment or agreement).Engage in a topic-grab, taking something neutral the speaker says (e.g. number of children) and comment on it or ask a question.

43. Step 3: Refocus the Conversation (CONT.)Physically move to their side (dance of conflict)Now you are facing the problem togetherAct like a broken record (repeating one or two short sentences until the angry person starts to hear you).Be silent.Say “you’re right”—find something in the tirade you can agree to (but again, do not give ammunition).

44. Step 4: Problem SolveGive options.This allows subjects to feel they are in charge of their question.In “teaching you, they may teach themselves”—by letting them generate options subject to both sides’ interests and requirements, subjects gain a better perspective on why they have received a “no” so far. The subject and you may create an option that satisfies both sides.

45. Dealing with the public * Handout: Diffusing Public Anger; review; 5 minutes

46. Kinds of PowerExploitiveManipulativeCompetitiveNutritiveCollaborative

47. Which power do you use most often?ExploitiveManipulativeCompetitiveNutritiveCollaborativeExploitive

48. Which power is most often used over you?ExploitiveManipulativeCompetitiveNutritiveCollaborativeCompetitive

49. Will collaborative conflict resolution work?YesNo

50. Collaborative Processes may work if…Issues can be easily defined

51. The dispute is not over constitutional rights or societal values

52. There are enough diverse issues to provide opportunities for trade-offs

53. The parties are readily identifiableCollaborative Processes may work if… (cont.)All parties have a legitimate spokesperson

54. There is relative power balance between the parties (i.e. nobody can dictate the outcome)

55. A continuing relationship is likely

56. There is a realistic time deadline

57. Parties are motivated to negotiate issues on their meritsCollaborative Process –Who should attend?All stakeholders – be inclusiveBlockersApproversExpertsInterested public

58. Collaborative process Do’s and Don’tsDon’t react to outbursts

59. Do use only “I” statements, not “you” statements

60. Do use symbolic gestures to show your sincerity – hand shake, call, card, etc.

61. Do put yourself in their shoes – (What are they feeling? Why? What are their needs?)

62. Don’t deduce their intention from your fears

63. Don’t blame them for your problem

64. Do discuss each other’s perceptionsCollaborative process Do’s and Don’ts (cont.)Do look for chances to act inconsistently with their perception of you

65. Don’t reveal statements made in confidence to the facilitator – the neutral party

66. Don’t use names or derogatory personal statements

67. Do have everyone participate actively

68. Do allow each person to speak

69. Do give spokesmen authority to speak for their groups

70. Don’t put out media releases without consensusPrinciples of Effective Dispute ManagementHow to Get to “Yes”Separate the people from the problem

71. Focus on interests, not positions

72. Invent options for mutual gain

73. Insist on using objective criteriaStep 1: Separating the People from the ProblemAll conflicts involve two interests:SubstanceRelationshipRelationships are based on: Accurate perceptionsClear communicationAppropriate emotionsForward-looking, purposive outlook

74. Step 2: Focus on Interests, Not Positions Interests = party’s goalsPositions = means to accomplish interests

75. Positions“There will be no pets in this house”“He wants $100,000 for the house but I won’t pay a penny more than $95,000.”“We won’t negotiate until the protests stop.”

76. Identifying InterestsAsk “Why?”Ask “Why not?”Each side has multiple interests.Talk about interests.Acknowledge their interests are part of the issue.

77. Discuss Issues, InterestsAddress the problem before the answer.Look forward, not back.Be concrete on facts, interests, issuesBe flexible on position.Be hard on the problem – soft on people

78. Handling problem people* Handout: Handling Problem People; review; 5 minutesReferences: Coping With Difficult People by Bramson Difficult Conversations by Stone, Patton, Heen

79. Step 3: Generate a variety of optionsMore options, more likely to find a win-win solution

80. Inventing Options4 obstaclesPremature judgmentSearching for the single answerAssumption of a fixed pie“Solving their problem is their problem.”

81. Inventing Options (cont.)Separate inventing from decidingUse brainstorming to produce many ideasBefore brainstormingDefine your purposeChoose a few participants or break into small groupsChange the environmentDesign informal atmosphereChoose facilitator