If your job involves communicating with employees under difficult circumstances, you have probably encountered aggressive or uncooperative people. Handling these situations competently can help you get the results you need rather than an ugly confrontation. Join i-Sight and Timothy Dimoff for a free one-hour webinar: How to Deal with Difficult People.
During this webinar you will learn;
Aggressive versus assertive behavior
The difference between reacting and responding
Stages of aggression
De-escalating aggression
Things never to say to someone
How to speak “Peace Language”
The objective of this module is to
Identify difficult interpersonal situations
Learn how to initiate and close conversations in difficult situations
Minimize destructive conversations
Develop precise questions to conduct a skillful conversation.
Engage in open and productive conversations
The objective of this module is to
Identify difficult interpersonal situations
Learn how to initiate and close conversations in difficult situations
Minimize destructive conversations
Develop precise questions to conduct a skillful conversation.
Engage in open and productive conversations
None of us get it right all the time. Part of the human experience is dealing with upset or disappointed people. Sometimes this is because of a misunderstanding, or because we didn’t deliver quality service to our customers. Learn how to deal with difficult customers.
Dealing with difficult people is only as stressful as you allow it to be. By discovering what makes them difficult we start understanding how to deal with them
How to deal with difficult people at workplacenick_3
Delivered on 31.03.2015 at DMS, PIEAS, Islamabad, Pakistan to the class of communication skills.
One of the assignments given by Dr. Tariq Majeed to the class of MS Radiation and Medical Oncology (RMO) Session 2014-16,
Need to take control of a sales pitch, meeting, focus group or training session but can't call people out on their bad behaviour? Here are five fun strategies that sort out the texting, nodding off, chatting or endless questions without the stress!
A quick slideshow to enforce some of the basics of giving good customer service in a call center. I made a few modifications to it so I hope this one is better liked. :)
Entry Level Study Notes
Complaints are an inherent part of customer service, and this is especially true of internal customer service environment.
No matter the level of vigilance, problems will arise, and when they do, they must be greeted with quick and effective decisions and actions to ensure that business can proceed.
Learning and applying conflict-handling skills to overcome a host of obstacles and provide excellent internal customer service is a must.
I am attaching an amazon case study that will showcase the callous attitude of their customer support, lack of empathy for a customer with a problem, and absolute ignorance from the leadership team of Amazon - I mean Jeff Bezos himself and his India country head, Amit Agarwal. Of course, these guys are busy making money by cheating innocent customers - my take!
If you want to take your influencing skills to the next level, email me:
alanbarker830@btinternet.com
This set of slides summarizes my approach to influencing skills as a trainer and coach. Sources of the main ideas are given.
Whos Pushing Your Buttons? Dealing with Negative and Difficult People Colorado State Library
It’s inevitable, at some point in your week you’ll run into one of them. Those people who seem to turn a wonderful day into a dark one. You know these people; they seem to be chronically critical, belligerent, indignant, angry, or just plain rude. But it doesn’t have to be that way for you. Learning tactics for dealing with negative or difficult people will help you survive in the workplace. Part of the CSL In Session online learning series - September 19, 2012 with Jean Marie Heilig.
None of us get it right all the time. Part of the human experience is dealing with upset or disappointed people. Sometimes this is because of a misunderstanding, or because we didn’t deliver quality service to our customers. Learn how to deal with difficult customers.
Dealing with difficult people is only as stressful as you allow it to be. By discovering what makes them difficult we start understanding how to deal with them
How to deal with difficult people at workplacenick_3
Delivered on 31.03.2015 at DMS, PIEAS, Islamabad, Pakistan to the class of communication skills.
One of the assignments given by Dr. Tariq Majeed to the class of MS Radiation and Medical Oncology (RMO) Session 2014-16,
Need to take control of a sales pitch, meeting, focus group or training session but can't call people out on their bad behaviour? Here are five fun strategies that sort out the texting, nodding off, chatting or endless questions without the stress!
A quick slideshow to enforce some of the basics of giving good customer service in a call center. I made a few modifications to it so I hope this one is better liked. :)
Entry Level Study Notes
Complaints are an inherent part of customer service, and this is especially true of internal customer service environment.
No matter the level of vigilance, problems will arise, and when they do, they must be greeted with quick and effective decisions and actions to ensure that business can proceed.
Learning and applying conflict-handling skills to overcome a host of obstacles and provide excellent internal customer service is a must.
I am attaching an amazon case study that will showcase the callous attitude of their customer support, lack of empathy for a customer with a problem, and absolute ignorance from the leadership team of Amazon - I mean Jeff Bezos himself and his India country head, Amit Agarwal. Of course, these guys are busy making money by cheating innocent customers - my take!
If you want to take your influencing skills to the next level, email me:
alanbarker830@btinternet.com
This set of slides summarizes my approach to influencing skills as a trainer and coach. Sources of the main ideas are given.
Whos Pushing Your Buttons? Dealing with Negative and Difficult People Colorado State Library
It’s inevitable, at some point in your week you’ll run into one of them. Those people who seem to turn a wonderful day into a dark one. You know these people; they seem to be chronically critical, belligerent, indignant, angry, or just plain rude. But it doesn’t have to be that way for you. Learning tactics for dealing with negative or difficult people will help you survive in the workplace. Part of the CSL In Session online learning series - September 19, 2012 with Jean Marie Heilig.
Artificial Intelligence 06.2 More on Causality Bayesian NetworksAndres Mendez-Vazquez
Here, I talk more about the causality idea in order to define D-Separation and the initial algorithm for finding it. I put some extra example of the algorithm...
Hopefully, It is good enough for you...
Techniques to calm a distressed individual
Techniques to maintain a safe environment
Increased self-awareness of body language and vocal tone
How to display empathy
Techniques to avoid escalating
Assertiveness & Confidence Building with Young PeopleVanessa Rogers
This is a presentation that I put together for training peer mentors and peer educators to develop their confidence in public speaking and consultation. If you need more information please contact me @VRyouthwork www.vanessarogers.co.uk
Assertiveness & Confidence Building with Young PeopleVanessa Rogers
This is a presentation I use in a workshop to build confidence with young people volunteering as Peer Mentors and Peer Educators. If you want more information about the workshop or to ask a question about how to use the presentation please contact me @VRyouthwork www.vanessarogers.co.uk
Everybody lies sometimes. This is true. Research has shown that 60 per cent of people lie at least once in a 10-minute conversation with a stranger. But many lies are benign, constructed to preserve someone’s feelings, save face or avoid damaging a relationship. These lies are usually harmless, expected and appreciated.
Dishonesty in the workplace, however, can be dangerous. From the lies told in employment interviews to tales spun in the boardroom, workplace dishonesty can affect a company’s security, morale and bottom line. HR professionals and investigators should be skilled and trained to detect lies.
Join Timothy Dimoff, security expert and president of SACS Consulting, as he discusses workplace dishonesty and what to do about it.
Difficult people do exist at work. They come in every variety and no workplace is without them. How difficult a person is for you to deal with depends on your self-esteem, your self-confidence, and your professional courage at work. Identifying, Categorizing and making plan accordingly may help you to overcome the situation and reach to solution.
Davidson Alumni Webinar - Tough ConversationsMark S. Young
The PPT slide-deck from our Dec 1, 2015 alumni webinar facilitated by Lory Fischler, an expert on navigating critical conversations in the workplace and in our lives.
Being proactive means you have taken careful, thoughtful steps to choose the appropriate path; you're not just reacting impulsively to your environment.
How Best Practices in Triage Protocol Can Boost Compliance and Reduce RiskCase IQ
With recent announcements of increasingly stringent federal policies around record-keeping and due diligence, compliance and investigation professionals are feeling the pressure to demonstrate consistency and rigor in their case management processes.
Planning your investigation, having the right team members involved and reporting on outcomes of an investigation can all be difficult phases of the process.
However, being able to demonstrate that you are quickly, consistently and accurately triaging incidents is even more important now.
The key is to establish decision-making approaches and plan out your entire protocol before the matter comes to your attention through hotline reporting or other mechanism. This ensures structure and success as you triage, investigate, staff the investigation properly and meet the inevitable challenges of reporting and addressing the root causes of incidents.
How to Drive Efficiency and Reduce Risk with Investigative Case Management So...Case IQ
In order to avoid risk while running a successful organization, today’s leaders need to do more than react to cases of harassment, misconduct and employee fraud. They need to prevent these issues. Purpose-built case management software provides data-driven reports that help companies manage risk, spot trends and protect employees and the organization by preventing incidents, as well as fines and reputation damage.
But home-grown or dated solutions come with many challenges. For instance, managing incidents and investigations using manual methods leads to duplication of effort and information silos, resulting in inefficiency. Using these solutions also comes with security risks and inconsistent documentation, opening the company up to fines and lawsuits.
i-Sight’s powerful case management platform streamlines your investigative process and provides the data you need to analyze results, prevent incidents and protect your employees. You’ll save time and money, ensure compliance, and reduce risk, all with one tool.
Who's Lying? Using the Cognitive Interview to Assess Credibility in Workplace...Case IQ
When investigating a “he said/she said” case of sexual harassment or other alleged misconduct, are you using scientifically validated methods to interview witnesses, assess their credibility, and reach a defensible conclusion?
Over the past 15 years, scientists have found that much of the conventional wisdom on how to effectively interview witnesses and determine truthfulness is wrong. At the same time, courts have found companies liable for using scientifically unproven interviewing techniques in workplace investigations.
In this webinar you will learn about the hundreds of research studies that scientists have conducted on how to best interview witnesses and assess credibility. You will learn how to apply these scientifically validated methods to your investigations.
Join the i-Sight team and former U.S. Department of Justice attorney Michael Johnson as they discuss how to apply these scientifically validated methods to your investigations.
Protecting the Mental Wellbeing of Corporate InvestigatorsCase IQ
Vicarious trauma is a type of second-hand psychological response most often associated with first responders and front-line crisis workers. Although corporate incident investigators and HR and compliance professionals are usually not the first on the scene, they frequently find themselves listening to both victims and accused people who recount what could be the worst days of their professional lives.
There is no doubt that the case management process can be stressful and sometimes triggering for those who are managing it. The personal and organizational impacts can include compromised risk assessment and investigations, investigator burnout and absenteeism, and a less healthy workplace overall.
Join expert workplace investigator Ken McCarthy as he shares his experience with vicarious trauma and compassion fatigue resulting from his involvement in workplace investigations.
As an investigator, you don’t define your value to the organization; leadership does. What are you doing to be a better business advisor and contribute to the organization’s goals? In other words, why should the bosses listen to you?
Because misconduct doesn’t happen in a vacuum! It results from a perfect storm of factors like employee ignorance, a failure to see the larger implications, a lack of training and procedures, or a failure of internal controls. And you have a view to all of this in your cases.
This webinar outlines how you can become a better strategic advisor, how to think like a business leader, and what keeps executives awake at night. You’ll learn how case management can drive a culture of prevention, and how you can prove the bottom-line ROI of investigations.
Join Meric Bloch, Strategic Advisor at Winter Investigations as he discusses how investigators can become business advisors to the C-suite using their knowledge of case management and risk assessment.
In this webinar, you will learn:
Goals of a strategic business advisor.
-What advice does a strategic advisor give?
-What should a strategic advisor not do?
-How an investigator can become a strategic advisor.
-How stellar case management positions investigators as strategic advisors.
5 Steps to Creating an Ethical Work CultureCase IQ
You get it. Being an ethical organization matters. A lot.
But ethics isn’t just a quarterly HR campaign or a glossy conduct guide; in order to really have a bottom-line business impact, organizational ethics must function as an integral pillar of company culture over time.
So, what are the best practices to make sure your organization is regularly thinking about ethics and including it in everyday decision making? What are some creative ways to bring focus to this vital but often overlooked function? And how can you most effectively deal with and investigate an incident or a breach when it occurs?
How to Assess, Level Up, and Leverage Your Culture of ComplianceCase IQ
Compliance officers know that a strong culture of compliance is indispensable to risk management and better business performance in the modern world. So how, exactly, can you capture insights into the current state of your corporate culture, and then use that information to (1) shore up weak spots in ethics and compliance operations; and (2) leverage a strong culture of compliance for better operations across the enterprise?
Join Matt Kelly, Editor and CEO of RadicalCompliance.com, as he discusses how and why compliance leaders need to use data to improve their investigations and corporate culture.
Everything You Need to Get E&C Investigations Right (According to the DOJ)Case IQ
Internal investigations have long been a part of every ethics & compliance program and every E&C professional’s tool kit. However, the US Department of Justice has made clear that internal investigations are more important than ever.
In October 2021, Deputy Attorney General Lisa Monaco reinstituted the substance of the Yates Memo, requiring companies to turn over all information on any culpable individuals. Recent criminal enforcement actions by the DOJ have thrown new and increasing scrutiny on internal investigations. Now, CCOs and CECOs must certify compliance in any FCPA settlement.
In short, getting E&C internal investigations right has taken on a new importance.
5 Ways to Build Employee Trust for Less Turnover and Fewer IncidentsCase IQ
Over the past few months, we’ve seen employees quit in record numbers. While there are many reasons for “The Great Resignation”, a standout is employee trust. A study from Gallup suggests that only one in three employees strongly agree that they trust the leadership of their organization.
Employees want to trust the companies they work at and the people they work with. They want to feel comfortable coming to HR with their complaints and concerns. But building trust takes time, and effort. As organizations are planning their post-pandemic strategies, now is a perfect time to place an intentional emphasis on building trust.
Hybrid Workplace Harassment: Are You Protecting Your Company from Hidden Thre...Case IQ
In today’s “new world of work,” many organizations run on a hybrid model, with some employees working remotely and others in the physical office. While this set-up is convenient, it can cause unique interpersonal issues between employees.
Reduced face-to-face communication makes it harder for teams to bond, while making it easier for harassers to get away with bad behavior. To reduce harassment incidents in your hybrid workplace, you need to foster a culture of openness, willingness to learn, and compassion.
Join workplace investigation and executive management expert Kenneth McCarthy as he outlines how to address and prevent hybrid workplace harassment incidents.
Finding Value Before a Crisis: How Workplace DEI Drives Revenue and Prevents ...Case IQ
The topic of workplace diversity, equity, and inclusion is at an all-time high right now. It has been proven that there is a direct correlation between inclusive workforces, productivity, and revenue. According to the McKinsey & Company diversity report, “companies in the top-quartile for ethnic and cultural diversity on executive teams were 33% more likely to have industry-leading profitability.”
Without a strong DEI program, though, your organization could face internal harassment incidents, discrimination lawsuits, high employee churn, and a poor corporate reputation, leading to lost customers and clients.
Join inclusive marketing consultant, speaker, and author Michelle Ngome as she outlines DEI best practices that will increase your organization’s revenue, as well as prevent workplace incidents.
How Not to Get Called Out on TikTok: Improving Your Brand Through Employer/Em...Case IQ
More and more, disgruntled employees have been taking to TikTok, Twitter, and other social media sites to share videos and posts of their bad work experiences. These stories are more likely than ever to go viral, which can lead to lost business, reputational damage, employee churn, and lawsuits, just to name a few unwelcome consequences for employers.
While some people might be acting in bad faith, employees have been finding tried traditional HR channels less than satisfactory. They feel un-heard and undervalued, and they turn to the internet to tell their stories, and receive fast responses.
You can’t build a brand or accomplish your mission statement without your employees. To avoid the repercussions of viral incidents and strengthen your brand, you have to repair your employer/employee relationship and work culture—or better yet, create a healthy, ethical culture from the start.
Join employment lawyer Janette Levey as she breaks down major viral incidents including Better.com, Starbucks, and Amazon, their consequences, and what to do to avoid them.
What is Psychological Safety in the Workplace?Case IQ
Catherine Mattice discusses how workplace concepts such as incivility, harassment, and inequity are intertwined, and how organizations can address them more proactively to create psychological safety for all workers.
Misconduct or Missed Conduct? Ensuring Consistent SAR Reporting of Internal M...Case IQ
Case management is an integral component of any institution’s overall compliance program, let alone those with suspicious activity report (“SAR”) filing responsibilities. However, misconduct is often reported through multiple channels such as whistleblower complaints, HR, and even through a company’s legal department. If misconduct requires SAR filing, input from HR, and advice from legal, but comes in through possibly siloed teams, how can a company feel confident that they are accurately capturing and consistently dispositioning these cases?
The answer boils down to an often-overlooked area – case management systems.
Join financial crime compliance advisory and training specialist Michael Schidlow, as he explains best and worst practices in the field, gives tips on what case management tools should always and shouldn’t ever do, and describes how to utilize metrics from those systems to get an accurate snapshot of their company’s risk profile.
Building Effective Sexual Harassment Prevention Policies and TrainingCase IQ
There’s no place for sexual harassment in today’s workplace, and employers have a responsibility to investigate every allegation. But reacting after a complaint is made doesn’t fix a culture that allows sexual harassment to occur. A proactive approach, incorporating a strong policy, backed by training and commitment at all levels, is key to building an organizational culture that discourages sexual harassment.
Join Philip Miles, employment lawyer, McQuaide Blasko, as he outlines the steps for building policies and training plans to prevent sexual harassment in the workplace.
How to recognize and minimize unconscious bias in the workplaceCase IQ
The modern workplace should be an inclusive and welcoming environment for all employees but that isn’t always the case. In fact, systemic inequality is the norm for a vast number of workplaces throughout North America, Europe and beyond. And while the BLM and MeToo movements have received much media attention, the underlying factors that contribute to the inequality they point out aren’t always addressed.
Implicit, or unconscious, bias is the root of many systemic inequities in the workplace. It’s important that we recognize our personal biases, take action to mitigate them and actively serve as an ally to others.
On June 10, join Catherine Mattice-Zundel, president of Civility Partners, a training and consulting firm focused on helping organizations build positive workplace cultures, as she outlines strategies for uncovering and reducing implicit bias in workplace decision-making.
The webinar will cover:
● The origins of bias and four different types of bias
● Risk factors that increase our likelihood to engage in bias
● How to compensate for and attempt to overcome bias through clear and tangible actions
● Strategies to combat microaggressions and other exclusive behaviors using simple, tried and true
intervention methods
Search Engine Skills for Workplace InvestigatorsCase IQ
Whether you are investigating fraud, harassment or other misconduct, solid online research skills can serve you well. The internet is a valuable resource for finding information and evidence to support your case, and it’s important to stay up to date on its use and limitations.
Join Cynthia Hetherington, investigation expert, trainer and founder of Hetherington Group, as she explores techniques and tools for getting the information you need online.
Preventing Bullying and Harassment Through Diversity and Inclusion in the Wor...Case IQ
In a 2019 Monster survey, 90 per cent of employees said they had experienced bullying in the workplace. The Pew Research Center reports that 69 per cent of women say they have been sexually harassed in a professional setting. These numbers point to a serious problem that leaders can’t afford to ignore.
Policies and training are, of course, critical to the prevention of bullying and harassment, but there are other avenues that you may not have considered. Diversity and inclusion have benefits that go far beyond compliance. Not only do companies that embrace diversity and inclusion outperform those that don’t, but understanding, accepting and valuing differences ensures a fairer, more collaborative environment with less conflict.
Join Catherine Mattice-Zundel, president of Civility Partners, a training and consulting firm focused on helping organizations build positive workplace cultures, as she explores strategies for using diversity and inclusion to prevent harassment and bullying.
The webinar will cover:
What constitutes bullying and harassment in the workplace
Best practices for addressing and preventing bullying and harassment
How diversity and inclusion helps to reduce bullying and harassment
How to achieve diversity and inclusion
Case studies of how bullying, inequities and harassment tie together, and how resolving one requires resolving all
Insider Threat: Cases and Controls to Prevent Internal Fraud and PreventionCase IQ
“I never would have imagined”, said the company owner, manager, colleague, or workplace friend. It is hard to reconcile that people would engage in fraudulent behavior in the workplace, let alone the depth of these schemes. Financial misconduct and internal fraud are among the biggest threats to today’s organizations. Without the right controls and prevention measures in place, companies are at financial and reputational risk.
Join financial crime compliance advisory and training specialist Michael Schidlow, as he reviews recent cases of internal fraud, what we can learn from them, and controls that companies can put in place to prevent fraud
7 Ways to Increase Ethical Accountability and Decrease Fraud Risk Case IQ
It’s long been clear that organizations with strong ethical cultures perform better than those without. In addition to the multitude of positive impacts a strong ethical culture provides, these organizations will also typically experience less fraud and misconduct. However, to achieve maximum results, a strong ethical culture must focus on accountability and include robust fraud prevention measures.
Ethical accountability takes time and effort to build, but the rewards of fostering the right culture in an organization are measurable. Fewer fraud incidents, for example, can be demonstrated by hard numbers. A strong code of conduct is a great start, but it’s critical to have a comprehensive ethics program that fosters accountability.
Join Joseph Agins, CFE, CCEP, adjunct professor and fraud expert, as he outlines strategies organizations can use to ensure every employee from the C-Suite down has the tools they need to help them make ethical decisions and prevent fraud.
The webinar will cover:
The importance of tone from the top
Identifying the pressures employees face and thus the ethics and fraud risks
Understanding the resources employees have (or not) to report wrongdoing
Whether the internal imagining of the culture matches the reality
Developing tools and strategies for fostering ethics in the workplace
Anti-fraud measures that should be incorporated into every ethics policy
Encouraging ethics and accountability
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Vat Registration is a legal obligation for businesses meeting the threshold requirement, helping companies avoid fines and ramifications. Contact now!
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RMD24 | Retail media: hoe zet je dit in als je geen AH of Unilever bent? Heid...BBPMedia1
Grote partijen zijn al een tijdje onderweg met retail media. Ondertussen worden in dit domein ook de kansen zichtbaar voor andere spelers in de markt. Maar met die kansen ontstaan ook vragen: Zelf retail media worden of erop adverteren? In welke fase van de funnel past het en hoe integreer je het in een mediaplan? Wat is nu precies het verschil met marketplaces en Programmatic ads? In dit half uur beslechten we de dilemma's en krijg je antwoorden op wanneer het voor jou tijd is om de volgende stap te zetten.
Tata Group Dials Taiwan for Its Chipmaking Ambition in Gujarat’s DholeraAvirahi City Dholera
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How to deal with difficult people - Timothy Dimoff
1. How to Deal With Difficult People
Timothy Dimoff
TADimoff@sacsconsulting.comTADimoff@sacsconsulting.com
2. Introduction
Timothy Dimoff
Timothy Dimoff, president of SACS Consulting & Investigative Services, Inc., is
a speaker, trainer and author and a leading authority on high-risk workplace and
human resource security and crime. He is a Certified Protection Professional, a
certified legal expert in corporate security procedures and training, a member of
the Ohio and International Narcotic Associations, the Ohio and National
Societies for Human Resource Managers, and the American Society for
Industrial Security. He holds a B.S. in Sociology, with an emphasis in
criminology, from Denison University.
Joe Gerard
Joe Gerard is the VP of Sales & Marketing at i-Sight, a leading provider of web-
based case management software for corporate investigations. He’s worked
with companies like Dell, Coke, Allstate, BP and more than 100 others to
implement improved investigative processes that leverage best practices and
case management.
3. The Reality of Life Rage
• Tension, violence, bullying,
rage and negative
encounters exist in all
aspects of daily life
• We live in a 24/7 “pressure
cooker” society
• Abnormal behavior has now
become the norm
4. Objectives
• Aggressive vs. Assertive Behavior
• Reacting vs. Responding
• How we communicate
• Causes of outbursts
5. Objectives
• Stages of aggression
• De-escalating aggression
• Things never to say to someone
• Verbal judo
• Speaking “Peace Language”
7. Employees/Customers Expect
Managers to Have…
• Communication skills
• Listening skills
• Interpersonal skills and compassion
• Professionalism
• Community awareness
8. Tipping the Scale…
• Reason vs. Emotion
–When a person is reasonable they are
less emotional and reactive
–When a person is emotional and
reactive, they are less reasonable
• GOAL: reduce emotion to regain
reasonableness
11. Be the Model
Assertive Behavior:
When one individual is able to
communicate their needs, desires, and
expectations while still respecting
another individual’s rights.
13. REacting vs. REsponding
• When upset, people never say what they
mean!
• When a manager reacts to the words,
he/she is incapable of responding to the
underlying meanings.
• When we REact, the “act” controls us.
• When we REspond, we re-answer,
suggesting control and assertiveness
15. How We Communicate is Key
• Although we communicate verbally—we
also communicate non-verbally.
• Vocal tone and body language contribute
significantly to the message you send.
• You can say the right thing—but if you
come off meek or hostile, your words may
not achieve the desired outcome.
16. Don’t Confuse Sympathy with
Empathy
Sympathy means to share feelings.
Empathy is when you momentarily
stand in another’s shoes.
TACTICAL EMPATHY is a strategic skill
managers/supervisors must learn and practice.
17. The Stages of Aggression
Stage 1: Initial tension and
frustration
Help person vent, reflect on the situation
and devise their own solution.
Stage 2: Verbal Attack
Emotion begins to overwhelm reason and
they go on the offensive with verbal
attacks
18. The Stages of Aggression
Stage 3: Loss of Control
Individual loses control over their anger
and are close to acting out through violent
behaviors.
19. Your Best Response?
Deny aggressor what he/she seeks:
When you deny the aggressor the fear
response...
…the threat’s potency withers.
20. Your Best Response?
Many people think it best to ignore the
comment. But that suggests fear.
Do not laugh it off, or counter with a threat
of your own. Such responses often
motivate an escalation.
Your best response should suggest
confidence—not fear.
21. What Happens to YOU?
When someone is angry at you…
…many people tend to get angry right
back.
Or...
…your mind goes blank so you can’t
think of what to say or do.
22. De-escalating Aggression
Step 1: Identify Yourself
• If a first-meeting, offer your first name.
• It demonstrates confidence.
• Establishes the beginnings of rapport. You are a
person—not an organizational figurehead.
• Find out who’s confronting you—ask for the
other person’s name.
• If you get it—use it.
23. De-escalating Aggression
Step 2: Hear Them Out
• People who are upset want to be heard. Let
them say their piece.
• Let them vent, scream and rant. When finished
you are more likely to engage in a reasonable
conversation.
• However—if the person has a violent history,
or intuition tells you the situation is escalating
—you may need to take a different approach.
24. De-escalating Aggression
Step 3: Paraphrase
• If you can, quote the person exactly.
• Open with something like: “Let me be sure I
understand what you said.”
• Include an emotional component—but avoid
aggressive words ( use “frustrated” not “angry”).
25. De-escalating Aggression
Step 4: Explain Your Position
• You ask the person to do what you want.
• Tighten the noose with the “yes set.”
– 2 to 3 yeses to set the tone
– A fact
– Your request
26. De-escalating Aggression
Step 5: Explain Positive Options
• By nature, people are self-centered—so exploit it.
• Describe 2 or 3 positive reasons why the person
should cooperate.
• Then make your request again.
27. De-escalating Aggression
Step 6: Explain Negative Options
• This step highlights what the person stands to
lose by not cooperating.
• Psychologically, people are often more
motivated to avoid loss than gain reward.
• Identify 2 to 3 negatives.
• Turn the tables: “You tell me, what do you
think will happen if we can’t resolve the
situation?”
28. De-escalating Aggression
Step 7: Last Chance
• Give the person one final opportunity to
cooperate.
• “Is there anything I can say or do that will get
you to cooperate?”
29. How to Work Face-to-Face
Do:
• Work on being respectful. Even if the person is
insulting you, they may just need to vent.
• Even when being yelled at: maintain poise and
self-control. Keep voice low and calm.
• Be matter of fact. Use short, simple statements.
• Keep hands in view—at sides or slightly out to
the side.
30. How to Work Face-to-Face
Do:
• Set guidelines on behavior.
• Allow a person to yell—but let them know threats
are not allowed.
• Tell them you understand why they are angry.
• Give person ample time to vent. It does not hurt
you and can help them.
• However, if a person seems to get more
aggressive by their words, try to calm them
down!
31. Understand Predisposition Factors
• Why is the person behaving in this
manner?
– Are they just angry at the situation—or do they
need something in particular?
– Does person have mental illness?
• Are drugs or alcohol involved? If so, be
especially watchful of the person!
32. Understand Predisposition Factors
• Understanding reasons for the person’s
anger is essential to helping them find a
solution.
• We can always help them accomplish
something!
– It may not be what they initially want, but try to
help them find some relief.
• These factors are vital in preparing for a
potentially violent episode.
33. Don’t Do This!
• Do not make sudden movements.
• Do not use threats or sharp commands—
this will further exacerbate the situation!
• Do not challenge a person—verbally or
physically.
34. Don’t Do This!
• Do not argue, criticize or be judgmental of
their situation, even if you think someone
should.
• Always remain calm. You are the one who
can diffuse the potentially dangerous
situation.
35. Don’t Do This!
• Don’t make promises you cannot keep.
– Be upfront with information, but find another
solution to present before delivering bad news.
– This helps the person see you understand
his/her problem and want to help.
• Don’t take anger personally.
36. Don’t Do This!
• Avoid joking or laughing in an angry
person’s presence or showing signs of
being impatient.
• Don’t use statements such as:
– “You need to sit down, calm down, and stop
yelling.” This fuels the fire.
37. How to Protect Yourself
• Do not touch an angry person.
• Do not invade their personal space—provide at
least 4 feet of space.
• Give the person an escape route that does not
involve coming close to you (they may knock you
down getting out).
39. Verbal Judo
“Hey you! Come here!”
• To you, “come here” means “Over here.
You are under my authority.”
• To the person, it means: “Go away quickly!”
40. Verbal Judo
“Hey, calm down!”
• To the person, it is a criticism of their
behavior.
• Suggests they have no legitimate right to be
upset.
• Not only is there the problem they were
upset about—now they need to defend their
reaction to you.
41. Verbal Judo
Instead gently say…
• “It’s going to be all right. Talk to me. What’s
the matter?”
• Softens person up to talk.
• “Calm down” hardens their resistance.
42. Verbal Judo
“I’m not going to tell you again!”
• Repetition is weakness.
• Places you in position where you must act.
43. Verbal Judo
Instead say…
• “Sir, is there anything I could say that would
get you to do A, B, and C? I’d like to think
so.”
• If answer is “no”, we act while individual is
still talking. We do not threaten people, but
we do act when verbal persuasion fails.”
44. Verbal Judo
“Be more reasonable!”
• Everyone believes they are being
reasonable given present circumstances.
• You only invite conflict.
45. Verbal Judo
Instead say…
• “Let me see if I understand your position.”
• Paraphrase their response in your own
words.
• This will calm them because your words will
be more professional and less emotional.
46. Verbal Judo
“Because those are the rules!”
Or…
“Because that’s the law!”
• The phrase irritates people and puts you in
a position of weakness.
47. Verbal Judo
Instead…
• Tell people why.
• At least 70% of resistant or difficult people will
do what you want if you just tell them why.
• You establish ground to stand on and give the
other good reason for complying—not just
because you said so.
48. Verbal Judo
“What’s your problem?”
• This useless phrase puts the problem back
on the person needing assistance.
• Nobody likes to admit he/she has a
problem.
49. Verbal Judo
Instead…
• Substitute tactical phrases designed to soften
and open someone up, like...
– “What’s the matter?”
– “How can I help?”
– “I see you’re upset, let me suggest…”
50. Verbal Judo
“What do you want me to do about it?”
• A sarcastic question.
• An evasion of your responsibility.
• You now have two problems: the original one
and the one you just created by appearing to
duck responsibility.
51. Verbal Judo
Instead…
• Offer to help sort out the problem and
work out a solution.
• Insult strengthens resistance and shuts
the eyes.
• Civility weakens resistance and opens
the eyes!
52. Speaking “Peace Language”
• “Peace Language” is professional because
it enhances opportunities for achieving
voluntary compliance.
• Masks inner feelings that might be naturally
negative.
• Language that stimulates conflict is
unprofessional.
53. Speaking “Peace Language”
• Become expert at finding ways to help
others save personal face.
• How you deal with confrontation will be
easier if you learn how to handle it in an
assertive manner.
• If you can help someone save face—you
almost never have to fight them!
54. End Result…
The professional manager/supervisor
anticipates trouble and moves to prevent it…
…rather than expecting it and provoking
trouble.
55. Questions
If you have any questions, please submit them now.
Thank you for taking the time to attend today’s webinar.
If you have any questions about the information covered in the webinar,
please contact:
Joe Gerard
jgerard@i-sight.com
Timothy Dimoff
TADimoff@sacsconsulting.com