This document provides information about dealing with difficult people in work situations. It discusses different types of difficult people like cranky, aggressive, subtle snipers, complainers, and silent people. For each type, it offers strategies on how to approach them and provides constructive feedback. The key strategies discussed are changing your own attitude, changing their attitude, taking a stand if needed, or running as a last resort. The document emphasizes understanding different perspectives, not taking things personally, and focusing on changing your own responses rather than trying to change the difficult person.

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3. Difficult PeopleDifficult People
Roles
- Stakeholders, Team members, Vendors, Users
Levels
- Senior Managers, Developers, Admin, Peers
Degrees of Difficulty

4. YOUR CLASS PROJECTYOUR CLASS PROJECTCommonSituation
You are in a group for a class project and one
of your group members is not doing ANY of
the work and has failed to hand in their
portion of the assignment.
Meanwhile, there is another group member
who is being very controlling and has taken
it upon themselves to do all of the project
and to edit the work you’ve handed in.

5. YOUR CLASS PROJECTYOUR CLASS PROJECTCommonSituation
As a group member who
doesn’t want to do
others work but wants to
contribute to the group,
HOW would you approach
these two people and give
them constructive feedback?

6. Understanding Difficult BehaviorUnderstanding Difficult Behavior
Who is the difficult?
In general:
Someone exhibiting negative behavior with
most people, most of the time
For you:
A colleague exhibiting negative behavior
towards you

7. Understanding Difficult BehaviorUnderstanding Difficult Behavior
Difficult people are usually a result of
conflicting personalities not because
of intentional behaviors
If you notice someone is more difficult
around you than others, it may be
because your personalities
clash

8. Understanding Difficult BehaviorUnderstanding Difficult Behavior
It’s important to remember we can all be
difficult whether we mean to or not
NO FEAR! I’ll give you some tips to help
you deal…

9. The 4 StrategiesThe 4 Strategies
Change YOUR Attitude
Change THEIR Attitude
Take a Stand
RUN

10. Check your perception
See beyond “difficult”
Understand their point of view
Change YOUR AttitudeChange YOUR Attitude

11. Understand why they are difficult
Show them another angle
Help them see you as a person
Change THEIR AttitudeChange THEIR Attitude

12. Take a StandTake a Stand
Used when:
Your attitude is not the problem
You cannot change their attitude
It goes beyond attitude to hurtful actions
Running is too costly

13. How to Take a StandHow to Take a Stand
Understand your options
Develop a strategy
Confront and collaborate (good guy)
The “or else” (bad guy)
Take action
Persevere

14. RUNRUN
Last resort
Used when you have nothing to gain
from:
Change YOUR Attitude
Change THEIR Attitude
Take a Stand

15. Types of Difficult PeopleTypes of Difficult People
Silent Complainer Sniper Aggressive Cranky

16. Cranky PeopleCranky People
Some people may be
purposefully cranky
because it helps them get
their own way.
For others, crankiness is
simply a reflection of their
own inner turmoil.
Why are people cranky?

17. How to Deal with Cranky PeopleHow to Deal with Cranky People
Try to determine the real message the person
is telling you.
Are you any part of the problem?
What can you change about your own
behavior?
Don’t remain silent. Agree with any part of
the cranky person’s statement that may be
true.
In a neutral tone of voice say,
“Would you please speak to me in a calmer tone of

18. Aggressive PeopleAggressive People
Overly aggressive people
expect others to either:
◦ Run away from them
◦ React with rage
Why are people aggressive?

19. How to Deal with AggressiveHow to Deal with Aggressive
PeoplePeople
Stand up to them, but don’t fight.
Wait for them to run out of some steam.
Call the hostile person by name and
assert your own opinions with
confidence.
◦ “Hani, you interrupted me. We can discuss my
project scope after you listen to it.”

20. Subtle SnipersSubtle Snipers
These people are experts
in pot shots and sneak
attacks in subtle ways,
such as:
◦ Humorous put downs
◦ Sarcastic tones of voice
◦ Disapproving looks
◦ Innuendos

21. How to Deal with SubtleHow to Deal with Subtle
SnipersSnipers
Respond to the sniper with a question.
◦ “That sounds like you’re making fun of me. Are you?”
◦ “What are you trying to tell me with that look?”
◦ “Did you really mean what you said?”
A sniper will usually respond with denial
or volley the responsibility to you.
◦ “I’m only joking.”
◦ “You’re so serious. Can’t you take a joke?”
Speaking up lessens the chance of similar
attacks in the future.

22. ComplainersComplainers
These are fearful people
who have little faith in
themselves or others
because they believe in a
hostile world.
Their constant
discouragement and
complaining can bring
everyone to despair.

23. How to Deal with ComplainersHow to Deal with Complainers
Don’t try to argue them out of their
negativity.
Respond with your own optimistic
expectations.
◦ “I think that everything will turn out great.”
◦ “I am sure we will get done on time.”

24. Silent PeopleSilent People
They are timid people
who retreat into their
shells to avoid conflict and
responsibility.
They get away with not
talking because most
people are uncomfortable
with silence and are too
quick to fill in the gaps.

25. How to Deal with Silent PeopleHow to Deal with Silent People
Ask them questions that cannot be
answered with just a “yes” or “no”, such
as:
◦ “Would you please help me understand the
problem you are facing?”
Wait at least one full minute. Then, if the
silent person won’t respond, set another
date to discuss the matter.

26. Do Not ...
A difficult person’s behavior is habitual.
He behaves this way with most people.
Don’t take the difficult person’s behavior
personally.
Don’t make excuses for the difficult
person’s behavior.
Think of other people who have faced
adversity and have not become difficult.
You lose control when you make excuses
for difficult people.

27. Do Not ...
Don’t try to beat them at their own game.
They have been practicing their skills for a
long time, and you are a beginner by
comparison.
Don’t fight back.
Don’t try to appease them.
It won’t work because difficult people
have an insatiable appetite for more.

28. Do Not ...
You can’t change other people.
You can only change your response to
their behavior.
By changing your responses, they may
decide to change…or they may not.
However, you will feel better.
Don’t try to change the difficult person.

30. THANKYOUTHANKYOU