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Dealing with difficult people
The document discusses strategies for dealing with difficult people, defining what constitutes difficult behavior and categorizing various types of difficult individuals. It offers practical tips for managing interactions, emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence, and highlights coping mechanisms and communication techniques to foster better relationships. Additionally, it provides a scoring system to help individuals assess their perspectives on difficult people and their impact on personal and organizational dynamics.
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Dealing with difficult people
- 2. Dealing with DifficultPeople People & EI Basic Skills How to Deal with difficult people? Advanced Skills Emotional Intelligence
- 3. Who I am? •H.H.H. •My Experience: –8 Years with STP –Start-Up Activity –Start-UP NGO –Trainer For other Student Activities: C.C. (Credit Club), Update, BE (Better Engineer), صناع الحياة
- 6. •Introduction. –What isa Difficult Behavior? –The Three Choices we have. •Types of Difficult People? •How to Deal with Difficult People? •Tips to make Life Easier •Summary.
- 8. Scoring •Agree =2 points •Not Sure = 1 points •Disagree = 0 points
- 9. Results •(15-20) Points: You feel difficult people are disruptive, waste time, etc... (They are a serious issue for you.) •(10-14) Points : Not sure whether difficult people are a problem for you, other people, or the organization as a whole. (You have thick skin or are in denial) •(0-9) Points : Not convinced they are problematic. You are either correct or oblivious to what’s going on around you (You may be the difficult person!)
- 10. •Introduction. –What isa Difficult Behavior? –The Three Choices we have. •Types of Difficult People? •How to Deal with Difficult People? •Tips to make Life Easier •Summary.
- 11. Introduction } وَكَانَالإِنْسَانُ أَكْثَرَ شَيْءٍ جَدَ لا { ]الكهف: 54 ]
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- 14. Lesson of theFIST They will get motivated to RESISTmore…
- 15. Introduction •Conflict: “Existswhen one person has a need of another and that need is not being met.” “A serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one.” 15
- 16. What is adifficult behavior? Difficult behavior takes many forms, It includes: •Gossiping •Going over your bosses head •Foot dragging •Ignoring orders •refusing to talk •being rude •Yelling •Ignoring •harassing 16
- 17. What is adifficult behavior? •Difficult behavior is often a result of psychological needs for control, recognition, affection, and respect. 17
- 18. Exercise 1 BehaviorsYOUMet
- 19. The cycle ofconflict THEM! •Loud •Obnoxious •Arrogant •Crazy •Demanding •Offensive YOU! •Defensive •Frustrated •Louder •Superiors •Confused •Crazy
- 20. Three Choices •Confrontthe Difficult Person •Cope with the Difficult Person •Get Away (Leave) from the Difficult Person 20
- 21. Coping with difficultSituations •Am I dealing with a difficult person or a difficult situation? •What am I willing to accept about this person or situation? •Should I put some distance between me and the person or situation? 21
- 23. Types of DifficultPeople
- 24. Types of DifficultPeople “The TANK” CHARACTERISTICS: •Wants to control the process and get things done •Behavior ranges from mild pushiness to outright aggression 24
- 25. Types of DifficultPeople “The Sniper” CHARACTERISTICS: •Attempts to control you through embarrassment and humiliation 25
- 26. Types of DifficultPeople “The Grenade” CHARACTERISTICS: •Feels unappreciated and disrespected •Ranting and raving is difficult to ignore 26
- 27. Types of DifficultPeople“The Know-it-all” CHARACTERISTICS: •Knowledgeable and competent people who intend to get it done in the way they have predetermined is best. 27
- 28. Types of DifficultPeople“The Think-they-Know-it-all” CHARACTERISTICS: •Specialists in exaggeration, half- truths, jargon, useless advice, and unsolicited opinions• •Charismatic and desperate for attention 28
- 29. Types of DifficultPeople “The YES Person” CHARACTERISTICS: •Gets along but can easily over commit •Doesn’t understand the true nature of the task they have accepted. 29
- 30. Types of DifficultPeople “The Maybe Person” CHARACTERISTICS: •The downside of each option blinds them 30
- 31. Types of DifficultPeople “The Nothing Person” CHARACTERISTICS: •Passive •Can be task focused or people focused• •Tends to be a perfectionist when task-oriented •Tends to withdraw when people-oriented (rather than hurting anyone’s feelings) 31
- 32. Types of DifficultPeople “The NO Person” CHARACTERISTICS: •Task-focused and needs to get it right •Finds the negatives in everyone and everything 32
- 33. Types of DifficultPeople “The Whiner” CHARACTERISTICS: •Suffers from severe inability to see what could and should be •Sees things wrong with what was and with what is. 33
- 34. Exercise 2 TheRight Matrix & The Aggressiveness Matrix
- 35. The Right Matrix Bullying: Win-lose •The Tank •The Sniper •Grenade •The know-it-all •The Think-they-know –it-all •The Whiner •The NOPerson Problem-solving: Win-win Avoiding: Lose-lose •The Nothing Person •The Maybe Person •The Whiner •The NOPerson Conceding: Lose-win •TheYes Person •The Maybe Person 35
- 36. The Aggressiveness Matrix PassiveAggressiveness •TheYes Person •The Nothing Person •The Maybe Person Open Aggressiveness •The Tank •Grenade •The know-it-all •The Think-they-know –it-all Constant Complaining •The Whiner •The NOPerson DestructiveCriticism •The Sniper •The Maybe Person •The NOPerson 36
- 37. Practice Brain Stormingof Solutions
- 38. Challenges of eachType The Tank: 38
- 39. Types of DifficultPeople “The TANK” Challenges: •Commanding respect •Holding your ground •Interrupting the attack •Aiming for the bottom line and fire Establishing peace with honor (Such as: “You and I have to work together”) 39
- 40. Types of DifficultPeople “The Sniper” Challenges : •Bringing the sniper out of hiding •Using searchlight questions like: “What’s the intent or •relevancy of that statement?” •Using “Tank” behaviors if necessary •Making the behavior of “Sniping” •uncomfortable 40
- 41. Types of DifficultPeople “The Grenade” Challenges: •Taking control of the situation •Getting their attention •Making sure your tone and language are friendly •Showing genuine concern •Reducing intensity 41
- 42. Types of DifficultPeople“The Know-it-all” Challenges : •Opening them up to new ideas •Being prepared and knowing your stuff •Blending with their doubts and desires •Presenting your views indirectly •Turning them into mentors •Recognizing their expertise 42
- 43. Types of DifficultPeople“The Think-they-Know-it-all” Challenges : •Finding an acceptable way to disavow their unworkable ideas •Providing them a little attention •Getting clarification for specifics •Being patient •Gently confronting them with the consequences of their negative behavior •Crediting the things they do right 43
- 44. Types of DifficultPeople “The YES Person” Challenges : •Getting commitments you can count on •Making it safe to be honest •Talking openly and acknowledging their honesty •Helping them learn to better plan •Getting their word and summarizing their commitment •Ensuring understanding of negative consequences •Strengthening the relationship 44
- 45. Types of DifficultPeople “The Maybe Person” Challenges : •Helping them to think decisively •Establishing and maintaining a comfort zone •Surfacing conflicts and clarifying issues •Using a decision-making system •Reassuring and then ensuring follow through •Strengthening the relationship 45
- 46. Types of DifficultPeople “The Nothing Person” Challenges : •Persuading them to talk •Planning enough time •Asking open-ended questions •Lightening the mood 46
- 47. Types of DifficultPeople “The NO Person” Challenges : •Moving from fault finding to problem solving •Allowing them to be negative •Using them as a resource and early warning system •Not pushing for an immediate decision •Acknowledging their good intent 47
- 48. Types of DifficultPeople “The Whiner” Challenges : •Forming a problem-solving alliance •Listening for the main points •Getting specific •Shifting the focus to solutions •Showing them the future •Drawing the line -talk solutions or stop talking for now 48
- 49. How to Dealwith Difficult People? •Stay Centered •Reality check •Focus on behavior •Listen •Give Feedback 49
- 50. Listening 50 Active&Receptive
- 51. Reasons get themdifficult 1-They have a need to tellus something
- 52. •Listen •“Key ofcooperation” Confirm the listening 1-They have a need to tellus something
- 53. Reasons get themdifficult 2-They are afraid we don’t understand the seriousnessof their problem
- 54. •Empathetic •Don’t say“Calm down” •Understand VsAgree 2-They are afraid we don’t understand the seriousnessof their problem
- 55. •Ask Them •Whatare your ideas About the problem? 3-they don’t believe we valuetheir inputs & ideas
- 56. •Listening •Empathetic •Askthem All Receptive Skills
- 57. Reasons get themdifficult 4-they are afraid that If WE WIN, They Lose
- 58. •Problem Solving •Takingthe “active” role by mixing their ideas with yours 4-they are afraid that If WE WIN, They Lose
- 59. 4-they are afraidthat If WE WIN, They Lose 3-they don’t believe we valuetheir inputs & ideas 2-They are afraid we don’t understand the seriousnessof their problem 1-They have a need to tellus something
- 60. •Listening •Empathetic •Askthem •Problem Solving LEAP Model
- 61.
- 62. Reasons get themdifficult 5-they are afraid that we will blame or criticize them
- 63. •You stupid idiotRULE •Speak in a way that don’t put them on the defensive position 5-they are afraid that we will blame or criticize them
- 64. •Problem Solving •Listening •Empathetic •Ask them •Speak “not Blame” LEAPS Model
- 65.
- 66. 1. Forgive: •Askyourself, “What is it about this situation or person that I can seek to understand and forgive?” 2. Wait it Out •Wait until you’ve cooled off before responding, if you choose to respond at all.
- 67. 3. “Does itreally matter if I am right?: If you find yourself arguing for the sake of being right, ask “Does it matter if I am right?” •If yes, then ask “Why do I need to be right? What will I gain?”
- 68. 4. Don’t Respond: Many times when a person initiates a negative message or difficult attitude, they are trying to trigger a response from you. When we react, we are actually giving them what they want.
- 69. 5. Stop talkingabout it: The more we talk about how much we dislike a person, the more hate we will feel towards them and the more we’ll notice things about them that we dislike.
- 70. 6. Look forthe lesson: No situation is ever lost if we can take away from it some lessons that will help us grow and become a better person. 7. Choose to Eliminate the People in your Life: Negative people can be a source of energy drain. Cut them out by avoiding interactions with them as much as possible.
- 71.
- 72. Summary •Introduction. •Whatis an Difficult Behavior? •Types of Difficult People. •How to Deal with Difficult People? •Tips to make Life Easier.
- 73.