This Presentations talks about knowing more about your personality, know more about different types of people that might be difficult. Finally, tips on how to deal with them. Remember: You could be one of the difficult people so be fair :)

2. Dealing with Difficult People
People & EI
Basic Skills
How to Deal with difficult people?
Advanced Skills
Emotional Intelligence

3. Who I am?
•H.H.H.
•My Experience:
–8 Years with STP
–Start-Up Activity
–Start-UP NGO
–Trainer For other Student Activities: C.C. (Credit Club), Update, BE (Better Engineer), صناع الحياة

6. •Introduction.
–What is a Difficult Behavior?
–The Three Choices we have.
•Types of Difficult People?
•How to Deal with Difficult People?
•Tips to make Life Easier
•Summary.

8. Scoring
•Agree = 2 points
•Not Sure = 1 points
•Disagree = 0 points

9. Results
•(15-20) Points:
You feel difficult people are disruptive, waste time, etc...
(They are a serious issue for you.)
•(10-14) Points :
Not sure whether difficult people are a problem for you, other people, or the organization as a whole.
(You have thick skin or are in denial)
•(0-9) Points :
Not convinced they are problematic. You are either correct or oblivious to what’s going on around you
(You may be the difficult person!)

10. •Introduction.
–What is a Difficult Behavior?
–The Three Choices we have.
•Types of Difficult People?
•How to Deal with Difficult People?
•Tips to make Life Easier
•Summary.

11. Introduction
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12. Definition of Conflict

13. Activity
A & B

14. Lesson of the FIST
They will get motivated
to RESISTmore…

15. Introduction
•Conflict:
“Exists when one person has a need of another and that need is not being met.”
“A serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one.”
15

16. What is a difficult behavior?
Difficult behavior takes many forms, It includes:
•Gossiping
•Going over your bosses head
•Foot dragging
•Ignoring orders
•refusing to talk
•being rude
•Yelling
•Ignoring
•harassing
16

17. What is a difficult behavior?
•Difficult behavior is often a result of psychological needs for control, recognition, affection, and respect.
17

18. Exercise 1
Behaviors YOUMet

19. The cycle of conflict
THEM!
•Loud
•Obnoxious
•Arrogant
•Crazy
•Demanding
•Offensive
YOU!
•Defensive
•Frustrated
•Louder
•Superiors
•Confused
•Crazy

20. Three Choices
•Confront the Difficult Person
•Cope with the Difficult Person
•Get Away (Leave) from the Difficult Person
20

21. Coping with difficult Situations
•Am I dealing with a difficult person or a difficult situation?
•What am I willing to accept about this person or situation?
•Should I put some distance between me and the person or situation?
21

23. Types of Difficult People

24. Types of Difficult People
“The TANK” CHARACTERISTICS:
•Wants to control the process and get things done
•Behavior ranges from mild pushiness to outright aggression
24

25. Types of Difficult People
“The Sniper” CHARACTERISTICS:
•Attempts to control you through embarrassment and humiliation
25

26. Types of Difficult People
“The Grenade” CHARACTERISTICS:
•Feels unappreciated and disrespected
•Ranting and raving is difficult to ignore
26

27. Types of Difficult People“The Know-it-all” CHARACTERISTICS:
•Knowledgeable and competent people who intend to get it done in the way they have predetermined is best.
27

28. Types of Difficult People“The Think-they-Know-it-all” CHARACTERISTICS:
•Specialists in exaggeration, half-
truths, jargon, useless advice, and unsolicited opinions•
•Charismatic and desperate for attention
28

29. Types of Difficult People
“The YES Person” CHARACTERISTICS:
•Gets along but can easily over commit
•Doesn’t understand the true nature of the task they have accepted.
29

30. Types of Difficult People
“The Maybe Person” CHARACTERISTICS:
•The downside of each option blinds them
30

31. Types of Difficult People
“The Nothing Person” CHARACTERISTICS:
•Passive
•Can be task focused or people focused•
•Tends to be a perfectionist when task-oriented
•Tends to withdraw when people-oriented
(rather than hurting anyone’s feelings)
31

32. Types of Difficult People
“The NO Person” CHARACTERISTICS:
•Task-focused and needs to get it right
•Finds the negatives in everyone and everything
32

33. Types of Difficult People
“The Whiner” CHARACTERISTICS:
•Suffers from severe inability to see what could and should be
•Sees things wrong with what was and with what is.
33

34. Exercise 2
The Right Matrix
&
The Aggressiveness Matrix

35. The Right Matrix
Bullying: Win-lose
•The Tank
•The Sniper
•Grenade
•The know-it-all
•The Think-they-know –it-all
•The Whiner
•The NOPerson
Problem-solving: Win-win
Avoiding: Lose-lose
•The Nothing Person
•The Maybe Person
•The Whiner
•The NOPerson
Conceding: Lose-win
•TheYes Person
•The Maybe Person
35

36. The Aggressiveness Matrix
PassiveAggressiveness
•TheYes Person
•The Nothing Person
•The Maybe Person
Open Aggressiveness
•The Tank
•Grenade
•The know-it-all
•The Think-they-know –it-all
Constant Complaining
•The Whiner
•The NOPerson
DestructiveCriticism
•The Sniper
•The Maybe Person
•The NOPerson
36

37. Practice
Brain Storming of Solutions

38. Challenges of each Type
The Tank:
38

39. Types of Difficult People
“The TANK” Challenges:
•Commanding respect
•Holding your ground
•Interrupting the attack
•Aiming for the bottom line and fire Establishing peace with honor
(Such as: “You and I have to work together”)
39

40. Types of Difficult People
“The Sniper” Challenges :
•Bringing the sniper out of hiding
•Using searchlight questions like: “What’s the intent or
•relevancy of that statement?”
•Using “Tank” behaviors if necessary
•Making the behavior of “Sniping”
•uncomfortable
40

41. Types of Difficult People
“The Grenade” Challenges:
•Taking control of the situation
•Getting their attention
•Making sure your tone and language are friendly
•Showing genuine concern
•Reducing intensity
41

42. Types of Difficult People“The Know-it-all” Challenges :
•Opening them up to new ideas
•Being prepared and knowing your stuff
•Blending with their doubts and desires
•Presenting your views indirectly
•Turning them into mentors
•Recognizing their expertise
42

43. Types of Difficult People“The Think-they-Know-it-all” Challenges :
•Finding an acceptable way to disavow their unworkable ideas
•Providing them a little attention
•Getting clarification for specifics
•Being patient
•Gently confronting them with the consequences of their negative behavior
•Crediting the things they do right
43

44. Types of Difficult People
“The YES Person” Challenges :
•Getting commitments you can count on
•Making it safe to be honest
•Talking openly and acknowledging their honesty
•Helping them learn to better plan
•Getting their word and summarizing their commitment
•Ensuring understanding of negative consequences
•Strengthening the relationship
44

45. Types of Difficult People
“The Maybe Person” Challenges :
•Helping them to think decisively
•Establishing and maintaining a comfort zone
•Surfacing conflicts and clarifying issues
•Using a decision-making system
•Reassuring and then ensuring follow through
•Strengthening the relationship
45

46. Types of Difficult People
“The Nothing Person” Challenges :
•Persuading them to talk
•Planning enough time
•Asking open-ended questions
•Lightening the mood
46

47. Types of Difficult People
“The NO Person” Challenges :
•Moving from fault finding to problem solving
•Allowing them to be negative
•Using them as a resource and early warning system
•Not pushing for an immediate decision
•Acknowledging their good intent
47

48. Types of Difficult People
“The Whiner” Challenges :
•Forming a problem-solving alliance
•Listening for the main points
•Getting specific
•Shifting the focus to solutions
•Showing them the future
•Drawing the line -talk solutions or stop talking for now
48

49. How to Deal with Difficult People?
•Stay Centered
•Reality check
•Focus on behavior
•Listen
•Give Feedback
49

50. Listening
50
Active &Receptive

51. Reasons get them difficult
1-They have a need to tellus something

52. •Listen
•“Key of cooperation”
Confirm the listening
1-They have a need to tellus something

53. Reasons get them difficult
2-They are afraid we don’t understand the seriousnessof their problem

54. •Empathetic
•Don’t say “Calm down”
•Understand VsAgree
2-They are afraid we don’t understand the seriousnessof their problem

55. •Ask Them
•What are your ideas
About the problem?
3-they don’t believe we valuetheir inputs & ideas

56. •Listening
•Empathetic
•Ask them
All Receptive Skills

57. Reasons get them difficult
4-they are afraid that If WE WIN, They Lose

58. •Problem Solving
•Taking the “active” role
by mixing their ideas with
yours
4-they are afraid that If WE WIN, They Lose

59. 4-they are afraid that If WE WIN, They Lose
3-they don’t believe we valuetheir inputs & ideas
2-They are afraid we don’t understand the seriousnessof their problem
1-They have a need to tellus something

60. •Listening
•Empathetic
•Ask them
•Problem Solving
LEAP Model

61. …………...……BUT………….………
…………...……And………….………

62. Reasons get them difficult
5-they are afraid that we will blame or criticize them

63. •You stupid idiot RULE
•Speak in a way that don’t put them on the defensive position
5-they are afraid that we will blame or criticize them

64. •Problem Solving
•Listening
•Empathetic
•Ask them
•Speak “not Blame”
LEAPS Model

65. Controlling OUR Behaviors
65

66. 1. Forgive:
•Ask yourself, “What is it about this situation or
person that I can seek to understand and forgive?”
2. Wait it Out
•Wait until you’ve cooled off before responding, if you choose to respond at all.

67. 3. “Does it really matter if I am right?:
If you find yourself arguing for the sake of being
right, ask “Does it matter if I am right?”
•If yes, then ask “Why do I need to be right?
What will I gain?”

68. 4. Don’t Respond:
Many times when a person initiates a negative message or difficult attitude, they are trying to trigger a response from you. When we react, we are actually giving them what they want.

69. 5. Stop talking about it:
The more we talk about how much we dislike a
person, the more hate we will feel towards them and the more we’ll notice things about them that we dislike.

70. 6. Look for the lesson:
No situation is ever lost if we can take away from it some lessons that will help us grow and become a better person.
7. Choose to Eliminate the People in your Life:
Negative people can be a source of energy drain. Cut them out by avoiding interactions with them as much as possible.

71. Funny Conflict

72. Summary
•Introduction.
•What is an Difficult Behavior?
•Types of Difficult People.
•How to Deal with Difficult People?
•Tips to make Life Easier.

73. Thank YOU