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Difficult Conversations
This document provides guidance on having difficult conversations effectively and respectfully. It emphasizes getting clear on the key issues and one's own perspective, considering the other person's viewpoint, and focusing on understanding each other and resolving conflicts together through open-ended questions, active listening, and validating each other's perspectives rather than blaming. The goal is to have a respectful discussion and work toward an mutually agreeable outcome.
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Difficult Conversations
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- 2. Leadership is exhibited through CONVERSATIONS I havebeen avoiding this for a long time. I don’t think she’ll ever change. What if he gets mad? I have to resolve this. GET CLEAR ON YOU
- 3. 3 What is theissue? Why is it bothering you? What are your assumptions? What emotions are present? What is your purpose? What is the ideal outcome? What will happen? CONSIDER
- 4. Don’t blurt, converse I havea list of problems to discuss with you. Let’s go. Develop your skills Visualize your outcome
- 5. Make it Safe Showrespect Listen sincerely Thank you for meeting with me today. Be sincere. Be real. open and engaged
- 6. questions ASK OPEN-ENDED Tell me more… Idon’t fully understand… So, what I hear you saying is… I understand it’s difficult for you …
- 7. Yes, AND Validate Understand Express Listen your pointof view to the other’s point of viewRESOLVE TOGETHER
- 8. You’re right. I hadn’treally thought of it like that. What are you telling yourself? He won’t want to talk to me. I won’t be able to explain what I want. RECOGNIZE FOCUS on OUTCOME RESPECT
- 9. I believe… I saw… I’mconcerned that… I understand it’s difficult for you …
- 10. I’m sorry I madesuch a big deal out of something so unimportant. It was thoughtless for me to assume you didn’t care. Take for AVOID BLAME responsibility your actions be aware and open
- 11. POWER DIFFERENTIALS have the difficult conversation when the needarises Don’t let situations festerPractice and develop your skill I can do this. It’ll be OK.
- 12. You’re not seeing mypoint. What do you have to say about this? May I offer you a different perspective? I’d like to hear your thinking on this. Everyone says you dominate every conversation you’re in. I’ve noticed that some people stop talking when you are in the conversation. You seem quite adamant. This sounds really important to you. A better way This video features the song “Si Tu Savais” by Arsen, available under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike license Human Resources
Editor's Notes
- #2 Everyone experiences the need to have an awkward, uncomfortable or difficult conversation at some time. Nothing can these make these situations go away but we do have some control over how we prepare for and have these conversations. In this video we’ll present some simple, proven techniques to make having difficult conversations less stressful and more effective.
- #4 Sometimes you may have to have a difficult conversation “in the moment” but if at all possible spend even a few minutes considering the following points:What is the issue?Why is it bothering you? What gets you hooked about this conversation, person or issue?What are your assumptions about what’s going on?What emotions are attached to the situation?What is your purpose in having the conversation?What is the ideal outcome?What will happen if you have the conversation? What will happen if you don’t?
- #5 Once you are in touch with the issue and the desired outcome, you’re ready to get in to the conversation. But don’t just jump in and lay everything on the table. Here are some guidelines to develop a set of skills that are sure to make even the most difficult conversation go a little better.