The document discusses different types of difficult people and strategies for dealing with them. It identifies bullies, dozers, firehoses, stallers, silent types, indecisives, snipers, control freaks, and super-agreeables as common difficult personalities. Some tips for dealing with these personalities include preparing yourself, focusing on solutions, not allowing interruptions, taking action independently, surfacing concerns, and building trust. The overall message is on maintaining composure, focusing on the issues not the person, and using communication skills effectively when handling conflict with difficult individuals.

1. Dealing with Difficult People

2. Difficult People & Conflict • Can be anyone – even YOU! • People are difficult because it works for them. • Dealing with them can cause conflict

3. Difficult People & Conflict • Conflict can result in an uncomfortable environment • Difficult behavior causes stress in others • Conflict can reduce an organizations effectiveness

4. Types of Difficult People Bulldozer Bullies Firehose Stallers/Wafflers Silent Types Indecisives Sniper Control Freak Super-Agreeables It’s Not Up To Me

5. The Bulldozer • Know it all • Often use threats, sarcasm, intimidation

6. Dealing with Dozers Prepare yourself • Ask questions • Focus on solution • Do not confront them

7. Bullies • Loud and hostile • Abusive • Overwhelm you

8. Battling Bullies • Let them run down • Get their attention • State your point non-aggressively • Don’t allow interruptions • Ask them to leave

9. Mr or Mrs Negativity • Dampen Enthusiasm • Everything will fail • Negative statements • Constantly complaining

10. Drain the Fire Hose • Don’t be dragged down • Don’t argue • Listen – then ask for alternatives • Don’t agree or apologize • Switch to problem solving • Take action on your own

11. Stallers • Reluctant to turn down requests • Want to be liked • Afraid or unable to manage • Paralyzed by tough decisions

12. Sideline the Stallers • Surface hidden concerns • Help them resolve the problem • You make the decision – with caution • Support decisions • Keep control of situation

13. Silent Types • Silent/unresponsive • Answer with a grunt • Turn away from people • Pretend nothing happened

14. Open the Silent Ones • Meet with them individually • Give them time to open up • Ask open-ended questions • Wait for a response • If no comments – comment on what’s happening

15. Indecisives • Super helpful – but . . . • Postpone decisions • Hint and beat around the bush

16. Resolve Indecision • Address fears with “what if” questions • Help resolve problems when issues surface • Help examine facts • Watch for anger or withdrawal

17. Sniper • Exclude key people • Withhold information • Use hidden attacks, innuendoes, digs, non-playful teasing • Wreck havoc and you don’t see them

18. Unload the Sniper • Surface the attack • Provide peaceful alternative • Bring resistance into the open • Seek group confirmation or denial of snipers criticism • Use coaching/counseling if assigned tasks not done

19. Control Freak • Get into everyone’s business • Undermine and insult abilities • Lack confidence & trust • Insufferable – render subordinates ineffective

20. Reduce Controllers Build trust • Take small steps toward more authority • Keep focused on solution • Speak from your own view-point • Don’t let yourself be verbally abused

21. Super-Agreeables • Very personable • Don’t act the way they say they will • Supportive but don’t deliver

22. Dealing with Super-Agreeables • Show them you like them • Prevent unrealistic commitments • Make honesty non-threatening • Point out inconsistencies in behavior • Work for a mutual benefit • Listen carefully to jokes

23. Its Not Up to Me Always point to higher authority • Invokes other powers

24. Let’s Ask the Authority Tell them you will both speak to the higher authority

25. Helpful Hints • Don’t escalate • Focus on what a person is trying to say • Avoid being purposefully hurtful • Model behavior you want • Focus on solutions • Maintain eye contact

26. More Helpful Hints • Blame the process, not the person • Be specific • Avoid always and never • Avoid name calling • Encourage listening • Confront in private – praise in public • Use your communication skills!

27. Resources 14 Workplace Personalities and How to Handle Them – iVillage, http://www.ivillage.com/work/job/succeed/articles/0,,187833_245505, 00.html • Online Newsletter, Dealing with Difficult People, March 1999, http://www.itstime.com/print/mar99p.htm • Techniques for Dealing with Difficult People, Ag Decision Maker, John Baker, Iowa State University, Iowa Extension, October 1999 • Dealing with Difficult People, http://www.bethanyhome.org/dealing_with_difficult_people.htm • Dealing with Difficult People/Situations: Role of the Extension Committee Member, University of Minnesota Extension Service • Dealing with Difficult Members, University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, http://www.uwec.edu/DC/AP/complexthoughts/Dealing_w_Difficult_Mb rs.html • Games People Play, Presentation to BVHRMA, May 1, 2003, Jan Pfannstiel, SPHR • Welch, Ben D., Phd, Interpersonal Relations Skills, Presentation at TAMU and Dealing with Difficult People, presentation June 19, 1998

28. Thank You for Listening