The document discusses anger management and controlling anger. It begins by explaining that anger stems from unfulfilled desires and causes people to lose control. It then outlines three stages of anger: thought, speech, and action. It provides strategies for each stage, such as using deep breathing and affirmations to manage anger at the thought and speech stages. For the action stage, it recommends distancing oneself from the anger trigger and engaging in calming activities like taking a walk or cold shower. The document stresses the importance of anger management for personal well-being and harmonious relationships.

1. ANGER ManAgeMenT
D.V. Madhusudan Rao
Dept. MBA,
School of Graduate Studies,
Jigjiga University, ETHIOPIA

2. Introduction
• Anger is actually a manifestation of a selfish, unfulfilled
desire. Almost all the time, its presence is felt only by
the havoc it causes, like a hurricane that becomes
visible to the naked eye only when it destroys
everything in its path. Anger is a violent outburst of
emotion stemming from the frustration of the
individual.
• Anger is rooted in fear - a state of helplessness, real or
imaginated. Before we can control anger, and thereby
reap its benefits, we should understand the origin of
anger. Since it is a manifestation of unappeased
passion, or a strong desire non-gratified, we must go
back to the very beginning of the formation of a desire.
Madhusudan Rao D.V.5/21/2013 2

3. Contd..
• A study of the anatomy of a thought is required if we are to
understand the logical evolution of anger. Deep and intense
desire is the very beginning of any activity. When a person
constantly dwells on a thought, without his or her knowledge an
attachment is developed. Attachment always causes a person to
possess and enjoy the object of attachment. When that desire
cannot be fulfilled there arises anger - a state of mind in which
the person loses complete control of his mental faculty to
discriminate. An angry person loses his memory in which is
stored all the past experiences and knowledge necessary for
logical thinking and proper human behavior. Thus, when the
power of discrimination (which is the ability to differentiate right
from wrong) is lost, that individuals who are consumed buy
extreme anger behaving in an illogical way, and when resorting
to violence in their interaction with others.
Madhusudan Rao D.V.5/21/2013 3

4. Contd…
• We are all the victims of anger at one time or the
other. Indeed, management of anger will ensure
peace of mind and harmony not only for the angry
person, but for others around him. Anger gives
rise to some evil vices. They are:
1. Injustice
2. Persecution
3. Jealousy
4. Murder
5. Cruelty
6. Physical abuse
7. Verbal abuse
8. Rash behavior.
Madhusudan Rao D.V.5/21/2013 4

5. HOW TO MANAGE YOUR ANGER
• Logically it follows that if you control your
passion, you can get a handle on your anger.
Anger starts with a minor irritation and it can
grow into an obsession that disease the mind.
• Anger can be corrected with behavioral
modification.
Madhusudan Rao D.V.5/21/2013 5

6. STAGES OF ANGER
There are three stages in the development of Anger in a
person:
1. Thought stage
2. Speech stage
3. Action stage
A man of perfection is one who will nip the anger in its
bud itself; he will not even entertain angry thoughts. He
will neutralize them by various thought-management
techniques. After constant practice, there may not be even
traces of anger left in such a human being.
Madhusudan Rao D.V.5/21/2013 6

7. 1. THOUGHT STAGE
• This is the best stage for any anger to be controlled. It is like
the beginning of the formation of hurricane in the Atlantic
Ocean. If certain atmospheric conditions are present the
hurricane could turn out to be a devastating one capable of
inflicting untold damage on its victims. Similarly, if we do not
check the progressive formation of anger at the thought stage,
it could develop into anger in its final stage of wrath.
• Anger at the thought stage is like a thief. If you give it a stern
look, it will flee from the backyard of your mind. You can
employ any of the thought-management techniques described
earlier to remove the traces of anger from the realm of thought.
More important, be aware of when you are getting angry, and
this awareness alone can remove traces of anger.
Madhusudan Rao D.V.5/21/2013 7

8. 2. SPEECH STAGE
• If you are unable to control anger at the thought stage, you should do so
before it enters the speech stage. You know that thoughts have already been
formed and you can not undo them. Anger then threatens to enter the speech
stage. Probably one of the worst pollutants in the world today is our
speech, whereby our mental atmosphere is polluted with the venom of verbal
abuse. A conscious effort to clean up one’s vocabulary is more important
than cleaning up the ocean after an oil spill.
• Silence is the best remedy to control anger before it reaches the speech stage.
Do not utter a word if thoughts of anger dominate your mind. A word uttered
cannot be taken back; it will ring in someone’s ears for a lifetime.
• We must be constantly watching the conditions of our mind like a
meteorologist watching the atmosphere for early detection of dangerous
formations in the air. Once you are in control of your mental atmosphere, you
will be keenly aware of every change taking place in the realm of the mind.
When thoughts of anger arise in you, you are there to flush them out before
they can develop into threatening emotions. In the beginning, until you
become familiar with anger management, you must have a ready plan to
tackle anger.
Madhusudan Rao D.V.5/21/2013 8

9. STEPS IN ANGER MANAGEMENT -
SPEECH STAGE
1. Observe complete silence.
2. Drink a glass of cold water to induce calmness.
3. Repeat the following affirmations:
a. I am calm and cannot be provoked.
b. I forgive you (to whom ever is causing anger
in you directly of indirectly).
c. Anger is a stage of helplessness. I am not
helpless as God helps me always.
d. Sit down, close your eyes, and take five deep
breaths (belly breathing).
Madhusudan Rao D.V.5/21/2013 9

10. 3. ACTION STAGE
• When your anger has crossed the speech stage, it is in a dangerous zone.
It is probably going to take violent proportions unless checked.
• It is a good idea even in modern times to have a designated room to enter
when anger has crossed over to the speech stage. The following rooms
could be used for that purpose:
1. Bed room - Enter the room and lie down even if you cannot sleep. No
violence will erupt from you if you are lying down.
2. Prayer room - Wash your face with cold water and enter the prayer
room. Close your eyes and try to enter into a meditative stage. Even if
you cannot meditate, the vibrations in the prayer room will help you get
out of the energy mood.
3. Take a walk - You can even leave your house (do not drive, of course)
and breathe some fresh air. It can change your mental state and help
you out of your rage.
4. Take a shower - Another effective method is to take a shower in cold or
semi-cold water.
5. Change of scenery - Under any circumstances, you must get away from
the person who caused the anger in the first place. This will avoid any
untoward or violent actions toward that person.
Madhusudan Rao D.V.5/21/2013 10

11. DON’TS FOR AN ANGRY PERSON
An angry person must prepare himself beforehand to avoid the following
actions:
1. Never enter into a shouting match with the person who caused your
anger.
2. Stay at least five feet away from that person.
3. Never keep anything in your hands that could harm that person.
4. Always have a designated person (your spouse, son, daughter, friend, or
co-worker) to watch you over and drive you home if necessary.
5. Never drive when you are angry. Wait at least a couple of hours before
driving. Within this time the emotions that ran high will start to recede.
6. Do not do anything that will enhance your anger, such as watching
violent movies or T. V. shows.
7. Advise your family members beforehand if they truly love you to keep
quiet when you are angry.
8. Do not dwell on your past angers and their consequences, no matter
what they were.
Madhusudan Rao D.V.5/21/2013 11

12. References
• American Psychological Association: Psychology Topics
www.apa.org/topics/controlanger.html
• Dr. Weisinger’s Anger Workout Book: Step-by-Step Methods
for Greater Productivity, Better Relationships, and Healthier
Life
• Lifewatch Employee Assistance Program www.lifewatch-eap.com
• The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook -By Edmund J. Bourne, PhD
Madhusudan Rao D.V.5/21/2013 12