Tips on how to be a better listener.

1. Basic Counselling
Skills
For Busy School Staff

2. Aims of Session
 What is (and maybe what isn’t)
counselling?
 To understand the importance of school
staff using counselling skills
 Core counselling skills - verbal and non
verbal
 Demonstrate counselling skills

3. What is Counselling?

4. What is Counselling
Counselling enables people to discuss their
problems and any difficult feelings they
encounter in a safe, confidential
environment.
People share and reflect on thoughts,
feelings and behaviour, gain insights and
perspective and ultimately find their own
solutions.

5. Why is it Important for School
Staff to use Counselling Skills?

6. Why it is important for School staff to use
Counselling Skills
Student feels : Heard
Respected
Not Judged
Valued and Accepted
Enables : Students to share more easily
Builds a trusting relationship
Student receives appropriate help and
support
Validation and acceptance of feelings
Understand their behaviours
Improves : Communication
Empathy ‘skills’ for both parties
Staff’s understanding of underlying
causes of students’ behaviour
Students asking for help earlier
Self awareness of students and staff

7. What are the Core Skills of
Counselling?

8. The Core Skills of Counselling
 Listening – Verbal and non verbal, use your senses
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with
the intent to reply” Stephen R Covey
 Showing Empathy - Step into their shoes and see through
their eyes
 Being Non judgemental – Suspend your own values and
beliefs and respect the other
 Being Genuine and real – Helps to strengthen the
relationship

9. How we use Counselling Skills?
ACTIVE LISTENING is focussing on what is being said and not
said, NOT on what you need to say or do
 YOUR Non Verbal Listening: Sit/stand squarely
Open posture
Lean forward slightly
Eye contact
Relax
 Notice THEIR non verbal cues – body language,
expressions, hesitations
 Use MINIMAL ENCOURAGERS – yes, OK, I see, uh-huh,
mmmm, nodding while listening, smiling
 Listen for the MEANING below their story
 Listen for what is NOT BEING SAID, SILENCES and TONE

10.  Questions: ask mostly open questions, only when
necessary to encourage and deepen your
understanding… what, who, describe
 Reflect feelings: …. Sounds like you feel
angry….hurt…overwhelmed (say a few words
summing up the feeling during a pause)
 Rephrase: …..Use your own words to rephrase
content and feeling, offer back tentatively….. I’m
hearing you say….Am I right that…so what you’re
saying is….
 Summarising: after a longer conversation, briefly
and clearly describe the main points, drawing
everything together

11. Activity
 Form triads: speaker, listener, observer
 You can use the skills sheet
 Choose a safe subject but one which is causing
you some concern
 Content is to remain confidential
 5 minutes speaking, 2/3 minutes feedback to the
listener from speaker and observer
 Feedback – observer: what you saw and heard –
speaker: what you felt – listener: anything you
were aware of

12. Questions
Feedback sheets
Advice/support – email me or
call me

13. Active Listening
 Body language – open posture, maintain eye contact, be relaxed
 Minimal encouragers – ‘I see… OK…Yes…mmm’, nodding, slight smile
 Reflect feelings – ‘sounds like you feel… you felt….I can see you are angry’
 Rephrase – use your own words to offer back what you have heard both
content and feeling, ‘am I right that… so what you’re saying is…’
 Question – preferably open questions ‘what, how, describe’ to aid
understanding for speaker and listener
 Summarise – wrap up the main points clearly at the end of a longer
conversation
 Listen for the meaning beneath the story, use all your senses
 Be aware of their body language, expressions, hesitations
 Listen for what is not being said and their tone, notice silences