This document discusses key concepts in interpersonal communication including empathy, self-disclosure, communication climate, acceptance, conflict resolution strategies like nonviolent communication, and assertive versus passive and aggressive behaviors. It provides definitions and examples of these concepts to improve understanding of effective interpersonal interactions. The document is intended as a guide to developing strong interpersonal skills for situations like interviews, group discussions, and presentations.

1. Interpersonal
Communications
Communications
Robert Farrell

2. Contents
 Empathy.
 Dual Perspective.
 Communication Climate.
 Self-Disclosure.
 Acceptance & Non-Acceptance.
 Conflict.
 Nonviolent Communication
 Behavior.

3. Introduction
 Interpersonal communication is part of
everyday life in work, with friends, buying
goods.
 Coupled with non verbal communication it
is a big part of your assessment:
 Interview.
 Group discussion.
 Presentation Q&A.

4. Empathy
 Consider other persons situation.
 “Put yourself in their shows”.
 Get others to empathise with you.
 Build closer bonds.
 Helps conflict resolution.
 Done emotionally & verbally.
 “You must be over the moon”.
 “I can see you are upset”.
 “Imagine if it happened to you”.

5. Dual Perspective
 We must consider both our situation and
other peoples.
 Part of negotiation, discussion & W-W
outcomes.
 React mutually beneficial outcomes.

6. Communication Climate
 It is our general mood/emotional state at the
time of communication.
 What will happen if I disagree with you when
you are:
 Happy?
 Angry?
 Tired?
 Stressed

7. Communication Climate
 We can feel nervous, tense, stressed, excited, happy
etc.
 We can respond neutral, ignorance, anger,
acceptance etc.
 If you hit deadlock:
 Use Empathy.
 Show the person their own emotion.
 Show how both need resolution.
 Offer suggestions & solutions.
 Be assertive & not aggressive.

8. Communication Climate
Unhealthy responses: Healthy responses:
•Judgmental. •Non-judgemental.
•Disrespectful. •Respectful.
•Controlling. •Collaborative.
•Ignorant. •Recognise others.
•Exclude people. •Inclusive.

9. Self-Disclosure
“Revealing personal information about ourselves that others
are unlikely to discover on their own”
Wood, 2000, p 194.
 Used to develop trust & reciprocation.
 Requires preexisting relationship & trust.
 Negotiation: Ask for it if not reciprocated.
 Form of cooperation.
 Take courage and effort.
 Can be embarrassed or ashamed.
 Learned from childhood.

10. Self-Disclosure
 Different levels from basic to intimate.
 Basic: Small talk acts as ice-breaker at interviews.
 Certain types are inappropriate to situations:
 Personal vs professional.
 Tip: Share how to:
 Study,
 Overcome work-life balance,
 Write reports or research.

11. Activity
 What are the benefits/risks of self
disclosure?
 Are certain topics taboo to disclose in
certain situations?

12. Acceptance & Non-Acceptance
 We all want to be accepted or fit in.
 Maslow hierarchy of needs.
 Modern (Social), historic (Survival).
 Excommunication.
 Don’t want to feel ignored or not valued.
 Can damage our confidence.
 Group discussion:
 Respect & appreciate others input.
 Allow other input, don’t be overly critical.
 Encourage silent members to input.

13. Acceptance & Non-Acceptance

14. Activity
Which responses are better to use:
 I think you could work harder.
 Your lazy.
 We should discuss this further.
 Its pointless, we’re getting nowhere.
 That idea failed 2 years ago, could we adapt it now.
 That’s always been a bad idea.
 Your assignment was crap.
 Your report would be better if you included more references.
 We’re not doing it, end of discussion.
 That date is very soon, how could we make it happen by then.

15. Acceptance & Non-Acceptance
Acceptance:
Non-Acceptance:
Forms:
•Recognition. Communicated by:
•Acknowledgement.
•Approval •Not communicating acceptance.
•Disregard.
Communicated by: •Verbal:
•Eye contact, •“Im having difficulty with it”---
•Handshake, •“Ok, where is my pen”
•Smile,
•“Don’t be stupid, its easy”.
•Nodding.
•“That doesn't matter”.
•“I know what you mean”.

16. Non-Acceptance
Forms: Communicated by:
•Recognition. •Eye contact,
•Handshake,
•Acknowledgement. •Smile,
•Nodding.
•Approval •“I know what you mean”.

17. Conflict
 Result of different Interests, Priorities, Views etc.
 Basic in human nature.
 Cons:
 Damages relationships.
 Bad working environment. (Video)
 Pros: (Video)
 Must be managed well.
 Devils advocate & chairperson/facilitator.
 Divergent thinking: new ideas.
 New solutions to new problems.
 Overcomes Group think & status quo bias.
 Challenger space shuttle O rings.

18. Conflict
Overt Conflict:
 Openly expression of disagreement.
QuickTime™ and a
decompressor
 Calmly or quietly. are needed to see this picture.
 “I don’t completely agree with that point”
 Load & Aggressive.
 “That’s completely wrong!”
 It is generally positive to air conflict: In the Right way.

19. Covert Conflict:
Conflict
 Express conflict indirectly.
 Passive aggression.
 Not helping others. QuickTime™ and a
decompressor
 Withholding resources/information. are needed to see this picture.
 Silent resentment.
 Generally unhealthy.
 Does not address problem or create resolution.
 Can erupt later.
 Causes stress to person holding it in.
 Why we do it:
 It can be uncomfortable to express disagreement.
 Conflict aversion.

20. Conflict
We we respond as we do
A Survey of Empirical Studies of Conflict. Easterbrook, S.
M. (ed) 1993 CSCW: Cooperation or Conflict? London:
Springer-Verlag, pp. 1-68.
http://www.cs.toronto.edu/~sme/papers/1993/csrp227.pdf

21. Conflict
Responding to Conflict:
 Active:
 Do something about it. Correct response depends
on situation.
 Passive:
 Do nothing. Sometime the best
response is to end a relationship
 It can build. or “Face face”.
 Constructive:
 Preserve & maintain relationship.
 Destructive:
 Break the relationship.

22. Activity
When is each response advisable?
 Active
 Passive
 Constructive
 Destructive

23. Conflict
4 Specific conflict responses
 Exit:
 Leave the conversation mentally or stop listening..
 Active & Destructive.
 Neglect:
 Ignore the problem: “There is nothing wrong”.
 Passive & Destructive.
 Loyalty:
 Allow other person to solve it unopposed.
 Passive & Constructive.
 Voice:
 Discuss the problem, propose solutions.
 Active & Constructive.

24. Activity
4 Specific conflict responses
 Do you think any are correct or incorrect to use.
 Think of a situation when they would be the right style to
use?

25. Nonviolent Communication
 Developed by American psychologist, Dr Marshal Rosenberg.
 Steps:
 Observe the situation/conflict.
 Express you feeling.
 Say what you need to happen to solve conflict.
 Request help in solving the problem/conflict.
 Must practice, listening, respect etc.

26. Nonviolent Communication
 What we say is NOT always what we mean.
 Example:
 I have not seen you clean you room in 2 weeks.
 You are lazy.
 I have not seen you buy a round of drinks for us.
 You are mean.
 He missed the last 3 report deadlines. Why are they
 He is so disorganised. acting this way?

27. Activity
Which statement is better to use?
 You’re intimidating me.
 I feel intimidated when you do that.
 You’re doing my head in.
 I get frustrated when you do that.
 You’re always so demanding.
 I am finding it hard to cope with these demands.

28. Behavior
Aggressive Behavior:
 Forces your needs over another persons.
 W-L outcome.
 Obstacle to Pie expansion.
 Not listening to their point of view.
 Ignorant & Arrogant.
 Damages current & future relationship.

29. Behavior
Passive behavior:
 Sacrificing own needs to another’s.
 Apologetic, lacks initiative.
 Non-assertive.
 W-L outcome.
 Damages relationship & pie expansion.
 Damages self confidence.
 Self fulfilling prophecy.

30. Behavior
Assertive behavior:
 Positive way to express ideas, needs, feelings.
 Treat self & other with equal importance.
 W-W.
 Supports pie expansion.
 Supports relationship building.
 Shows confidence & self worth.
 Limits risk of being exploited.

31. Activity
A co worker/student is always asking you to get him/her
coffee but never gets you one back. Until now you have
gotten coffee for him/her.
One day you are busy with work.
1. Write a brief response for each type:
 Aggressive.
 Passive.
 Assertive.
2. How do you think he/she perceives each response?

32. Chapter Review
1. Give a brief explanation of Empathy & Dual perspective.
2. What is communication climate?
3. What are the advantages/disadvantages of self disclosure?
4. Give 3 examples of accepting/non-accepting communication.
5. List advantages/disadvantages of conflict.
6. Outline 4 responses to conflict.
7. What are the 4 components of nonviolent communication?
8. What is a passive/aggressive/assertive response?

33. Summary
 Empathy.
 Dual Perspective.
 Communication Climate.
 Self-Disclosure.
 Acceptance & Non-Acceptance.
 Conflict.
 Nonviolent Communication
 Behavior.