This document outlines Shandelier Boyd Smith's interpersonal communication project for Liberty University. The project aims to become more aware of internal thought processes that lead to negative conflict and stress. The document defines interpersonal communication, identifies barriers to effective communication, and provides a plan to address those barriers through mindful listening, managing distractions, and strengthening self-awareness.

1. INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION PROJECT
Shandelier Boyd Smith
Liberty University
HSER 508
Spring 2012

2. INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
OUTLINE
 Introduction
 Define interpersonal communication
 Identification of an overarching goal
(OAG)
 Definition of enlarging the
conversation
 Description of how my background
and behavioral blend influence
conversation (positively and
negatively)
 Defining potential barriers in my
interpersonal context
 How am I going to deal with each of
my potential barriers
 Identify and provide solutions to nose
pollution both internal and external
 Plan of action for my overarching goal 2

3. WHAT IS INTERPERSONAL
COMMUNICATION?
 The type or kind of communication that happens when
the people involved talk and listen in ways that
maximize the presence of the personal
(Stewart, 2012, p. 36).
 Note: When communication emphasizes the persons
involved rather than just their roles or stereotypical
characteristics, interpersonal communication is
happening. In other words when communicators give
and receive or talk and listen in ways that emphasize
their uniqueness, unmeasureability, responsiveness,
reflectiveness, and addressability then the
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communication between them is interpersonal.

4. OVERARCHING MASTER GOAL
It is difficult to understand others until we learn
to listen effectively to ourselves
(Burley- Allen, 1995, p.82).
My overarching goal is to become more aware of
my internal thought process which result in
negative conflict, feelings of frustration, stress
and unworthy of what God has for me.
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5. ENLARGING MY CONVERSATION
 There’s a direct link between the quality of your
communication and the quality of your life
(Stewart, 2009, p. 6).
 Mindful listening requires you to see, hear, and feel with your
whole being (Stewart, 2009, p. 187).
 Empathetic listening requires three skill sets: focusing,
encouraging and reflecting (Stewart, 2009, 193).
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6. ENLARGING MY CONVERSATION CONT.
 According to Petersen (2007) our stomachs expand with overload of
mixed emotions
 They press the heart into bricks in our chest, sending our relating
abilities south.
 The upward expansion flattens our brains, forcing our thinking,
hearing and seeing off kilter.
 When our brains are flat, we can’t hear, see, think or act sensibly.
 This causes our systems to get out of whack which affects how we
communicate.
(Petersen, 2007, p.23)
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7. Positive Influences
 Adjust well
BACKGROUND  Family values
 African – American  Family support
 Female  Wisdom
 Two-parent/working household  Intelligent
 Youngest of five children
 Educated /1st in family
 Independent
 Soft-spoken Negative Influences
 Determined  Discrimination
 Strong-willed  Not a team player
 Go-getter  Too risky
 All over the place goal-wise
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8. BEHAVIORAL BLEND
 Specific personality pattern of the way I think, act and feel.
According to Carbonell (2008), the model of human behavior
are four basic types of temperament known as the Four
Temperament Model of Human Behavior/ Four
“DISC” Personality Types.
D – active/task-oriented I – active/people-oriented
S- passive/people-oriented C-passive/task-oriented
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9. BEHAVIORAL BLEND CONT.
My personality type is determined by two perspectives
(1) my guarded behavior/ what’s expected of me and
(2) the more casual and open part of me/ this is me.
The Uniquely You assessment identified my
behavioral blend as,
“This is expected of me!” I
“This is me!” C/I/S

10. DESCRIPTION OF BEHAVIORAL BLEND
“This is expected of me!” - I “This is me!” - C/I/S
 Inspiring  Passive
 Influencing  Outgoing/ Reserved
 Humorous  Life of the party
 Open  Like to interact with people
 Short-sighted vision  I prefer peace and harmony
 Interested in people  I enjoy organized environments
 Inducing  Flexible
 Standing out in a crowd  Need to be more decisive and
(Carbonell, 2008, p. 25 – 27) direct
 (Carbonell, 2008, p. 191)
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11. POSITIVE BEHAVIORAL BLEND INFLUENCES
 I tend to take the friendly & compliant perspective
 Strong personal skills
 Very warm on an individual basis
 Usually do what I am told
 I don’t like coloring outside the lines or cutting corners
 I enjoy open conversations and detailed discussions
(Carbonell, 2008, p. 191 – 193)
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12. NEGATIVE BEHAVIORAL BLEND INFLUENCES
 Overuse my analytical skills
 Lack of being commanding or demanding
 I think too much or too long about solving a problem
 I tend to be too quiet & humble that no one knows I am present
 Struggle with those who want immediate action or answers
 I turn people off with my opinions
(Carbonell, 2008, p. 194 - 195
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13. POTENTIAL BARRIERS
 Difficult or challenging conversations (Stewart, 2009, p. 95)
 Finding my sense of entitlement to speak up
 (Stewart, 2009, p. 222)
 Negative self-talk (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 99)
 Disclosing myself to others (Stewart, 2012, p. 211)
 Fatigue (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 64 – 65)
 Rescuing others (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 113,
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14. BARRIER SOLUTIONS
 Think clearly and honestly about who I am, by strengthening
my foundation
 Recognize what matters most
 Change negative statement to a positive
 Be more willing to share myself with others
 Listen at level 2 or make notes (Burley- Allen, 1995, p. 65)
 Become aware of “OK” attitudes (Burley-Allen, 1995, p. 37) 14

15. NOISE POLLUTION
Factors that influence us to be distracted from
listening effectively at level 1 (Burley- Allen,
1995).
Two types of noise pollution
1) Internal Noise
2) External Noise

16. NOISE POLLUTION CONT.
Internal Noise Solutions
 Hearing what you want to  Not allowing past experiences
hear dictate how I listen
 Biased Listening  Patience
 Emotional Listening  Positive
 Fatigue  Process information better
(Burley- Allen, 1995) (Burley-Allen, 1995)
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17. NOISE POLLUTION CONTINUED
External Noise Solutions
 Loud traffic noises  Find a peaceful place inside
 Views of outside activity or  Go to a place where there are
scenery less distractions
 Doing two or three things at  Focus on one thing at a time
one time  Ask for understanding and
 Talker speaking too rapidly clarity
(Burley-Allen, 1995)
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18. PLAN OF ACTION
 Take a vacation from classes so I can reflect on
what I’ve learned from this course!
 Listen with intent.
 Paraphrase for clarity
 Focus more on the other person
18  Respect what others say is important to them
 Manage time better

19. PLAN OF ACTION CONT.
 Acquiring a humble spirit
 Stand up for myself
 Improve my indecisiveness
 Begin to demand what’s rightfully mine
 Work on managing conflict
 Try not to be so intense
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20. CONCLUSION…
 It’s easy to overlook oneself and point the finger at others. My
main objective is to do a lot of soul searching, praying, fasting,
whatever it takes to rid myself of the things that will hinder me
from being effective to the Kingdom of God.
 I never imagined that this class would provoke me to dig
deep within me to uncover some of those ugly things that I
knew was there, but never knew how to approach. This
course left me no other choice.
 Thank you!
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21. REFERENCES
 Burley-Allen, M. (1995). Listening: The forgotten skill: A self-teaching
guide. (2nd ed.). New York: John Wiley & Sons
 Carbonell, M. (2008). How to solve the people puzzle: Understanding
personality patterns. Blue Ridge, GA: Uniquely You Resources.
 Carbonell, M. (2005). Uniquely You. Retrieved June 27, 2011 from
Uniquely You. https://www.uniquelyyou.com
 Peterson, J.C. (2007). Why don’t we listen better? Communicating and
connecting in relationships. Tigard, OR: Peterson Publications.
 Stewart, J. (2012). Bridges not walls: A book about interpersonal
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communication. (11th ed.). Boston: McGraw Hill