Life scripts - Transactional analysis - Manu Melwin JoyManu Melwin Joy
The theory of script was developed by Eric Berne and his Co-workers, notably Claude Steiner, in the mid 1960’s.
The concept of script has grown in importance as a part of TA theory, until now it ranks with the ego state model as a central idea of TA.
Transactional Analysis is one of the most accessible theories of modern psychology. Transactional Analysis was founded by Eric Berne, and the famous 'parent adult child' theory is still being developed today.
Life positions are basic beliefs about self and others, which are used to justify decisions and behavior. Life position, which was originally described by Eric Berne (1962/1976) in an article entitled "Classification of Positions."
Why do so many relationships end up in breakups, separation, and/or divorce? Why is it that in many situations when we love our partner, they don't love us; and when they love us, we don't love them? Why is it that every relationship promises to be different, but it ends up being very similar to the old relationships? Why do we repeat our patterns – like a broken record?
Life scripts - Transactional analysis - Manu Melwin JoyManu Melwin Joy
The theory of script was developed by Eric Berne and his Co-workers, notably Claude Steiner, in the mid 1960’s.
The concept of script has grown in importance as a part of TA theory, until now it ranks with the ego state model as a central idea of TA.
Transactional Analysis is one of the most accessible theories of modern psychology. Transactional Analysis was founded by Eric Berne, and the famous 'parent adult child' theory is still being developed today.
Life positions are basic beliefs about self and others, which are used to justify decisions and behavior. Life position, which was originally described by Eric Berne (1962/1976) in an article entitled "Classification of Positions."
Why do so many relationships end up in breakups, separation, and/or divorce? Why is it that in many situations when we love our partner, they don't love us; and when they love us, we don't love them? Why is it that every relationship promises to be different, but it ends up being very similar to the old relationships? Why do we repeat our patterns – like a broken record?
In this presentation I will discuss: Why do many relationships that we form resemble the previous ones and fail? Why do we repeat our past like a broken record? Can we scape our fate? Why are we afraid to open our hearts to love, or be fully ourselves? Why do we keep busy and run around all the time so as not to feel?
Young children and animals are open to feelings of joy, and are known to literally jump for joy, but it is rare to see a mature or older person feel and act that way. In this presentation, I explore how we can regain our natural ability to feel joy and be joyful, as well as what are the impediments to feeling of joy.
I'm OK, You're OK, by Thomas A Harris MD, is one of the best selling self-help books ever published. It is a practical guide to Transactional Analysis as a method for solving problems in life. From its first publication during 1967, the popularity of I'm OK, You're OK gradually increased until, during 1972, its name made the New York Times Best Seller list and remained there for almost two years. It is estimated by the publisher to have sold over 15 million copies to date and to have been translated into over a dozen languages
The character structure is the totality of the mechanical, automatic and unconscious ways of reacting, by which the individual maintained his or her psycho-physical balance; a balance that makes sure that the feelings, emotions and bodily impulses which for various reasons have been blocked, remain separated from the consciousness of the individual. The character structure also functions as a defensive armor. This armor has a bodily side in the form of chronic muscular tensions, where the repressed material is hidden. In this presentation I will discuss different character types and their physical dynamics (patterns of muscular holdings/tensions).
Berne suggested that the young child, early in the process of script formation already has certain convictions about himself and the people around him. These convictions are likely to stay with him the rest of his life.
Transational Analysis, Scope,Types,Applications, limitations and criticism, U...Sarath Thomas
Transational Analysis, Scope,Types,Applications, limitations and criticism, Usages in a very simple and Lucid language . One basic approach to study interpersonal relations in an organisational system is transactional analysis.
This analysis deals with understanding, predicting and controlling interpersonal relationships.
In this PPT we are going to talk about Transactional Analysis which comes under the subject of Organisational Behaviour.
So, if you're a student of BBA/MBA or B.com/M.com this PPT will surely gonna help you out.
In this PPT we are gonna talk about Life Positions we face in our lives in and outside any Organisation. This topic also comes under the subject of Organizational Behaviour.
Racket analysis - Transactional Analysis - Manu Melwin JoyManu Melwin Joy
Any time your experience a racket feeling, you are in script.
As children, we use racket feeling to get our needs met in families.
We attempt to manipulate the environment so as to gain the parental support we gained in childhood by experiencing and showing these racket feelings.
In this presentation I describe true masculinity and distinguish it from hypo and hyper-masculinity. I provide historical as well as psychological data to prove my assertions.
In this presentation I will discuss: Why do many relationships that we form resemble the previous ones and fail? Why do we repeat our past like a broken record? Can we scape our fate? Why are we afraid to open our hearts to love, or be fully ourselves? Why do we keep busy and run around all the time so as not to feel?
Young children and animals are open to feelings of joy, and are known to literally jump for joy, but it is rare to see a mature or older person feel and act that way. In this presentation, I explore how we can regain our natural ability to feel joy and be joyful, as well as what are the impediments to feeling of joy.
I'm OK, You're OK, by Thomas A Harris MD, is one of the best selling self-help books ever published. It is a practical guide to Transactional Analysis as a method for solving problems in life. From its first publication during 1967, the popularity of I'm OK, You're OK gradually increased until, during 1972, its name made the New York Times Best Seller list and remained there for almost two years. It is estimated by the publisher to have sold over 15 million copies to date and to have been translated into over a dozen languages
The character structure is the totality of the mechanical, automatic and unconscious ways of reacting, by which the individual maintained his or her psycho-physical balance; a balance that makes sure that the feelings, emotions and bodily impulses which for various reasons have been blocked, remain separated from the consciousness of the individual. The character structure also functions as a defensive armor. This armor has a bodily side in the form of chronic muscular tensions, where the repressed material is hidden. In this presentation I will discuss different character types and their physical dynamics (patterns of muscular holdings/tensions).
Berne suggested that the young child, early in the process of script formation already has certain convictions about himself and the people around him. These convictions are likely to stay with him the rest of his life.
Transational Analysis, Scope,Types,Applications, limitations and criticism, U...Sarath Thomas
Transational Analysis, Scope,Types,Applications, limitations and criticism, Usages in a very simple and Lucid language . One basic approach to study interpersonal relations in an organisational system is transactional analysis.
This analysis deals with understanding, predicting and controlling interpersonal relationships.
In this PPT we are going to talk about Transactional Analysis which comes under the subject of Organisational Behaviour.
So, if you're a student of BBA/MBA or B.com/M.com this PPT will surely gonna help you out.
In this PPT we are gonna talk about Life Positions we face in our lives in and outside any Organisation. This topic also comes under the subject of Organizational Behaviour.
Racket analysis - Transactional Analysis - Manu Melwin JoyManu Melwin Joy
Any time your experience a racket feeling, you are in script.
As children, we use racket feeling to get our needs met in families.
We attempt to manipulate the environment so as to gain the parental support we gained in childhood by experiencing and showing these racket feelings.
In this presentation I describe true masculinity and distinguish it from hypo and hyper-masculinity. I provide historical as well as psychological data to prove my assertions.
Pride World City Notting Hill Brochure - Zricks.comPoonam Rani
For more information about http://www.zricks.com/Pride-World-City-Notting-Hill-Charholi-Budruk-Pune/14504
Pride World City Notting Hill, Charholi Budruk, Dhanori Lohegaon Road, Pune
The character structure is the totality of the mechanical, automatic and unconscious ways of reacting, by which the individual maintained his or her psycho-physical balance; a balance that makes sure that the feelings, emotions and bodily impulses which for various reasons have been blocked, remain separated from the consciousness of the individual. The character structure also functions as a defensive armor. This armor has a bodily side in the form of chronic muscular tensions, where the repressed material is hidden. In this presentation I will discuss different character types and their physical dynamics (patterns of muscular holdings/tensions).
In this presentation I discuss fear of intimacy. We will also take part in a few exercises that point to giving and receiving love. The exercises will be very experiential and we will discuss them afterward.
Presentation on the book "Born to Win" - Muriel James & Dorothy Jongeward
the presentation starts with the concepts of winner & losers, explain various concepts of TA. The focus is to make an individual "A Winner"
(1) From an external orientation to an internal orientation
(2) Deconstruction of the false beliefs and stories we hold
(3) Feel to heal
(4) Accept our humanness
(5) Integrate our shadows (the parts we disowned)
(6) Be supported by relationships
And a list of day-to-day things we may want to do more of and less of to live a better life!
Positive Thoughts How To Be Positive And Happy Every MomentEasy Life Journey
Positive thoughts can dramatically change every action, situation, consequence, feeling, and how we live day by day.
This universe is made up of energy, and so are we, and so is everything.
When we send out negative energy, then we are surrounded by negative forces and energy.
And the opposite is also true to positivity.
We will show you why positive thoughts is not a force to be reckon with and why you must start thinking positively in every single moment of your life.
Here are 4 top reasons why positive thoughts should be incorporated into your life.
You will enjoy life more
Is healthy and can cure illness, diseases, and practically anything
Radiate positive energy and good vibes
Can have an impact on your career and reaching your dreams
FOR THE ORIGINAL WORK/ARTICLE visit here > https://easylifejourney.com/be-positive-and-happy/
Please support the original creator by visiting their website www.easylifejourney.com
My stories and writings in this book aim to accomplish a few things:
Understanding the theory behind loneliness to better understand yourself Understanding the feelings associated with loneliness
Developing a healthy feeling of love to help you overcome problems
Practical steps to break the lonely cycle
Replace the feeling of loneliness with healthy thoughts
Click the link to see more advise.
An Open Invitation To Life, Love And True Companionship! Everyone in the world has felt this emotion one time or another. Especially in these times rapid technological growth the feeling of loneliness is rapidly increasing.
Loneliness is an emotional state where people experience a disconnection from others as well as a deep feeling of emptiness, which renders their present company around them meaningless. Here's a quick and easy guide to tackling this problem and is a must read for all.
Lecture for happiness matters symposium 25 4-2016Chantel Botha
This presentation will take you through a theoretical understanding of the work of Eric Berne around transactional analysis and how this understanding can transform you interactions in the workplace as well as your personal life.
The developmental model discussed in this presentation is the chronic traumatic experience of a child during his various developmental stages. A system theoretic model is discussed, as well as physical dynamics of character structure. All 5 character types are also discussed which are based on a bioenergetic model.
Types of trauma are discussed, also discussed are the nature of traumatic memories from a neuroscience-based microscopic view as well as a macroscopic view. Details of neuronal firings and spikes as well as action potentials are discussed. Everything is finally tied together to provide ways of treating trauma.
In this presentation I introduce the concept of narcissism from a developmental as well as a cultural point of view. I also tie the concept to postmodernity and discuss why narcissism is so prevalent in our culture. I will discuss what may lay ahead as well as other psychological disturbances are concerned.
In this presentation I discuss the formation of character structure and have participants to exercises that will help them understand the experience of different characters.
In this presentation I discuss pleasure from biological and psychological point of views, and how it is rooted in the body. I also present exercises to feel pleasure in the body.
Recomendações da OMS sobre cuidados maternos e neonatais para uma experiência pós-natal positiva.
Em consonância com os ODS – Objetivos do Desenvolvimento Sustentável e a Estratégia Global para a Saúde das Mulheres, Crianças e Adolescentes, e aplicando uma abordagem baseada nos direitos humanos, os esforços de cuidados pós-natais devem expandir-se para além da cobertura e da simples sobrevivência, de modo a incluir cuidados de qualidade.
Estas diretrizes visam melhorar a qualidade dos cuidados pós-natais essenciais e de rotina prestados às mulheres e aos recém-nascidos, com o objetivo final de melhorar a saúde e o bem-estar materno e neonatal.
Uma “experiência pós-natal positiva” é um resultado importante para todas as mulheres que dão à luz e para os seus recém-nascidos, estabelecendo as bases para a melhoria da saúde e do bem-estar a curto e longo prazo. Uma experiência pós-natal positiva é definida como aquela em que as mulheres, pessoas que gestam, os recém-nascidos, os casais, os pais, os cuidadores e as famílias recebem informação consistente, garantia e apoio de profissionais de saúde motivados; e onde um sistema de saúde flexível e com recursos reconheça as necessidades das mulheres e dos bebês e respeite o seu contexto cultural.
Estas diretrizes consolidadas apresentam algumas recomendações novas e já bem fundamentadas sobre cuidados pós-natais de rotina para mulheres e neonatos que recebem cuidados no pós-parto em unidades de saúde ou na comunidade, independentemente dos recursos disponíveis.
É fornecido um conjunto abrangente de recomendações para cuidados durante o período puerperal, com ênfase nos cuidados essenciais que todas as mulheres e recém-nascidos devem receber, e com a devida atenção à qualidade dos cuidados; isto é, a entrega e a experiência do cuidado recebido. Estas diretrizes atualizam e ampliam as recomendações da OMS de 2014 sobre cuidados pós-natais da mãe e do recém-nascido e complementam as atuais diretrizes da OMS sobre a gestão de complicações pós-natais.
O estabelecimento da amamentação e o manejo das principais intercorrências é contemplada.
Recomendamos muito.
Vamos discutir essas recomendações no nosso curso de pós-graduação em Aleitamento no Instituto Ciclos.
Esta publicação só está disponível em inglês até o momento.
Prof. Marcus Renato de Carvalho
www.agostodourado.com
The prostate is an exocrine gland of the male mammalian reproductive system
It is a walnut-sized gland that forms part of the male reproductive system and is located in front of the rectum and just below the urinary bladder
Function is to store and secrete a clear, slightly alkaline fluid that constitutes 10-30% of the volume of the seminal fluid that along with the spermatozoa, constitutes semen
A healthy human prostate measures (4cm-vertical, by 3cm-horizontal, 2cm ant-post ).
It surrounds the urethra just below the urinary bladder. It has anterior, median, posterior and two lateral lobes
It’s work is regulated by androgens which are responsible for male sex characteristics
Generalised disease of the prostate due to hormonal derangement which leads to non malignant enlargement of the gland (increase in the number of epithelial cells and stromal tissue)to cause compression of the urethra leading to symptoms (LUTS
Ozempic: Preoperative Management of Patients on GLP-1 Receptor Agonists Saeid Safari
Preoperative Management of Patients on GLP-1 Receptor Agonists like Ozempic and Semiglutide
ASA GUIDELINE
NYSORA Guideline
2 Case Reports of Gastric Ultrasound
- Video recording of this lecture in English language: https://youtu.be/lK81BzxMqdo
- Video recording of this lecture in Arabic language: https://youtu.be/Ve4P0COk9OI
- Link to download the book free: https://nephrotube.blogspot.com/p/nephrotube-nephrology-books.html
- Link to NephroTube website: www.NephroTube.com
- Link to NephroTube social media accounts: https://nephrotube.blogspot.com/p/join-nephrotube-on-social-media.html
Lung Cancer: Artificial Intelligence, Synergetics, Complex System Analysis, S...Oleg Kshivets
RESULTS: Overall life span (LS) was 2252.1±1742.5 days and cumulative 5-year survival (5YS) reached 73.2%, 10 years – 64.8%, 20 years – 42.5%. 513 LCP lived more than 5 years (LS=3124.6±1525.6 days), 148 LCP – more than 10 years (LS=5054.4±1504.1 days).199 LCP died because of LC (LS=562.7±374.5 days). 5YS of LCP after bi/lobectomies was significantly superior in comparison with LCP after pneumonectomies (78.1% vs.63.7%, P=0.00001 by log-rank test). AT significantly improved 5YS (66.3% vs. 34.8%) (P=0.00000 by log-rank test) only for LCP with N1-2. Cox modeling displayed that 5YS of LCP significantly depended on: phase transition (PT) early-invasive LC in terms of synergetics, PT N0—N12, cell ratio factors (ratio between cancer cells- CC and blood cells subpopulations), G1-3, histology, glucose, AT, blood cell circuit, prothrombin index, heparin tolerance, recalcification time (P=0.000-0.038). Neural networks, genetic algorithm selection and bootstrap simulation revealed relationships between 5YS and PT early-invasive LC (rank=1), PT N0—N12 (rank=2), thrombocytes/CC (3), erythrocytes/CC (4), eosinophils/CC (5), healthy cells/CC (6), lymphocytes/CC (7), segmented neutrophils/CC (8), stick neutrophils/CC (9), monocytes/CC (10); leucocytes/CC (11). Correct prediction of 5YS was 100% by neural networks computing (area under ROC curve=1.0; error=0.0).
CONCLUSIONS: 5YS of LCP after radical procedures significantly depended on: 1) PT early-invasive cancer; 2) PT N0--N12; 3) cell ratio factors; 4) blood cell circuit; 5) biochemical factors; 6) hemostasis system; 7) AT; 8) LC characteristics; 9) LC cell dynamics; 10) surgery type: lobectomy/pneumonectomy; 11) anthropometric data. Optimal diagnosis and treatment strategies for LC are: 1) screening and early detection of LC; 2) availability of experienced thoracic surgeons because of complexity of radical procedures; 3) aggressive en block surgery and adequate lymph node dissection for completeness; 4) precise prediction; 5) adjuvant chemoimmunoradiotherapy for LCP with unfavorable prognosis.
Ethanol (CH3CH2OH), or beverage alcohol, is a two-carbon alcohol
that is rapidly distributed in the body and brain. Ethanol alters many
neurochemical systems and has rewarding and addictive properties. It
is the oldest recreational drug and likely contributes to more morbidity,
mortality, and public health costs than all illicit drugs combined. The
5th edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
(DSM-5) integrates alcohol abuse and alcohol dependence into a single
disorder called alcohol use disorder (AUD), with mild, moderate,
and severe subclassifications (American Psychiatric Association, 2013).
In the DSM-5, all types of substance abuse and dependence have been
combined into a single substance use disorder (SUD) on a continuum
from mild to severe. A diagnosis of AUD requires that at least two of
the 11 DSM-5 behaviors be present within a 12-month period (mild
AUD: 2–3 criteria; moderate AUD: 4–5 criteria; severe AUD: 6–11 criteria).
The four main behavioral effects of AUD are impaired control over
drinking, negative social consequences, risky use, and altered physiological
effects (tolerance, withdrawal). This chapter presents an overview
of the prevalence and harmful consequences of AUD in the U.S.,
the systemic nature of the disease, neurocircuitry and stages of AUD,
comorbidities, fetal alcohol spectrum disorders, genetic risk factors, and
pharmacotherapies for AUD.
Tom Selleck Health: A Comprehensive Look at the Iconic Actor’s Wellness Journeygreendigital
Tom Selleck, an enduring figure in Hollywood. has captivated audiences for decades with his rugged charm, iconic moustache. and memorable roles in television and film. From his breakout role as Thomas Magnum in Magnum P.I. to his current portrayal of Frank Reagan in Blue Bloods. Selleck's career has spanned over 50 years. But beyond his professional achievements. fans have often been curious about Tom Selleck Health. especially as he has aged in the public eye.
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Introduction
Many have been interested in Tom Selleck health. not only because of his enduring presence on screen but also because of the challenges. and lifestyle choices he has faced and made over the years. This article delves into the various aspects of Tom Selleck health. exploring his fitness regimen, diet, mental health. and the challenges he has encountered as he ages. We'll look at how he maintains his well-being. the health issues he has faced, and his approach to ageing .
Early Life and Career
Childhood and Athletic Beginnings
Tom Selleck was born on January 29, 1945, in Detroit, Michigan, and grew up in Sherman Oaks, California. From an early age, he was involved in sports, particularly basketball. which played a significant role in his physical development. His athletic pursuits continued into college. where he attended the University of Southern California (USC) on a basketball scholarship. This early involvement in sports laid a strong foundation for his physical health and disciplined lifestyle.
Transition to Acting
Selleck's transition from an athlete to an actor came with its physical demands. His first significant role in "Magnum P.I." required him to perform various stunts and maintain a fit appearance. This role, which he played from 1980 to 1988. necessitated a rigorous fitness routine to meet the show's demands. setting the stage for his long-term commitment to health and wellness.
Fitness Regimen
Workout Routine
Tom Selleck health and fitness regimen has evolved. adapting to his changing roles and age. During his "Magnum, P.I." days. Selleck's workouts were intense and focused on building and maintaining muscle mass. His routine included weightlifting, cardiovascular exercises. and specific training for the stunts he performed on the show.
Selleck adjusted his fitness routine as he aged to suit his body's needs. Today, his workouts focus on maintaining flexibility, strength, and cardiovascular health. He incorporates low-impact exercises such as swimming, walking, and light weightlifting. This balanced approach helps him stay fit without putting undue strain on his joints and muscles.
Importance of Flexibility and Mobility
In recent years, Selleck has emphasized the importance of flexibility and mobility in his fitness regimen. Understanding the natural decline in muscle mass and joint flexibility with age. he includes stretching and yoga in his routine. These practices help prevent injuries, improve posture, and maintain mobilit
New Drug Discovery and Development .....NEHA GUPTA
The "New Drug Discovery and Development" process involves the identification, design, testing, and manufacturing of novel pharmaceutical compounds with the aim of introducing new and improved treatments for various medical conditions. This comprehensive endeavor encompasses various stages, including target identification, preclinical studies, clinical trials, regulatory approval, and post-market surveillance. It involves multidisciplinary collaboration among scientists, researchers, clinicians, regulatory experts, and pharmaceutical companies to bring innovative therapies to market and address unmet medical needs.
1. Healthy Relationships – To Love and Be Loved
Homayoun Shahri, Ph.D., M.A., LMFT
Homayoun.shahri@ravonkavi.com
http://www.ravonkavi.com
2. Through the Eyes of an Angel (Miten with Deva Premal)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPNmIBaZVfM)
3. Relationships
● Why do so many relationships end up in breakups,
separation, and/or divorce?
● Why is it that in many situations when we love our partner,
they don't love us; and when they love us, we don't love
them?
● Why is it that every relationship promises to be different,
but it ends up being very similar to the old relationships?
● Why do we repeat our patterns – like a broken record?
4. Neurochemistry of Love
● Testosterone and Estrogen – Primary sex hormones.
● Adrenalin – A hormone that is released in the body of a
person who is feeling a strong emotion (such as
excitement, fear, or anger) and that causes the heart to
beat faster and gives the person more energy.
● Dopamine – The dopamine system is strongly associated with
the reward system of the brain. Dopamine is released in areas
such as the nucleus accumbens and prefrontal cortex as a
result of experiencing natural rewards such as food, sex, and
neutral stimuli that become associated with them.
5. Neurochemistry of Love (Continued)
● Serotonin. One of love's most important chemicals that may
explain why when you’re falling in love, your new lover
keeps popping into your thoughts.
● Oxytocin – Oxytocin (The cuddle hormone) is a
neurotransmitter in mammals. Oxytocin is normally produced in
the hypothalamus and stored in the posterior pituitary gland. It is
the hormone of Love!
● Vasopressin – Vasopressin is another important hormone in the
long-term commitment stage and is released after sex.
● Oxytocin and Vasopressin are attachment and bonding
hormones.
6. Neuroscience of Love
● When a person falls in love, at least 12 areas of the brain work in
tandem to release euphoria-inducing chemicals such as dopamine,
oxytocin, adrenaline and vasopression. The love feeling also affects
sophisticated cognitive functions, such as mental representation,
metaphors and body image
● Other researchers also found blood levels of nerve growth factor, or
NGF, also increased. Those levels were significantly higher in couples
who had just fallen in love. This molecule involved plays an important
role in the social chemistry of humans.
● You can just be a loving person for your brain/body to function this
way, albeit to a lesser extent!
7. The Recognition (Irving Feldman)
Not the god, though it might have been,
savoring some notion of me
and exciting the cloud where he was hidden
with impetuous thunderstorms of summoning
– it was merely you who recognized me,
speaking my name in such a tone
I know you had been thinking it
a long, long time, and now revealed yourself
in this way. Because of this, suddenly
who I was was precious to me.
8. Winnicott on Mother – Baby Gaze
“The mother gazes at the baby in her arms, and the baby gazes
at his mother’s face and finds himself therein . . . provided that
the mother is really looking at the unique, small, helpless being
and not projecting her own expectations, fears and plans for the
child. [Otherwise] In that case, the child would find not himself in
his mother’s face, but rather the mother’s own projections. This
child would remain without a mirror, and for the rest of his life
would be seeking this mirror in vain.”
10. Mirror Neurons and Vagus Nerve
● Mirror Neurons
– A mirror neuron is a neuron that fires
both when an animal acts and when
the animal observes the same action
performed by another
● Vagus Nerve
– Tenth Cranial nerve responsible for
mammalian social engagement and
freeze response, and many other
functions, such heart regulation, etc.
11. Exercise 1
● Find a partner, decide who is partner 1, and who is 2
● Two of you should find an empty spot in the room
● Partner 1, please observe your partner (posture, eyes,
energy – held together, on, up, in, or back), and see if you
can feel what your partner is feeling and what it is that they
want in life, and how they experience life
● Switch roles
● Discuss what you felt
12. An Object Relational View
● Object Permanency
– Child (Infant) must experience predictable presence of
primary care taker to feel safe and protected
● Object Constancy (Ability to integrate good and bad aspects of
object)
– Child (Infant) must experience unconditional love,
acceptance, empathy, and nonjudgmental presence of
primary care taker to feel that he is worthy of love, he is
worth it, he is good, and he is OK
– He then believes there is benevolence (goodness) in the
world, and people are generally good
13. An Object Relational View (Continued)
Infant splits the object toward whom both love and hate were directed, in two.
The good object (idealized) representation is important and is necessary to go on
in life. The bad (frustrating, repressing) object is further split into two, namely
the repressive object, and the exciting object. Ego identifies with the repressive
object (anti-libidinal self), and keeps the original object seeking drive in check.
Ego also identifies with the exciting object (libidinal self) and seeks exciting
objects in the world.
It is the idealized object that many seek initially in their relationships
(infatuation stage), which is soon replaced by power struggle (acting out of anti-
libidinal self). Some are lucky enough to transcend the power struggle stage and
enter the “co-creativity” stage.
14. Drive, Expression, and Repression
1. Unitary drive seeking expression
2. Environmental negativity
3. Drive seeking alternative expression
4. Part of drive energy seeking excitement
5. Part of drive energy repressing original expression
19. Exercise 2
● Find a partner and decide who is 1 and who is 2
● Partner 1 – First reach toward frustrating parent (partner 2) and say: “I
need you.” In this statement you are saying: “I need you to see me, love
me, affirm me, know me, I am your child and cannot help but need you.”
● Feel your reaction as you make this statement and let your partner in on
how as a child you stopped this needing in your body and what you said
to yourself around this. You have done this many times. Your partner will
reflect on this until you feel s/he had gotten it.
● Switch roles
● (Courtesy of Dr Robert Hilton)
20. Knots (R. D. Laing)
Once upon a time, when Jack was
little, he wanted to be with his
mummy all the time and was fright
ened she would go away
later, when he was a little bigger, he
wanted to be away from his mummy
and was frightened that she wanted
him to be with her all the time
when he grew up he fell in love with
Jill and he wanted to be with her all
the time and was frightened she
would go away
when he was a little older,
he did not want to be with Jill all the
time he was frightened that she
wanted to be with him all the time, and
that she was frightened that he did
not want to be with her all the time
Jack frightens Jill he will leave her
because he is frightened she will
leave him.
21. A Model Based on Transactional Analysis
● Transactional Analysis
– Theory in psychology that examines the interactions, or
"transactions", between a person and other people. The
underlying hypothesis is that humans are social
creatures and that a person is a multifaceted being that
changes when in contact with another person in their
world.
22. Four Life Positions
● I'm OK and you are OK. This is the healthiest position about life and it means that I
feel good about myself and that I feel good about others and their competence.
● I'm OK and you are not OK. In this position I feel good about myself but I see
others as damaged or less than and it is usually not healthy.
● I'm not OK and you are OK. In this position the person sees him/herself as the
weak partner in relationships as the others in life are definitely better than the self.
The person who holds this position will unconsciously accept abuse as OK.
● I'm not OK and you are not OK. This is the worst position to be in as it means that I
believe that I am in a terrible state and the rest of the world is as bad.
Consequently there is no hope for any ultimate support.
24. Ghosts (Mary Oliver)
Only once, and then in a dream,
I watched while, secretly
and with the tenderness of any caring woman,
a cow gave birth
to a red calf, tongued him dry and nursed him
in a warm corner
of the clear night
in the fragrant grass
in the wild domains
of the prairie spring, and I asked them,
in my dream I knelt down and asked them
to make room for me.
25. Fear of Intimacy
● Love is not only hard to find, but strange as it may seem, it can be even more
difficult to accept and tolerate. Most of us say that we want to find a loving partner,
but many of us have deep-seated fears of intimacy that make it difficult to be in a
close relationship.
● Fear of intimacy begins to develop early in life. As children, when we experience
rejection and/or emotional pain, we often shut down. We learn not to rely on others
as a coping mechanism. After being hurt in our earliest relationships, we fear being
hurt again. We are reluctant to take another chance on being loved.
● If we felt unseen or misunderstood as children, we may have a hard time believing
that someone could really love and value us. Or if we do believe they love us, we
find all kinds of reasons why they are not the “right” person for us.
26. Fear of Intimacy (Continued)
● To love
– It is painful to love someone when they don't love us. This is more familiar
to us, but painful nonetheless. This is about re-experiencing the pain of
deprivation from early contact and holding.
● To be loved
– It is much more painful to be loved – to open ourselves to love, be
vulnerable, and let go of our defenses. This is about re-experiencing the
pain of heartbreak (if we risk going there). Our defense mechanism may
respond with rejection (rejecting the loving object). This is also much
harder to perceive and imagine. There may be a tendency of wanting to
pull back and go away, to feel weired in your body, to feel shame, to
contact in our chest, etc.
27. Exercise 3
● Find a partner and decide who is 1 and who is 2
● Partner 1 places one hand on his/her heart and with the other hand slightly pushes
against the outstretched hand of his/her partner who his other hand on his/her heart.
● Partner 1 says: “This is my heart, my life and you can't have it.”
● Partner 2 says: “I want you to have your life. I only want to be available to you if you
want it.”
● Partner 2 then says: “I don't want you to be alone anymore.”
● Partner 1 pays attention to his feelings and what s/he is experiencing (fear, anxiety,
sadness, love, longing)
● Reverse roles.
Courtesy of Dr Robert Hilton (modified version)
28. Healthy Love
● Erich Fromm
– Infantile love follows the principle: I love because I am loved!
– Mature love follows the principle: I am loved because I love!
– Immature love says: I love you because I need you!
– Mature love says: I need you because I love you!
– Paradoxically, the ability to be alone is the condition for the ability to love
29. Healthy Love (Continued)
● Message to the lover: I love you and you are free to go; it will be
difficult for me and I will be sad. And you must love me else I will go;
it will be difficult for me and I will be sad.
Come, come, whoever you are!
Wanderer, idolater, worshiper of fire,
Come even though you have been broken a hundred times!
Come, and come again,
Ours is not a caravan of despair!
- Rumi
30. Healthy Love – Taking Risks
● Donald Kalsched (Trauma and the Soul):
– The act of loving is a terrible risk for everyone, and especially for
people who have grown up in emotionally impoverished
environments. To really love someone (without symbiotically
attaching to them through identification), is to risk losing them,
precisely because we live in an insecure, unpredictable world in
which death, separation, or abandonment is an ever present reality.
“You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens”
Rumi
31. Vas – Offerings (Leyli – Azam Ali)
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bltffVLFaro)