In this presentation I discuss fear of intimacy. We will also take part in a few exercises that point to giving and receiving love. The exercises will be very experiential and we will discuss them afterward.
How does your personality type affect your communication, leadership and teamwork style? What are your strengths and weaknesses? How does this help you to understand how others react to and engage with you?
Find the test to go with this powerpoint here: https://www.slideshare.net/slideshow/embed_code/key/GOsuR2WdskAwON
If you'd like to hire me to do this with your team, I will also do a series of activities that will be engaging, fun and insightful. I also do leadership and teamwork training for companies, schools, charity organisations and churches.
Contact me here: ruth2v12_@hotmail.com
Why do so many relationships end up in breakups, separation, and/or divorce? Why is it that in many situations when we love our partner, they don't love us; and when they love us, we don't love them? Why is it that every relationship promises to be different, but it ends up being very similar to the old relationships? Why do we repeat our patterns – like a broken record?
How does your personality type affect your communication, leadership and teamwork style? What are your strengths and weaknesses? How does this help you to understand how others react to and engage with you?
Find the test to go with this powerpoint here: https://www.slideshare.net/slideshow/embed_code/key/GOsuR2WdskAwON
If you'd like to hire me to do this with your team, I will also do a series of activities that will be engaging, fun and insightful. I also do leadership and teamwork training for companies, schools, charity organisations and churches.
Contact me here: ruth2v12_@hotmail.com
Why do so many relationships end up in breakups, separation, and/or divorce? Why is it that in many situations when we love our partner, they don't love us; and when they love us, we don't love them? Why is it that every relationship promises to be different, but it ends up being very similar to the old relationships? Why do we repeat our patterns – like a broken record?
My stories and writings in this book aim to accomplish a few things:
Understanding the theory behind loneliness to better understand yourself Understanding the feelings associated with loneliness
Developing a healthy feeling of love to help you overcome problems
Practical steps to break the lonely cycle
Replace the feeling of loneliness with healthy thoughts
Click the link to see more advise.
Loneliness is not an abstract condition that affects only certain kinds of people. The truth is that feelings of loneliness can affect anyone—young, old, and in-between—and at any point in life.
An Open Invitation To Life, Love And True Companionship! Everyone in the world has felt this emotion one time or another. Especially in these times rapid technological growth the feeling of loneliness is rapidly increasing.
Loneliness is an emotional state where people experience a disconnection from others as well as a deep feeling of emptiness, which renders their present company around them meaningless. Here's a quick and easy guide to tackling this problem and is a must read for all.
Love
Love is a powerful emotion that is unlike any other; it is a deep, passionate sensation of affection. There are many different kinds of love, including romantic love and self-love. There are various ways you can work on loving and expressing your love.You must first love yourself before you can love anyone else. Understanding how to love oneself entails recognising and valuing your inner vulnerability. You have several characteristics that make you special. Recognize your strengths and learn to love who you are.
Work hard to improve yourself if you have trouble loving yourself. Accept your history and move forward to improve your self-confidence. You can believe that your past mistakes will make you unlovable or that your troubles prevent you from being loving. Untrue. Go on after accepting what occurred to you and forgiving yourself. Take just as much care of yourself as you do of others.
This may be challenging if you naturally take care of others or if you have kids. Keep in mind that if you are taking good care of yourself, you will be better able to care for others.
Make sure you take care of yourself instead than letting others come before you. Give yourself a massage or a relaxing bath. Every day, do something just for you.Those who are grateful experience better health and are happier. Discover ways to express your gratitude for the people and things in your life, but most of all, for who you are.
Think about the qualities you admire most about yourself. Perhaps you have a lot of compassion, are highly giving, or are a wonderful listener. You might be quick to pick up new abilities. You might be an expert at painting or wiring electricity. Spend a moment expressing gratitude.Find something positive in any situation, no matter how bad it seems at the moment. A optimistic mindset is associated with physical and psychological advantages like decreased rates of suffering and a longer lifespan. When you begin to think negatively, especially about yourself, change such ideas to positive ones.
To change negative ideas into good ones, practise positive self-talk.
fend off ideas about novel circumstances. Instead of thinking, "I'll fumble this; I'm so stupid!" "I feel pleased of myself for putting myself out there and attempting something new," you might say.
Replace the thought "I am such a failure at meeting people" with "I'm eager to pick up new social skills and get to know people who are more like me." I am confident in my ability to make friends.Spending time alone yourself is a crucial component of self-care. Saving time for oneself can be challenging if you share a room or have kids. You can relax, solve difficulties, reset your thoughts, and discover yourself in solitude. Don't feel bad if you need some alone time. By prioritising your happiness and allowing yourself to reset, you may spend time alone and strengthen your connections.
Spend your lunch breaks alone or get up before other people
Dealing with loneliness (An Open Invitation to life, love and true companions...AvneetKumarSingla
This Book is an attempt to remove loneliness in life.
Description
Why I Wrote This Book 5
All Alone! 6
Crowded Yet Isolated 8
Emotional Pain In A Loveless World 9
Love – The Verb, Not The Feeling 10
Learning How To Love 11
The Laws Of Attraction 13
Practical Steps For Dealing With Loneliness 15
Breaking The Destructive Cycle 17
Finding Our Purpose In The Wilderness 19
Life Still Has Meaning 20
In this slide, you will get complete information about what is real love? and you will get complete difference between conditional and unconditional love.
20 Tips to Make Your Relationship Stronger.pdfyoutube
"Today, the effort to preserve the freshness of love has become one of the most important parts of relationships. Traditional relationship-saving efforts, on the other hand, appear with behaviors such as deciding to get married, having children with the thought of bringing excitement to the relationship, and starting to have a pet at home. Psychiatrist Onur Okan Demirci states that healthy relationships are "He offered solutions to make it work and 8 suggestions to keep the love alive."
Couples often complain that they do not receive attention from each other. In order to solve this problem, it may first be necessary to concretize the abstract and quite broad concept of 'interest'. For example; One of the spouses may define interest as their spouse's regular curiosity and search for them when they are not together. The other spouse, who does not know this, buys flowers thinking that interest means buying her flowers, but if this is not included in the person's concept of interest, he will say that his spouse is not interested in him, and the other spouse will respond with 'no, I am interested' because he bought flowers. For this reason, when spouses talk about abstract concepts such as 'interest', 'love', 'passion' to each other, it may be a relationship-saving situation if they concretely define what these mean to themselves.
We are all human and of course we may have points that are sensitive and that we do not want to be touched or criticized. We feel very uncomfortable when other people raise or criticize issues that we are not yet ready to share, confront, or resolve. When spouses respect each other's sensitive points and do not use them as a weapon, they can avoid wearing out their love quickly.Trying to change the other party without respecting their opinions is one of the most common problems experienced by couples. Imagine you have a shopping list. In order to buy the items on the list, you either go to a market that has all the products on the list, or you wait for the products that are not available in a market you go to, of course, if they bring the products you expect!
This is similar in relationships. You either find a relationship that suits your wishes and expectations, or you wait for the other person to change to meet your expectations, or you try to change them. The most dangerous of these is the attempt to change the person you are in a relationship with. This effort may show that you do not respect his/her personality and thoughts, and your partner may decide not to share his/her thoughts with you anymore. For healthy communication and vibrant love, you may consider giving up the effort to change and try to understand your partner.
No matter what you experience in your relationship, develop your ability to look at situations from different perspectives before making a definitive judgment. For example; Your spouse may have met a friend you don't like and you may be having problems because he or she doesn't tell you about it
The developmental model discussed in this presentation is the chronic traumatic experience of a child during his various developmental stages. A system theoretic model is discussed, as well as physical dynamics of character structure. All 5 character types are also discussed which are based on a bioenergetic model.
Types of trauma are discussed, also discussed are the nature of traumatic memories from a neuroscience-based microscopic view as well as a macroscopic view. Details of neuronal firings and spikes as well as action potentials are discussed. Everything is finally tied together to provide ways of treating trauma.
The character structure is the totality of the mechanical, automatic and unconscious ways of reacting, by which the individual maintained his or her psycho-physical balance; a balance that makes sure that the feelings, emotions and bodily impulses which for various reasons have been blocked, remain separated from the consciousness of the individual. The character structure also functions as a defensive armor. This armor has a bodily side in the form of chronic muscular tensions, where the repressed material is hidden. In this presentation I will discuss different character types and their physical dynamics (patterns of muscular holdings/tensions).
Young children and animals are open to feelings of joy, and are known to literally jump for joy, but it is rare to see a mature or older person feel and act that way. In this presentation, I explore how we can regain our natural ability to feel joy and be joyful, as well as what are the impediments to feeling of joy.
In this presentation I describe true masculinity and distinguish it from hypo and hyper-masculinity. I provide historical as well as psychological data to prove my assertions.
In this presentation I will discuss: Why do many relationships that we form resemble the previous ones and fail? Why do we repeat our past like a broken record? Can we scape our fate? Why are we afraid to open our hearts to love, or be fully ourselves? Why do we keep busy and run around all the time so as not to feel?
In this presentation I introduce the concept of narcissism from a developmental as well as a cultural point of view. I also tie the concept to postmodernity and discuss why narcissism is so prevalent in our culture. I will discuss what may lay ahead as well as other psychological disturbances are concerned.
In this presentation I discuss the formation of character structure and have participants to exercises that will help them understand the experience of different characters.
In this presentation I discuss pleasure from biological and psychological point of views, and how it is rooted in the body. I also present exercises to feel pleasure in the body.
The prostate is an exocrine gland of the male mammalian reproductive system
It is a walnut-sized gland that forms part of the male reproductive system and is located in front of the rectum and just below the urinary bladder
Function is to store and secrete a clear, slightly alkaline fluid that constitutes 10-30% of the volume of the seminal fluid that along with the spermatozoa, constitutes semen
A healthy human prostate measures (4cm-vertical, by 3cm-horizontal, 2cm ant-post ).
It surrounds the urethra just below the urinary bladder. It has anterior, median, posterior and two lateral lobes
It’s work is regulated by androgens which are responsible for male sex characteristics
Generalised disease of the prostate due to hormonal derangement which leads to non malignant enlargement of the gland (increase in the number of epithelial cells and stromal tissue)to cause compression of the urethra leading to symptoms (LUTS
Couples presenting to the infertility clinic- Do they really have infertility...Sujoy Dasgupta
Dr Sujoy Dasgupta presented the study on "Couples presenting to the infertility clinic- Do they really have infertility? – The unexplored stories of non-consummation" in the 13th Congress of the Asia Pacific Initiative on Reproduction (ASPIRE 2024) at Manila on 24 May, 2024.
Title: Sense of Taste
Presenter: Dr. Faiza, Assistant Professor of Physiology
Qualifications:
MBBS (Best Graduate, AIMC Lahore)
FCPS Physiology
ICMT, CHPE, DHPE (STMU)
MPH (GC University, Faisalabad)
MBA (Virtual University of Pakistan)
Learning Objectives:
Describe the structure and function of taste buds.
Describe the relationship between the taste threshold and taste index of common substances.
Explain the chemical basis and signal transduction of taste perception for each type of primary taste sensation.
Recognize different abnormalities of taste perception and their causes.
Key Topics:
Significance of Taste Sensation:
Differentiation between pleasant and harmful food
Influence on behavior
Selection of food based on metabolic needs
Receptors of Taste:
Taste buds on the tongue
Influence of sense of smell, texture of food, and pain stimulation (e.g., by pepper)
Primary and Secondary Taste Sensations:
Primary taste sensations: Sweet, Sour, Salty, Bitter, Umami
Chemical basis and signal transduction mechanisms for each taste
Taste Threshold and Index:
Taste threshold values for Sweet (sucrose), Salty (NaCl), Sour (HCl), and Bitter (Quinine)
Taste index relationship: Inversely proportional to taste threshold
Taste Blindness:
Inability to taste certain substances, particularly thiourea compounds
Example: Phenylthiocarbamide
Structure and Function of Taste Buds:
Composition: Epithelial cells, Sustentacular/Supporting cells, Taste cells, Basal cells
Features: Taste pores, Taste hairs/microvilli, and Taste nerve fibers
Location of Taste Buds:
Found in papillae of the tongue (Fungiform, Circumvallate, Foliate)
Also present on the palate, tonsillar pillars, epiglottis, and proximal esophagus
Mechanism of Taste Stimulation:
Interaction of taste substances with receptors on microvilli
Signal transduction pathways for Umami, Sweet, Bitter, Sour, and Salty tastes
Taste Sensitivity and Adaptation:
Decrease in sensitivity with age
Rapid adaptation of taste sensation
Role of Saliva in Taste:
Dissolution of tastants to reach receptors
Washing away the stimulus
Taste Preferences and Aversions:
Mechanisms behind taste preference and aversion
Influence of receptors and neural pathways
Impact of Sensory Nerve Damage:
Degeneration of taste buds if the sensory nerve fiber is cut
Abnormalities of Taste Detection:
Conditions: Ageusia, Hypogeusia, Dysgeusia (parageusia)
Causes: Nerve damage, neurological disorders, infections, poor oral hygiene, adverse drug effects, deficiencies, aging, tobacco use, altered neurotransmitter levels
Neurotransmitters and Taste Threshold:
Effects of serotonin (5-HT) and norepinephrine (NE) on taste sensitivity
Supertasters:
25% of the population with heightened sensitivity to taste, especially bitterness
Increased number of fungiform papillae
NVBDCP.pptx Nation vector borne disease control programSapna Thakur
NVBDCP was launched in 2003-2004 . Vector-Borne Disease: Disease that results from an infection transmitted to humans and other animals by blood-feeding arthropods, such as mosquitoes, ticks, and fleas. Examples of vector-borne diseases include Dengue fever, West Nile Virus, Lyme disease, and malaria.
Title: Sense of Smell
Presenter: Dr. Faiza, Assistant Professor of Physiology
Qualifications:
MBBS (Best Graduate, AIMC Lahore)
FCPS Physiology
ICMT, CHPE, DHPE (STMU)
MPH (GC University, Faisalabad)
MBA (Virtual University of Pakistan)
Learning Objectives:
Describe the primary categories of smells and the concept of odor blindness.
Explain the structure and location of the olfactory membrane and mucosa, including the types and roles of cells involved in olfaction.
Describe the pathway and mechanisms of olfactory signal transmission from the olfactory receptors to the brain.
Illustrate the biochemical cascade triggered by odorant binding to olfactory receptors, including the role of G-proteins and second messengers in generating an action potential.
Identify different types of olfactory disorders such as anosmia, hyposmia, hyperosmia, and dysosmia, including their potential causes.
Key Topics:
Olfactory Genes:
3% of the human genome accounts for olfactory genes.
400 genes for odorant receptors.
Olfactory Membrane:
Located in the superior part of the nasal cavity.
Medially: Folds downward along the superior septum.
Laterally: Folds over the superior turbinate and upper surface of the middle turbinate.
Total surface area: 5-10 square centimeters.
Olfactory Mucosa:
Olfactory Cells: Bipolar nerve cells derived from the CNS (100 million), with 4-25 olfactory cilia per cell.
Sustentacular Cells: Produce mucus and maintain ionic and molecular environment.
Basal Cells: Replace worn-out olfactory cells with an average lifespan of 1-2 months.
Bowman’s Gland: Secretes mucus.
Stimulation of Olfactory Cells:
Odorant dissolves in mucus and attaches to receptors on olfactory cilia.
Involves a cascade effect through G-proteins and second messengers, leading to depolarization and action potential generation in the olfactory nerve.
Quality of a Good Odorant:
Small (3-20 Carbon atoms), volatile, water-soluble, and lipid-soluble.
Facilitated by odorant-binding proteins in mucus.
Membrane Potential and Action Potential:
Resting membrane potential: -55mV.
Action potential frequency in the olfactory nerve increases with odorant strength.
Adaptation Towards the Sense of Smell:
Rapid adaptation within the first second, with further slow adaptation.
Psychological adaptation greater than receptor adaptation, involving feedback inhibition from the central nervous system.
Primary Sensations of Smell:
Camphoraceous, Musky, Floral, Pepperminty, Ethereal, Pungent, Putrid.
Odor Detection Threshold:
Examples: Hydrogen sulfide (0.0005 ppm), Methyl-mercaptan (0.002 ppm).
Some toxic substances are odorless at lethal concentrations.
Characteristics of Smell:
Odor blindness for single substances due to lack of appropriate receptor protein.
Behavioral and emotional influences of smell.
Transmission of Olfactory Signals:
From olfactory cells to glomeruli in the olfactory bulb, involving lateral inhibition.
Primitive, less old, and new olfactory systems with different path
Knee anatomy and clinical tests 2024.pdfvimalpl1234
This includes all relevant anatomy and clinical tests compiled from standard textbooks, Campbell,netter etc..It is comprehensive and best suited for orthopaedicians and orthopaedic residents.
Ethanol (CH3CH2OH), or beverage alcohol, is a two-carbon alcohol
that is rapidly distributed in the body and brain. Ethanol alters many
neurochemical systems and has rewarding and addictive properties. It
is the oldest recreational drug and likely contributes to more morbidity,
mortality, and public health costs than all illicit drugs combined. The
5th edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
(DSM-5) integrates alcohol abuse and alcohol dependence into a single
disorder called alcohol use disorder (AUD), with mild, moderate,
and severe subclassifications (American Psychiatric Association, 2013).
In the DSM-5, all types of substance abuse and dependence have been
combined into a single substance use disorder (SUD) on a continuum
from mild to severe. A diagnosis of AUD requires that at least two of
the 11 DSM-5 behaviors be present within a 12-month period (mild
AUD: 2–3 criteria; moderate AUD: 4–5 criteria; severe AUD: 6–11 criteria).
The four main behavioral effects of AUD are impaired control over
drinking, negative social consequences, risky use, and altered physiological
effects (tolerance, withdrawal). This chapter presents an overview
of the prevalence and harmful consequences of AUD in the U.S.,
the systemic nature of the disease, neurocircuitry and stages of AUD,
comorbidities, fetal alcohol spectrum disorders, genetic risk factors, and
pharmacotherapies for AUD.
New Drug Discovery and Development .....NEHA GUPTA
The "New Drug Discovery and Development" process involves the identification, design, testing, and manufacturing of novel pharmaceutical compounds with the aim of introducing new and improved treatments for various medical conditions. This comprehensive endeavor encompasses various stages, including target identification, preclinical studies, clinical trials, regulatory approval, and post-market surveillance. It involves multidisciplinary collaboration among scientists, researchers, clinicians, regulatory experts, and pharmaceutical companies to bring innovative therapies to market and address unmet medical needs.
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- Video recording of this lecture in English language: https://youtu.be/lK81BzxMqdo
- Video recording of this lecture in Arabic language: https://youtu.be/Ve4P0COk9OI
- Link to download the book free: https://nephrotube.blogspot.com/p/nephrotube-nephrology-books.html
- Link to NephroTube website: www.NephroTube.com
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Pulmonary Thromboembolism - etilogy, types, medical- Surgical and nursing man...VarunMahajani
Disruption of blood supply to lung alveoli due to blockage of one or more pulmonary blood vessels is called as Pulmonary thromboembolism. In this presentation we will discuss its causes, types and its management in depth.
Explore natural remedies for syphilis treatment in Singapore. Discover alternative therapies, herbal remedies, and lifestyle changes that may complement conventional treatments. Learn about holistic approaches to managing syphilis symptoms and supporting overall health.
These lecture slides, by Dr Sidra Arshad, offer a quick overview of physiological basis of a normal electrocardiogram.
Learning objectives:
1. Define an electrocardiogram (ECG) and electrocardiography
2. Describe how dipoles generated by the heart produce the waveforms of the ECG
3. Describe the components of a normal electrocardiogram of a typical bipolar leads (limb II)
4. Differentiate between intervals and segments
5. Enlist some common indications for obtaining an ECG
Study Resources:
1. Chapter 11, Guyton and Hall Textbook of Medical Physiology, 14th edition
2. Chapter 9, Human Physiology - From Cells to Systems, Lauralee Sherwood, 9th edition
3. Chapter 29, Ganong’s Review of Medical Physiology, 26th edition
4. Electrocardiogram, StatPearls - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK549803/
5. ECG in Medical Practice by ABM Abdullah, 4th edition
6. ECG Basics, http://www.nataliescasebook.com/tag/e-c-g-basics
New Directions in Targeted Therapeutic Approaches for Older Adults With Mantl...i3 Health
i3 Health is pleased to make the speaker slides from this activity available for use as a non-accredited self-study or teaching resource.
This slide deck presented by Dr. Kami Maddocks, Professor-Clinical in the Division of Hematology and
Associate Division Director for Ambulatory Operations
The Ohio State University Comprehensive Cancer Center, will provide insight into new directions in targeted therapeutic approaches for older adults with mantle cell lymphoma.
STATEMENT OF NEED
Mantle cell lymphoma (MCL) is a rare, aggressive B-cell non-Hodgkin lymphoma (NHL) accounting for 5% to 7% of all lymphomas. Its prognosis ranges from indolent disease that does not require treatment for years to very aggressive disease, which is associated with poor survival (Silkenstedt et al, 2021). Typically, MCL is diagnosed at advanced stage and in older patients who cannot tolerate intensive therapy (NCCN, 2022). Although recent advances have slightly increased remission rates, recurrence and relapse remain very common, leading to a median overall survival between 3 and 6 years (LLS, 2021). Though there are several effective options, progress is still needed towards establishing an accepted frontline approach for MCL (Castellino et al, 2022). Treatment selection and management of MCL are complicated by the heterogeneity of prognosis, advanced age and comorbidities of patients, and lack of an established standard approach for treatment, making it vital that clinicians be familiar with the latest research and advances in this area. In this activity chaired by Michael Wang, MD, Professor in the Department of Lymphoma & Myeloma at MD Anderson Cancer Center, expert faculty will discuss prognostic factors informing treatment, the promising results of recent trials in new therapeutic approaches, and the implications of treatment resistance in therapeutic selection for MCL.
Target Audience
Hematology/oncology fellows, attending faculty, and other health care professionals involved in the treatment of patients with mantle cell lymphoma (MCL).
Learning Objectives
1.) Identify clinical and biological prognostic factors that can guide treatment decision making for older adults with MCL
2.) Evaluate emerging data on targeted therapeutic approaches for treatment-naive and relapsed/refractory MCL and their applicability to older adults
3.) Assess mechanisms of resistance to targeted therapies for MCL and their implications for treatment selection
micro teaching on communication m.sc nursing.pdfAnurag Sharma
Microteaching is a unique model of practice teaching. It is a viable instrument for the. desired change in the teaching behavior or the behavior potential which, in specified types of real. classroom situations, tends to facilitate the achievement of specified types of objectives.
3. An Object Relational View
● Object Permanency
– Child (Infant) must experience predictable presence of
primary care taker to feel safe and protected
● Object Constancy (Ability to integrate good and bad aspects of
object)
– Child (Infant) must experience unconditional love,
acceptance, empathy, and nonjudgmental presence of
primary care taker to feel that he is worthy of love, he is
worth it, he is good, and he is OK
– He then believes there is benevolence (goodness) in the
world, and people are generally good
4. An Object Relational View (Cont)
Infant splits the object toward whom both love and hate were directed, in two.
The good object (idealized) representation is important and is necessary to go on
in life. The bad (frustrating, repressing) object is further split into two, namely
the repressive object, and the exciting object. Ego identifies with the repressive
object (anti-libidinal self), and keeps the original object seeking drive in check.
Ego also identifies with the exciting object (libidinal self) and seeks exciting
objects in the world.
It is the idealized object that many seek initially in their relationships
(infatuation stage), which is soon replaced by power struggle (acting out of anti-
libidinal self). Some are lucky enough to transcend the power struggle stage and
enter the “co-creativity” stage.
5. Rumi (Last letter to Shams)
Sometimes I wonder, sweetest love, if you
Were a mere dream in along winter night,
A dream of spring-days, and of golden light
Which sheds its rays upon a frozen heart;
A dream of wine that fills the drunken eye.
And so I wonder, sweetest love, if I
Should drink this ruby wine, or rather weep;
Each tear a bezel with your face engraved,
A rosary to memorize your name...
There are so many ways to call you back-
Yes, even if you only were a dream.
6. Exercise 1
● Find a partner and decide who is 1 and who is 2
● Partner 1 – First reach toward frustrating parent (partner 2) and say: “I need you.” In this
statement you are saying: “I need you to see me, love me, affirm me, know me, I am your
child and cannot help but need you.”
● Feel your reaction as you make this statement and let your partner in on how as a child you
stopped this needing in your body and what you said to yourself around this. You have done
this many times. Let you body give you feedback. Your partner will reflect on this until you
feel s/he had gotten it.
● Switch roles
● (Courtesy of Dr Robert Hilton)
“Unexpressed emotions will never die.
They are buried alive and will come
forth later in uglier ways.” S. Freud
7. Exercise 1 (Cont)
● Now partner 1 says to partner 2, “As you can see, the child in me still needs
something from the rejecting parent even though I try to hide it. I want to stop
this cycle. I need this need to come out with you and face it so that I don't go
away disappointed again that I did not get what I have said I don't need. Let
me try it out on you.
●
First make the statement: “I need you.” And then make the demand: “I want
you to like me. I want to feel that I am the best partner you have ever had. I
want to touch your heart and create a response in you that you never had.”
● Feel in your body what happens when say this.
● Before you cut off your feelings, first stiffen up and say: “No I won't let you
see my need”. And then relax your posture and say: “No I won't hold back my
need.” Let this need to be seen and to come through your eyes, breath, and
arms. In other words embody this feeling.
8. Drive, Expression, and Repression
1. Unitary drive seeking expression
2. Environmental negativity
3. Drive seeking alternative expression
4. Part of drive energy seeking excitement
5. Part of drive energy repressing original expression
13. Exercise 2
● Find a partner.
● Tell your partner: I have been with them thus far in this presentation, and I want
this to be a good experience for you. I don't want you to feel alone. I want to
support you in any way I can. And hold out your hands toward your partner
● What do you experience when you see these outstretched hands? Do you want
to push it away, ignore it, or take it but not look at your partner? What is at risk if
you take it, and what if you don't?
● Follow your body's response. What are you feeling about the outstretched
hands? Can you let your partner see your response in your eyes and touch?
How would it be to link up with another person?
● (Courtesy of Dr Robert Hilton)
14. Rumi (Through Love)
THROUGH LOVE all that is bitter will sweet
Through Love all that is copper will be gold.
Through Love all dregs will turn to purest wine
Through Love all pain will turn to medicine.
Through Love the dead will all become alive.
Through Love the king will turn into a slave!
15. Fear of Intimacy
● Love is not only hard to find, but strange as it may seem, it can be even more
difficult to accept and tolerate. Most of us say that we want to find a loving partner,
but many of us have deep-seated fears of intimacy that make it difficult to be in a
close relationship.
● Fear of intimacy begins to develop early in life. As children, when we experience
rejection and/or emotional pain, we often shut down. We learn not to rely on others
as a coping mechanism. After being hurt in our earliest relationships, we fear being
hurt again. We are reluctant to take another chance on being loved.
● If we felt unseen or misunderstood as children, we may have a hard time believing
that someone could really love and value us. Or if we do believe they love us, we
find all kinds of reasons why they are not the “right” person for us.
16. Fear of Intimacy (Continued)
● To love
– It is painful to love someone when they don't love us. This is more familiar
to us, but painful nonetheless. This is about re-experiencing the pain of
deprivation from early contact and holding.
● To be loved
– It is much more painful to be loved – to open ourselves to love, be
vulnerable, and let go of our defenses. This is about re-experiencing the
pain of heartbreak (if we risk going there). Our defense mechanism may
respond with rejection (rejecting the loving object). This is also much
harder to perceive and imagine. There may be a tendency of wanting to
pull back and go away, to feel weired in your body, to feel shame, to
contact in our chest, etc.
17. R.D. Laing (Knots)
My mother loves me.
I feel good.
I feel good because she
loves me.
I am good because I feel
good.
I feel good because I am
good.
My mother loves me
because I am good.
My mother does not love
me.
I feel bad.
I feel bad because she
does not love me.
I am bad because I feel
bad.
I feel bad because I am
bad.
I am bad because she
does not love me.
She does not love me
because I am bad.
18. Exercise 3
● Find a partner and decide who is 1 and who is 2
● Partner 1 places one hand on his/her heart and with the other hand slightly pushes
against the outstretched hand of his/her partner who his other hand on his/her heart.
● Partner 1 says: “This is my heart, my life and you can't have it.”
● Partner 2 says: “I want you to have your life. I only want to be available to you if you
want it.”
● Partner 2 then says: “I don't want you to be alone anymore.”
● Partner 1 pays attention to his feelings and what s/he is experiencing (fear, anxiety,
sadness, love, longing)
● Reverse roles.
Courtesy of Dr Robert Hilton (modified version)
19. Healthy Love – Taking Risks
● Donald Kalsched (Trauma and the Soul):
– The act of loving is a terrible risk for everyone, and especially for
people who have grown up in emotionally impoverished
environments. To really love someone (without symbiotically
attaching to them through identification), is to risk losing them,
precisely because we live in an insecure, unpredictable world in
which death, separation, or abandonment is an ever present reality.
“You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens”
Rumi
20. Rumi
I swear, since seeing Your face,
the whole world is fraud and fantasy
The garden is bewildered as to what is leaf
or blossom. The distracted birds
can't distinguish the birdseed from the snare.
A house of love with no limits,
a presence more beautiful than venus or the moon,
a beauty whose image fills the mirror of the heart.