(1) From an external orientation to an internal orientation
(2) Deconstruction of the false beliefs and stories we hold
(3) Feel to heal
(4) Accept our humanness
(5) Integrate our shadows (the parts we disowned)
(6) Be supported by relationships
And a list of day-to-day things we may want to do more of and less of to live a better life!
This part explains how to maintain healthy intimate relationships based on the principles outlined in the book "The 7 Levels of Intimacy" by Matthew Kelly.
Lecture for happiness matters symposium 25 4-2016Chantel Botha
This presentation will take you through a theoretical understanding of the work of Eric Berne around transactional analysis and how this understanding can transform you interactions in the workplace as well as your personal life.
This presentation introduces basic concepts of intimacy in a relationship. Although the points here can apply to romantic relationships, they also work for friendships as well. Intimacy is defined and explained and points are punctuated with clips from popular movies.
This part explains how to maintain healthy intimate relationships based on the principles outlined in the book "The 7 Levels of Intimacy" by Matthew Kelly.
Lecture for happiness matters symposium 25 4-2016Chantel Botha
This presentation will take you through a theoretical understanding of the work of Eric Berne around transactional analysis and how this understanding can transform you interactions in the workplace as well as your personal life.
This presentation introduces basic concepts of intimacy in a relationship. Although the points here can apply to romantic relationships, they also work for friendships as well. Intimacy is defined and explained and points are punctuated with clips from popular movies.
Naturally, children are extremely perceptive and intuitive creatures. Unbeknownst to many parents, children are highly in tuned with their familial environment and their personal surroundings. They are observing every verbal and nonverbal communication that we are uttering. They are aware of our faults, our limitations, and our weaknesses. They are equally aware of our strengths, resiliency and our personal fortitude.
My stories and writings in this book aim to accomplish a few things:
Understanding the theory behind loneliness to better understand yourself Understanding the feelings associated with loneliness
Developing a healthy feeling of love to help you overcome problems
Practical steps to break the lonely cycle
Replace the feeling of loneliness with healthy thoughts
Click the link to see more advise.
According to scientists, the topic of money is one of the most significant points of conflict in couples. But how are money and love connected, and what influence does one have on the other? How can we talk about money without damaging love? Why does "cold" money destroy a relationship? How does understanding about this delicate subject strengthen the love of couples? Michael Mary provides insights and suggestions on how each couple can recognize the role money plays in their relationship and gives concrete suggestions on how the couple can decide how to deal with it. So that the relationship "rules" over money - and not money over the relationship.
This workshop will engage practitioners, educators, and researchers in exploring regional differences in adolescent romantic relationship characteristics, youth reflections on what they would like from programs including instruction on romantic relationships, and developmental neuroscience principles that can be used to help strengthen the application of relationships content in sexual health programming. Addressing romantic relationships embodies an adolescent development approach that is more holistic than focusing only on preventing sexually transmitted disease or pregnancy. Participants will have an opportunity for practical application by designing innovative strategies that can be incorporated into their programs.
Learn the basics of addiction and how you can help yourself naturally.
This video is not a substitute for healthcare professional advice. please view full disclaimer at www.lifeshareuniversity.com
Naturally, children are extremely perceptive and intuitive creatures. Unbeknownst to many parents, children are highly in tuned with their familial environment and their personal surroundings. They are observing every verbal and nonverbal communication that we are uttering. They are aware of our faults, our limitations, and our weaknesses. They are equally aware of our strengths, resiliency and our personal fortitude.
My stories and writings in this book aim to accomplish a few things:
Understanding the theory behind loneliness to better understand yourself Understanding the feelings associated with loneliness
Developing a healthy feeling of love to help you overcome problems
Practical steps to break the lonely cycle
Replace the feeling of loneliness with healthy thoughts
Click the link to see more advise.
According to scientists, the topic of money is one of the most significant points of conflict in couples. But how are money and love connected, and what influence does one have on the other? How can we talk about money without damaging love? Why does "cold" money destroy a relationship? How does understanding about this delicate subject strengthen the love of couples? Michael Mary provides insights and suggestions on how each couple can recognize the role money plays in their relationship and gives concrete suggestions on how the couple can decide how to deal with it. So that the relationship "rules" over money - and not money over the relationship.
This workshop will engage practitioners, educators, and researchers in exploring regional differences in adolescent romantic relationship characteristics, youth reflections on what they would like from programs including instruction on romantic relationships, and developmental neuroscience principles that can be used to help strengthen the application of relationships content in sexual health programming. Addressing romantic relationships embodies an adolescent development approach that is more holistic than focusing only on preventing sexually transmitted disease or pregnancy. Participants will have an opportunity for practical application by designing innovative strategies that can be incorporated into their programs.
Learn the basics of addiction and how you can help yourself naturally.
This video is not a substitute for healthcare professional advice. please view full disclaimer at www.lifeshareuniversity.com
An Open Invitation To Life, Love And True Companionship! Everyone in the world has felt this emotion one time or another. Especially in these times rapid technological growth the feeling of loneliness is rapidly increasing.
Loneliness is an emotional state where people experience a disconnection from others as well as a deep feeling of emptiness, which renders their present company around them meaningless. Here's a quick and easy guide to tackling this problem and is a must read for all.
Loneliness is not an abstract condition that affects only certain kinds of people. The truth is that feelings of loneliness can affect anyone—young, old, and in-between—and at any point in life.
Most of the time, we are not aware of how we feel.
In other words, we are not consciously aware of our vibration.
We live through our thoughts and are not aware of the sensations in our bodies. Sometimes we think we have great self-esteem but if we really get in touch with the sensations of the body, we could discover a great negative paradigm beneath it.
This negative paradigm is often related to the “five poisons in Buddhism”.
If you could get aware of the poisons that are related to you, you could change your negative paradigm into a positive one.
In order to achieve this, you have to become familiar with yourself.
One of the best and fastest ways to do this is through meditation.
If you want to know more about meditation, visit the following link:
https://bit.ly/3POwtro
There is no greater joy than gradually dicovering who you are. This document hopes to help people break out of their shells and start the journey of self discovery.
Inner Awakening - Soul Conditioning
Reengineering Ourselves
The choices we make in life, as well as the opportunities that we missed have a profound impact on our happiness and well being. Our life is full of regrets about our actions and in actions affecting our behavior. Understanding that regret is a product of our behavior, has direct impact on how we make decisions.
In psychology, we categorise human needs into six basic needs. The fundamental of human motivation is guided by the six basic human needs. These needs are always around us and closely influence our daily activities regardless what we do and where we go. Sometimes, we could control our needs but it would appear again as short as five minutes. Human needs shape our attitudes, behaviour and our decision daily. Seems scary? No, by understanding the six basic of human needs, you can satisfy our own needs with millions of ways for you to achieve ultimate authentic happiness.
Similar to 6 Key Practices to Unlock a Better Life (20)
1. We each have so much personal power to change our lives.
Unfortunately, we don't get taught how.
In the next six pages, I'll share with you the six key practices that will
unlock the better life that we all wish to be living.
Imagine if you no longer needed everything to go your way to feel
satisfied. If you no longer needed others to be a certain way to feel
fulfilled or loved. If you no longer needed the world to be in order for
you to feel inner peace. If you no longer needed external validation to
feel good enough.
If that's what you want, read on. I don't do superficial - if you want a
better life, you need to be prepared to go deep and to do the real inner
work.
If you're ready to improve your relationships, optimize your well-being,
cultivate inner peace, be a better leader and thrive overall, read on. And
when we do this work, we naturally heal the planet and make the world
a better place, too. It's magical stuff! Glad you're here!
THE 6 KEY PRACTICES TO
UNLOCK A BETTER LIFE
Copyright 2020 Deb Blum All Rights Reserved. DebBlum.com
2. SHADOW INTEGRATION
Reclaiming, healing, accepting and
loving the disowned parts of
ourselves AND acknowledging our
shared humanity
INTERNAL ORIENTATION
Connecting back to ourselves so we
can be the source of the love,
acceptance and validation that we
have always looked for "out there"
CONNECTION
Creating enough internal safety to
create authentic, vulnerable,
mutually respectful and nourishing
relationships
DECONSTRUCTION
of the limiting and false beliefs and
stories we hold onto about
ourselves, others and life
Unlocking a Better Life
6 KEY PRACTICES
Copyright 2020 Deb Blum All Rights Reserved. DebBlum.com
FEEL TO HEAL
One of the most important things
we can do is to get in touch with our
sensations in our body and our
feelings.
ACCEPT YOUR HUMANNESS
So many of us reject that which is
just part of being a human - our
impulses, survival instincts, and even
just normal development.
3. As babies and very young children,
our parents' love and acceptance
was critical for our survival. We
needed them to care for us, hold us,
love us and keep us safe. When they
disapproved of us or our behavior,
we learned very quickly what not to
do and what to do instead. This was
the smartest most resourceful thing
we could do for our survival.
We needed their approval,
acceptance, love and validation (to
feel attached). At a deep and primal
level, our survival was connected to
their love. This continued over the
years we lived at home with our
parents. Though there were times
when our autonomy mattered more
to us (toddlers and teens), we were
programmed in a deep way to look
outside of ourselves for approval and
acceptance.
In that process, we abandoned
ourselves and our own inner voice.
We believed that what others said
about us was true. And most of it
was rooted in their own baggage. It's
time to orient away from getting our
needs met "out there" and begin to
look "in here."
Turn inward. Re-connect to yourself.
Every family (and their extended
family, friend groups, community,
religious institutions, political
affiliations, etc.) comes with a set of
belief systems. Society as a whole
has a set of belief systems. Those
belief systems get imprinted upon us
and very rarely do we ever challenge
them.
Many of those belief systems cause
us to stay stuck, unhappy, feeling
unworthy, not good enough,
pressured and on and on.
These beliefs can be as simple as
"watching TV is not a good way to
connect with your kids" to "men aren't
nurturing" to "teens are difficult" to
"women are too emotional." Those
are just four of millions of beliefs that
we may hold that are not serving (or
are actually hurting) us.
As we begin to turn inward, we gain
more self-awareness. We don't
always like what we see in there. It's
a time to be gentle and curious. As
we meet ourselves with more
curiosity, we can start to deconstruct
some of these limiting and false
beliefs and consciously CHOOSE new
ones that are life-enhancing.
INTERNAL ORIENTATION
Unlocking a Better Life
DECONSTRUCTION
Copyright 2020 Deb Blum All Rights Reserved. DebBlum.com
4. As a child, when we experience
something painful (physically,
emotionally or psychologically) and
we have no one there to process it
with us, it can be too much for us to
handle.
Our survival brain is very resourceful
and wise and does whatever it can to
protect us. One important strategy is
to cut us off from fully feeling our
feelings and sensations in our bodies.
These are our coping strategies and
defense mechanisms that we play out
as patterns in our present day lives.
They often come up as triggers.
In order to heal, we need to be willing
to feel our feelings (not just talk about
them and analyze them) and to drop
from our heads into our bodies.
Once we know that this is needed, we
can set the intention to notice what
we're feeling in our bodies
(sensations) and what we are feeling
in our hearts (feelings/emotions).
Rather than trying to change, resist, or
stop feeling them, we can simply
notice them and stay with them for
just a moment longer than we would
typically. You can take it as slow as
you need and want. A mantra you can
use: all feelings are welcome
So many of us reject that which is part
of being a human - our impulses,
survival instincts, and even just normal
development. Two examples of the
human condition are as follows:
Triggers: everyone gets triggered
and yet we act as if that's not true.
Our triggers are baked into our
survival brain and are precisely why
the human species still exists. If we
would be more open about our
triggers, we would be able to feel less
shame and feel more empowered to
use them as a pathway to heal that
which has been triggered within us.
Lying: there is a natural impulse
within each of us to lie when we feel
we are in trouble. There are many
reasons but the two primary ones are
(1) self-preservation and (2) we don't
want to lose the connection with the
other. When we can acknowledge this
as a normal human impulse, we can
shine a light on it, understand it and
consciously CHOOSE to tell the truth.
Instead, what we do is criticize, judge
and shame others and ourselves.
The self-loving thing we can do is to
shine a light on our shadows and
come to love ALL parts of ourselves.
Unlocking a Better Life
FEEL TO HEAL
ACCEPT YOUR HUMANNESS
Copyright 2020 Deb Blum All Rights Reserved. DebBlum.com
5. Remember we talked about how our
parents' love and approval was so
important to us? Well, another thing
happened to us as we learned to
stop doing the things that put our
parents' love at risk. We learned that
there are "acceptable" and
"unacceptable" parts of us.
Each time we got a message when
we were younger that we weren’t
enough, were too much, or that our
behavior was unacceptable, we
splintered off that part of ourself. We
became dis-integrated. We judged
ourselves harshly and told ourselves
to stop doing x or to stop being y.
As an adult, we suffer from the pain
of all of those pieces of ourselves
having been banished into the
shadows. Some deep part of us
knows that we’re missing those
pieces – and that deep part aches for
us to be whole and integrated. Those
missing pieces leave us feeling empty
and broken. Not knowing who we are.
The self-love journey is really the path
of integration. The integration of all
parts of ourselves – the so called
good, bad, and ugly.
Integration=Wholeness=Aliveness
Unlocking a Better Life
We are all wired for connection. So in
order to really feel joy, fulfillment and
love, we need to be in relationships
with other humans. Relationships
often get challenging when they are
built on a foundation where people
are unconsciously seeking and
grasping to get their needs met by
the other person.
As we deepen our self-love practice,
we begin to notice that (a) we don't
need other people in the same ways
as we used to, (b) we know how to
meet many of our own needs, (c)
people begin to gravitate to us and
love us more than we ever felt loved
in the past, and (d) we have new skills
to develop more mutually fulfilling,
respectful and nourishing
relationships.
When we have a solid, flexible and
resilient sense of self, connection
happens naturally.
The more we love ourselves, the more
others love us. Was it was always our
own lack of self-love that was
holding us back from getting what
we want in our lives? That it's always
been here, available to us.
We just needed to turn inward first.
SHADOW INTEGRATION CONNECTION
Copyright 2020 Deb Blum All Rights Reserved. DebBlum.com
6. Unlocking a Better Life
Self-care
Kind self-talk
Checking in with "how do I feel" and
"what do I need?"
Self-compassion
Slowing down
Paying attention to body sensations
Getting support from others
Saying no
Intentional breathing
Cutting yourself & others slack
Laughter and play
Be true to yourself
Asking for what you need
Moving your body
Pushing hard when you need rest
Comparison to others
Self-criticism
Ruminating
Worrying about the future
Gossiping
Should-ing
Isolating yourself
Saying yes when you mean no
Believing all of your thoughts
People pleasing
Self-sacrificing
Doubting yourself
Allowing your fear to take over
Self-medicating
If you'd like to dive deeper into this Self-Love Journey, please explore my membership group - Self-Love
Basecamp.
To learn more about me, visit my website: https://www.debblum.com/ or to check out my membership
group, visit: http://selfloveheals.com.
Learning to love ourselves and live our best lives does not happen as a result of an online course, workshops
or reading books alone. It's a journey and that's what the Self-Love Basecamp is all about!
D A Y - T O - D A Y W A Y S T O L I V E A
B E T T E R L I F E B Y B E I N G M O R E Y O U
Copyright 2020 Deb Blum All Rights Reserved. DebBlum.com
DO MORE OF THIS AND LESS OF THIS
Much love,