The document discusses the key aspects of counseling including its goals, approaches, roles of counselors, and skills required. Specifically, it aims to (1) understand clients and help them clarify their situations, (2) create an accepting environment for clients to explore issues, and (3) assist clients in understanding problems and determining actions to address them. Effective counselors demonstrate qualities like empathy, genuineness, and positive regard. They are careful to avoid behaviors such as advising or judging clients. Active listening is essential, and counselors must respect clients' rights and maintain confidentiality.

1. Prof. Lakshman Madurasinghe, PhD Consultant Psychologist, Attorney ESSENTIALS OF COUNSELLING

2. What is Counselling ? Why do we need it ?

3. Counselling may be defined as 1.providing help and support to a client

4. 2. creating a climate of acceptance

5. 3. Assisting the client to explore, understand and act (EUA)

6. It is a dynamic relationship between two or more persons- A QUANTUM MODEL

7. consilium ….grasp with sellan ….to sell or deliver counselling is delivered and counselee grasps together with counsellor

8. GOALS AND AIMS OF COUNSELLING To understand the counselee’s current situation. To understand how he has tried to handle the problem. To understand his view of the problem……….

9. To understand his emotional reactions. To evaluate the total problem. To help him clarify his life situation

10. Prof. Edwin Herr…. Hypothesis testing

11. Triple filter of Integrity Honest Accountable Just & Equitable

12. Herrmann Brain-dominance instrument Left brain- logical thinkers left brain –limbic- sequential thinkers Right brain- holistic thinkers Right-brain-limbic- emotional thinkers

13. Spect Analysis What happens if full brain is not used

14. What is the reality around us ?

15. Confucius in Analects says Wealth and honour are what every person desires. But if they have been obtained in violation of moral principles, they must not be kept

16. Socrates in Apology says The moral person does not put money or anything above virtue

17. EastIndiaChina/Japan1000+ BCE Judaism : Moses 1500-1350 BCE Hinduism : 2000 BCE 600 BCE Zoroastrianism : Zoroaster 628-527 BCE Jainism : Mahavira 599-527 BCE Buddhism : Buddha 563-483 BCE

18. Taoism : Lao Tse 580-500 BCE Confucianism : Confucius 551-579 BCE 100 CE Christianity : Jesus 1-33 CE Shinto : 100 CE600 CE Islam : Muhammad 570-636 CE

19. Shakespeare on Roses A rose by any other name smells as sweet……..

20. Mini wars, hostages, hi-jackings, hundred other horrors and terrors is disquieting. Inside society there is societal entropy. Crimes are escalating. Violence and vices are spiraling .

21. Counselling is not….. Advice giving Opinion giving Sympathizing

22. Counselling is not….. Giving practical help Not simply interviewing Not simply listening

23. Skills are gradual not sudden , so constant practice is vital a few months……

24. Psychological approaches to Counselling Client Centred- Carl Rogers Psychodynamic- Freud Gestalt- Frit Perls Humanistic- RET-Ellis Personal Construct- Kelly Behavioural- Watson, Skinner Transactional Analysis- Berne

25. WHAT ARE THE 3 P’S

26. Premise Person Process

27. Premise Human interaction is primary to life 1. Interdependence 2. Independence

28. Person Accept 3 factors 1. Recognize importance of spiritual values 2. Love others as self 3. Accept self as human

29. Counsellor’s qualities

30. Empathy Some answers Implies risk emotional involvement concern connection between you and the man

31. Empathy To understand someone from his point of view, by sensing and experiencing his feelings and perspective Apathy; Empathy, Sympathy

32. Empathy Negotiation Conflict Management Managing diversity Developing others Customer needs networking

33. Counsellor’s qualities 1. Empathy- Your hurt is my hurt 2. Positive regard 3. Genuineness 4. Concreteness

34. Counsellor’s qualities 5. Clear thinking 6. Common sense 7. Self awareness 8. Warmth

35. Counsellor’s Motivation

36. Counsellor’s Motivation 1. The need for relationships 2. The need to control

37. Counsellor’s Motivation 3. The need to rescue 4. The need for information

38. Counsellor’s Motivation 5. Just fashionable…..

39. Some don’ts in Counselling Don’t Moralize Don’t compare with your experience Don’t offer advice on personal and emotional issues Don’t tell the client they don’t feel a certain way- of course you are not depressed…..

40. Counsellor’s Role

41. Counsellor’s Role 1. Being hasty instead of deliberate 2. Being disrespectful instead of sympathetic

42. Counsellor’s Role 3. Being judgmental instead of unbiased 4. Being directive instead of interpretive

43. Counsellor’s Role 5. Emotionally over involved 6.Artificial- not authentic

44. The Counselee The Counselee’s rights must be respected Right to speak and be heard Right to his/her opinion Right to defend him/herself Right to personal philosophy

45. The process

46. Moving Interviews forward

47. 3 Stages Understand Explore Act

48. Check list of essentials 1 . Why does he need help at this time 2. What has he already done towards solving the problem 3. What help has he already received

49. Check list of essentials 4. What help does he still need 5. Spiritual needs 6. Plan of action

50. Unskilled responses Me too If I were you Yes, but

51. Active listening is a learned skill and not a natural attribute

52. Listening Assessment

53. Effective Listening behaviour SOLER 1. Sitting squarely 2. Open position 3. Leaning forward 4. Eye contact 5. Relaxing

54. Check List of listening skills Be accepting Be concerned Be patient Be specific Be honest Be faithful

55. 1. Be Accepting Take a non-judgmental stance Accept him for what he is Accept him for where he is

56. 2. Be Concerned Caring and willing to get involved Attentive to what the client says Your motivation is love

57. 3. Be patient The client sets the schedule Giving time suggests interest Do not force the pace

58. 4. Be specific Ask specific questions Give concrete statements Confront inconsistencies

59. 5. Be honest Respond in a way that reflects your feelings Your responses are to be congruent with your feelings Your responses should be gracious

60. 6. Be faithful Absolute confidentiality Refrain from passing along info given by client Always keep an appointment with client

61. The Complete Message Please fill out the % ?? % Non Verbal ?? % ?? % Tone Content

62. The Complete Message Nonverbal – 55 % Tone of voice- 38 % Actual words- 7 % !!