1) The document outlines the agenda for a class, including practicing rhetorical analysis of two versions of a song, learning about revision by analyzing changes to a political speech, and forming groups to develop revision plans for classmates' papers. 2) Students will analyze differences in how minor and major revisions change meaning and audience appeals in Hillary Clinton's speech. 3) In groups, students will ask questions to develop revision plans for classmates' papers, focusing on problems, thesis, audience appeals, needed additions or reductions.

2. Today
1)Opening– some ads
2)Practice—rhetorical analysis of two versions of a
song
3)Activity – what does revision LOOK like?
4)A thing: The revision plan!
5)Group practice– go make one!
6)Announcement about next Thursday
7)Homework

3. Ads
Among your responses to the question about
advertising was one particularly interesting campaign
(of many, of course). Let’s look, quickly, at a few
Dove soap ads.

6. Music
One of the things we haven’t done, as a class, yet, is
look specifically at music. So I want to double-dip
and do some quick in-class rhetorical analysis of a
song while also looking at two examples of different
(literally and in the sense that we talked about in
class) voices.
Hopefully this won’t hurt.

8. Next up: Revision
We’ve talked a bit about revision, but I wanted to
show you revision in action. Bear in mind as you look
at this example, you don’t have to agree– or have to
disagree– with the content. We’re looking at
rhetorical moves and the nature of the revision.
I know I say that a lot, but I want you to remember–
this isn’t politics class. You aren’t being judged for
your stance on issues, nor do you need to agree with
anything we use in class.

9. On my Tumblr
You will find this image, and a link under it. Please
click the link. We’re going to read together.

10. Key points to take away
There are three things I want you to notice in
particular about Clinton’s revisions:
1) Notice the differences in how fine grain some are
vs. others. Sometimes it’s just a word choice, or
word order, but often it’s the inclusion of longer
phrases or entire new sentences.
2) Notice how many of them are about knowing his
audience (changing ―people‖ to ―folks‖ for
example)
3) Look at the mostly green spots– the points of
MAJOR revision. What do you notice?

11. Having seen this…
We now have a sort of way to visualize revision.
What I’d like you to do next is form groups of three or
four. In your group, pick one or the other of the
readings from CCM for today.
What we’re going to do is what you will do when you
workshop your inquiry 2 drafts: we’re going to build
revision plans for the author based on our sense of
their text.
On the next slide are the tasks for building this plan.

12. Revision Plan:
You want to ask these things:
1) Are there MAJOR problems? If so, how can you
highlight them and what do you suggest to correct
them?
2) What’s the thesis/major claim? Does the essay
support that throughout?
3) Where are places where you feel that better
appeals could be made to the audience? How
might this be achieved?
4) Where do you want more? What do you want
more of? Why?
5) Where do you want less? What do you want
instead?

13. Let’s talk about them
What do your plans look like?
Do they seem useful?
Does it make sense how this could help as you
revise?

14. Next Thursday
Next Thursday, there will be a guest speaker on
campus: Dr. Cindy Selfe from Ohio State University.
She’s going to speak about the topic of Transnational
Literacy.
I’d like you all to attend, but it’s at a weird timeslot: 5-
6:30. I am going to cancel class in the afternoon so
that you can attend, but if you cannot make that time,
please let me know ASAP.
Earlier class: you get to choose. Would you like to
meet, or would you like to go to the presentation
instead?

15. For Tuesday: Homework
Bring your rough draft of inquiry 2 for workshop. We will
be developing revision plans, as we did here, so most of
class will be dedicated to that. Bring a digital copy– I want
to show all of you how to do some commenting IN MS
Word.
Forum prompt: We’ve now learned a host of new terms,
taught each other even more terms, and we’ve taken a
rhetorical stance toward texts. So now… we figure out
where we are. Post one term you’re unclear on, then look
at other posts until you find a term you feel confident
about and post your definition to help that student to
better understand.