This document provides an agenda for a class on finding solutions and eliminating wordiness. It includes strategies for reducing wordiness in writing, such as reducing clauses and phrases, avoiding empty openers, and not overusing modifiers. Students participate in a team quiz on MLA style and discuss their essay assignments, which involve proposing a solution to a defined problem. They are guided to explore multiple potential solutions and choose one to research further by developing a list of questions to investigate. The next class will involve library research and students are assigned reading and discussion posting for homework.

1. CREM EWRT 1A
DAY 16
Finding a Solution
THIS IS FINE.

2. Quiz: Hope in the Dark
(pp. 96-110; 115-125).
 1. What does Solnit mean by “the
global local” when it comes to
political engagement?
 2. What is a victory or success by
indigenous people in the last few
decades that gives Solnit hope?
 3. Solnit argues that politicians and
the media ignored or overlooked
what was truly important about
what happened on September 11,
2001. What important lesson does
she think that day can teach us?
 4. Solnit mentions other major
disasters which can teach us
something about community and
heroism. Name one.

3. Agenda / Participation
 Sentence-level editing:
eliminating wordiness.
 MLA style team quiz.
 P4 assignment/deadline review.
 Finding a solution.
 Participation for today:
 One point for contributions in full
discussion (limit 3).
 Team points for MLA quiz.

4. Finding an effective way to help
alleviate any difficulties that the
reader may have due to the accidental
or deliberate use of unnecessarily long
or redundant phrases.

5. Or:
Eliminating wordiness!

6. Many people write wordy papers because they are
trying to make their ideas sound important by using
long words and intricate sentences. They think that
their writing must be complicated to seem
professional. Although these writers are trying to
impress their readers, they often end up confusing
them. The best writing is clear, concise, and easy to
understand.
Your ideas are much more impressive when your
reader does not have to fight to understand you.
Wordiness: using more words than
necessary to express thought.

7. Often writers use several words for ideas that can be expressed in
one. This leads to unnecessarily complex sentences and genuine
redundancy as the following examples show:
Redundant
 The printer is located adjacent
to the computer
 The printer is located in the
immediate vicinity of the
computer
 The user can visibly see the
image moving
 He wore a shirt that was blue
in color
 The input is suitably processed
Not Redundant
 The printer is adjacent to the
computer
 The printer is near the
computer
 The user can see the image
moving
 He wore a blue shirt.
 The input is processed

8. Now you try it. Write this sentence in as few
words as possible without changing the
meaning!
The available receptacle, in
any case, was of insufficient
size to contain the total
quantity of unnecessary waste.

9. How to reduce wordiness!
 1. Reduce Long Clauses
 When editing, try to reduce
long clauses to shorter
phrases:
 Wordy: The clown who was in
the center ring was riding a
tricycle.
 Revised: The clown in the
center ring was riding a
tricycle.
 2. Reduce Phrases
 Likewise, try to reduce
phrases to single words:
 Wordy: The clown at the
end of the line tried to
sweep up the spotlight.
 Revised: The last clown
tried to sweep up the
spotlight.

10. Eliminating Wordiness: Strategies
 3. Avoid Empty Openers
 Avoid There is, There are, and
There were as sentence
openers when There adds
nothing to the meaning of a
sentence:
 Wordy: There is a prize in
every box of Quacko cereal.
 Revised: A prize is in every box
of Quacko cereal.
 Wordy: There are two security
guards at the gate.
 Revised: Two security guards
stand at the gate.
 4. Don’t Overwork Modifiers
 Do not overwork very, really,
totally, and other modifiers
that add little or nothing to the
meaning of a sentence.
 Wordy: By the time she got
home, Merdine was very tired.
 Revised: By the time she got
home, Merdine was exhausted
 Wordy: She was also really
hungry.
 Revised: She was also hungry
[or famished].

11. Eliminating Wordiness
 5. Avoid Redundancies
 Replace redundant expressions (phrases that use more
words than necessary to make a point) with precise
words. Remember: needless words are those that add
nothing (or nothing significant) to the meaning of our
writing. They bore the reader and distract from our
ideas. So cut them out!
 Wordy: At this point in time, we should edit our work.
 Revised: Now we should edit our work.

12. Try these!
1. He dropped out of school on account of the fact that it
was necessary for him to help support his family.
2. It is expected that the new schedule will be announced
by the bus company within the next few days.
3. There are many ways in which a student who is
interested in meeting foreign students may come to know
one.
4. It is very unusual to find someone who has never told a
deliberate lie on purpose.
5. Trouble is caused when people disobey rules that have
been established for the safety of all.

13. Possible Answers
1. He dropped out of school to support his family.
2. The bus company will probably announce its schedule during the
next few days.
3. Any student who wants to meet foreign students can do so in many
ways.
4. Rarely will you find someone who has never told a deliberate lie.
5. Disobeying safety regulations causes trouble.

14. MLA Style Game!
 Get into teams—up to FOUR people
in a team.
 Someone on your team must have a
smart phone.
 You will need a good view of the
projection screen at the front.
 Everyone on your team will receive
the (adjusted) points your team
scores as participation.
 https://play.kahoot.it/#/k/e784cd
46-0f16-437d-b669-d61be4e9327d
 You should go to: http://kahoot.it

15. Essay #4: Proposing a Solution:
Assignment: Write an essay from five to seven pages in
length, that addresses the topic below. Use a minimum of
three credible sources to support your argument.
Prompt: Write an essay proposing a solution to a well-
defined problem that people in our area, our country, or our
world are facing today. This problem should be a general
problem, which means that it should affect more than just
you or people you know. You will want to make sure your
problem is appropriately narrowed so that you can describe
it and propose a reasonable solution in such a short paper.
Address your proposal to an audience of people who may
be able to contribute to solving the problem.
Calendar
• The peer revision will take place
during our finals meeting in
Week 12: Monday, March 26, 9:30
AM.
• Essay #4 will be due via Canvas
on Tuesday, March 27, by 5 PM.

16. Refer to your HW for today.
You should have two different paragraphs
written for two different solutions.
 Look at what you have.
 It usually helps to consider several possible
solutions before focusing on one solution;
problem solving requires creativity.
 Let’s take one more look before we limit our
solution to the single, best one.

17. Listing Multiple Possible Solutions to your Problem
 Answer the following questions to help you
make a list of more creative solutions you
could consider for your problem:
1. Can you adapt a solution that has already been tried
or proposed for related problems? Which? How?
2. What smaller, more manageable aspect of the larger
problem could you solve? How might you do so?
3. Could re-imagining the goal help you make
fundamental changes?
4. Could an ongoing process help solve the problem?
5. How could Hope in the Dark help me think about
solutions? What kinds of solutions would Solnit like?

18. Exploring Potential Solutions
Now, take the answers
to those questions and
write another
paragraph addressing a
third potential solution
to your problem.

19.  Focus on the solution
that seems the most
interesting to explore.
 In a sentence or two,
describe the solution
you want to explore
further. You should
choose a solution that
you feel motivated to
pursue. This will be
your working thesis!
In order to solve the
problem of bullying
lgbtq+ students in
junior high, …..
Choosing the Most Promising Solution

20. Explain Why Your Solution
Would Solve the Problem.
Now, write for a few minutes explaining
why you think this solution could solve the
problem. For example, would it
1. eliminate one or more causes?
2. alleviate one or more consequences?
3. change people’s attitudes?
4. re-imagine the goal?

21. Show Why Your Solution Is Possible.
 Write for a few minutes explaining why
people could agree to put the solution
into effect. For example, what would it
cost them in time or money?

22. Explain How It Could Be Implemented.
 Write down the major stages or
steps necessary to carry out
your solution.
 Who? How? More detail is
better.
 This list of steps will provide an
early test of whether your
solution can, in fact, be
implemented.

23. How do I find
out how much
will this cost?
Who will
know how much
time will it take
to do this?
Who has tried
this solution in
the past?
Ask yourself: What do I
still need to know and
how can I find the
information?
Are there
statistics that
support this as a
good idea?

24. Making a list of what you need to research:
 Problem:
 What would be useful statistics?
(How common? How expensive? Has
it increased?)
 Good stories as examples
(narratives, testimonies).
 What effects does it have? What do
the experts say?
 Solution:
 Has anyone tried anything like this
before?
 How much might it cost?
 How much time or energy would it
require?
 What process would be necessary
to implement?
 Statistics?
Come up with at least THREE specific questions you will need to
answer by doing research.

25. Next Class / HW / Participation
 Our next class is a library research
session (but in our regular
classroom). If you have a laptop,
please bring it.
 HOMEWORK for Monday:
 Read Hope in the Dark, pp. 126-
142 (last reading from the book!).
 Post Discussion 24 on Canvas.
(Discussion 24 is your in-class
writing responses to slides 20-22+
24 from today.)
 Bring your list of questions that
you need to answer about your
problem and solution that you
might answer through research.
 Participation:
 One point for contributions in full
discussion (limit 3).
 Team points for MLA quiz.