Assert Yourself
Assert Yourself
Assert Yourself
Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2013
By the end of the Power Hour you will be able to:
• Describe some of your assertive rights, and why
these are important
• Identify and display assertive behaviours
• Apply a three-step model to assert
yourself in a wide range of
situations
Assert Yourself
Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2013
Blocks to Assertiveness
I can’t back
down, or I’ll lose my
authority.
I don’t want to
upset anyone.
As long as everyone
else is happy, I’ll just
fit in.
People should know
what I want without
me having to say.
If I don’t get what I
want I’ll look silly.
If I say ‘no’ people
will take it
personally.
It’s rude/selfish to
put yourself above
others.
It is uncaring to be
assertive.
My needs are less
important than
others’.
I’ve no right to
change my mind. It
can be disruptive.
Assert Yourself
Train the Trainer Oct 2011
Assertive Rights
Your assertive rights include
the right to:
 be treated with respect
 say "no" without feeling guilty
 feel and express your feelings
 be listened to
 take the necessary time to
calm down and think
 change your mind
 ask for what you want
 ask for information
 to make mistakes
 feel good about yourself
 decide how you spend your
time
 act (or not)
 disagree
Assert Yourself
Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2013
Aggressive Behaviour
Thumping fists Pointing fingers Striding around
Staring Glaring Shouting Blaming others
Wanting to win at all costs Insisting on being right
Sarcasm Stating opinions as facts
Not interested in anyone else’s opinions Belittling others
Assert Yourself
Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2013
Passive (Submissive) Behaviour
Not expressing own views Overly-apologetic Timidity
Blaming yourself Belittling yourself Whining
Expressing opinions in such a way that they are ignored
Seeking to accept blame Hesitant False, strained smile
Little eye contact Too quiet Negative language
Assert Yourself
Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2013
Assertive Behaviour
Standing up for yourself Being open and honest
Being direct Being positive Taking responsibility
Not judging others Not blaming others Staying calm
Finding solutions or compromises Asking questions
Listening to answers Open body language Steady eye contact
Assert Yourself
Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2013
The ‘SEW’ Model
Situation
Effect
Want
Assert Yourself
Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2013
The ‘SEW’ Model
Situation
Effect
Want
• Be specific about the behaviour/situation that
bothers you
• Say "When you do X" or "When you say Y", or
• Say "I'm very busy at the moment"
Assert Yourself
Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2013
The ‘SEW’ Model
Situation
Effect
Want
• Explain how the behaviour/
situation makes you feel
• Say "I feel that I have no choice"
or "I feel it is unfair
because...", or
• Say "If I do this, it will affect my
work on..."
Assert Yourself
Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2013
The ‘SEW’ Model
Situation
Effect
Want
• State what you want to happen to
improve things in the future
• Say "I'd like you to discuss option with me
instead" or "I'd like you to ask other
people too", or
• Say "So I'd like to redirect some of my
routine work to...", or "I'm happy to help
if you extend my deadline for..."
Assert Yourself
Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2013
Make it Work at Work
What are you going
to DO as a result of
this Power Hour
Session?
Assert Yourself
Http://www.power-hour.co.uk – Bite Size Training Materials 2013
These slides have been produced as an optional
resource to support a Bite-Size Training session on this
subject.
A full set of materials, including detailed Session
Leader’s Guide, Delegate Workbook and supporting
activities can be purchased from our Training Shop
Our Training materials are licence-free, but are for use
by the purchaser only.
They CANNOT be passed or sold on.

Assert yourself

  • 1.
  • 2.
    Assert Yourself Http://www.power-hour.co.uk –Bite Size Training Materials 2013 By the end of the Power Hour you will be able to: • Describe some of your assertive rights, and why these are important • Identify and display assertive behaviours • Apply a three-step model to assert yourself in a wide range of situations
  • 3.
    Assert Yourself Http://www.power-hour.co.uk –Bite Size Training Materials 2013 Blocks to Assertiveness I can’t back down, or I’ll lose my authority. I don’t want to upset anyone. As long as everyone else is happy, I’ll just fit in. People should know what I want without me having to say. If I don’t get what I want I’ll look silly. If I say ‘no’ people will take it personally. It’s rude/selfish to put yourself above others. It is uncaring to be assertive. My needs are less important than others’. I’ve no right to change my mind. It can be disruptive.
  • 4.
    Assert Yourself Train theTrainer Oct 2011 Assertive Rights Your assertive rights include the right to:  be treated with respect  say "no" without feeling guilty  feel and express your feelings  be listened to  take the necessary time to calm down and think  change your mind  ask for what you want  ask for information  to make mistakes  feel good about yourself  decide how you spend your time  act (or not)  disagree
  • 5.
    Assert Yourself Http://www.power-hour.co.uk –Bite Size Training Materials 2013 Aggressive Behaviour Thumping fists Pointing fingers Striding around Staring Glaring Shouting Blaming others Wanting to win at all costs Insisting on being right Sarcasm Stating opinions as facts Not interested in anyone else’s opinions Belittling others
  • 6.
    Assert Yourself Http://www.power-hour.co.uk –Bite Size Training Materials 2013 Passive (Submissive) Behaviour Not expressing own views Overly-apologetic Timidity Blaming yourself Belittling yourself Whining Expressing opinions in such a way that they are ignored Seeking to accept blame Hesitant False, strained smile Little eye contact Too quiet Negative language
  • 7.
    Assert Yourself Http://www.power-hour.co.uk –Bite Size Training Materials 2013 Assertive Behaviour Standing up for yourself Being open and honest Being direct Being positive Taking responsibility Not judging others Not blaming others Staying calm Finding solutions or compromises Asking questions Listening to answers Open body language Steady eye contact
  • 8.
    Assert Yourself Http://www.power-hour.co.uk –Bite Size Training Materials 2013 The ‘SEW’ Model Situation Effect Want
  • 9.
    Assert Yourself Http://www.power-hour.co.uk –Bite Size Training Materials 2013 The ‘SEW’ Model Situation Effect Want • Be specific about the behaviour/situation that bothers you • Say "When you do X" or "When you say Y", or • Say "I'm very busy at the moment"
  • 10.
    Assert Yourself Http://www.power-hour.co.uk –Bite Size Training Materials 2013 The ‘SEW’ Model Situation Effect Want • Explain how the behaviour/ situation makes you feel • Say "I feel that I have no choice" or "I feel it is unfair because...", or • Say "If I do this, it will affect my work on..."
  • 11.
    Assert Yourself Http://www.power-hour.co.uk –Bite Size Training Materials 2013 The ‘SEW’ Model Situation Effect Want • State what you want to happen to improve things in the future • Say "I'd like you to discuss option with me instead" or "I'd like you to ask other people too", or • Say "So I'd like to redirect some of my routine work to...", or "I'm happy to help if you extend my deadline for..."
  • 12.
    Assert Yourself Http://www.power-hour.co.uk –Bite Size Training Materials 2013 Make it Work at Work What are you going to DO as a result of this Power Hour Session?
  • 13.
    Assert Yourself Http://www.power-hour.co.uk –Bite Size Training Materials 2013 These slides have been produced as an optional resource to support a Bite-Size Training session on this subject. A full set of materials, including detailed Session Leader’s Guide, Delegate Workbook and supporting activities can be purchased from our Training Shop Our Training materials are licence-free, but are for use by the purchaser only. They CANNOT be passed or sold on.