Chap7: Understanding Interpersonal Relationships

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This slideshow was created to accompany the seventh chapter of Communicate! by Kathleen S. Verderber, Rudolph F. Verderber and Deanna D. Sellnow. Publisher: Wadsworth/Cengage Learning. ISBN-13: 978-0-495-90171-6

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Chap7: Understanding Interpersonal Relationships

  1. 1. Chapter 7: Understanding Interpersonal Relationships By: Miranda Emery
  2. 2. Relationships <ul><li>Relationship - Sets of expectations two people have for their behavior based on the pattern of interaction between them. </li></ul><ul><li>Good relationships - Ones in which the interactions are satisfying to and healthy for those involved. </li></ul>
  3. 3. Types of Relationships <ul><li>Acquaintances- People we know by name and talk with when the opportunity arises, but with whom our interactions are limited. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Impersonal Communication - Chit chat. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Goals: Reduce uncertainty, maintain face, and save face (maintain positive self-image) </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Guides </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Initiate conversation </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Develop an other-centered focus </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Engage in turn-taking </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Make your comments relevant </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Be polite </li></ul></ul></ul>
  4. 4. Types of Relationships <ul><li>Friends- People with whom we have voluntarily negotiated more personal relationships. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Guides </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Initiation: Set up times to spend together. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Responsiveness: Listen. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Self-disclosure: Share feelings </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Emotional support: Provide comfort and support when needed. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Conflict management: Manage so that both person’s needs are met. </li></ul></ul></ul>
  5. 5. Types of Relationships <ul><li>Close Friends and Intimates- Those few people with whom we share close, caring, and trusting relationships characterized by a high degree of commitment, trust, interdependence, disclosure, and enjoyment. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Platonic- No sexual attraction or do not act of sexual attraction </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Romantic- Act on sexual attraction </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Trust- Placing confidence in another in a way that almost always involves some risk. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Guides </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Be dependable </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Be responsive </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Be collaborative in managing conflict </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Be faithful </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Be transparent </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Be willing to put your relationship first </li></ul></ul></ul>
  6. 6. Disclosure and Feedback <ul><li>Johari Window (pg. 143)- Tool for examining the relationship between disclosure and feedback in a relationship. </li></ul>
  7. 7. Disclosure and Feedback <ul><li>Relationships are made </li></ul><ul><li>Stages of a relationship (not linear) </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Beginning - To understand </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Developing - Capitalize on similarities and tolerate/negotiate differences </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Maintaining - Forgiveness, affection, self-disclosure, favors, and support. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Deteriorating (perhaps)- Manipulation, withdrawal, and avoidance </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Relationship transformation - Relationship ends, transforms to another type (romance to friends) </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><li>A healthy relationship </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Self-disclosure - Sharing </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Feedback - Response </li></ul></ul>
  8. 8. Dialectics in Interpersonal Relationships <ul><li>Dialectic - Tension between conflicting forces </li></ul><ul><li>Relational dialectics - Competing psychological tensions that exist in any relationship. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Autonomy (desire for independence) v. Connection (desire to do things with partner) </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Openness (desire to share feelings) v. Closedness (desire for privacy) </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Novelty (desire for originality, freshness, and uniqueness) v. Predictability (desire for consistency) </li></ul></ul>
  9. 9. Managing Dialectic Tensions <ul><li>Temporal selection - Choose one, ignore the other…for now. </li></ul><ul><li>Topical segmentation - Choose certain topics to satisfy one desire and another to satisfy opposite desire (Let’s talk about sex, baby…just not with Mom) </li></ul><ul><li>Neutralization - Compromise between desires of two people. </li></ul><ul><li>Reframing - Changing your perception about the level of tension. </li></ul>
  10. 10. Thank you! Questions??

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