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Subject : Theory of
Communication

 Chapter 7     Group 5
Communication in the Stages
    of Relationships


             PRESENTER: NGỌC CẨM
Every relationship develops and changes with time
Even though no two relationships develop in exactly the
same manner, they tend to follow a life cycle that has four
identifiable stages:


•   Beginning
•   Developing
•   Maintaining
•   Deteriorating


    (Baxter, 1982; Duck, 1987; Knapp & Vangelisti, 2000; Taylor & Altman, 1987).
Beginning Relationships

• Communication during the beginning stage of a
  relationship focuses on reducing uncertainty by
  increasing your knowledge of the other person.

• Your goal is to understand how he or she sees the
  world (Berger, 1987).

• Relationships can begin in face-to-face or online
  environments.
The process that relationships go through in the beginning stage –
                               Steve Duck (1999)




FACE
-TO-
FACE
E.g. Two college roommates – Kate &Whitney

hobbies    studying    major      school    Schedule




     The chitchat reduces uncertainty and helps
      them gain knowledge about each other
Relationships in online environments

• Online communication may present a potentially less
  difficult way to meet others than traditional face-to face
  interactions.
• The initial interaction can occur in the comfort of your own
  home and at your own pace.

• You need not be concerned about physical aspects of the
  self or the other, and you can more precisely select what
  you are going to say (Ward &Tracy, 2004).
DEVELOPING RELATIONSHIPS
• Moving from the beginning stage of a
  relationship, we get into the next one: The
  developing.
• On this stage, partners will identify and
  capitalize on their similarities and tolerate or
  negotiate their differences.
• As the relationship develops, partners tend to
  share greater physical contact.




    Sitting closer   Leaning toward
                                      More eye contact
      together         each other

• Such physical behaviors may or may not involve
  romantic feelings.
• Females and males may differ in how they
  show physical contact in same- and opposite-
  sex friendships.

• Females may hold hands
  or hug other female
  friends.



• Males may high-five each
  other or punch each
  other’s shoulder.
• As a relationship develops, partners will feel
  psychologically closer.
• Partners who do not feel relaxed and
  comfortable will remain casual acquaintances
  and may even decide to avoid having any
  relationship with one another.
• Because the relationship is
  developing, partners will come to understand
  each other more and be less surprised by the
  attitudes, reactions, or behaviors of the other.
• Because they share a history and common
  activities, they will come to develop a
  common language, including inside jokes, pet
  expressions, and references unique to their
  relationship.
• Relationships can develop via face-to-face or
  online interactions.
• Some people even report that they achieve
  more closeness in online relationships than in
  equivalent face-to-face relationships.
MAINTAINING A RELATIONSHIP




Maintaining a relationship means that
both people participate in ways that
keep the relationship at a particular
level of closeness.
Researchers       have     catalogued       many
strategies,   such      as     spending      time
together,           merging            friendship
networks, sacrifice, and forgiveness that people
use to maintain relationships.
You probably unconsciously use many
 of these techniques to maintain your
 relationships.
For example:
• Thu and Mai are from different province but they
  are room-mate and they used these strategies to
  maintain their relationship.
• In the second year, they decided to take a few
  classes together, join some of the same
  clubs, and get to know each other’s friends. They
  even visited each other’s hometowns and met
  each other’s families and high school friends.
You can maintain your relationship
by choosing to spend time together
face to face or online. In fact online
communication can be the main
vehicle for maintaining long distance
relationships.
Another relationship maintenance
   strategy involves a willingness to
               sacrifice.

Sacrifice means putting your own needs or
desires on hold.
For example
When Nga was ill, sacrificed a date in order to
stay home and take care of her sick roommate.
Because all relationships involve give-and-
take, being willing at times to do what is best for
the other person or for the relationship itself
can help maintain the relationship.
Another strategy people sometimes
  practice is “positive illusion.” This
means emphasizing others’ virtues and
      downplaying their faults.
Relationships can also be maintained by
forgiveness. Because conflict is inevitable in
close relationships, we may do or say things that
hurt our partner. If not handled properly, such
transgressions can harm the relationship and
move it to a level of less intimacy.
By forgiving minor transgressions, we can keep a
relationship at the desired level of closeness.
For example, Thu and Mai each have little habits
that annoy the other, but they choose not to let
these annoyances get in the way of a good
friendship.
Other ways that people maintain their
relationships     include     continuing
mutually      acceptable    levels    of
affection, self-disclosure, favors, and
support.
Keys to maintaining relationships


We all need one another. Life is about
relationships and we need to know how to keep
and maintain them.
Below are a few keys to keeping your
relationships.
1. Appreciate and value your friends.
2. If you take your friends for granted you will
   eventually loose them.
3. Keep a diary of phone calls and visits
   especially if you are a very busy person. This
   may sound funny, but if you don’t, you will
   wake up one morning to find out that you
   have drifted apart. This is especially
   important if you have just met someone and
   you are just building the relationship.
4.   Discuss any issues that may arise. If you
     have unresolved issues, deal with them
     and don’t hope they will just go away
     without confronting them. Unresolved
     issues may eventually ruin your
     friendship.
5.   However high up you go in life,
     endeavour        to keep your friends
     that were there for you before you
     became famous.
6.   Respect people and don’t be rude.
7.  Return phone calls, emails, text messages,
    acknowledge cards and gifts.
8. When you perceive that a person has an
    interest in you or wants to know you
more,     receive them and open up.
9. Give people allowances.
10. If a person asks for your phone number,
    give it to them and ask for theirs. Its show
    that you are also interested in pursuing
    the relationship.
Deteriorating and Dissolving
       Relationships


              PRESENTER: Minh Sang
The less highly developed a relationship is, the more
likely it is to dissolve.

Over time, a developed relationship may become less
satisfying to one or both partners so that a partner will
invest less time in the relationship

But this doesn’t mean that the relationship will end.
Instead it may revert to a different, less intimate level.
The partners may feel less
                                                       connected to each other, begin
                                                       to share fewer activities, and
                                                       communicate less frequently

                                                       begin to emphasize each
                                                       other’s faults and downplay
                                                       virtues. Subjects that once
                                                       involved deep, private, and
                                                       frequent communication may
                                                       become off-limits or sources of
                                                       conflict.
      The first sign that a relationship is
      deteriorating is a subtle indication
      of dissatisfaction.
 Partners become more defensive and less willing to foster a positive
communication climate.

 If the relationship continues to be dissatisfying, people begin to drift apart. They
become less willing to sacrifice for each other, and they show less forgiveness.
When a relationship can’t be maintained at a less
developed level, it will end.

A relationship has ended when the people no longer
interact with each other

When a relationship can’t be maintained at a less
developed level, it will end. A relationship has ended
when the people no longer interact with each other.
Unfortunately, when people decide to end a relationship, they sometimes look for
reasons to blame each other rather than trying to find equitable ways of bringing
the relationship to an acceptable conclusion
The most competent way to end a relationship is to be
direct, open, and honest.

It is important to clearly state your wish to end the
relationship while being respectful of the other person
and sensitive to the resulting emotions.

 If two people have had a satisfying and close
relationship, they owe it to themselves and to each
other to be forthright and fair about communicating
during the final stage of the relationship.
RELATING FACTORS

Presenter: Dinh Quoc Minh Dang
• The factors affecting the way we communicate
  with others in the stages of relationship
Common Stages
Levinger’s Theory that Relationships pass through
Five Stages from Beginning to End
INITIAL ATTRACTION
Positive Factors

• Proximity and repeated
  exposure

• Positive emotions

• High affiliation need and
  friendship motivation
INITIAL ATTRACTION
         Negative Factors

         • Absence of proximity and
           repeated exposure

         • Negative emotions

         • Low affiliation need and
           friendship motivation
BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP

Positive Factors

• Equivalent physical
  attractiveness

• Similarity of attitudes and
  other characteristics

• Reciprocal positive
  evaluations
BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP

            Negative Factors

            • Nonequivalent physical
              attractiveness

            • Dissimilarity of attitudes
              and other characteristics

            • Reciprocal negative
              evaluations
CONTINUATION
Positive Factors

• Seeking ways to maintain interest
  and variety
• Providing evidence of positive
  evaluation
• Absence of jealousy
• Perceived equity
• High level of mutual satisfaction
CONTINUATION
     Negative Factors

     • Falling into a rut and becoming
       bored
     • Providing evidence of negative
       evaluation
     • Jealousy
     • Perceived inequity
     • Low level of mutual satisfaction
DETERIORATION
Positive Factors

• Much time and effort invested in
  relationship

• Work at improvement of
  relationship

• Wait for improvement to occur
DETERIORATION
            Negative Factors

            • Little time and effort invested in
              relationship
            • Decide to end relationship

            • Wait for deterioration to continue
ENDING
Positive Factors

• Existing relationship offers some
  rewards

• No alternative partners available

• Expect relationship to succeed

• Commitment to a continuing
  relationship
ENDING
 Negative Factors

 • A new life appears to be the only
   acceptable solution

 • Alternative partners available

 • Expect relationship to fail

 • Lack of commitment to a
   continuing relationship
Relationship Dialectics Theory
Summary
• Communication in the Stages of Relationship:
  1.   Beginning relationship
  2.   Developing relationship
  3.   Maintaining relationship
  4.   Deteriorating and dissolving relationship
  5.   Common factors affecting these stages
The end!
• Group members:
  1.   Dinh Quoc Minh Dang
  2.   Nguyen Dinh Minh Sang
  3.   Vo Huu Loc
  4.   Tran Thi Ngan Giang
  5.   Nguyen Ngoc Cam

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Chapter 7 (communication in the stages of relationships)

  • 1. Subject : Theory of Communication Chapter 7 Group 5
  • 2. Communication in the Stages of Relationships PRESENTER: NGỌC CẨM
  • 3. Every relationship develops and changes with time
  • 4. Even though no two relationships develop in exactly the same manner, they tend to follow a life cycle that has four identifiable stages: • Beginning • Developing • Maintaining • Deteriorating (Baxter, 1982; Duck, 1987; Knapp & Vangelisti, 2000; Taylor & Altman, 1987).
  • 5. Beginning Relationships • Communication during the beginning stage of a relationship focuses on reducing uncertainty by increasing your knowledge of the other person. • Your goal is to understand how he or she sees the world (Berger, 1987). • Relationships can begin in face-to-face or online environments.
  • 6. The process that relationships go through in the beginning stage – Steve Duck (1999) FACE -TO- FACE
  • 7. E.g. Two college roommates – Kate &Whitney hobbies studying major school Schedule The chitchat reduces uncertainty and helps them gain knowledge about each other
  • 8. Relationships in online environments • Online communication may present a potentially less difficult way to meet others than traditional face-to face interactions.
  • 9. • The initial interaction can occur in the comfort of your own home and at your own pace. • You need not be concerned about physical aspects of the self or the other, and you can more precisely select what you are going to say (Ward &Tracy, 2004).
  • 11. • Moving from the beginning stage of a relationship, we get into the next one: The developing. • On this stage, partners will identify and capitalize on their similarities and tolerate or negotiate their differences.
  • 12. • As the relationship develops, partners tend to share greater physical contact. Sitting closer Leaning toward More eye contact together each other • Such physical behaviors may or may not involve romantic feelings.
  • 13. • Females and males may differ in how they show physical contact in same- and opposite- sex friendships. • Females may hold hands or hug other female friends. • Males may high-five each other or punch each other’s shoulder.
  • 14. • As a relationship develops, partners will feel psychologically closer. • Partners who do not feel relaxed and comfortable will remain casual acquaintances and may even decide to avoid having any relationship with one another.
  • 15. • Because the relationship is developing, partners will come to understand each other more and be less surprised by the attitudes, reactions, or behaviors of the other. • Because they share a history and common activities, they will come to develop a common language, including inside jokes, pet expressions, and references unique to their relationship.
  • 16. • Relationships can develop via face-to-face or online interactions. • Some people even report that they achieve more closeness in online relationships than in equivalent face-to-face relationships.
  • 17. MAINTAINING A RELATIONSHIP Maintaining a relationship means that both people participate in ways that keep the relationship at a particular level of closeness.
  • 18. Researchers have catalogued many strategies, such as spending time together, merging friendship networks, sacrifice, and forgiveness that people use to maintain relationships.
  • 19. You probably unconsciously use many of these techniques to maintain your relationships. For example: • Thu and Mai are from different province but they are room-mate and they used these strategies to maintain their relationship. • In the second year, they decided to take a few classes together, join some of the same clubs, and get to know each other’s friends. They even visited each other’s hometowns and met each other’s families and high school friends.
  • 20. You can maintain your relationship by choosing to spend time together face to face or online. In fact online communication can be the main vehicle for maintaining long distance relationships.
  • 21. Another relationship maintenance strategy involves a willingness to sacrifice. Sacrifice means putting your own needs or desires on hold.
  • 22. For example When Nga was ill, sacrificed a date in order to stay home and take care of her sick roommate. Because all relationships involve give-and- take, being willing at times to do what is best for the other person or for the relationship itself can help maintain the relationship.
  • 23. Another strategy people sometimes practice is “positive illusion.” This means emphasizing others’ virtues and downplaying their faults.
  • 24. Relationships can also be maintained by forgiveness. Because conflict is inevitable in close relationships, we may do or say things that hurt our partner. If not handled properly, such transgressions can harm the relationship and move it to a level of less intimacy. By forgiving minor transgressions, we can keep a relationship at the desired level of closeness.
  • 25. For example, Thu and Mai each have little habits that annoy the other, but they choose not to let these annoyances get in the way of a good friendship.
  • 26. Other ways that people maintain their relationships include continuing mutually acceptable levels of affection, self-disclosure, favors, and support.
  • 27. Keys to maintaining relationships We all need one another. Life is about relationships and we need to know how to keep and maintain them. Below are a few keys to keeping your relationships.
  • 28. 1. Appreciate and value your friends. 2. If you take your friends for granted you will eventually loose them. 3. Keep a diary of phone calls and visits especially if you are a very busy person. This may sound funny, but if you don’t, you will wake up one morning to find out that you have drifted apart. This is especially important if you have just met someone and you are just building the relationship.
  • 29. 4. Discuss any issues that may arise. If you have unresolved issues, deal with them and don’t hope they will just go away without confronting them. Unresolved issues may eventually ruin your friendship. 5. However high up you go in life, endeavour to keep your friends that were there for you before you became famous. 6. Respect people and don’t be rude.
  • 30. 7. Return phone calls, emails, text messages, acknowledge cards and gifts. 8. When you perceive that a person has an interest in you or wants to know you more, receive them and open up. 9. Give people allowances. 10. If a person asks for your phone number, give it to them and ask for theirs. Its show that you are also interested in pursuing the relationship.
  • 31. Deteriorating and Dissolving Relationships PRESENTER: Minh Sang
  • 32. The less highly developed a relationship is, the more likely it is to dissolve. Over time, a developed relationship may become less satisfying to one or both partners so that a partner will invest less time in the relationship But this doesn’t mean that the relationship will end. Instead it may revert to a different, less intimate level.
  • 33. The partners may feel less connected to each other, begin to share fewer activities, and communicate less frequently begin to emphasize each other’s faults and downplay virtues. Subjects that once involved deep, private, and frequent communication may become off-limits or sources of conflict. The first sign that a relationship is deteriorating is a subtle indication of dissatisfaction.  Partners become more defensive and less willing to foster a positive communication climate.  If the relationship continues to be dissatisfying, people begin to drift apart. They become less willing to sacrifice for each other, and they show less forgiveness.
  • 34. When a relationship can’t be maintained at a less developed level, it will end. A relationship has ended when the people no longer interact with each other When a relationship can’t be maintained at a less developed level, it will end. A relationship has ended when the people no longer interact with each other.
  • 35. Unfortunately, when people decide to end a relationship, they sometimes look for reasons to blame each other rather than trying to find equitable ways of bringing the relationship to an acceptable conclusion
  • 36. The most competent way to end a relationship is to be direct, open, and honest. It is important to clearly state your wish to end the relationship while being respectful of the other person and sensitive to the resulting emotions. If two people have had a satisfying and close relationship, they owe it to themselves and to each other to be forthright and fair about communicating during the final stage of the relationship.
  • 38. • The factors affecting the way we communicate with others in the stages of relationship
  • 40. Levinger’s Theory that Relationships pass through Five Stages from Beginning to End
  • 41. INITIAL ATTRACTION Positive Factors • Proximity and repeated exposure • Positive emotions • High affiliation need and friendship motivation
  • 42. INITIAL ATTRACTION Negative Factors • Absence of proximity and repeated exposure • Negative emotions • Low affiliation need and friendship motivation
  • 43. BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP Positive Factors • Equivalent physical attractiveness • Similarity of attitudes and other characteristics • Reciprocal positive evaluations
  • 44. BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP Negative Factors • Nonequivalent physical attractiveness • Dissimilarity of attitudes and other characteristics • Reciprocal negative evaluations
  • 45. CONTINUATION Positive Factors • Seeking ways to maintain interest and variety • Providing evidence of positive evaluation • Absence of jealousy • Perceived equity • High level of mutual satisfaction
  • 46. CONTINUATION Negative Factors • Falling into a rut and becoming bored • Providing evidence of negative evaluation • Jealousy • Perceived inequity • Low level of mutual satisfaction
  • 47. DETERIORATION Positive Factors • Much time and effort invested in relationship • Work at improvement of relationship • Wait for improvement to occur
  • 48. DETERIORATION Negative Factors • Little time and effort invested in relationship • Decide to end relationship • Wait for deterioration to continue
  • 49. ENDING Positive Factors • Existing relationship offers some rewards • No alternative partners available • Expect relationship to succeed • Commitment to a continuing relationship
  • 50. ENDING Negative Factors • A new life appears to be the only acceptable solution • Alternative partners available • Expect relationship to fail • Lack of commitment to a continuing relationship
  • 51.
  • 53. Summary • Communication in the Stages of Relationship: 1. Beginning relationship 2. Developing relationship 3. Maintaining relationship 4. Deteriorating and dissolving relationship 5. Common factors affecting these stages
  • 54. The end! • Group members: 1. Dinh Quoc Minh Dang 2. Nguyen Dinh Minh Sang 3. Vo Huu Loc 4. Tran Thi Ngan Giang 5. Nguyen Ngoc Cam