Chapter: 8
Objectives

 Recognize many ways you communicate with others
 Evaluate the importance of good listening skills
 Judge t...
Levelsa of Communication
1. Make small circle with the
groups I have organized.
2. Everyone must participate.
3. No talkin...
Round #1
Share an event
you have
experienced.
Example:
Round #2
 Describe a

situation that
has proven to be
a good
INFLUENCE on
your life.
 Example:
Round #3
 Describe a quality

you already have
that will make you
a better parent or
spouse.
 Example:
Round #4
 You must give a

compliment to
one other person
in your group.
 Example
Levels of
Communication
 Event

Superficial
 Influence

Personal
 Personal Quality

Validating
 Compliment
Levels of Communication “SPV”
Superficial
Communication making up the
majority of our communication.
Talking about the
Per...
Levels of Communication
Questions
1.
2.
3.

4.

5.
6.

Can a relationship remain stable for an extended period
of time if ...
Reasons for keeping Communication
Superficial:
 I may be hurt.
 I don’t want to hurt their feelings.
 They will misinte...
What Validation Is
 To validate someone's feelings is first to accept

someone's feelings. Next, it is to understand them...
Basic Steps to Validation
 Acknowledging the other person's feelings
 Identifying the feelings
 Offering to listen
 He...
Example of Validating
 I hear you.

That hurts
That's not good
 Wow, that's a lot to deal with
I would feel the same way...
Terms to Know
 Communication – any means by

which you share a message with
another person
 Verbal Communication – use
w...
Conflict
 1. to come into collision or disagreement; be







contradictory, at variance, or in opposition; clash:
2...
Terms to Know Cont.
 Non-verbal Communication –

use factors other than words ex.
Gestures, facial expressions, eye
conta...
Terms to Know Cont.
 Feedback – Communicating to the other person how

you feel about what was said
 Passive listening –...
Terms to Know Cont.
 Assertive – To express your

feelings directly
 Cliques - A narrow, exclusive
group of people held
...
Terms to Know Cont.
 Hazing – A social groups

intentional infliction of
physical and emotional
abuse
 Bullying – Refers...
Terms to Know Cont.
 Conflict Resolution – A form of meditation that solves

disagreements in a positive way.
 Sexual Ha...
Levels of Communication
 Level Five
 Little conversation – weakest
level
 Often referred to as cliché
 Level Four
 Dr...
Levels of Communication
 Level Three
 Engage in conversation
 Willingness in this level is to share your ideas and
judg...
Levels of Communication
 Level Two
 Become increasingly open
to others and expose
feelings and emotions
 Strong desire ...
Levels of Communication
 Level One
 Completely open and honest
with others
 Have courage to reveal deepest
thoughts and...
Motivator
 Hammer Communication
or
 Calvin and Hobbes
or
 Often we really communicate destructively and
constructively ...
Hammer of Communication
THE CLAW IS LIKE
DESTRUCTIVE
COMMUNICATION.

THE SHANK IS LIKE
NON-VERBAL
COMMUNICATION:

It is sh...
What is an I-Message?
 Not accusing are not

belittling
 Use these to take
responsibility for how you
feel
 These messa...
What is a You-Message?
 Often used but more

negative than an Imessage
 Creates confrontation
when you do not mean to
 ...
What is a We-Statement?
 Offers a further step in

improving communication
particularly in families
 These indicate the ...
Results of Win-Win Solutions
•More creative in Thinking up solutions
•Take more responsibility for helping everyone
have n...
Cliques
 Often put pressure on teens to pretend they are

something they are not
 Provide support and security
 Give te...
Hazing
 Involves humiliation or

physical distress
 Teens with high selfesteem see hazing for
what it is, hostile people...
Bullying
 Form of violence including theft, staling money, harsh

pranks, and imposed territorial bases
 Target people w...
Gangs
 Network of people that are

involved in criminal activity
and violence
 Gangs are formed for a sense
of belonging...
A Little Respect Goes A Long Way
Chapter 8 communication with others
Chapter 8 communication with others
Chapter 8 communication with others
Chapter 8 communication with others
Chapter 8 communication with others
Chapter 8 communication with others
Chapter 8 communication with others
Chapter 8 communication with others
Chapter 8 communication with others
Chapter 8 communication with others
Chapter 8 communication with others
Chapter 8 communication with others
Chapter 8 communication with others
Chapter 8 communication with others
Chapter 8 communication with others
Chapter 8 communication with others
Chapter 8 communication with others
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Chapter 8 communication with others

  1. 1. Chapter: 8
  2. 2. Objectives  Recognize many ways you communicate with others  Evaluate the importance of good listening skills  Judge the importance of communicating a positive      image of yourself Identify five levels of communication Describe assertive behavior and its effect on communication Analyze communication skills that work well with parents Describe group behaviors that involve violence Recognize sexual harassment if it occurs
  3. 3. Levelsa of Communication 1. Make small circle with the groups I have organized. 2. Everyone must participate. 3. No talking with other groups. 4. Everyone must listen with their eyes. 5. When I call time you must stop where you are. 6. If you have not finished the previous round, finish it and then move on.
  4. 4. Round #1 Share an event you have experienced. Example:
  5. 5. Round #2  Describe a situation that has proven to be a good INFLUENCE on your life.  Example:
  6. 6. Round #3  Describe a quality you already have that will make you a better parent or spouse.  Example:
  7. 7. Round #4  You must give a compliment to one other person in your group.  Example
  8. 8. Levels of Communication  Event Superficial  Influence Personal  Personal Quality Validating  Compliment
  9. 9. Levels of Communication “SPV” Superficial Communication making up the majority of our communication. Talking about the Personal weather, home, school, food, et Communication involving c. opening up and talking about feelings, beliefs and opinions that mean something to you. Validating Communication reinforcing people’s feelings about themselves.
  10. 10. Levels of Communication Questions 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Can a relationship remain stable for an extended period of time if they communicate in a superficial state? Why? Which levels of communication must a relationship strive for in order to grow? Why? Which was more difficult to share in group? Events, Influences, Personal qualities, Compliments. Why? What are some reactions that occurred in your group? Explain why these occurred. Why is it more difficult to share personal qualities and compliments. Why would you communicate superficially?
  11. 11. Reasons for keeping Communication Superficial:  I may be hurt.  I don’t want to hurt their feelings.  They will misinterpret what I say.  They won’t be receptive  It will put our relationship at risk.  I will be out on a limb and won’t be supported. http://www.mnadr.state.mn.us/workplace/pdf/Keepcomm.pdf
  12. 12. What Validation Is  To validate someone's feelings is first to accept someone's feelings. Next, it is to understand them, and finally it is to nurture them.
  13. 13. Basic Steps to Validation  Acknowledging the other person's feelings  Identifying the feelings  Offering to listen  Helping them label the feelings  Being there for them; remaining present physically and emotionally  Feeling patient  Feeling accepting and non-judgmental
  14. 14. Example of Validating  I hear you. That hurts That's not good  Wow, that's a lot to deal with I would feel the same way. (I would be sad/hurt/angry/jealous, etc. too)  That is sad. That sounds discouraging. That sounds like it would really hurt That must really hurt.  I know just what you mean. I would feel the same way. I can understand how you feel. It sounds like you are really feeling ____. It sounds like is really important to you.
  15. 15. Terms to Know  Communication – any means by which you share a message with another person  Verbal Communication – use words to send or receive a message  Body Language – A form of nonverbal communication
  16. 16. Conflict  1. to come into collision or disagreement; be     contradictory, at variance, or in opposition; clash: 2. to fight or contend; do battle. 3. a fight, battle, or struggle, esp. a prolonged struggle; strife. 4. controversy; quarrel: conflicts between parties. 5. discord of action, feeling, or effect; antagonism or opposition, as of interests or principles: a conflict of ideas. 6. a striking together; collision.
  17. 17. Terms to Know Cont.  Non-verbal Communication – use factors other than words ex. Gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, and body movements  Active Listening – Type of listening in which a person indicates to the sender that a message has been heard and encourages further communication
  18. 18. Terms to Know Cont.  Feedback – Communicating to the other person how you feel about what was said  Passive listening – Taking in the words and offers no sign of hearing or understanding  Empathy – Process of seeing things from another person’s view
  19. 19. Terms to Know Cont.  Assertive – To express your feelings directly  Cliques - A narrow, exclusive group of people held together by common interests  Mediator – Third party that helps resolve conflicts
  20. 20. Terms to Know Cont.  Hazing – A social groups intentional infliction of physical and emotional abuse  Bullying – Refers to infliction of physical, verbal, or emotional abuse
  21. 21. Terms to Know Cont.  Conflict Resolution – A form of meditation that solves disagreements in a positive way.  Sexual Harassment – Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors for other verbal or physical conduct of sexual nature.
  22. 22. Levels of Communication  Level Five  Little conversation – weakest level  Often referred to as cliché  Level Four  Draw out very little from other or yourself  Not interested in conversation
  23. 23. Levels of Communication  Level Three  Engage in conversation  Willingness in this level is to share your ideas and judgments with others  Carefully restrict ideas until you know what other’s reactions will be.
  24. 24. Levels of Communication  Level Two  Become increasingly open to others and expose feelings and emotions  Strong desire to tell how you feel in being completely honest  Do not judge others around you
  25. 25. Levels of Communication  Level One  Completely open and honest with others  Have courage to reveal deepest thoughts and feelings to others  Want to know and understand what another person is feeling and why
  26. 26. Motivator  Hammer Communication or  Calvin and Hobbes or  Often we really communicate destructively and constructively with people we are surrounded with. Whole days can be ruined because of destructive communication. Put – down take 14 positive remarks to erase.
  27. 27. Hammer of Communication THE CLAW IS LIKE DESTRUCTIVE COMMUNICATION. THE SHANK IS LIKE NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION: It is sharp and dangerous and is used to destroy and tear down relationships. It is strong and can be used to support construction or destruction. THE HANDLE OF THE HAMMER IS LIKE US– IT IS THE DRIVING FORCE. We are in control of our communication and choose to use it in a constructive or destructive manner. THE HEAD IS LIKE CONSTRUCTIVE COMMUNICATION. It is smooth and rounded and is used to build and help put things together.
  28. 28. What is an I-Message?  Not accusing are not belittling  Use these to take responsibility for how you feel  These messages are less threatening and help keep lines of communication open
  29. 29. What is a You-Message?  Often used but more negative than an Imessage  Creates confrontation when you do not mean to  Accusing and belittling
  30. 30. What is a We-Statement?  Offers a further step in improving communication particularly in families  These indicate the problem existing in a group or relationship  Minimize individualistic aspects of a problem and emphasize togetherness
  31. 31. Results of Win-Win Solutions •More creative in Thinking up solutions •Take more responsibility for helping everyone have needs met •Feeling of mutual respect •Love grows deeper with every conflict resolved.
  32. 32. Cliques  Often put pressure on teens to pretend they are something they are not  Provide support and security  Give teens an identity
  33. 33. Hazing  Involves humiliation or physical distress  Teens with high selfesteem see hazing for what it is, hostile people feel they have power over others
  34. 34. Bullying  Form of violence including theft, staling money, harsh pranks, and imposed territorial bases  Target people who seem weaker or smaller than their self
  35. 35. Gangs  Network of people that are involved in criminal activity and violence  Gangs are formed for a sense of belonging and protection
  36. 36. A Little Respect Goes A Long Way

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