Workshop on Building Trust and Listening
•Download as PPTX, PDF•
0 likes•155 views
Communication workshop on the topics of: 1. Building trust through disclosure and vulnerability 2. Listening
Recommended
More Related Content
What's hot
What's hot (20)
Viewers also liked
Viewers also liked (11)
Similar to Workshop on Building Trust and Listening
Similar to Workshop on Building Trust and Listening (20)
More from Hannah Knapp
More from Hannah Knapp (20)
Recently uploaded
Recently uploaded (20)
Workshop on Building Trust and Listening
- 1. Disclosure & Vulnerability Listening Semira Rahemtulla Sept 20, 2016
- 2. Who am I? • Co-founder/CEO of PlayTell • Director, Product Mgmt @ Guidewire (IPO 2010, $2.5B+ market cap) • UX Designer @ Vividence (Acq by Keynote) • Harvard Ed.M; Stanford Computer Science Semira Rahemtulla Cofounder of InnerSpace
- 4. If You Really Knew Me (right now)…
- 5. Exercise #1: If You Really Knew Me (right now)… • Each person gets 2min to complete the sentence “If you really knew me (right now)….” • No responses except “Thank you”
- 6. Exercise #2 Do Your Best Listening
- 7. Exercise #2: Do Your Best Listening • Find a partner in the room, go sit with them. • Pick a Person A & Person B • Wait for further instructions
- 8. Exercise #2: Do Your Best Listening • Person A: 4min to talk about an irritating situation • Person B: Do your best listening • Then switch Take notes on your experience being heard • How are you feeling? • What kinds of questions did your listener ask? • What is the outcome of the conversation?
- 9. How was that? What were some of the questions people asked? What was the very best listening you heard? What made it feel that way?
- 10. A Thought Experiment… On a quiet Sunday afternoon, when your partner says: “I hate Sundays! I get so stressed on Sundays because Monday comes next! I hate my job! I wish I could figure out how I could not have to work there ever again.” What do you say back?
- 11. 3 Levels of Listening 1.Listening to win • Rejecting / tell her she’s wrong (often nicely) 2.Listening to fix • Adding new info, asking a question 3.Listening to understand • Content • Emotion • Meaning - So work is so bad you’d rather not even go? And you’re frustrated because you can’t figure out how to get around a thing you hate? - That’s not true! Sundays are the best! You’ve got to enjoy Sundays - at least it’s not yet Monday. - You know, Sundays used to be like that for me, too. You just have to not think about Monday. - What’s going on at work?
- 12. Why is listening so hard? Our reflexes are more wired for this… …than for this:
- 13. Our mental models affect how we listen How can I get her to focus on the real issue? How can I get her to see it my way? Why is she being so difficult? PEOPLE HAVE PROBLEMS Listening to “fix” What is she saying? What’s the central feeling? What is it connected to? What’s her implicit hope, intent, or fear? PEOPLE HAVE PERSPECTIVES Listening to understand
- 14. Exercise #3 Practice “Level 3” Listening
- 15. Exercise #3: Practice “Level 3” Listening • Person A: 3 minutes to talk about the same issue • Person B listens at “Level 3” – Listening for meaning • Then switch 3 minutes to debrief with each other • Listener: What meaning did you hear? • Speaker: Did you feel understood?
- 17. Exercise #4: Real-life discussion Groups of 3 • Discuss a complex issue [15min] • Practice listening for understanding and making the other person feel heard BEFORE sharing your view
- 18. Exercise #4: Real-life discussion Did you feel heard, understood? What did your partners do well? What did they miss? • 3min to write your feedback • 2min each to share with the group
- 19. Exercise #4: Real-life discussion • 15 more minutes to discuss the issue • Remember to listen for meaning and make the other person feel understood, then share your view
Editor's Notes
- who are we lucky to be part of a team that took this stuff seriously (communication & culture) fortunate to be involved in the early part of a company that was well run and had a successful exit and was the founder of a company that may or may not have been well run, but didn't have a successful exit
- What did you notice, observe? More connected? Was it hard to listen? What made it hard?
- What about when there are no set rules? Hard enough when there are. There is listening and there is making the other person feel heard, feel understood. There are 2 sides to it. Learn how to listen such that the other person feels heard, and how to bring in your perspective
- Storyteller: Talk about an irritating situation you’ve experienced in the past 2 weeks (not “fine china”; rather something that is irritating but not the end of the world)
- Storyteller: Talk about an irritating situation you’ve experienced in the past 2 weeks (not “fine china”; rather something that is irritating but not the end of the world) 4,4,2
- What makes for great listening? What makes it hard to listen that way? preconceived notions of their intent - getting them on our side having an agenda, trying to get stuff done (let go of it and come back to it) voices in my head, my inner monologue (tough to shut that down) So listening is tough to do. Let’s introduce a tool to make it a bit easier
- Takes forever --> often it takes surprisingly less time than you think. The hard part is getting yourself to stop and think for a second and to formulate your response rather than just responding right away -- cognitively difficult --> (never get anything done - what if I don't agree? How are we going to move forward? We'll get mired in the disagreement rather than getting to action) If they don't agree, but you ignore it, doesn't mean you agree. So then the action you get to just means you'll have the conversation again. And sometimes you have this conversation over and over and over. --> you don't always have to listen this way. This is a tool for those times when things are difficult, when you feel stuck, when you feel like you're having the same conversation again and again and the other person just doesn't get. Use this tool wisely - all levels are equally valid. We just don't tend to access #6 unless you practice. -if I listen to somebody like that, isn't it arrogant of me to tell them what they're thinking -I am implicitly agreeing with them - what if I think they're wrong --> you don't have to be right and you don't have to agree
- 15min discuss 3min take notes 2min each to share with group (6-7min total) 15min discuss
- 15min discuss 3min take notes 2min each to share with group (6-7min total) 15min discuss
- 15min discuss 3min take notes 2min each to share with group (6-7min total) 15min discuss