The document discusses interpersonal communication and adjustment in the 21st century. It outlines various aspects of the communication process and differences between face-to-face and computer-mediated communication. It defines interpersonal communication as a two-way interactional process involving sending and receiving messages. Key components of the communication process are identified as the sender, receiver, message, channel, noise/interference, and context. Nonverbal communication conveys important information through facial expressions, eye contact, body language, touch, and paralanguage. Effective listening and self-disclosure are important skills for communication and relationship development.

1. Interpersonal
Communication
Adjustment in the 21st Century
Dr. Mehran Rostamzadeh
INTI International University
Nilai ,2015

2. Learning Outcomes
● Outline various aspects of the communication
process.
● Discuss important differences between face-
to-face and computer-mediated communication.

3. Communication
• can be defined as the process of sending and receiving messages
that have meaning (Williamset al., 2012).
• communication.
• interpersonal communication—the transmission of meaning
between two or more people (Smith & Wilson,
2010).
• For the most part, we’ll concentrate on two-person interactions.
• We define interpersonal communication as an interactional
process in which one person sends a message to another.

4. Communication
• First, for communication to qualify as interpersonal, at least two people must be
involved.
• Second, interpersonal communication is a process (Hargie, 2011).
• By this, we simply mean that it usually involves a series of actions:
• Third, this process is interactional. Effective communication is not a one-way
street: Both participants send as well as receive information when they’re
interacting.
• Communicators also interpret and create messages by reflecting on their own
experiences.
• People with similar backgrounds are apt to understand each other better (at least
initially) than individuals with different frames of reference (Schramm, 1955).
• A key implication of these facts is that you need to pay attention to both speaking
and listening if you want to be an effective communicator, just as you should
learn to ask focused questions to clarify the meaning or intent of the
communications you receive.

5. Components and Features of the Communication Process
• Let’s take a look at the essential components of the
interpersonal communication process.
• The key elements (most of which were introduced in
Chapter 7) are
• (1) the sender,
• (2) the receiver,
• (3) the message,
• (4) the channel through which the message is sent,
• (5) noise or interference, and
• (6) the context in which the message is communicated.
• .

6. • The sender is the person who initiates the
message.
• In a typical two-way conversation, both people
serve as senders (as well as receivers).
• Keep in mind that each person brings a unique
set of expectations and understandings to each
communication situation.
• The receiver is the person to whom the message
is targeted.

7. • The message refers to the information or meaning that is
transmitted from the sender to the receiver.
• The message is the content of the communication—that is,
the ideas and feelings conveyed.
• The channel refers to the sensory means through which the
message reaches the receiver.
• Typically, people receive information from multiple channels
simultaneously.
• Whenever two people interact, miscommunication can occur.
• Noise refers to any stimulus that interferes with accurately
expressing or understanding a message.

8. Sources of noise include environmental factors (street
traffic,
loud music,
computer spam or pop-ups,
crowded rooms),
physical factors (poor hearing, poor vision),
and physiological factors (hunger, headaches,
medications).
All social communication occurs in and is influenced
by a context, the environment in which communication
takes place.
Context includes the physical environment—
such as location,
time of day,
and noise level—
and how a conversation takes place:
face to face,
in a telephone call,
or via the Internet.
Other important aspects of context include the nature of
the participants’ relationship (work associates, friends,
family), their history (previous interactions),
their current mood (happy, stressed),
and their cultural backgrounds (Verderber et al., 2008).

9. Communication and Adjustment
Communication with others—friends, lovers,
parents, spouses, children, employers, workers—is
such an essential and commonplace aspect of
everyday life that it’s hard to overstate its role in
adjustment.
Numerous studies have shown that good
communication can enhance satisfaction in
relationships (Egeci & Gençöz, 2006; Estrada, 2012)
and that poor communication ranks high as a cause
of breakups among both straight and gay couples
(Angulo, Brooks, & Swann, 2011; Kurdek, 1998).

10. Learning outcomes
• List five general principles of nonverbal communication.
• Discuss the dynamics of personal space and what can be
discerned from facial cues and eye contact.
• Summarize the research findings on body movement,
posture, gestures, touch, and paralanguage in
communication.
• Recognize the difficulty in detecting deception, and clarify
the nonverbal cues linked to deception.
• Assess the significance of nonverbal sensitivity in
interpersonal interactions.

11. General Principles
• Nonverbal communication is the transmission of meaning
from one person to another through means or symbols
other than words
• Let’s begin by examining some general principles of
nonverbal communication.
1. Nonverbal communication conveys emotions. People can
communicate their feelings without saying a word—
2. Nonverbal communication is multichanneled. Nonverbal
communication typically involves simultaneous messages sent
through a number of channels.
For instance, information may be transmitted through
gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, and vocal tone at the
same time.

12. General Principles
3. Nonverbal communication is ambiguous. A shrug or
a raised eyebrow can mean different things to different
people.
4. Nonverbal communication may contradict verbal
messages. How often have you seen people proclaim
“I’m not angry” even though their bodies shout that
they are angry.
5. Nonverbal communication is culture-bound. Like
language, nonverbal signals are different in different
cultures (Samovar et al., 2007; Weisbuch & Ambady,
2008).

13. • Personal Space
Proxemics is the study of people’s use of interpersonal space.
• Personal space is a zone of space surrounding a person that is felt
to “belong” to that person.
Anthropologist Edward T. Hall (1966) has described four interpersonal
distance zones .
• The general rule is that the more you like someone, the more
comfortable you feel being physically close to that person.
• Women seem to have smaller personal space zones than men do
(Holland et al., 2004).
• When talking, women sit or stand closer together than men do.

14. Elements of Nonverbal Communication
• Of course, there are obvious exceptions, such as in crowded
subways and elevators, but these situations are often experienced
as stressful.
• For example, one study examined train commuters’ experiences
during rush hour (Evans & Wener, 2007).
• Imagine the long-term impact of such personal space distress on
people who commute twice a day for five or more days per week.
• Personal distance can also convey information about status.
• People generally stand farther away from high-status
communication partners versus partners of lower power (Holland et
al., 2004).

15. Proxemics
• Intimate distance ranges from touching to about 18 inches (46 cm) apart,
and is reserved for lovers, children, close family members, friends, and
pets.
• Personal distance begins about an arm's length away; starting around 18
inches (46 cm) from the person and ending about 4 feet (122 cm) away.
This space is used in conversations with friends, to chat with associates,
and in group discussions.
• Social distance ranges from 4 to 8 feet (1.2 m - 2.4 m) away from the
person and is reserved for strangers, newly formed groups, and new
acquaintances.
• Public distance includes anything more than 8 feet (2.4 m) away, and is
used for speeches, lectures, and theater. Public distance is essentially that
range reserved for larger audiences.[5]

17. Facial Expression
• More than anything else, facial expressions convey emotions (Hess &
Thibault, 2009).
• Paul Ekman and Wallace Friesen have identified six distinctive facial
expressions that correspond with six basic emotions:
• anger,
• disgust,
• fear,
• happiness,
• sadness,
• and surprise (Ekman, 1994; Ekman & Friesen, 1984).
• Eye Contact
• Eye contact (also called mutual gaze) is another major channel of
nonverbal communication
• . The duration of eye contact is its most meaningful aspect.

18. Facial Expression
•
As a rule, people engage in more eye contact when they’re listening than when
they’re talking (Bavelas, Coates, & Johnson, 2002).
• People display an interesting self-serving bias with respect to eye contact:
They assume attractive people are more likely to make eye contact with them
than persons deemed less attractive (Kloth, Altmann, & Schweinberger, 2011).
• There may be times when some types of communication either enhance or
reduce eye contact.
• For example, researchers have long speculated that people are more likely to
make eye contact with others when making sincere statements.
• Conversely, psychologists assumed that speakers making sarcastic comments
become gaze averse—that is, they are more likely to break eye contact with
listeners.

19. Facial Expression
• Gaze also communicates the intensity (but not the positivity or
negativity) of feelings.
• For example, couples who say they are in love spend more time
gazing at each other than other couples do (Patterson, 1988).
• Also, maintaining moderate (versus constant or no) eye contact
with others typically generates positive feelings in them.
• When women make eye contact with men, a longer gaze can
generate the latter’s interest, sustaining it when smiling is part of
the interaction (Guéguen et al., 2008).
• In a negative interpersonal context, a steady gaze becomes a stare
that causes most people to feel uncomfortable (Kleinke, 1986).

20. Body Language
• Body movements—those of the head, trunk, hands, legs, and feet—also provide nonverbal avenues of communication
(Sinke, Kret, & de Gelder, 2012; Streeck, Goodwin, & LeBaron, 2011). Kinesics is the study of communication
through body movements.
By noting a person’s body movements, observers may be able to tell an individual’s level of tension or relaxation, or
whether a person’s expressed remorse is sincere and genuine or merely fabricated “crocodile tears” (ten Brinke et al.,
2012).
• Posture also conveys information. Leaning back with arms or legs arranged in an asymmetrical or “open” position conveys
a feeling of relaxation.
• Posture can also indicate someone’s attitude toward you (McKay, Davis, & Fanning, 1995). A body leaning toward you
typically indicates interest and a positive attitude. Conversely, a body angled away from you or a position with crossed
arms may indicate a negative attitude or defensiveness.
• Posture can also convey status differences. Generally, a higher-status person will look more relaxed. By contrast, a lower-
status person will tend to exhibit a more rigid body posture, often sitting up straight with feet together, flat on the floor,
and arms close to the body (a “closed” position) (Vrugt & Luyerink, 2000)
People use hand gestures to describe and emphasize the words they speak, as well as to persuade (Maricchiolo et al.,
2009). You
might point to give directions or slam your fist on a desk to emphasize an assertion. To convey “no,” you can extend the
index finger of your dominant hand and wave it back and forth from left to right. Children know that when adults slide
their right index finger up and down their left index finger, it means “shame on you.”

21. • Touch
Touch takes many forms and can express a variety of meanings, including support,
consolation, and sexual intimacy. Touch can also convey messages of status and
power (Hall, 2006a).
• Paralanguage
• The term paralanguage refers to how something is said rather than to what is said.
Thus, paralanguage includes all vocal cues other than the content of the verbal
message itself.
• Cues to paralanguage include grunts, sighs, murmurs, gasps, and other vocal
sounds. It can also entail how loudly or softly people speak, how fast they talk, and
the pitch, rhythm, and quality (such as accent, pronunciation, sentence
complexity) of their speech. Each of these vocal characteristics can affect the
message being transmitted.
• Variations in vocal emphasis can give the same set of words very different
meanings. Consider the sentence “I really enjoyed myself.” By varying the word
that is accented, you can speak this sentence in three ways, each suggesting a
different meaning:
● I really enjoyed myself! (Even though others may not have had a good time, I did.)
● I really enjoyed myself! (My enjoyment was exceptional.)
● I really enjoyed myself! (Much to my surprise, I had a great time.)

22. Learning outcomes
• Identify five steps involved in making small talk.
• Explain why self-disclosure is important to adjustment,
citing ways to reduce risks associated with it.
• Discuss the role of self-disclosure in relationship
development.
• Analyze cultural and gender differences in self-
disclosure, and discuss how disclosure varies due to
cultural and gender differences.
• Cite four points good listeners need to keep in mind.

23. Toward more effective communication
• Conversational Skills
The art of conversation is actually based on conversational skills. And these skills can be
learned.
To get you started, we’ll offer a few general principles, gleaned primarily from Messages.
First, follow the Golden Rule: Give to others what you would like to receive from them. In
other words, give others your attention and respect and let them know that you like
them.
Second, focus on the other person instead of yourself. Concentrate on what the person is
saying, rather
than on how you look, what you’re going to say next, or how you are going to win the
argument.
Third, as we have noted, use nonverbal cues to communicate your interest in the other
person. Like you, others also find it easier to interact with a person who signals
friendliness. A welcoming smile can make a big difference in initial contacts.

24. Psychologist Bernardo Carducci (1999) suggests five steps for making
successful small talk.
1. Indicate that you are open to conversation by commenting on your
surroundings. (“This line sure is slow.”)
2. Introduce yourself. You don’t have to be an extravert to behave like one in
an unfamiliar situation. If no one
is saying anything, why not make the first move by extending your hand,
looking the person in the eye, and introducing yourself?
3. Select a topic others can relate to. Keep an eye out for similarities and
differences between you and your conversational partner. Look for things you
have in common— a tattoo, a class, a hometown—and build a conversation
around that.
4. Keep the conversational ball rolling. You can keep things going by
elaborating on your initial topic (“After the band finished, a bunch of us
walked to the new coffeehouse and tried their death-by-chocolate dessert
special”).
5. Make a smooth exit. Politely end the conversation (“Well, I’ve got to run. I
enjoyed talking with you”). When you see the person again, be sure to give a
friendly smile and a wave.

25. Self-Disclosure
• Self-disclosure is the act of sharing information about yourself with another person /opening up about
yourself to others.
• The information you share doesn’t have to be a deep, dark secret, but it may be. Conversations with
strangers and acquaintances typically start with superficial self-disclosure—your opinion of the TV show
you saw last night or your views on who will win the World Series.
• Typically, only when people have come to like and trust each other do they begin to share private
information—such as self consciousness about one’s weight, worries about one’s health (Park, Bharadwaj,
& Blank, 2011), or jealousy of one’s brother (Greene, Derlega, & Mathews, 2006).
• Self-disclosure is critically important to adjustment for several reasons.
• First, sharing fears and problems (as well as good news) with others who are trustworthy and supportive
plays a key role in mental health (Greene et al., 2006), reduce stress. And experience a boost in positive
feelings (Vittengl & Holt, 2000).
• Second, self-disclosure is a way to build relationships with friends and co-workers (Tardy & Dindia, 2006).
• Third, emotional (but not factual) self-disclosures lead to feelings of closeness, as long as disclosers feel
that listeners are understanding and accepting (Laurenceau & Kleinman 2006).
• Fourth, self-disclosure in romantic relationships correlates positively with relationship satisfaction (Greene
et al., 2006).

26. Effective Listening
•
Listening and hearing are two distinct
processes that are often confused.
• Hearing is a physiological process that
occurs when sound waves come into contact
with our eardrums.
• In contrast, listening is a mindful activity
and complex process that requires one to
select and organize information, interpret
and respond to communications, and recall
what one has heard.
• Effective listening is a vastly
underappreciated skill. There’s a lot of truth
in the old saying, “We have two ears and
only one mouth, so we should listen more
than we speak.”

27. The points of being a good listener
• First, signal your interest in the speaker by using nonverbal cues.
Face the speaker squarely and lean toward him or her (rather than
slouching or leaning back in a chair).
• This posture shows that you are interested in what the other person
has to say. Communicate your feelings about what the speaker is
saying by nodding your head or raising your eyebrows.
• Second, hear the other person out before responding. Listeners
often tune out or interrupt a conversational partner when
(1) they know someone well (because they believe that they already
know what the speaker will say),
(2) a speaker has mannerisms listeners find frustrating (stuttering,
mumbling, speaking in a monotone)
(3) a speaker discusses ideas (abortion, politics) that generate strong
feelings or uses terms (welfare cheat, redneck) that push “hot
buttons.”

28. • Third, engage in active listening (Verderber et al., 2008). Pay attention to
what the speaker is saying and mindfully process the information. Active
listening also involves the skills of clarifying and paraphrasing. Inevitably, a
speaker will skip over an essential point or say something that is
confusing. When this happens, you need to ask for
clarification.
• Paraphrasing takes clarifying another step. To paraphrase means to state
concisely what you believe the speaker said. You might say, “Let me see if
I’ve got this right . . .” or “Do you mean . . . ?”
• Paraphrasing can take several forms (Verderber et al., 2008).
• In content paraphrasing, you focus on the literal meaning of the message.
• In feelings paraphrasing, you focus on the emotions connected to the
content of the message. If your friend declares, “I just can’t believe he
showed up at the party with his old girlfriend!” a feelings paraphrase is
obviously in order (“You were really hurt by that”).
• Finally, pay attention to the other person’s nonverbal signals. Listeners
use a speaker’s words to get the “objective” meaning of a message, but
they rely on nonverbal cues for the emotional and interpersonal meanings
of a message.

29. Learning Outcomes
● Discuss some
common responses to
communication
apprehension.
● Identify four
barriers to effective
communication.

30. common responses to communication apprehension
• Researchers have identified four responses to communication apprehension
(Richmond & McCroskey, 1995).
• The most common is avoidance, or choosing not to participate when
confronted with a voluntary communication opportunity. If people believe
that speaking will make them
uncomfortable, they will typically avoid the experience.
• Withdrawal occurs when people unexpectedly find themselves trapped in a
communication situation they can’t escape. Here they may clam up entirely or
say as little as possible.
• Disruption refers to the inability to make fluent oral presentations or to
engage in appropriate verbal or nonverbal behavior.
• Overcommunication is a relatively unusual response to high communication
apprehension, but it does occur. An example would be someone who
attempts to dominate social situations by talking nonstop.

31. Reduce speech anxiety
• With the technique of visualization, for example, you picture
yourself successfully going through all of the steps involved in
preparing for and making a presentation.
• Research shows that people who practice visualization have less
anxiety and fewer negative thoughts when they actually speak
compared to previsualization levels (Ayres, Hopf, & Ayres, 1994).
• Other research demonstrates that repeatedly practicing a
presentation while being digitally videoed can help some people
with communication apprehension (Leeds & Maurer, 2009).
• In particularly acute cases of communication apprehension,
substituting a recorded talk may be preferable to a live presentation
(Leeds & Maurer, 2009).
• Both positive reinterpretation and systematic desensitization are
highly effective methods for dealing with this problem as well.

32. Barriers to Effective Communication
• Earlier in the chapter, we discussed noise and its
disruptive effects on interpersonal communication.
• Now we want to check out some psychological
factors that contribute to noise.
• These barriers to effective communication can
reside in the sender, in the receiver, or sometimes
in both.
• Common obstacles include defensiveness,
ambushing, motivational distortion, and self-
preoccupation.

33. Defensiveness
• Perhaps the most basic barrier to effective communication is defensiveness—an excessive concern with protecting oneself from being hurt.
People usually react defensively when they feel threatened, such as when they believe that others are evaluating them or trying to control
or manipulate them (Trevithick & Wengraf, 2011).
• Motivational Distortion
In Chapter 7, we discussed distortions and expectancies in
person perception. These same processes operate in communication. That is, motivational distortion occurs when
people hear what they want to hear instead of what is actually being said. Each person has a unique frame of reference—certain attitudes, values,
and expectations—that can
influence what he or she hears. Information that contradicts
an individual’s own views often produces emotional distress. One way people avoid such unpleasant feelings is to
engage in selective attention, or actively choosing to attend
to information that supports their beliefs and ignoring information that contradicts them (Stevens & Bavelier, 2012).
Similarly, an individual may read unintended meanings into
statements or jump to erroneous conclusions. This tendency
to distort information occurs most often when people are
discussing issues they feel strongly about, such as politics,
racism, sexism, homosexuality, or abortion
• Self-Preoccupation
Who hasn’t experienced the frustration of trying to communicate with someone who is so self-focused that twoway conversation is impossible?
Self-preoccupied people
are engaging in what is called pseudolistening, or pretending to listen while their minds are occupied with other
topics that have captured their attention (O’Keefe, 2002).