John R. Williams discusses the harms of internet pornography and strategies for overcoming compulsive porn use in 3 sentences or less: Internet pornography is highly addictive and rewires the brain like drugs or junk food, damaging relationships, health, and morals. Overcoming porn addiction requires reducing triggers through boundaries, accountability, and replacing the habit with healthy relationships and activities while expecting and learning from relapses. The goal is to retrain the brain and heart to desire only one's spouse through developing purity.

1. The Internet Pornography Plague
Protecting Our Youth,
Our Friends, Ourselves
John R. Williams

2. Purity Is Power
 “When you enter your married life
after keeping your purity, you will
be able to love wholeheartedly.”
Father Moon
John R. Williams

3. The Pornography Problem
John R. Williams

4. What Would Be the Most Perfect
Kind of Recreational Drug to Sell?
John R. Williams

5. Internet Pornography–
Perfect “Drug”
1. Accessible 6. Appears harmless
2. Affordable 7. Adult-looking
3. Approved 8. All-new
4. Anonymous 9. Anything-goes
5. Abstinent-looking 10. Addictive
Almost half of all internet users look at porn
John R. Williams

6. What Is Internet Pornography?
Photos, videos, and online interactive media
designed to get people sexually aroused
Includes cybersex
• Simulated encounters through chatrooms,
webcam, avatars and other means
John R. Williams

7. Internet Pornography–
Destroying Innocence
7 years old: Age of Half of male and 1 in 6
first exposure female college students
 Children 12-17 spend up to 5 hours
years: Largest group online weekly for sex
of users  21% of males do daily
 Ads and searches  “I don’t know any BC
lead to porn sites boy who doesn’t struggle
 Pop-ups cannot with porn use”
be clicked off
John R. Williams

8. Porn, Girls & Women
28% of all 1. Often start by wanting to
porn users please men
are female 2. Drawn to chatrooms
 40% of  Intimate talk leads to
admitted sex talk and porn
addicts 3. Women are more likely to
under age act out their fantasies
35
 See in person those met online
John R. Williams

9. Why Is Internet Porn Enticing?
John R. Williams

10. Appeal of Internet Porn to Youth
1. Curiosity and wanting to understand about
sex, the opposite sex, and the adult world
2. Pleasure and excitement of sex
3. Sexy bodies, fantasy encounters
4. Variety and quick gratification
5. Escape from unwanted feelings, especially
loneliness
6. Feel wanted and powerful
John R. Williams

11. Anatomy of the Sex Impulse
Heart
 Seeks love and
oneness of heart with
Heart another
Physical Physical instinct
instinct  Seeks to substantiate
love in bodily oneness
Two aspects may get and lineage
confused
John R. Williams

12. Internet Porn Exploits
Male & Female Fantasies
The brain is the most important sexual organ
Men Women
 Arousal by sight of beauty  Aroused by
and body parts romantic
 Sex-focused partners, interaction
no affection or foreplay  Caring,
 Performance oriented cooperative
 Man in control partners
John R. Williams

13. Risks of Porn Use
John R. Williams

14. Damages Ourselves
 Corrupts the heart  Erodes self-
and mind with respect and
crude, unforgettable spiritual
images connections
 Teaches degrading  Blocks emotional
standards of man- growth and
and womanhood maturity
 Promotes insecurities  Desensitizes
 Enslaves
John R. Williams

15. Internet Porn Combines Power
of Video Gaming & Junk Food
Porn is even stronger than both because it
involves the deep need for love and sex
Videogaming Junk Food
High speed and Intensified version of a
exciting pleasurable need
Interactive control Always interesting
Entrancing Overrides natural
Always new and appetite
improved
John R. Williams

16. Internet Porn Has All Factors that
Make Activities Hard to Stop
These cause the brain to highly value something
1. Strong emotions 3. Thrill of the hunt
Surprise, excitement,  Searching and
anxiety, disgust finding what we want
2. Novelty 4. Exceeding
Newness, variety, expectations
promise of more  Unexpected bonuses
or dangers
John R. Williams

17. Compulsive Porn Use
Changes the Brain
Porn can reprogram the brain like too much
eating, gambling and video gaming
 Numbed response to normal pleasures
 Heightened response to things related to the
habit
 Shutdown of normal signals when “enough”
 Shrunken brain matter controlling reason and
self control
John R. Williams

18. Signs of a Serious Porn Habit
 Emotional numbness For males,
 Depression, irritability or depleted
sadness testosterone
accounts for
 Difficulty concentrating
many
 Social discomfort, isolation symptoms
 Chronic fatigue, little motivation
 Inability to cope without it
 Male failure to be aroused by a
real woman

19. Stages of Porn Compulsion I
1. Fascination, disgust
 Mixture of guilt, fear,
aggression and
pleasurable arousal
2. Desire for more
daring and exotic
images
 Former thrill wears
off; desensitized
John R. Williams

20. Stages of Porn Compulsion II
1. Fascination, disgust 3. Habitual use
 Mixture of guilt, fear,  Endless new images
aggression and  Hard to stop
pleasurable arousal  Dependent on mood-
2. Desire for more altering effects
daring and exotic (4. Acting out)
images
5. Despair
 Former thrill wears
 Use more porn to
off; desensitized
escape
John R. Williams

21. Damages Our Relationship with the
Opposite Sex
Harder to connect as siblings and friends
1. Reduces spiritual beings to being accessories
for our needs and fantasies
2. Promotes “shopping” mentality, based on looks
3. Creates impossible expectations
 Physical attractiveness
 Sexual and romantic behavior
John R. Williams

22. Damages Our Marriage
 Habit is likely to  Dissatisfaction from
persist comparing spouse to
 Teaches warped fantasy partners
ideas about sex,  Weakens desire for
desire and our spouse over time
performance  May create
 No sense of the dysfunction
unselfish effort  Deeply offends our
needed for satisfying spouse, like an affair
marriage John R. Williams

23. Effects of Masturbation
John R. Williams

24. Masturbation Multiplies the
Harm of Pornography
 Masturbation amplifies Two Types of
its addictive power Masturbation
 The brain bonds with 1. No sexual
what is related to fantasies
sexual release  Less harmful
 Connects porn to the 2. With images
highest pleasure, and fantasies
pain relief and comfort  More harmful
John R. Williams

25. Masturbation without
Images or Fantasies
 Self-soothing  Self-centered use of
physical release holy organs
 Grounded in body,  Compromise sense
no disconnection of proper position
 No misuse of and self-respect
imagination
John R. Williams

26. Masturbation with
Images and Fantasies
 Burns images into  Trains a multi-
brain and links them focused sexual
to highest pleasure arousal
 Mental adultery  Trains in sex
connects sex with ungrounded in
multiple partners our body and
 Invites compulsive relationship
porn use
John R. Williams

27. The Goal Is to Teach Our Brain to
Desire Only Our Spouse
 Purity sets up
one arousal
Spouse pathway in the
brain for maximum
fulfilment
Porn  Porn and
masturbation
(Partners)
divide pathway
Spouse and weaken bond
with spouse
John R. Williams

28. Masturbation Damages Lovemaking
in Marriage
 Builds habit of quick, reliable climax
without accommodating our spouse
 Trains in unnaturally strong and perfect
stimulation and frequent sexual release so
that married life may not satisfy
 With fantasies, the habit of sex mentally
disconnected from body and partner is likely
to leave our spouse feeling lonely and hurt
John R. Williams

29. Overcoming the Porn Habit
John R. Williams

30. Helpful Spiritual Efforts
1. Pray for help 3. Discipline the body
 Pray for other 4. Seek God’s heart
strugglers  Towards yourself
2. Read God’s words and opposite sex
 Learn God’s view of  Use affirmations
love, sex and marriage 5. Serve God
 Recognize the evil  Help others
behind pornography
John R. Williams

31. Kinds of Challenges of Overcoming
Any Bad Habit
1. Gain and maintain 5. Cope with the
motivation to problems caused
change by the habit
2. Stop the habit 6. Replace pleasures
of the habit with
3. Cope with urges positive “addictions”
4. Resolve the
underlying
problems behind
the habit

32. Overview of Basic Strategies
to Reduce Negatives
1. Get informed 7. Prepare for
2. Study your habit temptation
3. Aim to stop for a 8. Resist urges
certain period 9. Celebrate daily
4. Make clear successes
boundaries 10. Keep motivated
5. Get control 11. Expect relapses
6. Find accountability
allies
John R. Williams

33. Overview of Basic Strategies to
Build Up Positives & Grow
12. Meet the 15. Expand and
underlying fortify love
needs relationships
13. Exchange 16. Make healthy
support with new habits
others 17. Keep higher
14. Learn new happiness in
skills mind
John R. Williams

34. Reducing Negatives
John R. Williams

35. Overview of Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives
1. Get informed 7. Prepare for
2. Study your habit temptation
3. Aim to stop for a 8. Resist urges
certain period 9. Celebrate daily
4. Make clear successes
boundaries 10. Keep motivated
5. Get control 11. Expect relapses
6. Find accountability
allies
John R. Williams

36. Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives I
1. Get informed
 Understand the effect of the habit on your
brain, heart, thinking, and your marriage
and other relationships
 Learn about the porn business and how
porn is made
 Recognize how fake and distorted it is
John R. Williams

37. Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives II
2. Study your habit
 Triggers of porn Examine why you like it
use  What does it help you
 How the urges cope with?
come  What would you miss if
 Rationalizations you stopped?
 Cycles of use  Need to find a better
 Periods of no use way to satisfy those
desires

38. Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives III
3. Aim to stop for a certain period
 Stopping the habit allows your  Expect
system to rest and recover to feel
 The brain and spirit can begin depressed
to repair the damage and try at first,
to return to normal like losing
 The habit gets much weaker a great love
 Good feelings will outweigh the bad
 Between 30 and 45 days is effective
John R. Williams

39. Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives IV
4. Get control
If you can’t quit outright, Separate porn from
gradually taper off masturbation
 Do the habit on a Learn to
schedule masturbate without
 Reduce frequency images
 Break up the ritual— Giving up porn is
before, during and after harder
John R. Williams

40. Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives V
5. Make clear boundaries
 No more “playthings, playmates or
playground”
 Put computer in public area
 Use software monitoring
 Tell others your standards
John R. Williams

41. Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives VI
6. Find accountability 7. Prepare for
allies temptation
 No secrets  Anticipate and avoid
 Find special high risk situations
helpers to report to  Have 5 people to call
 Ask friends to  Have something to
monitor you distract yourself
John R. Williams

42. Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives VII
8. Resist urges as long as possible
 Addictions are the habit of satisfying an
urge to make it go away
 Urges come on strong, but they will end
 As you resist, they naturally fade in
intensity, frequency and duration

43. Dealing with Urges: Argue with
Overly Positive Expectations
Recalling only the upside of the habit feeds urges
1. Remember the downside 3. Imagine the worst
 Do you feel bad after possibilities
giving in?  Being discovered
 What other unpleasant by your wife
things result?  Being exposed in
2. Imagine talking a loved public
one out of viewing porn  Being unable to
perform in bed

44. Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives VIII
9. Celebrate daily successes
 Focus on one good choice at a time
 Praise any progress
 Appreciate your gains
 Study your progress to learn how to
keep it going
John R. Williams

45. Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives IX
10. Keep motivated
 Externalize List the benefits of stopping
porn as the  What do you dislike about
enemy this habit?
 What harm does it do?
 Reframe your
 What are you afraid might
struggle as a
heroic fight for happen if you don’t stop?
 How would your life
self and others
improve without it?
John R. Williams

46. Basic Strategies to
Reduce Negatives X
11. Expect relapses
 When stressed, New habits take time and
old urges will effort to develop
surface  6-9 months needed to
 Familiar way retrain the brain
to cope  Requires
perseverance with
the new behaviors
John R. Williams

47. Unhealthy Guilt and Despair Can
Fuel the Habit
Resist all-or-
nothing Stress & Porn
thinking Distress Use
 Feeds
self-hatred
and despair
Porn Guilt &
Use Despair
John R. Williams

48. Get Stronger from Relapses
Gain the lessons:  Quickly get back
1. You have faced a new on track
level of challenge  Admire your own
 Need to study it and strength
adjust  Don’t get
2. You misjudged the discouraged
temptation
 Or you misjudged your
level of skill
John R. Williams

49. For the Spouse of a Porn User
1. Get educated about 3. Find support
the habit  Fellow sufferers
 Keep your reactions  Counselor
and expectations for 4. Find others to
change reasonable help your
2. Be careful about spouse
learning details  Don’t be “porn
 May be too distressing police”
John R. Williams

50. Building Up Positives
John R. Williams

51. Overview of Basic Strategies to
Build Up Positives & Grow
12. Meet the 15. Expand and
underlying fortify love
needs relationships
13. Exchange 16. Make healthy
support with new habits
others 17. Keep higher
14. Learn new happiness in
skills mind
John R. Williams

52. Basic Strategies to
Build Up Positives & Grow I
12. Meet the 13. Exchange
underlying needs support with
 Cravings signal the others
need for love, etc.  Open up to let
 What distress are other strugglers
you avoiding? help you
 Face and address  Give the same in
specific fears return
 Check for  Learn by
depression John R. Williams
teaching

53. Basic Strategies to
Build Up Positives & Grow II
14. Learn new skills
 Dealing with emotions
 Stress release
 Managing conflict with others
 Problem solving
 Self expression
 Making friends
 Healthy bonding with others
John R. Williams

54. Basic Strategies to
Build Up Positives & Grow III
15. Expand and fortify love relationships
 Need good vertical  Fight any
and horizontal reluctance to
connections get close to
 To give care and key people
receive it  Father
 Non-sexual physical relationship
affection is important
John R. Williams

55. Basic Strategies to
Build Up Positives & Grow IV
16. Make healthy 17. Keep higher
new habits happiness in mind
 Exercise and rest  Remind yourself of
 Good engaging what you really want
activities  Use pictures and
 Harmless phrases
distractions
John R. Williams

56. Helpful Resources
1. Porn Filter and 4. Purity Education,
Accountability Support and Coaching
Software  YourBrainOnPorn.com
 Max.com  3xPureOnline.com
2. Filtered Internet  DrDougWeiss.com
 BSecure.com  CandeoHealthySexuality
3. Movie filter .com
 Maxplay.com
John R. Williams

57. John R. Williams, M.M.F.T.
 973.340.8642
 John.Coach1@gmail.com
John R. Williams