The document discusses the stages of personal change, emphasizing that change is a gradual process involving six stages: pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance, and termination. Individuals progress through these stages at their own pace, facing specific challenges and requiring different strategies at each stage. Additionally, the document outlines approaches to assist others at various stages and highlights the importance of respecting personal autonomy in the change process.

1. Moving Forward
Encouraging & Achieving
Positive Change in
Myself and Others

2. God Creates and Recreates
through Stages of Growth
1. All things pass through a process in time to grow and to
improve
2. When we want to change ourselves, we face two needs:
• To grow in knowledge, skills and maturity of attitude
• To tear down and replace the patterns we have already
established, and reverse the mistakes we have made

3. Personal Change Occurs in
Stages, Not in One Step
 Change is a process, not a single event
 The process of change always follows certain
stages
 We move through each stage at our own pace
and may get stuck in one stage
 Each stage involves different tasks and
challenges, and requires certain strategies
 No long-lasting change can be forced on us
from outside

4. 6 Stages of Change
1. Pre-Contemplation 4. Action
 “I don’t want to  “I’m changing”
change” 5. Maintenance
2. Contemplation  “I’ve changed”
 “Maybe I should 6a. Termination
change” 6b. Lapse
3. Preparation  “I made a mistake”
 “I’m getting ready to 6c. Relapse
change”
 “I can’t change”

5. Cycle of Change
6a.
Termination
1.
5.
Pre-
Maintenance
Contemplation
6b. Lapse
6c.Relapse
4. 2.
Action Contemplation
3.
Preparation

6. Overview of the
Stages of Change

7. Stage 1: Pre-Contemplation of Change
Not thinking about change
 Little or no awareness of a
problem
 “I’m OK--I don’t
need to change”  Or too discouraged to change
any time soon
 “I can’t change”
 Complacent and defensive
 “So I do that—
what’s the big  No interest in help
deal?”  Defends our actions

8. Common Defenses in this Stage
1. Denial 3. Blaming
 Or making the problem  Scapegoating
small or putting the
 “I get into a little trouble problem on others
with my bills sometimes”  “I wouldn’t do this if
2. Rationalizing you were nicer to
 Excusing the problem me”
 “It relaxes me”

9. What Moves Us Forward in Stage 1
A rude awakening 1. External pressures
 To overcome the  Family needs
unawareness or fear of  Work needs
change  The law
 Noticing the negative  Health needs
results of our habit
2. Internal pressures
When the pain of not
changing seems to Maturation
outweigh the pain of Fatigue or discomfort
changing Fear
Guilt
Feeling trapped

10. Stage 2: Contemplation of Change
Thinking about change “There may be a problem”
 Aware of bad results of  “I’m not sure I want to
our actions change, at least not yet”
 Conflicted, unsettled, u  “I guess I should do
ndecided something because if I
 Weighs the don’t…”
upside and  “Sometimes it’s bad but I
downside of can handle it”
changing  “I want to change but I’m
scared”

11. What Moves Us Forward in Stage 2
 Fight discomfort to learn  Use your imagination and
more about your books and movies to feel
habit, from authorities the real future costs of
and from people who not changing
know you
 Notice the real
consequences of your
habit for yourself and
others

12. Deciding about Change
Don’t Want to Change Want to Change
 What do I like about the  What don’t I like about
way things are now? the way things are now?
 What are the good points  What are the bad points
about the present about the present
situation, for me and situation, for me and
others? others?

13. Stage 3:
Preparation to Change
Motivated, committed and  Plans for change within
making plans the next month or so
 “I want to change and I  Gathers
am thinking about how to information, advice and
do it” support
 New focus on the solution  Freely admits how bad
more than the problem the problem is
 Builds up momentum and
confidence
 Takes small steps now
toward change

14. Planning & Preparation
Is Needed for Successful Change
 “What can I do? How can I change?”
 “What do I need to help me change and keep it
going?”
 “What information do I need? What skills?”
 “Where can I get training?”
 “Who can support me?”
 “What obstacles would I face? How would I cope
with them?
 “What do I work on first? Second? Third?”

15. What Moves Us Forward in Stage 3
1. Make SMART goals: 4. Review past successes
specific, measurable, act 5. Set a date and write down
ion- small steps to take action
oriented, realistic, time- 5. Tell others to help boost
based your motivation
2. Expect uncertainty; 6. Make backup plans for
call it an “experiment” bad days
3. Don’t procrastinate; 7. Expect your life to be
unbalanced at first
there is no perfect time
or perfect plan, and you 8. Focus on a better future,
not the problem
don’t have to know
everything

16. Stage 4: Action to Change
Actively changing  Try new actions, skills
 “I’m making the effort and attitudes
to change”  Adjust your environment
 “This is hard but it’s  Deal with discomfort and
getting better” resistance within yourself
 “It feels good” and from other people
 Focused, optimistic  Keep motivated through
enthusiastic short-term rewards
 Overcome obstacles one
day at a time

17. What Moves Us Forward in Stage 4
1. Remind yourself of the 5. Measure your results
long term benefits and 6. Replace irrational
any present rewards, to thinking with affirmations
offset the sacrifices and more reasonable
2. Keep your goals a thoughts
priority 7. Meet your needs for
3. Replace old habits with support—and help
healthy new practices to someone else
meet your needs better 8. Mentally rehearse or
4. Use reminders and cues role play the successful
to remember the actions handling of difficult or
you want tempting situations

18. Stage 5:
Maintenance of Change
Sustaining the change  Apply new skills and
 “I’m living in a new attitudes in shifting
way.” circumstances
 “I have to keep working  Anticipate and avoid
at this” temptations
 “I can’t give up after all  Celebrate progress and
my progress” enjoy gains
 The change is no  Keep the change going for
longer a major focus at least six months
 Confident, proud, until it becomes
steady permanent

19. What Moves Us Forward in Stage 5
1. Reach out to help others 5. Keep learning new
with the same problem information and skills
2. Vary routines to keep it 6. Be careful about
interesting letting your guard
3. Devise effective refusal down
skills to handle social 7. Put helpers on call
pressure 8. Expect lapses and
4. Adjust your lifestyle to prepare to recover
help sustain this change from them

20. Stage 6a:
Termination of Change
 “I don’t even think  May not be possible for
about it anymore” certain tendencies
 The new habit is now  Complacency and
second nature declaring victory too soon
 Beyond temptation to can lead to a lapse or
return to old behaviors relapse

21. Stage 6b. Lapse from Change
Single step backwards  “I slipped but I am
into old habits getting back on track”
 One mistake, caught  The challenge is to return
before it was repeated to the change and not get
 To be discouraged
expected, especially  Process goes back to
when stressed Stage 4 and 5, Action and
Maintenance

22. Stage 6c. Relapse from Change
Mistake repeated over and  Process goes back to
over Stage 1 or 2, Pre-
 “I can’t change— Contemplation or
it’s too hard” Contemplation
 Giving up and  Momentum is lost
surrendering to the old  Feeling guilty, defeated,
habits hopeless
 Motivation must be
revived and the decision
to change made over
again

23. What Helps Us Keep a Lapse from
Turning into a Relapse
1. Plan in advance how 2. Study each mistake to
to respond to a learn how to prevent
mistake another one
 Give yourself a penalty  Use a lapse to get
 Report to an smarter and stronger
accountability ally
right afterwards
 Allow a friend to take
action to help you get
back on track

24. Cycle of Change
6a.
Termination
1.
5.
Pre-
Maintenance
Contemplation
6b. Lapse
6c.Relapse
4. 2.
Action Contemplation
3.
Preparation

25. Helping in Each
Stage of Change

26. When Are the Best Times to
Help Someone Change?
1. Pre-Contemplation 5. Maintenance
• “I don’t want to change” • “I’ve changed”
2. Contemplation 6. Termination
• “Maybe I should change” 6b. Lapse
3. Preparation • “I made a mistake”
• “I’m getting ready to 6c. Relapse
change” • “I can’t change”
4. Action
• “I’m changing”

27. Always Respect Personal
Responsibility & Autonomy
Don’t try to talk someone into Wrong questions:
change before they are ready  “Why don’t you want
 They can spend all their energy to change?”
defending why they can’t or  “How can you say
won’t change you don’t have a
 The negative attitudes and problem?”
beliefs get more entrenched  “Why can’t you
 They forget their own doubts just…?”
about their habit This only leads to
 They see your attack on their defending their actions
autonomy as the problem
instead of the real problem

28. Help Them Find & Strengthen
Their Own Motivation to Change
1. They are 2. Listen to highlight their own
empowered only reasons to do something
by their own differently
conclusions 3. Help them clarify:
 Others’ views are  Disadvantages of the
irrelevant until present situation
they want to  Advantages of change
change
 Optimism for change
 Intention to change

29. Helping in Stage 1:
“I Don’t Want to Change” I
Encourage them to move towards considering a
change— gently, if possible
1. Don’t nag 2. Don’t criticize
 They’ll view you as the  Trying to make
problem someone want to
 They’ll tune you out please you by insulting
 Actions are usually them does not work
better than words 3. Don’t enable
 Don’t soften the
damage that their
problem brings to them

30. Helping in Stage 1:
“I Don’t Want to Change” II
Request a change without being 3. Declare what you
judgmental or demanding will do if it persists
Rather than telling them what to  “I will leave the
do, tell them what you will do in room.”
response to unwanted behavior 4. Reaffirm your
1. Ask for the change you want respect for their
 “Please speak to me autonomy
respectfully”  “You are free to do
2. Explain what is unacceptable what you like but I
 “Do not call me insulting will not listen to
names” disrespect.”

31. Helping in Stage 1:
“I Don’t Want to Change” II
1. Express empathy 2. Highlight differences
 Show you between desires and results
understand their  Help them explore the gap
view without between what they say they
criticism or judgment
want and what they see they
 Reflect back their are getting
mixed feelings of
both liking and  Don’t point it out; support their
disliking the habit own observations
 But don’t try to “fix”  Bring out their own motivation
their problem. to change, not yours

32. Helping in Stage 1:
“I Don’t Want to Change” III
3. Roll with resistance 4. Support self-
 Expect resistance effectiveness
 Change tactics; avoid  Affirm they are
direct opposition responsible for change
 Ask permission to share a  Express confidence that
different view they can change if they
 Don’t argue and cause ever decide to try
them to defend why they  Let them take the lead in
don’t want to change finding solutions
 Don’t alienate yourself  Show unconditional love
from them so it is safe to fail

33. Helping in Stage 2:
“Maybe I Should Change”
1. Tell them you know that 4. Acknowledge their mixed
they are in charge of feelings about changing
deciding if and when 5. Convey, “I will love you
they change no matter what”
2. Acknowledge that they 6. Offer information
are only considering it 7. Give observations rather
and not ready yet than confrontations
3. Help them clarify their 8. Reassure them that the
views on the pros and next step would be
cons of change preparation, not action

34. Helping in Stage 3:
“I’m Getting Ready to Change”
1. Offer information and 4. Relieve anxiety by
suggestions as much as reminding them you will
they seem receptive appreciate their courage
2. Tell them you’re proud of even if all does not go
them for making the well
change 5. Let them know you’d
3. Offer to help if they look celebrate even a small
overwhelmed change

35. Helping in Stage 4:
“I’m Changing”
1. Offer ongoing praise and 3. Follow their lead to
other rewards for their control their environment
effort 4. Don’t nag, preach, scold
2. Make it easier by joining or embarrass them
them in some of their unless you have
changes or at least permission
removing temptations 5. Forgive them for being
irritable or other faults
during this stressful time

36. Helping in Stage 5: “I’ve Changed”
1. Acknowledge how far they have come,
to help them not to take the change for
granted without nagging them
2. Don’t monitor their behavior unless invited
to
3. Offer support; make it safe for them to
confess a lapse

37. Helping in Stage 6:
“I Made a Mistake” or “I Can’t Change”
1. Help them acknowledge the effort and the
progress they have made
2. Convey your respect for how hard it is to stay on
course over a long period
3. Help them see this not as failure but as a natural
part of learning and developing skills

38. Resource
• Prochaska, Norcross and DiClemente, Changing
for Good (New York: Harper, 1995)