The document provides tips and strategies for effectively dealing with difficult people and resolving conflicts. It discusses understanding different perspectives, responding without blame or judgment, using active listening, and focusing on interests rather than positions to find mutually agreeable solutions. Key approaches include seeing others as people with their own needs and challenges, avoiding comparisons, clarifying assumptions, and making plans with accountability to address issues respectfully.

2. Dealing With Difficult People

3. The “Lunch and Earn” Facilitator S. Paul Kearley, CS Managing Partner, Dale Carnegie Business Group Author: MUST Thinking

4. There seems to be some perverse human characteristic that likes to make easy things difficult. ~Warren Buffett

7. Take an action Get a result Evaluate the result Make an adjustment Take an action How We Learn

8. The Conflict Cycle Event Interpretation Emotional Response Physical Response Attitude Response Effect

9. Conflict Response Scale Avoid Win-Win Approach Dictate Oblige Compromise Stand Our Ground Collaborate

10. How Do You View Yourself?

11. “ Better Than” Way of Seeing A heart at war needs enemies to justify it’s existence. It needs enemies and mistreatment more than it needs peace. View of Myself Superior Important Virtuous / Right View of Others Inferior Incapable / Irrelevant False / Wrong Feelings Impatient Disdainful Indifferent View of World Competitive Troubled Needs Me

12. “ I-Deserve” Way of Seeing View of Myself Meritorious Mistreated / Victim Unappreciated View of Others Mistaken Mistreating Ungrateful Feelings Entitled Deprived Resentful View of World Unfair Unjust Owes Me

13. “ Must Be Seen As” Way of Seeing View of Myself Need to be well thought of Fake View of Others Judgemental Threatening My Audience Feelings Anxious / Afraid Needy / Stressed Overwhelmed View of World Dangerous Watching Judging me

14. “ Worse Than” Way of Seeing View of Myself Not as good Broken / Deficient Fated View of Others Advantaged Privileged Blessed Feelings Helpless Jealous / Bitter Depressed View of World Hard / Difficult Against me Ignoring me

15. The Peacemaking Pyramid Correct Dealing with things that are going wrong Helping things go right Get out of the box / Obtain a heart of peace Teach & Communicate Listen & Learn Build the Relationship Build Relationships With Others Who Have Influence

16. The Choice Diagram Sense / Desire Seeing people as people with needs, cares, worries, fears that matter like mine Choice Honour the Sense I continue to see them as a person like myself Betray the Sense See others in ways that justify self betrayal. They become an object of blame My Heart Goes To War (Better-than, I-Deserve, Worse-than, Must-be-seen-as) View of Myself View of Other Feelings View of World

19. What do I think? Why do I think that? What evidence do I have? My example is… The evidence shows… Therefore, I think… Think Speak 1-4 seconds for “reflection” Responding Effectively in Impromptu Situations

20. Cushion Cushion Your Response Avoid Using I hear you saying … I understand you said… I appreciate your view on … That’s an interesting point of view … But … However … Nevertheless …

21. Disagree Agreeably What do I think? Why do I think that? What evidence do I have? My example is… The evidence shows… Therefore, I think… Think Speak 1-4 seconds for “reflection” Cushion

24. Conflict Resolution Plan Specific conflict People involved Plan of Action Results expected Accountability Partner

29. You are simply guiding the other person through the uncharted territory of current reality.

39. Conflict Inhibits Individual Growth

41. Charting Conflict-Based Barriers Barrier? Who owns this? What’s in the way? When did this begin? Impact? How should we address it? Why is this happening?