The document discusses how to handle crucial conversations and confrontations. It defines crucial conversations as discussions where stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong. Crucial confrontations address disappointments and failed expectations. The document then provides advice on how to handle forks in the road in one's career path, including calling on one's strengths and talents, fears, role models, getting a coach, defining success, and creating an action plan. It emphasizes the importance of networking and expanding one's circle of influence to move forward professionally.

1. Crucial Conversations Dr. Sarma May 18th 2011

4. They start with the question: “Why didn’t you do what you were supposed to do?”

5. End when a solution is reached and both parties are motivated and able to comply.”

6. If handled well, problems are resolved and relationships become stronger.accountability. Wednesday, June 22, 2011 Page 3 Saama Confidential

8. Do you hesitate about which way to go, now, with the rest of the working life.

9. Such a dilemma may occur due to yet another organizational change or merely due to a professional "mid-life crisis" (which can occur at any chronological age).Wednesday, June 22, 2011 Page 4 Saama Confidential

12. Crucial Confrontations

15. When you think you've exhausted your list, think of ten more!

16. Ask yourself:

17. What are my passions and interests in life?

18. What do I love to do, more than anything else?

19. What do I care about, more than anything else?

20. Identify ways to marry your passion and values to your professional contributionWednesday, June 22, 2011 Page 9 Saama Confidential

23. What am I afraid of?

24. What is keeping me from actively pursuing the path I'd really like to follow (right here within my current organization)?

25. What's the "pay off" for me to just stand at the fork in the road, all the rest of my professional days and never choose one path over another? What's the damage?

26. Is it really a "mistake" if I choose a path that turns out to be not right for me, after all...or can I see that travelling a little way down that road is part of the tapestry of my working wisdom in progress...and cut my own "dirt path" to the other road, if need be?

27. What is blocking me? Do I want to push through it, or do I want to stick with my current malaise all the rest of my days?Wednesday, June 22, 2011 Page 10 Saama Confidential

29. The other, "Indecision is a decision"...

30. Give yourself a "butt kick" and take some action...any action is better than no action, in many cases

31. Sometimes it's better to make a choice, and find out it's not right for you, after all, rather than not make any choice...ever and spend the rest of your days carefully avoiding your definition of "making a mistake"Wednesday, June 22, 2011 Page 11 Saama Confidential

33. Ask yourself:

34. Who are the people that I most admire? What are their qualities that make them so admirable in my eyes?

35. How can I fold these admired qualities into my own way of being, while still keeping my own sense of self and integrity?

36. What do I need to do to successfully incorporate those qualities into my personality?

37. Who are the people I can turn to when I need specific results?Wednesday, June 22, 2011 Page 12 Saama Confidential

39. Skill Builders - those willing to teach me new skills; help me brush up and refine old skills; suggest strategies for helping me to get the results I desire

40. Recommenders - those who suggest and help me identify the next steps to take to get me where I want to go; those who bring information to me without me even asking; let me know of new and existing opportunities and resources to help me move along; keep their ear to the ground with my advancement in mind

41. Challengers - those who pitch thought provoking questions and "what ifs" to keep me on my toes and stimulate my development; cause me to reconsider my strategies, approaches and plans; encourage me to hone my inter- personal and negotiating skills and provide me with opportunities to practiceWednesday, June 22, 2011 Page 13 Saama Confidential

43. Esteem Builders - encourage me; support and champion my positive self- image; help me identify and choose positive stories to tell myself

44. Connectors - those who directly or indirectly put me in touch with helpful people and/or information to move me forward; share information resources

45. Political Advisors - those who give me advice on how to approach various people and problems; they help me determine strategic and politically savvy ways to get things doneWednesday, June 22, 2011 Page 14 Saama Confidential

47. Even if you potentially can hold your own hand through some dark hours of the professional soul, “Get a Coach” Wednesday, June 22, 2011 Page 15 Saama Confidential

49. Ask yourself:

50. What do I want out of my life? My work?

51. How can a shift in career or the attitudes and behaviors I bring to my current position, promote and foster my life goals?

52. What are my life goals? Have I ever bothered to think of these? Is now a good time to (re)visit my life goals?Wednesday, June 22, 2011 Page 16 Saama Confidential

54. What does "success" mean to others around me?

55. What does "success" at my job / in my profession mean, within my organization?

56. How do I define success in my personal life?

57. How does "society's" prescribed definition of personal and professional success influence my own definition of this concept?

58. Do I suspect that my definition of success will change as I grow older? How?

59. How can I broaden my personal definition of success?Wednesday, June 22, 2011 Page 17 Saama Confidential

61. L.B.W.A. – Living By Wandering Around

62. Try the right brain exercise of mind-mapping or build a collage on the theme of where you want to professionally "go.” Map out with words, as well, practical, "do-able today" steps to move yourself forwardWednesday, June 22, 2011 Page 18 Saama Confidential

64. What two other things can I do within a defined and reasonable parameter of time, e.g. next 30 days, to move me forward even more?

65. What are at least two strategies for networking with others (who have something in common with me) that I am comfortable implementing immediately?

66. How many ways can I continue to expand my Circle of Influence (CI)?Wednesday, June 22, 2011 Page 19 Saama Confidential

67. Expand Your Circle of Influence Circle of Influence (CI) Center of Concerns (CC) Wednesday, June 22, 2011 Page 20 Saama Confidential

68. Summary Wednesday, June 22, 2011 Page 21 Saama Confidential

69. Wednesday, June 22, 2011 Page 22 Saama Confidential