This document provides an overview of conflict resolution training. It defines conflict and conflict resolution, and discusses the real causes of conflict such as system problems, ethical issues, and hurt feelings. It also outlines three ways people deal with conflict - ignoring it, being aggressive, or being assertive. The key is effective communication to resolve conflicts with ease and success.

1. Conflict Resolution Training
October 14, 2010

2. Define Conflict-when someone‟s behavior is
bothering you or offends you.
Conflict resolution- is teaching people new
ways to work through and resolve disputes
without escalating the situation.
The real causes of conflict-system problems,
ethical issues, differing work habits and
HURT feelings.

3. If I am not part of the problem, there is no
solution…
Maravelas, 2005
 Gossiping, enhancing your status, blaming
others creating cliques…
 The
avoider, complainer, pretender, bully, shout
and displace?
 Self -Assessment

4. Reasons Complain Avoid Pretend Bully Shout Dis-place
They must
know
Hurt
others
I can tell
someone
Afraid
Aggressiv
e
Blow-up
Had it
coming

5. Why don’t people resolve their conflicts
 You think the other person knows better
 Fear, still need to work together, it may be the boss
 You allowed it- you deserve it
 Afraid of what may happen
 Afraid of becoming aggressive
The Reality- You are unskilled at Conflict Resolution

6.  Instead of attacking the competence and
character of someone – seek a dialogue…
 Benefits- physical health, effectiveness,
relationships, productivity and personal
happiness.

7. Three ways we deal with
conflict
1. Ignore
2. Aggressive
3. Appropriately- Assertive

8. Key Messages about Conflict
 Conflict is neither good nor bad
 Conflict is inevitable
 Conflict does not have to result in winners and
losers
 In conflict both parties tend to believe that their
opinion is fact
 Too often both parties see themselves as
innocent victims who represent the side of truth
and fairness

9. 1. What „s bothering you?
 Be specific
 Don‟t label the person‟s behavior
2. What do you want the other person to
do?
3. What are you going to do?
A Climate of Respect and Appreciation
Assume Positive Intentions

10.  Thinking patterns- reflexive
 Word choices
 Body language- non-verbal messages
 Listening
 Eye contact
 Facial expressions
 Voice
 Gestures

11. The essence of conflict resolution and
conflict management is the ability to
communicate effectively. People who
have and use effective communication
will resolve their conflicts with greater
ease and success.

12. •I would appreciate
•Can we
•Several times we have talked about this--- I
am_________ feeling inserted
•It has been brought to my attention
•I am concerned
•I am confident we can find a solution
•I think
•I need
•I disagree
•I didn‟t know

13.  Rude tone of voice
 Having people ask you to do something “
right now”
 Employees respond negatively
 Too busy
Let‟s break into group

14.  You only have control of one of the two
parties involved in the conflict and resolution.
 Set ground rules, find common interests, listen,
brainstorm and discuss.
 Train your brain- STOP !!! Think and react
slowly- know your triggers

15. Contact Past New choices Brainstorm
Reaction Negotiate Understanding Follow- thru
experience
Feeling Questions Agreements
CONFLICT!!
Something A visual and Stop What will it take Agreement/solutio
happens auditory What are the true to move n
Your body memory occurs needs? forward? Implement
reacts- how explain Ask new Are you willing What can I learn?
does that feel What does it questions to communicate? What is possible if
– explain remind you of? Can you tell me What would you people
Breathing Physical more? like to see communicate
changes reaction Begin to negotiate happen? kindly, clearly and
Thinking You cause Statements like;“I What will it concisely?
skills conflict with need” or “I would take? Re-evaluate
Listening your reactions! like” Brainstorm
skills

16. Benefits to good communication and conflict
resolution skills- relaxed conversations,
cooperation increased, gossip decreased,
willingness to address problems and
agreements met and kept.
 People listen to different ideas
 Increased participation
 Increased ownership and commitment

17.  Gain awareness of how you present
yourself- your confrontation style
 Assume positive intentions
 Have a confrontation – when
necessary – be kind, clear and concise
 Learn how to reduce conflict in your
life- use humor correctly, be polite, be
considerate, don‟t interrupt, be
sincere, eye contact,

18. Westminster’s Communication Contract
The real causes of conflict-system problems, ethical
issues, differing work habits and HURT feelings.
Practice-Practice-Practice