What do you mean by Negotiating?
What do you understand by
Successful negotiation can‟t occur
without successful communication.
Developing Relationships through
Eight steps to successful
As defined in the dictionary
It‟s the art of reaching agreement through an
effective exchange of information.
It involves give and take about a disagreement.
Disagreement occurs within a Relationship.
Negotiation could be redefined as
“Negotiation is the resolution of a
disagreement, using give-and-take within the
context of a particular relationship. It involves
sharing ideas and information and seeking a
mutually acceptable outcome.”
Developing successful negotiation requires:
1. Learning the process of negotiating
2. Understanding yourself
3. Building better relationships
Facts about Negotiation
1. What can I do to keep my perspective when
negotiating is not easy?
2. What can I do to understand that negotiating
is a process?
3. What can I do to create mutually satisfactory
4. What can I do to learn about the differences
5. What can I do to improve my attitude?
Fundamental Elements of Negotiating
Process: Can be divided into two parts
Preparing to negotiate:
Understanding appropriate behaviour
Process of negotiating
The Environment of negotiating
The data for negotiating
People: Emotions, Communications, Perceptions
Bargaining power : Concept of PAK (Power, Authority and
Criteria for evaluation
Theory of Needs propagated by Abraham
Maslow and B.F. Skinner
Model for understanding Emotions and
Unmet Needs Emotions Behaviour /
Value Fear / Anger Retaliate
Reframing Needs and Emotions During
1. Has this happened to me before
2. What kind of commitment exists in the
3. What else is bothering me?
4. What do I stand to lose if don‟t get what I
Who Owns the Problem?
1. The other person owns the problem.
2. I own the problem
3. There is no problem
4. We own the problem
Emotional Barriers to Negotiating
Hot Button response
When you realize that an emotional response is
stifling your ability to negotiate well, you need to
address the problem directly, like this:
Define the Problem
Share your feelings
Tell what you or prefer
Suggest the outcome that will follow
When you negotiate it‟s important to:
Express your feelings objectively.
Attack the problem, not the person.
Build relationships as you negotiate.
Create a positive environment, not a negative one.
Problem-solve in a positive way.
Three possible healthy relationships one have in
a lifetime are:
All these relationships show in one‟s negotiating
Negotiating with the Four Gifts of
To experience empowerment you need to follow
1. Make the decision to empower.
2. Communicate empowerment.
3. Recognize that feelings stem from behaviour.
How You Speak Means More Than What You Say
93 percent of our communication comes through
Body language includes:
1. Voice Pitch (how high or low the voice sounds)
2. Intonation (emphasis placed on certain words)
3. Gestures (the way hands, arms and legs move)
4. Eye Contact (looking at someone directly or
5. Proximity (how close to someone you stand or sit)
6. Facial Expression (a smile or frown)
“S-O-F-T-E-N” AS A NEGOTIATING TECHNIQUE
F FORWARD LEAN
E EYE CONTACT
4 WAYS TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY
AVOID ESCALATING WORDS
ALWAYS OR NEVER SHOULD HAVE
OUGHT TO HAVE BUT
COMMUNICATE YOUR PREFERENCES
FOR MORE EFFECTIVE NEGOTIATIONS
Make „I‟ Statements
Preparingto Negotiate – Prepare mentally
and emotionally to know yourself and other
Toget ready – understand the motives of
others, avoid assumptions, know the
specifics of the subject being negotiated and
focus on the interests of each person.
of winning is important to carry into
the negotiation process.
Self-reflection or Self-evaluation
What do I want out of this negotiation?
How am I likely to behave?
What will trigger my hot-button?
Do my requests fit who I am and what I want in life?
Are my expectations realistic for this situation?
Evaluate the real reasons you are negotiating.
Assess how you‟ll behave when the negotiation is
How will I behave if I get what I asked for?
How will I behave if I don‟t get what I‟m asking for?
What am I willing to settle for?
Determine your bottom line for compromise.
Following steps will help one prepare, understand
self better, and communicate to the other party:
Prepare list of acceptable alternatives.
List your interests. Don‟t be confined by rigid
Gather support material that can help explain
yourself and your needs to others.
Analyze the personalities of others
Ask other persons about the other negotiating party.
Two types of questions to gain information about
the needs of your counterpart –
open ended – to know more about your counterpart.
closed questions – to get commitment and to test where
your counterpart stands.
Avoid negative assumptions about others‟
beliefs, values, attitudes and behaviour.
Often you think you‟re ready to negotiate
and fail to do your homework because you
assume you have the information needed
to negotiate successfully.
Avoid assuming that another person is out
to harm you. Generalizations cause
trouble by perpetuating false
FOCUS ON INTERESTS
Primary Objective – Focus on the interests of
the people involved, not their position.
Use the following four steps to understand
Ask for the objections – encourage open dialogue – ask
open ended questions
Listen to the objections – avoid impulse to jump in.
Acknowledge the objections
Classify the objections according to main categories.
Smoke Screen Objections
STEP 1 You are dissatisfied
STEP 2 You want to be satisfied (WIN)
STEP 3 You want the other party to be
STEP 4 You choose winning feelings about
yourself and others.
STEP 5 You choose winning assumptions about
yourself and others
STEP 6 You choose winning behaviours
STEP 7 You have winning outcomes
MENTALLY PREPARING FOR SUCCESS BY “SELF-TALK”
It‟s important to look at why we behave the way we do.
Analyze the following to understand yourself better:
Programming – application of your experiences
Beliefs – Images about yourself, higher order, others,
Attitudes and feelings – The bridge between beliefs and
Behaviour – The manifestation of programming, beliefs,
attitudes and feelings.
Use “Self-Talk” to reprogram behaviour by:
Forgiving and forgetting
Seven Ways to Negotiate – Active and Passive
1. Ignore / deny
3. Leave or withdraw
Which sweater you would wear would depend
on P-A-K – Power Authority Knowledge
1. Define the Problem
2. Look for what you have in common
3. Recognize multiple interests
4. Look toward solutions rather than the problem
5. Focus on benefits for both parties
6. Determine a time to evaluate and make
7. Reinforce commitment after you‟ve agreed.
When someone says “No”
Don‟t take it personally
Have plans “B” and “C” ready
Suggest a temporary postponement
Dissolve tension by using the three magic phrases:
Step-by-step process for handling difficult people:
1. Listen 2. Repeat to clarify
3. Disengage to clarify 4. Use interruptions to
5. Discuss option 6. Ask for solutions
7. Keep records