Communication of Mr.Le Duy Quang

1. Working with Difficult People
Le Duy Quang

2. Let’s Know……
• Why people are difficult
• Types of difficult behavior
• Coping skills and techniques to help you
communicate

3. Why Are People Difficult?
• People feel
– Rushed — not enough time
– Insecure
– Angry
– And have some need or interest
•Stressed!!!

4. Scenario 1

5. A Difficult Person Can Be ...
• Hostile-Aggressive
• Know-It-All
• Yes-Person
• Whiner
• Never-Say-A-Word
• Indecisive Staller
• No-Person

6. Hostile Aggressive
AKA “The Tank”
• Bullies their way toward
the results they want.
• Belittles you in front of anyone.
• Tries to convince you that you are
doing a poor job when you are doing
fine.

7. The Know-It-All
• Controls people and events by dominating
conversation with lengthy, imperious
arguments.
• Tries to find flaws in
everything.

8. The Yes-Person
• Answers “Yes” to every request without
thinking about what is being promised .
• Has deep-seated anxiety and a lot of
resentment.
• Seeks approval and avoids disapproval.
• And even if all the promises can be kept,
the Yes-Person no longer has a life!

9. The No-Person
 Able to defeat big ideas with a single syllable
 Deadly to morale

10. The Whiner
• Avoids taking responsibility.
• Wants sympathy.
• Has negative view of the world.
• It’s important for these people to get their
opinions across. If you ignore them, they
increase their protests.

11. The Never-Say-A-Word
AKA “The Clam”
• Timid, uncomfortable, and uncertain.
• Wants to avoid conflict or hurting anyone.
• Often feels angry because “the wrong
decision” was made.
• Some can’t relate authentically or speak
honestly.

12. The Indecisive Staller
• Could be an overwhelmed “Yes-Person.”
• Could be a procrastinator.
• Has reservations about the project.
• Doesn’t organize or
prioritize work.

13. Difficult Person :Coping Plan
1.Assess the “Situation”
2. Stop wishing they were “different”!
3. Get distance between you and the difficult
behavior
4. Formulate a plan for interrupting the
interaction
5. Implement strategy
6. Monitor coping process
7. Modify or abandon plan, if necessary

14. Dealing with “The Tank”
• If possible, get them to sit down.
• Don’t back down. Let them vent. Don’t take
it personally. Step away from the emotion.
• Identify their issue–the facts of the matter.
• Explain benefits of your point of view.
Express your side in factual terms.
• Allow aggressor to “save face.”

15. Dealing with the Know-It-All
• Know your facts. Be prepared.
• Listen carefully and paraphrase the main
points.
• Use questions to raise issues.
• If necessary, subordinate yourself to avoid
static and commit yourself to building a
more equal relationship in the future.

16. Dealing with the Yes-Person
• Work to get to the underlying issues.
• Tell how much you value them as people.
• Give them permission to say “No.”
• Ask them to tell about any aspect of your
product that is not as good as the best.
• Listen to their humor -- hidden messages?

17. Dealing with the No-Person
• Work to get to the underlying issues.
• Find out the reason for disagreement
• Show the other side
• Show the benefits

18. Dealing with the Whiner
• Don’t respond if they are blaming you.
Don’t sympathize if they are at fault.
• Make a list of all complaints from constant
complainers before you discuss problem.
• Make sure the facts are correct.
• Make the Whiner propose solutions to fix
the problem.

19. Dealing with “The Clam”
• Try to draw them out about topics that are
non-threatening.
• Ask open-ended questions.
• Wait for a response -- calmly.
(Don’t fill the silence with your chatter.)
• If you get no response, comment on what’s
happening. End your comment with an
open-ended question.

20. Dealing with the Staller
• Help document their goals and deadlines
• Listen for indirect words, hesitations.
• Ask them how you can help them achieve
their goals.
• Follow up on intermediate deadlines.
Hold them to the deadlines.
• Make it easy for them to tell you what is
preventing their action.

21. Scenario 2

22. And What
About
You...

23. It’s All About ATTITUDE!
• You are not going to change THEM.
• You will have to work with THEM.
• You are the one who can make the change.
• Make it happen!
• Be Positive

24. Principles of Human Behavior
• All people are motivated .
• You cannot motivate others ; you can
provide the environment, skills, etc.
• People do things for their reasons, not ours.
• We are all different...
Relationships should complement and
complete each other.

25. Communication Is The Key...
• Be clear about what is to be done.
• Be clear about who is to do it.
• Two parts to the message
– Speaker has an image
– Listener has an image
– Are they the same?

26. Offline Coping Techniques
• Don’t take their behavior or words
personally.
• Write down details of what annoys you.
• Think about why it annoys you.
• Which of your buttons does this person
push? Why do you respond to them in the
way you do?

27. Offline Coping Techniques (continued)
• How would you like to respond? List the
advantages of different responses.
• Monitor yourself.
• Give yourself positive feedback when you
succeed in not getting caught up in the
emotions of difficult people.
• Be a happier person by handling all those
you encounter with charm and grace.

28. Some Final Tips
• Give support where needed.
• Be an information broker.
• Learn to keep it light.
• Don’t forget to
smile.