This document provides an overview of effective communication strategies when dealing with different personality types. It discusses 10 key personality types, labeled as "Tanks", "Snipers", "Grenades", etc. For each type, it outlines typical traits, potential problematic responses to avoid, and recommended goal and strategies. Some strategies discussed include blending to build rapport, redirecting conversations, understanding emotions and viewpoints, and using techniques like AMPP (Ask, Mirror, Paraphrase, Prime) or STATE (Share facts, Tell story, Ask paths, Encourage testing). It also explains a model for how individuals typically respond to stimuli through a path of seeing/hearing, telling a story, feeling, and acting. The document

1. Effective Communication
Because not everyone is easy to communicate with.

2. Introduction
 “Dealing With People You Can’t Stand” by Dr. Rick Kirschner and Dr. Rick
Brinkman
 “Crucial Conversations” by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, and Switzler
 These two texts will frame our discussion for this session.
 Intended outcomes of this session:
 We will discuss the top 10 personality types and how to communicate
effectively and efficiently when they are at their worst.
 Learn different techniques to unlock the doors to people‘s minds, hearts, and
needs.
 Transform negativity to work in your best interests.
 Internal perspective on how you are viewed by other people!!

3. Terminology – Keys to Success
 Blending – reducing the differences between you and other people to meet them where
they are to build rapport (First)
 Redirecting – using the established rapport to change the trajectory of the conversation
(Second)
 Understanding – 1. Emotional – people feel that you understand what they are feeling; 2.
Intellectually – people believe that you understand what they are saying
 Backtracking – repeating back some of the actual words that other people are using. **No
translating or paraphrasing; No blanket repeating!!**
 Pygmalion Power – making individuals conform to your internal goals and intentions. I.e.
Chicago Public Schools example, Children example.
 Polarity – intentionally using negative stimuli to get positive response from subject
 AMPP – Ask to get things rolling, Mirror to confirm feelings, Paraphrase to acknowledge the
story, & Prime when getting nowhere
 STATE – Share your facts, Tell your story, Ask for others’ paths, Encourage testing

4. Personalities 101
The Lens of Understanding.
• Vertices – Task People,
PassiveAggressive
• All lead to understanding the
individual & behavior types
• Sometimes people move in &
out of zones, depending on
the situation at hand.
• Move out of the Danger Zones
and move into the
Cooperation Zone

5. Tank – Sniper – Know it All
High Aggressive, High Task Oriented.
“The Tank”
When you’re under attack by the Tank, you’ve been
targeted as part of the problem.
Traits:
• Loud, aggressive, forceful, ends justify the means
Typical Response (Don’t Do)
• Counterattack – Patton vs. Rommel
• Defend, Explain, or Justify – has no interest in this.
• Shut down – become a nothing person and let them roll
over you.
Your Goal: Command Respect
• They don’t attack people they respect
How???
1. Hold your Ground
2. Interrupt the attack – say their name over and over!
3. Backtrack their main point
4. Aim for the bottom line & fire – First Person
5. Peace with honor – be assertive, but nice!

6. Tank – Sniper – Know it All
High Aggressive, High Task Oriented. (Also People)
“The Sniper”
The Sniper will place well placed shots to undermine your
productivity and come out in control.
Traits:
• Rude comments, eye rolling, biting tone of voice
Typical Response (Don’t Do)
• Counterattack – Fire with fire
• Your emotions will spill over into your response, use
caution…
Your Goal: Cool. Calm. Collected.
• What would Elsa do?
How???
1. Stop, look, backtrack.
2. Use searchlight questions – Intent & Relevancy
3. Use Tank Strategy if needed – Stand Ground!
4. Grievance Patrol – Find out in private what the deal is…
5. Suggest a civil future – talk it out.

7. Tank – Sniper – Know it All
High Aggressive, High Task Oriented.
“The Know it all”
The know it alls are very competent, assertive, and
outspoken. Tread lightly…
Traits:
• Controlling, close minded
Typical Response (Don’t Do)
• Counterattack – Fire with fire
• They have done their homework on the topic. Experts
on subject matter. Come prepared!
Your Goal: Open their minds.
• New information, New ideas.
How???
1. Be Prepared. Know you stuff!
2. Backtrack, respectfully.
3. Blend with their doubts & desires!
4. Present your ideas indirectly- Quick & Cautious.
5. Establish a mentoring relationship – they will respect
this.

8. Grenade – Sniper – Know it All
High Aggressive, High People Oriented.
“The Grenade”
The grenade has lost it. Reason, control, temperament.
Who pulled the pin???
Traits:
• Immediate demand for attention, blowing up, losing
control of situation
Typical Response (Don’t Do)
• Blow up at them for blowing up
• Quietly withdraw and despise from a distance
Your Goal: Take control of the situation.
• Create the circumstance for control.
How???
1. Get the person’s attention – remember tank?
2. Aim for the heart – show concern. Tell them what they
need to hear.
3. Reduce the intensity – voice & non-verbals.
4. Take a time out. Come back after specified time.
5. Prevention. Find the pin and don’t pull it!!

9. Grenade – Sniper – Think They Know it All
High Aggressive, High People Oriented.
“The Think They Know It All”
The ‘think they know it all’ is “THAT GUY” at parties, jack of
all trades, master of none.
Traits:
• Know just enough to sound conversant in topics,
exaggerates, defensive when challenged.
Typical Response (Don’t Do)
• Challenge them aggressively
• Burst their bubble
Your Goal: Give their bad ideas the hook.
• Remove them from the act
How???
1. Give them a little attention – Backtrack with
Enthusiasm, Acknowledge intent positively.
2. Clarify for specifics – You know, they don’t.
3. Tell it like it is. Kill them with facts. Use “I” language
4. Give them a break. Don’t embarrass them.
5. Break the cycle. Two ways : 1. Gently confront with
truth and 2. Give credit where credit is due.

10. Maybe – Yes – Nothing People
High Passive , High People Oriented.
“Maybe…”
The Maybe person can’t make a decision because negative
outcomes blind their abilities.
Traits:
• Indecisive, procrastinating
Typical Response (Don’t Do)
• Don’t show irritation!!
• Don’t push them into a decision, they will find more
excuses & doubts.
Your Goal: Help them learn to think decisively.
• Give them a strategy for decision making and the
motivation to use it!
How???
1. Establish and maintain a comfort zone.
2. Surface conflicts and clarify options.
3. Use a decision making system – Pro/Con list
4. Re-assure them and ensure follow through.
5. Strengthen the relationship. This builds loyalty.

11. Maybe – Yes – Nothing People
High Passive , High People Oriented.
“The Yes Person”
The Yes person can’t say no because of their intrinsic need
to get along with others.
Traits:
• Disorganized, Over committed, Overwhelmed
Typical Response (Don’t Do)
• Be quick to blame, they will shut down.
• Make them feel shame, only perpetuates the problem.
Your Goal: Get commitments you can count on!
• Make it safe for them to be honest.
How???
1. Make the communication environment safe & open for
honest committal of tasks.
2. Talk honestly – could be hidden issues
3. Help them learn to plan – keep promises!!
4. Ensure commitment – you must follow through after
promise made. (pg. 144)
5. Strengthen the relationship. This builds trust with the
yes person. (pg. 145)

12. No – Whiner – Judge People
High Task , High Passive Oriented.
“The No Person”
The No person finds negativity in everyone and everything
else. Not a fun person to be around.
Traits:
• Grumpy, Negative, Pessimistic
Typical Response (Don’t Do)
• Don’t cast blame directly at them.
• Do not feel contempt for their lack of energy &
enthusiasm.
Your Goal: Transition to problem solving.
• Move from fault finding toward solving the issues at
hand.
How???
1. Listen for main points and focus on bringing them to
light.
2. Use them as resources – build your own character by
staying positive around No people!
3. Give them a little more time on tasks – Patience!!
4. Polarity response – Depressed client example…
5. Acknowledge their GOOD Intent – compliment them
on their high standards of perfection.

13. No – Whiner – Judge People
High Task , High Passive Oriented.
“The Whiner”
The Whiner stems from the intent to get it right, but needs
someone to close the gaps.
Traits:
• Uncertain, hopeless, helpless, annoying
Typical Response (Don’t Do)
• Don’t agree, disagree, try to solve their problems
• NEVER ask them why they are complaining, unless you
want them to start all over…
Your Goal: Form a problem solving alliance
• Remove the feelings of helplessness to identify
solutions.
How???
1. Listen for main points and focus on bringing them to
light. (Same as “No” person)
2. Interrupt and pull the specifics out of them.
3. Shift the focus to solutions – “What do you want”
4. Show them the future – set goals & deadlines
5. The Last Straw – Draw the line in the sand.

14. No – Whiner – Judge People
High Task , High Passive Oriented.
“The Judge”
The Judge sets high standards that no one can meet, then
criticizes shortcomings at attempt.
Traits:
• Black & white (no gray), perfectionist, condescending
Typical Response (Don’t Do)
• Don’t get defensive, ever.
• Make big leaps of logic to battle the Judge.
Your Goal: Get the Judgment dismissed
• Show you tried your best without getting defensive.
How???
1. Acknowledge the judgment and move on. “Thanks for
…”
2. Return to sender – BACKTRACK to show specifics
3. Appeal the sentence – cancel their generalization
4. Go for the Polarity Response – College or Weight
example
5. Give them a glimpse of greatness – 1. State your
positive intent & 2. Be specific about the problem
behavior

15. How do you respond? What happens?
 The Path to Action is an internal response to stimuli.
 The response pattern is consistent among humans, but the
outcome/action is always unique to the individual.
 Understanding this path can help you slow down the reaction,
leading to more productive dialogue.

16. See & Hear Tell a Story Feel Act
The Path to action – How we respond.
The Path to Action
This happens internally and blindingly fast.

17. Activity Time!!
 Role play – Can you identify the personality type??
 How do you fix it?
Your Communication Style Under Stress
How do you react when conversations suddenly move from smooth
and easygoing to tense or awkward?
This 33-question test will explore how you typically respond when
you’re in the middle of a stressful situation.

18. Thank you for your time!
Questions? Comments?