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Presenter: Adrianna Bond
   Hard Conversations:          KIPP Through College
Managing Parent Relationships   August 3, 2011
Our Agenda

Please Do Now
3 Conversations
Doggie Dyad
Smokey the Bear
Case Study #1
Case Study #2
Takeaways
Goodbye!
Our Objectives

You will be able to:

• Identify key techniques for managing crucial
  conversations.

• Apply the techniques to analyze a parent’s perspective
  and determine next steps for a HSP counselor in a case
  study.
The single biggest problem in communication
    is the illusion that it has taken place.

                       -George Bernard Shaw
Please Do Now

Think about the most difficult
 conversation you had with a parent this
 year.

 • Share two (2) things that you could have done
   differently with your table.
Our Agenda
Please Do Now
3 Conversations
Doggie Dyad
Smokey the Bear
Case Study #1
Case Study #2
Takeaways
Goodbye!
Difficult Conversations
“What happened”   Feelings   Identity
Three Conversations

 •The “What Happened” Conversation

 •The Feelings Conversation

 •The Identity Conversation
The “What Happened” Conversation

Disagreement about what has happened or what
 should happen. (p. 7)

Questions to ponder:

• Who said what?

• Who did what?

• Who’s right?

• Who’s to blame?
The Feelings Conversation

Address and answer questions about
 participants’ feelings.

Questions to ponder:

• Are my feelings valid?

• Should I ignore my feelings?

• What about the other person’s feelings?
The Identity Conversation

The impact of the conversation on each
 participant.

Questions to ponder:

• Am I competent or incompetent?

• Am I a good or bad person?

• Am I worthy of love or unlovable?
Our Agenda
Please Do Now
3 Conversations
Doggie Dyad
Smokey the Bear
Case Study #1
Case Study #2
Takeaways
Goodbye!
Listening as a Tool

3 listening skills:

1. Inquiry-Ask open-ended questions for
   understanding. (p. 174)

2. Paraphrase-Summarize your understanding of
   what the other person is saying. (p. 178)

3. Acknowledgement-A sign that you identify the
   emotional content of what the other person is
   saying. (p. 181)
Dyads: Two ears are better than one

• Find a partner near you and face one another.

• Each person is given equal time to talk. (1 minute 30
  seconds)

• The listener does not interpret, paraphrase, analyze, give
  advice or break in with a personal story.

• Confidentiality is forever!

• Thank your partner for listening and switch.
“What happened”   Feelings   Identity
Our Agenda
Please Do Now
3 Conversations
Doggie Dyad
Smokey the Bear
Case Study #1
Case Study #2
Takeaways
Goodbye!
What does this image have to do with
  managing parent relationships?
“Only you can prevent forest fires!”

Neglected parent relationships and poor communication
             can become like forest fires.

• In the next 7 minutes, brainstorm “forest fire” prevention
  tips in response to common communication pitfalls that
  HSP/KTC counselors encounter.

• Be prepared to share with the entire group.
“What happened”   Feelings   Identity
Our Agenda
Please Do Now
3 Conversations
Smokey the Bear
Case Study #1
Case Study #2
Takeaways
Goodbye!
Role Plays
Let’s get ready to rumble!
Confidentiality is
  FOREVER!
Role Play Framework

              Role Play-10 minutes

        Feedback-5 minutes (2-3 people)

         Whole Group Debrief-7 minutes
Feedback model

4 steps for giving effective feedback:

1. Ask-“May I give you some feedback?”

2. State the behavior-“When you…”

3. Describe the impact-“I noticed that…”

4. Next steps
Confidentiality is
  FOREVER!
Our Agenda
Please Do Now
3 Conversations
Smokey the Bear
Case Study #1
Case Study #2
Takeaways
Goodbye!
Role Plays
Let’s get ready to rumble!
Confidentiality is
  FOREVER!
Role Play Framework

              Role Play-10 minutes

        Feedback-5 minutes (2-3 people)

         Whole Group Debrief-7 minutes
Feedback model

4 steps for giving effective feedback:

1. Ask-“May I give you some feedback?”

2. State the behavior-“When you…”

3. Describe the impact-“I noticed that…”

4. Next steps
Our Agenda
Please Do Now
3 Conversations
Smokey the Bear
Case Study #1
Case Study #2
Takeaways
Goodbye!
Think-Pair-Share



  Share with
 your partner
 •What is your
    biggest
takeaway from
 this session?

 •How will you
   apply it?
Search for this presentation (and more!) following KSS.

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Hard Conversations: Managing Parent Relationships

  • 1. Presenter: Adrianna Bond Hard Conversations: KIPP Through College Managing Parent Relationships August 3, 2011
  • 2. Our Agenda Please Do Now 3 Conversations Doggie Dyad Smokey the Bear Case Study #1 Case Study #2 Takeaways Goodbye!
  • 3. Our Objectives You will be able to: • Identify key techniques for managing crucial conversations. • Apply the techniques to analyze a parent’s perspective and determine next steps for a HSP counselor in a case study.
  • 4. The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. -George Bernard Shaw
  • 5. Please Do Now Think about the most difficult conversation you had with a parent this year. • Share two (2) things that you could have done differently with your table.
  • 6. Our Agenda Please Do Now 3 Conversations Doggie Dyad Smokey the Bear Case Study #1 Case Study #2 Takeaways Goodbye!
  • 8. “What happened” Feelings Identity
  • 9. Three Conversations •The “What Happened” Conversation •The Feelings Conversation •The Identity Conversation
  • 10. The “What Happened” Conversation Disagreement about what has happened or what should happen. (p. 7) Questions to ponder: • Who said what? • Who did what? • Who’s right? • Who’s to blame?
  • 11. The Feelings Conversation Address and answer questions about participants’ feelings. Questions to ponder: • Are my feelings valid? • Should I ignore my feelings? • What about the other person’s feelings?
  • 12. The Identity Conversation The impact of the conversation on each participant. Questions to ponder: • Am I competent or incompetent? • Am I a good or bad person? • Am I worthy of love or unlovable?
  • 13. Our Agenda Please Do Now 3 Conversations Doggie Dyad Smokey the Bear Case Study #1 Case Study #2 Takeaways Goodbye!
  • 14.
  • 15. Listening as a Tool 3 listening skills: 1. Inquiry-Ask open-ended questions for understanding. (p. 174) 2. Paraphrase-Summarize your understanding of what the other person is saying. (p. 178) 3. Acknowledgement-A sign that you identify the emotional content of what the other person is saying. (p. 181)
  • 16. Dyads: Two ears are better than one • Find a partner near you and face one another. • Each person is given equal time to talk. (1 minute 30 seconds) • The listener does not interpret, paraphrase, analyze, give advice or break in with a personal story. • Confidentiality is forever! • Thank your partner for listening and switch.
  • 17. “What happened” Feelings Identity
  • 18.
  • 19. Our Agenda Please Do Now 3 Conversations Doggie Dyad Smokey the Bear Case Study #1 Case Study #2 Takeaways Goodbye!
  • 20. What does this image have to do with managing parent relationships?
  • 21. “Only you can prevent forest fires!” Neglected parent relationships and poor communication can become like forest fires. • In the next 7 minutes, brainstorm “forest fire” prevention tips in response to common communication pitfalls that HSP/KTC counselors encounter. • Be prepared to share with the entire group.
  • 22. “What happened” Feelings Identity
  • 23.
  • 24. Our Agenda Please Do Now 3 Conversations Smokey the Bear Case Study #1 Case Study #2 Takeaways Goodbye!
  • 25. Role Plays Let’s get ready to rumble!
  • 26. Confidentiality is FOREVER!
  • 27. Role Play Framework Role Play-10 minutes Feedback-5 minutes (2-3 people) Whole Group Debrief-7 minutes
  • 28. Feedback model 4 steps for giving effective feedback: 1. Ask-“May I give you some feedback?” 2. State the behavior-“When you…” 3. Describe the impact-“I noticed that…” 4. Next steps
  • 29. Confidentiality is FOREVER!
  • 30. Our Agenda Please Do Now 3 Conversations Smokey the Bear Case Study #1 Case Study #2 Takeaways Goodbye!
  • 31. Role Plays Let’s get ready to rumble!
  • 32. Confidentiality is FOREVER!
  • 33. Role Play Framework Role Play-10 minutes Feedback-5 minutes (2-3 people) Whole Group Debrief-7 minutes
  • 34. Feedback model 4 steps for giving effective feedback: 1. Ask-“May I give you some feedback?” 2. State the behavior-“When you…” 3. Describe the impact-“I noticed that…” 4. Next steps
  • 35. Our Agenda Please Do Now 3 Conversations Smokey the Bear Case Study #1 Case Study #2 Takeaways Goodbye!
  • 36. Think-Pair-Share Share with your partner •What is your biggest takeaway from this session? •How will you apply it?
  • 37.
  • 38. Search for this presentation (and more!) following KSS.