The success of a counselor hinges on his or her ability to effectively manage relationships with parents and guardians. This session will highlight useful tools for effective parent communication and key techniques to approach difficult conversations through an interactive case study.

1. Presenter: Adrianna Bond
Hard Conversations: KIPP Through College
Managing Parent Relationships August 3, 2011

2. Our Agenda
Please Do Now
3 Conversations
Doggie Dyad
Smokey the Bear
Case Study #1
Case Study #2
Takeaways
Goodbye!

3. Our Objectives
You will be able to:
• Identify key techniques for managing crucial
conversations.
• Apply the techniques to analyze a parent’s perspective
and determine next steps for a HSP counselor in a case
study.

4. The single biggest problem in communication
is the illusion that it has taken place.
-George Bernard Shaw

5. Please Do Now
Think about the most difficult
conversation you had with a parent this
year.
• Share two (2) things that you could have done
differently with your table.

6. Our Agenda
Please Do Now
3 Conversations
Doggie Dyad
Smokey the Bear
Case Study #1
Case Study #2
Takeaways
Goodbye!

7. Difficult Conversations

8. “What happened” Feelings Identity

9. Three Conversations
•The “What Happened” Conversation
•The Feelings Conversation
•The Identity Conversation

10. The “What Happened” Conversation
Disagreement about what has happened or what
should happen. (p. 7)
Questions to ponder:
• Who said what?
• Who did what?
• Who’s right?
• Who’s to blame?

11. The Feelings Conversation
Address and answer questions about
participants’ feelings.
Questions to ponder:
• Are my feelings valid?
• Should I ignore my feelings?
• What about the other person’s feelings?

12. The Identity Conversation
The impact of the conversation on each
participant.
Questions to ponder:
• Am I competent or incompetent?
• Am I a good or bad person?
• Am I worthy of love or unlovable?

13. Our Agenda
Please Do Now
3 Conversations
Doggie Dyad
Smokey the Bear
Case Study #1
Case Study #2
Takeaways
Goodbye!

15. Listening as a Tool
3 listening skills:
1. Inquiry-Ask open-ended questions for
understanding. (p. 174)
2. Paraphrase-Summarize your understanding of
what the other person is saying. (p. 178)
3. Acknowledgement-A sign that you identify the
emotional content of what the other person is
saying. (p. 181)

16. Dyads: Two ears are better than one
• Find a partner near you and face one another.
• Each person is given equal time to talk. (1 minute 30
seconds)
• The listener does not interpret, paraphrase, analyze, give
advice or break in with a personal story.
• Confidentiality is forever!
• Thank your partner for listening and switch.

17. “What happened” Feelings Identity

19. Our Agenda
Please Do Now
3 Conversations
Doggie Dyad
Smokey the Bear
Case Study #1
Case Study #2
Takeaways
Goodbye!

20. What does this image have to do with
managing parent relationships?

21. “Only you can prevent forest fires!”
Neglected parent relationships and poor communication
can become like forest fires.
• In the next 7 minutes, brainstorm “forest fire” prevention
tips in response to common communication pitfalls that
HSP/KTC counselors encounter.
• Be prepared to share with the entire group.

22. “What happened” Feelings Identity

24. Our Agenda
Please Do Now
3 Conversations
Smokey the Bear
Case Study #1
Case Study #2
Takeaways
Goodbye!

25. Role Plays
Let’s get ready to rumble!

26. Confidentiality is
FOREVER!

27. Role Play Framework
Role Play-10 minutes
Feedback-5 minutes (2-3 people)
Whole Group Debrief-7 minutes

28. Feedback model
4 steps for giving effective feedback:
1. Ask-“May I give you some feedback?”
2. State the behavior-“When you…”
3. Describe the impact-“I noticed that…”
4. Next steps

29. Confidentiality is
FOREVER!

30. Our Agenda
Please Do Now
3 Conversations
Smokey the Bear
Case Study #1
Case Study #2
Takeaways
Goodbye!

31. Role Plays
Let’s get ready to rumble!

32. Confidentiality is
FOREVER!

33. Role Play Framework
Role Play-10 minutes
Feedback-5 minutes (2-3 people)
Whole Group Debrief-7 minutes

34. Feedback model
4 steps for giving effective feedback:
1. Ask-“May I give you some feedback?”
2. State the behavior-“When you…”
3. Describe the impact-“I noticed that…”
4. Next steps

35. Our Agenda
Please Do Now
3 Conversations
Smokey the Bear
Case Study #1
Case Study #2
Takeaways
Goodbye!

36. Think-Pair-Share
Share with
your partner
•What is your
biggest
takeaway from
this session?
•How will you
apply it?

38. Search for this presentation (and more!) following KSS.