This document discusses various types and causes of conflict, as well as principles and methods for resolving conflict in constructive ways. It addresses conflict within individuals, between individuals, within families and larger social groups. The document presents a framework for understanding the root causes of conflicts and provides guidance on reflection, making amends, forgiveness, and reconciliation to restore harmony. It emphasizes taking responsibility for one's role, making restitution for harm done, and fostering understanding between opposing parties with help from mediators when needed.

1. Causes & Resolution
of Conflict
© 2002 International Educational Foundation
IEF is responsible for the content of this presentation only
if it has not been altered from the original.
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2. Harmony —
What People Desire
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3. Conflict Within the
Individual
 Stress
 Anger
 Selfhatred
 Addiction
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4. Interpersonal
Conflict
 Marital tension
 Family strife
 Disputes with
friends &
neighbors
 Conflict at work
or school
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5. Social
Conflict
 Legal
disputes
 Ethnic
tension
 Abuse of
power
 War
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7. Principle of
Interaction
Giving
Subject
Role
Object
Role
Responding
 Giving precedes
receiving
 Requires subject &
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8. Conflict Begins Within
the Individual
SelfishnessUnselfishness
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9. Harmonious Interaction
Centers on a Higher
Purpose
Higher
Purpos
e
Subject
Role
Object
Role
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10. Unselfishne
ss
Self-control
Humility
Service
Living for Others
Forgiveness
Generosity
Basis of Goodness
Fairmindedness
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11. Selfishness
Lust
Arrogance
Exploitation
Living Only for Oneself
Prejudice
Vengeance
Greed
Basis of Evil
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12. Four Position Base
for Interaction
Higher
Purpos
e
Subject
Role
Center
Object
Role
New
Developmen
Interactio
n
Outcome
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13. Family Conflict
Members pursue
self-interest
over
the welfare of
family
 Infidelity
 Money issues
 Sibling rivalry
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14. Social
Conflict
Groups and
nations
pursue selfinterest
over the greater
good
 Abuse of power
 Ethnic tensions
 Legal disputes
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15. Ancestral Sources of
Family Conflict
 Ancestral distortions of
love are passed on

Parents’ limitations lead
to the
child’s psychological
difficulties
 Dysfunctional family
traditions continue from
 Alcoholism
 Infidelity
generation to
 Spousal abuse
 Gambling
generation
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16. Sources of National
Conflict
 National crimes
burden
future generations

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17. “We never get rid of an enemy by meeting
hate with hate; we get rid of an enemy by
getting rid of enmity.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.
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18. Individual Choice —
Resolve
or Repeat Past Conflicts
Past
Each person
passes on either
the problem or
the solution
Future
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19. Does Fighting Resolve
Conflict?
 Fighting can be necessary

For self-defense

To defend the weak
 Fighting does not resolve
conflict


Defeating an enemy does not
answer
his grievances or end his
hatred
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20. Settlements Alone Do
Not Resolve Conflicts
 Genuine reconciliation is
needed

Deep hostility must be
resolved
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21. Elements of Conflict
Resolution
Unselfishness
Selfishness
Right
Loving
Relationship
Wrong
Broken
Relationship
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22. Basis for Conflict
Resolution
State of
Harmony
Restored
Lost
State of
Conflict
Indemnity conditions
Efforts to reverse
the process by which
the original harmony
was lost
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23. Step1 — Reflection &
Reorientation
 Consider how one might
Unselfishness have dealt with the
problem differently

What could be done better
next time
 Decide to take
Selfishness
responsibility for one‘s
contribution to the conflict
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24. Step 2 — Reversal &
Restitution
Right
Wrong
 Reverse whatever
caused the other to
feel hurt and violated
 Make restitution to
repair damage done
 Be open to receive
restitution
 Correct injustice
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25. Step 3 —
Reconciliation &
Renewal
Loving
Relationship
 Give up claim to
retaliation
 Forgive and be open
to receive
forgiveness
Broken
 Resolve to help the
other change
Relationship
 Foster good will
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26. Restorational
Conflict
Resolution
Step 1. Reflection
&
Reorientati
on
Step 2. Reversal
&
Restitution
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27. Responsibilities of
Offender
& Offended
Offender
Offended
 Admit wrong
 Make
restitution
 Continue
until
forgiven
 Consider own
faults
 Accept
restitution
 Forgive
One person may stand in both
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28. Conflict Resolution in
Schools
 Opportunity for
character growth
 More effective
within
a general
character
education effort
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29. Give Students Choices
 Challenge students
to analyze and
suggest solutions
to conflict
 Expand students’
repertoire of
responses
to provocation
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30. Coach in Communication
Skills
 Help students
restate conflicts in
terms of
their feelings
instead of blaming
and accusing
 Have both sides
articulate
the other’s
viewpoint
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31. Foster Respect & Empathy
to Reduce Conflict
 Set an example of
respectful
handling
of disputes
 Teach that
demeaning
words and
attitudes can do
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more damage

32. Employ Group Dynamics
 Use class
meetings
as forums to
deal
with
disagreements
 Use roleplaying
to explore
options
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33. Classroom Conflict
Resolution Options
 Encourage students to
resolve conflicts
themselves
 Use peer mediation
 Teacher serves as
mediator
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34. Family Strife
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35. Family Members Can
Seem
Like Worst Enemies
 Closeness increases
trust and expectations

Opportunity for greater
hurt and betrayal

Can be hardest to forgive
 May feel permanently
trapped

Temptation to divorce,
cheat or emotionally
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37. Who Becomes the
Peacemaker?
 More mature and
selfless one among
those in conflict
 One who takes
responsibility to resolve
the conflict

Initiates efforts of
reconciliation
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38. Suggestions for Marital
Conflict Resolution
 Create a safe context for
communication

Select time, place and
strategy wisely
 Focus on changing
oneself,
not the spouse

Take responsibility for
one’s own contribution to
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39. Suggestions for
Marital
Conflict Resolution
 Depersonalize the
issues

Experiences prior to
marriage and gender
differences can be the
source of many clashes
 Practice acceptance
of what cannot be
changed
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40. Suggestions for
Marital
Conflict Resolution
 Find gratitude for
one’s spouse

As the other parent
of
one’s child

As a source of
personal growth
 Seek an elder’s
viewpoint
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41. Mediation —
Support for
Conflict Resolution
 Involves neutral and
trusted helper outside
the conflict
 Aids both sides to find a
basis
for constructive
interaction
 Mediator is only a
facilitator
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42. Attitude of Mediator
 Concern for both sides
 Affirms the value of both
sides
 Gains trust from both
sides that each is being
treated fairly
 Aims for a win-win
outcome
 Guides both sides
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43. Mediation Skills —
Towards the Offender
 Help the offender accept
responsibility
 Encourage admission of
wrong
 Help the offender accept
the challenge of
restitution
 Avoid labeling and blaming
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44. Mediation Skills —
Towards
the Offended
 Help the offended
forgive and
release grudges
 Help the offended
recognize own faults
 Help the offended to
accept an apology
 Foster harmony and
friendship
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46. Value of Resolving
Conflict
 Frees up time and
energy to create and
progress

Ends the waste of
resources involved in
defense and aggression
 Heals and liberates
the individual
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