Elder family mediation can help resolve disputes that arise regarding care, finances, health decisions and inheritance for aging parents. When important family decisions need to be made, mediation allows each person to be heard and helps the family work towards a consensus resolution. This process can strengthen family bonds and ensure professionals have support when providing services to older clients and their families. Examples that may benefit from mediation include disputes over living arrangements, medical treatment, managing assets and dividing property after a death. The goal is long-term solutions that satisfy all involved and avoid litigation or permanent damage to family relationships.

1. Elder Family Mediation
Elder and Disability Law Forum
May 30, 2012
Charlie Robinson
Clearwater, FL
www.charlie-robinson.com
elderlaw@charlie-robinson.com

2. Family Dispute Resolution
Family disputes
can impair or
destroy the
professional’s
ability to provide
workable client
solutions.

3. Failure to resolve these disputes can result in
 Lifetime of hard feelings
 Litigation
 Problem may
never be solved

5. When
 Any serious family issue that needs a family
decision may lend itself to elder family
mediation and strategic planning.
 The threat of litigation is not necessary but a
need to feel the family can and should
resolve the issue is necessary.
 Everyone in the family will be heard and
understand and hopefully support the
resolution of the problem.

6. Why
Elder Family Mediation may keep the family
together and arrive at a sensible consensus
resolution to the dispute.

7. Advantages
 Less costly than
◦ litigation
◦ no decision at all
 Family long range strategic plan
Not family counseling

8. Results
The consensus solution should be better than
any individual proposals initially presented

9. Examples:

10.  Kids from first marriage complaining about
Medicaid planning
 Fights about personal property among kids
◦ with a will or not
◦ tchotchkes (trinkets)
◦ not cash or even the house

11. Health
 Physical, emotional, or mental decline
 Health and safety concerns
 Independence and self-determination versus
safety including driving.

12. Care
 Disputes over placement and
cost of care for failing parent
 Residence and long term care
decisions
 Caregiver issues
 How to compensate the
caregiver child

13. Decisions
 Advance directives
who makes what decisions
 Medical treatment decisions
 End of life decisions

14. Finances
 How to handle parents’ investment portfolio
and choice of financial advisor
 Financial concerns and tax issues
 Consider selling the house and other
valuable assets

15. Death
 Death of spouse
 Burial disputes
 Inheritance disputes

16. The Rescuer
 Swooping - flying in from out of town and
trying to resolve many issues in a short
period of time.
 Often runs over the sibling who has provided
hands on care for some time.

17. Any family situation that is not resolved that
needs resolution

18. Every professional serving elders and their
families can identify with the examples
illustrated here. If the decisions to be made
are important to the family, the elder family
mediation process may make the family
stronger than it was before the need for
mediation and at the same time allow the
professional to do a better job where all
clients are pulling together and in the same
direction.

19. Professional Serving Elders
Decisions important to the family
Process may make the family stronger
Allow the professional to do a better job
Everyone pulling together for shared goal

20. The Darling Family Story
Putting the pieces together

21. The Process
 Each family has a unique, often tacit
understanding of how decisions are made
and conflicts resolved known as their
“dispute system.”
 Mediation is a good way to review and
reconsider this dispute system
 Consensus building model process:
◦ Convening
◦ Conflict assessment
◦ Agenda building

22. Intake
Understand the issues.
The mediator asks each family member to
provide a summary of the issues and where
they stands on each of the issues the family is
facing.

23. Private Sessions
The mediator will often meet privately in
person or on the telephone to listen to each
person’s story and gain perspective on each
family member’s perspective.

24. Family Meeting(s)
 Help resolve the issues
 Meeting summary and follow up

25. Everybody is Heard

26. Goal
Work toward long term solutions
Satisfied constituencies

27. Avoid taking a vote and thus creating a
discontented minority

28. Periodic Consensus
 Wholeheartedly agree –
Good idea
 Will support –
Can live with this
 Have reservations –
Want to talk
 Have serious concerns –
Must talk
 Cannot be part of this –
Must block it

29. Results
 Happy Family
 Best Care of Senior
 Financial Security
 Defined Goals
 Plan of Action

32. Visit our Web Site
www.Charlie-Robinson.com
www.CharlieRobinsonFuturist.com
Or Email Comments to
Elderlaw@Charlie-Robinson.com
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33.  These are to
make you
laugh Charlie
feel free to
delete