The Cassius Marius Bachelor Challenge, Day Four

!  Well, hello there, Mr. Uglacy. It's an honor to have you host this chapter of the Cassius Marius
Bachelor Challenge, in which we are trying to Squeaky Clean my simself's wayward Romance
Sim son from Ten Caesars.
!  "Why are the ladies not all over the Gagemeister?"
!  Well, they might be if this was the Gage Bachelor Challenge, but that's already being written.
Can we have a house tour first?

!  "Yeah, sure, I know you chicks go in for all that Better Homes and Gardens crap.”
!  Honestly, even as a guest, even though he will never get played here, I cannot have Gage in my
game without building him a miniature Palace O Love. Can we see the inside?

! 
!  Mm, yes, Gage. It certainly is unique.

!  "The Gagemeister is hoping Candi will go for it big time. Now that she's back on the market and
all."
!  Yes, Gage, Candi was just eliminated last round, but you know, that doesn't mean she'll be
interested in you now.
!  "Pshht. Impossible."

!  Meanwhile, over at our modest little villa, I was trying to think of more ways to make Cassius’
life miserable.
!  "Prof, I was thinking. I’m worried. Cassius isn’t calling obsessively. And I haven’t even met his
new roommates.”
!  "What a splendid idea! Go call him and ask him to bring all his little friends.”
!  Actually, he can only bring three, so that will be Marina, De, and Renee, while Orikes stays at
home this time.

!  “Son! How are you doing? Are you behaving very well?”
!  "I'm feeling very well, Ma."
!  ”That is not the same thing. In fact, the two things rarely go together.” *
!  ______
!  *Shamelessly stolen from Oscar Wilde.

!  I have no idea what Cassius just told me about Gage Uglacy, but somehow it made me drop my
jaw in shock and made us best friends at the same time.
!  Because of the weird timing, Cassius gets there just as the welcome wagon is arriving, which his
Dad Flavius is always thrilled to see.

!  Flavius: Hurray! I get to meet somebody new!
!  That's Blite27 of Ten Caesars. He's your Legacy author. You've talked to him dozens of
times.
!  Flavius: But not here! Here is totally different!
!  Well, alrighty then.

!  Honestly, I was going to take my chances here and see what happened when the whole household
was over at my place on free will. But I changed my mind, and here's why.
!  De would not keep her hands off Cassius. She went right for him the second they were both on the
lot, and Renee was about to see. And somehow, since that happened to her in the Gage Bachelor
Challenge, I couldn't really do that to her. I know she's totally evil everywhere else—heck, even in
my own game—but not in this challenge. So I sent Flavius to the rescue, as he wants to be best
friends with his own son anyway.

!  Flavius: So, Cassius, how about that Marina, huh? She's really a neato girl, isn't she, huh?
!  She seems to be a fan of yours, too, Flavius.
!  De: Awww, I was getting along so well with Cassius, but it's sweet to meet his daddy.

!  The whole thing ended in a disastrous door pileup that made Gage and Flavius frustrated and
actually made Renee cry, for heaven's sake. I had to use moveobjects_on to fix it.

!  Anyway, Flavius, I'm sure you enjoyed making a new best friend.
!  "Yeah! And that De, wow! Isn't she a neat girl? I mean, isn't she, huh?"
!  Yes, I notice that you barely know her and you have two bolts for her. Evidently you and your kid
have similar taste in women, but luckily, you're much too clueless to figure out what you want to
do about it.

!  Flavius: I am so mad right now.
!  Why, for heaven's sake?
!  "Because while all that was going on, some stray cat came in and destroyed our couch!"
!  Hmm. I was wondering what that pile of garbage was, and then I noticed the couch was gone.

!  So meanwhile, back at Bachelor Central, we have to move on to the Challenge, and now I
remember why I stopped playing for a little while, even though this is incredibly fast compared to
the several households-five top businesses-Pet Heiress-Legacy-way too many kids I usually do. In
fact, even the lots move much faster. I stopped because from here on in, things will only get uglier
Cassius: Zzzzz, snork, Ma. Go away.
No. It's time for that hot tub thing again.
Cassius: Can't it wait? I was just having an awesome dream about me.
No.

!  Marina: Wheee! Orikes, isn't it incredible how much fun things are when Cassius isn't anywhere
around?
!  Clearly not a fan of his, and I wish I could say that everyone shared her opinion.
!  There's room in the hot tub for three people. Three of them are upstairs, and De, who likes
Cassius best, is downstairs at the buffet, so I figured she'd miss her chance for sure this time. But
no. And why?

!  Renee: Ahhh wahhah hah! I'm such an unhappy Family Sim!
!  No, she didn't figure out that Cassius is a scumball; then at least we could all enjoy watching him
get slapped. She's just a Family Sim whose needs aren't being met, and her aspiration meter is
dangerously red. So she's late for the hot tub, even though it's only steps, away and has to soak all
alone. I truly hope she gets eliminated this round, because she is desperately unhappy.

!  Meanwhile, in the hot tub, Cassius is being his usual charming self—
!  Cassius: Yeah, whatever, I hate sunny lovely days. Sue me.
!  --although he is getting better at masking his feelings.

! 
!  Cassius: Yeah, you're cute, sure. Daisy. Fine.

!  Marina is back to needling him on a sensitive subject.
!  Marina: Pinkety-pink-pink-pink!

!  And after the hot tub date, everyone, except for Marina, still seems to think he's dreamy, or at
least ok.
!  Psst, Renee. Those pretty little mountains on the wallpaper? They're volcanoes. 'Nuff said.
!  Tonight we have to do "share interests" and the optional Slow Dance, and I am taking some
Dramamine right now, because I will be sick.

!  De: So, Cassius, Marina said something about pink? You like it, or don't like it, I don't know?
!  Wisely, he keeps silent at this point.

!  The first to share interests and dance with is Renee.
!  Cassius: So I think suitcases are interesting, because anybody who doesn't like me can get the
heck out of here.
!  Works like a creepy charm.

!  Cassius: So, ok, getting more to *my* interests, how about a slow dance?
!  Renee: Why, Cassius, I thought you'd never ask!
!  NB: You will not see any pictures of "lower hands" here. It's too gross. I will say, however, that
every lady who agreed to slow dance with him let him do it, and that's enough on that.
!  Now, what's Renee thinking?

!  Renee: Mmmm. Lure them into security. Let them think I care. You look like plant food to me!
!  Yes, the guy looks like plant food to me, too, and I can only hope that is what you're thinking.

Things do not go well with Marina. Not at all. Incidentally, if you're wondering where everybody
else is, they're either on the bubble blower or asleep in bed.

!  Marina: Eeeew, daisies. I hate daisies and all of daisykind!
!  Pretty clever, considering she was there when he went on the record as pro-daisy, huh? She is a
Knowledge Sim, after all. And—

!  Marina: Slow dance? Mister, are you out of your mind?
!  Marina, I am soooo proud of you right now.

!  Next up is De. She is sweet and absolutely lovely to look at in game. No matter what ridiculous
vintage get up I put her in, she looks great in it. It breaks my heart that she likes this jerk so much.
!  De: Oooo! Cassius wants to *talk* to me!

!  Cassius: So, De, I was just thinking about the fact that the original silent Ben Hur is far superior to
the much better known one starring Charlton Heston.
!  Pfft, that's nonsense. You only know that because you're my simself's son and I think Ramon
Novarro is the second sexiest man who's ever lived, the first being Rudolph Valentino.

!  And besides, I think Cassius should know about Ben Hur. Isn’t that Roman enough for you?

Cassius: Also, remind me to tell you sometime about certain completely unsubstantiated rumors about
Novarro and Valentino and the use of certain objects. *
!  De: Wow, Cassius, you're so cultured!
!  _______
!  * Don’t ask.

!  De: Ooo, he's cute!
!  Cassius: Yum, yum.
!  Step BACK, Cassius, I have the power to zap you dead. Touch her and die!
! 
!  Actually, he's going to in a minute, because we're now into the (barf) slow dance, but I had to
send De into the shower because Orikes woke up. When she was safely downstairs playing pool,
then we could move on.

!  And what does he do when she's in the shower? Dance, if you can call it that. Yes. He looks
grouchy even when he's dancing.

!  Not at this point, though.

!  I don't know exactly what want De fulfilled here, probably to be best friends, but then, I wasn't
watching too closely. Now it's downstairs to Orikes while De is sent off to slumberland.

!  Cassius: Yeah, Orikes, I gotta share interests with you, too? I'm running out of steam for this.

!  And Orikes steps on Cassius' Achilles Heel:
!  Orikes: Sooo, Cassius, what do you think about pink?

!  Cassius: Oh, well, pink, well, I'm glad you asked that ‘cause my Ma writes the Squeaky Clean
Legacy and that is totally pink. Mmm-hmm, yes sir, they don't come more pro-pink than I am.
!  Well, now you're just being a lying little kissup, and I say that as your mother.

!  Cassius: Yeah, so I hate jewelry too. I say if I'm giving out jewelry, I'd better be getting something
back, know what I mean?

!  We'll skip showing the slow dance. All you really need to know is that when it was all over, they
parted with a mutual crush, and still, nobody in the house has a clue that they are not the only girl
for him.

De: Ooo, Cassius, I even dream about him.
!  I could not for the life of me figure out what she sees in him. I mean, ok, she's a Sim, not a
person, and they're not always the brightest, but still. Then she tossed up the following revealing
dream bubble.

!  De: I mean, he must be nice because I met his father, and his father is so sweet.
!  Oh, dear. Yes, Flavius is dorky and oafish, but there is no getting around the fact that there isn't
an ounce of malice in him, not even when he's trying. But they are nothing alike, De, nothing at
all, and don't go by the personality points. Flavius is officially "not very nice" on paper, but
Cassius is truly horrible.

!  Meanwhile, Renee continues to teeter on the brink of aspiration failure. Now I almost wish I'd
gotten the stupid puppy, because what she wants now is to be best friends with Cassius (possible);
to get married (not happening anytime soon); to have a baby (WHAT?? She actually rolled that
want? I can't believe it!); and to be best friends with Purple Bunny, which she can't do, because PB
is living in the Sim Bin.

!  Marina's not super happy either—none of them are—but I can at least get her cheered up a little
by letting her reach Logic Level Two, which perks up any Knowledge Sim.

!  Oh, no you don't, De! I caught you heading off to "relax" in Cassius' bed this time, and you are
not going there! Go to the bathroom, which is what you need to do anyhow!

!  Nice things about Cassius Marius:
!  1. He makes his own bed in the morning.
!  2. There are no other nice things.

!  Oh, for heaven's sake, Renee is so miserable that it's agonizing to watch.

!  This is why when Orikes attempts to go admire her, I encourage her to go and do it. It doesn't
exactly help, but at least it distracts her and makes her feel liked.

!  Cassius has to flirt with everybody three times today before noon. Sigh.
!  Cassius: Yeah, so Great Auntie Renee, I gotta flirt with you now, which should be fine because
I'm totally into blood relatives.
!  Yuck.
!  ___
!  Renee is a relative in Ten Caesars, but in all fairness, not here.

!  I make him go for "Caress" because I am really, really hoping she will shoot him down, but she
doesn't. Then I go for the other one that often backfires.

Hold hands. Not shown--that he grimaced horribly on being asked to do it. Also note that he has
become fat. Fatness is a big problem in a Bachelor Challenge, because the Sims are using the
buffet table and chowing down all the time. Most of them have put on some weight, but
somehow, not De, who continues to look like Betty Page.

!  This is what I've been using to keep everybody occupied while caddishness goes on in the next
room, and so far it's worked very well. OK. Now it's Marina's turn. Lucky girl.

!  Marina: HUH. I don't like you. Forget it.
!  And that was on "Charm." Cassius pretends he doesn't care.

!  Marina: Are you kidding? What part of "no" don't you understand?

!  Cassius: Aw, Ma, for crying out loud.
He really doesn't want to try again because he knows there's no point, but rules are rules. And in
the interests of full disclosure—

!  --yes, Marina does swoon over him, but that's only because he's a Romance Sim.

!  Marina: Ew. I wouldn't have thought it possible, but somehow you get less and less appealing the
longer I know you.
!  That's telling him!

!  Cassius: Yo, Orikes, get over here and get flirted with, pronto!

!  Cassius: So, like I've been reading your Legacy online and that whole Pseudo thing and keeping
the hacks and the supernatural doojazz, that's just really hot.
!  He has figured out that if he's going to get anywhere with Orikes, he will have to be as fake as
possible--pseudo-nice, if you will. Ironic, no?

!  Again, we go for Caress hoping she'll shoot him down, but no such luck.

!  Cassius: Yeah, I just really want to get kissed right now. De will do fine.
!  Not today. Right now you get to flirt.

!  De: Aww, Cassius, you're so sweet! Is this a proposal?
!  No, but it's an option, to my shock and horror--is that scary or what? He's not rolling the fear
because you can sneak a Romance Sim into an engagement if it simply hasn't entered their little
heads yet--that's how I got Delightful engaged to Professor Popularity with no problems.

!  Remington: I don't want to sound judgmental—
!  Aw, c'mon, Remington, be as judgmental as you like.
!  —but that son of your simself's! He's the limit! I've always liked your simself, and Flavius
is an ok guy--how did you come up with him?
!  Dunno, Remington, just the wonders of Sim genetics. We do not produce nice children.
!  Remington: Plus he's fat, too!
!  Yes, he is, and I cannot stand looking at that Romance strut on a fat male Sim for a single
second more. Something will have to be done.

!  You know, I have never wanted little green babies in my game, but watching this for a while
makes me wish that certain events with a telescope had occurred first.

!  Cassius: Ah, Ma, that was no fun! How come you made me spin medium when you know I
haven't got any body points?
!  Too bad, because you're getting on again.

!  De: Oo! A dance sphere! When did we get one of those? I absolutely love them. Can I do a nice,
easy spin on it?
!  Sorry, De, occupado. You don't need it and he does.

!  De: Oh. Well, I'm a little disappointed that I can't use it myself, but--go Cassius!

!  Really. When she can't interact with him directly, she cheers him on and watches him, which is
why I have to be doubly careful about him getting caught. Such a nice girl. Such a completely
worthless guy. My heart bleeds, it really does.

!  Cassius: Yeah, that was even worse. I'm gonna stop and you can't make me get on again.
!  Fine, because we were only killing time until somebody has to move out.

!  Marina. I know you can't stand him. I know you've probably wanted to get out of here from Day One. But
how can you just leave the other girls? What about De? What about poor Renee? She is so miserable!
!  Marina: I know. I feel a little guilty, but this is a disaster, and I just have to get out of here. I really do regret
leaving De.
!  And she will. At 97 daily relationship points, she and De are very, very good friends. The same can't be
said of Cassius: at a whopping 27 combined points, she clearly dislikes him. She is at 102 points with him,
down a bit from yesterday. He still has a crush on her, but he's given up hope, and when a guy like Cassius
gives up hope, he loses interest.

!  So, Renee, you live to fight another day.
!  Renee: Yeah. My simself is totally miserable but you've treated me fair and square, I've gotta say
that.
!  Good. Keep that in mind in the future, will you?
!  At this point, it's De in the lead at 167 points and three bolts. But Orikes and Renee are not far
behind at 152 and 149 respectively and one bolt, so it still could be anybody's game.

!  Well, good. Cassius was too busy to say goodbye, but Marina doesn't care and that clears up the
fatness problem for now.

!  Cassius: Totally awesome.
!  Yes, if you like looking at the faces on the sides of a proscenium arch. Isn't there something you
ought to do?

!  Cassius: Oh. You mean like call Dad?
!  Yes. He gets antsy when he loses friends or best friends, so you'd better stay on good terms with
him.
! 
!  Cassius: But there are still girls here!
! 
!  Just call your father, all right?
! 
!  Next chapter. Kissing starts. Bring a bucket.

The Cassius Marius Bachelor Challenge, Day Four

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The Cassius Marius Bachelor Challenge, Day Four