Publius Scipio Goodytwoshoes, ancient Roman patrician, shares business tricks and tips for Pleasantview times. It's a long, long way from Ostia and a hard slog to Five Top Businesses.

1. The Squeaky Clean Legacy
By Professor Butters
Chapter 6.x: Rich at the Publius Expense

2. Hi. I'm Publius Numantius Scipio-Goodytwoshoes. Mouthful of a name, huh? I just achieved my
lifetime want of owing five top-level businesses, which some people say is impossible. So this
chapter is all about the businesses and it's kind of a tutorial, too, so that other Sims who want to
succeed in business can learn how.
--Ahem, that's *very* inspirational, Publius, you sound like Stephen Covey, but I reserve the
right to interrupt you and tell the readers what *really* happened. For those of you just joining
us, I suggest reading one of the other Squeaky Clean chapters to get caught up. Back to
Publius and his pal Don there.
"Yes, back to me. I'm originally an immigrant, I guess; I come from Blite27's *Ten Caesars*
Legacy, but I fit in pretty well here. As soon as I arrived, I knew I was going to strike it rich, find
a nice girl, and raise a family, not necessarily in that order."
___
Don the Zombie comes from Candi's Uglacy and Prettacy, but he seems to have a life of his

3. My cousin Flavius Marius here is an immigrant from the same Legacy, and married the simself
of the author, the Professor Formerly Known as Butters. It's strange, because hands down he
was voted Roman Least Likely To Survive, but he's awfully nostalgic for the old place and a little
bit Romesick all the time. I guess that's how it is when Sims move somewhere new: some can't
stop missing the old country and some can't wait to make the most of new opportunities, like
me.
My wife ran against Flavius for mayor of Pleasantview and she said some stuff that really hurt
his feelings. Now the families don't get along very well, and it's a shame, but what can I do? I'm
just a businessman.

4. If you want to succeed, I'd recommend finding a wife like Sunny. No, I don't mean a blonde who
looks good in a bikini or even a girl who has 100K in the bank, though that helps. Sunny's
Popularity, and she's really popular. She's very good at making friends, has a lot of charisma,
and got her Gold Flowermaking Badge back in college. And those things are essential to getting
a top business--lots of friends and lots of snaps!

5. My pal Don and I would like to demonstrate. Sniff, sniff, ahhhh. The snaps are good for the
customers and keep them happy, but they're essential for you, too. I've managed to live for days
on nothing but espresso.

6. If you want to succeed, the first thing is to do your homework. That's what I did. There are posts
on Boolprop.com and Game FAQ about achieving top businesses. There are also tutorials on
the exchange and even stories that have all kinds of tips along with them. I was really inspired
when I read Candi's *The Many Businesses of Bob.* I figured, hey, a servo can do it; why not a
Roman?
Boolprop's also been a great dating service for me, but I digress.

7. And then I talked to a bunch of legacy writers who gave me all kinds of helpful tips. My own
narrator guy had some suggestions, and so did Aaroc, and everyone was really supportive.
Believe me, when you get where I am, you don't do it on your own!

8. Now, some of you may inherit a lame family business, which I did. That's my father-in-law
Remington there, who got the family toy business from my wife's grandfather Shane. He came
into the family with a gold Toymaking badge, so there's a tradition that the married-in husbands
have to keep up the toy business. Remington didn't know anything when he started--he'd been
a maid before--but he did earn his Gold Toymaking Badge.

9. But here's a picture of the business the way it was. What's wrong with this picture? Just about
everything. Inner Child Toys and Gifts is a premade Maxis community lot, and if you're going to
buy one of those, be ready to remodel.
Also, he had three employees, but they were all idiots. Most employees are; don't get me
started. So he and Shane did everything all by themselves, selling, stocking, running the
register, and making the toys. They were run off their feet and it's amazing they even got it to
level three, maybe four, no more than that.
The guy in the orange dress is my cousin Drusus, by the way. Here he's a customer; back home
he's dead. See why I'm not nostalgic?

10. See what I mean? The customers used to stand around at this display window and yell. I don't
know why, maybe because they couldn't walk through it? There was a dartboard in front of the
bathroom, no, I'm not kidding you. People were mad all the time. So I decided to start with a
new business and then go back to the toy store later and turn it around.

11. This is the new one I started, the Publius Baths. This is the easiest business in the book--just
hot tubs. And that big espresso bar behind me? It's not for the customers, it's for me. The stuff
you get out of it is way more powerful than what comes out of the home machines, so it's worth
the extra money. The microwave and fridge are for the customers--you don't have to have them,
but it helps. I have them in every single business, and a dishwasher, too. Except for cleaning
up, there's nothing to do but sell tickets.

12. To gullible people.
___
Tiberius Caesar, *Ten Caesars*, and Jack Buccaneer, Purple Bunny's *Piratical Legacy.*

13. Very, very gullible people.

14. All I had to do was make buddies and sell tickets and soak in the hot tub. I don't really need
employees, but if you want five top businesses, you have to have a manager for all of them. I
hired Ben Long here when we hit ten, and he already had the badges to be promoted right
away. There are a lot of Sims out there with at least one gold badge--grab on to one of them.
Skill them up if you have to, but with Ben, I didn't have to. By the time I got done with this
business, I had a Gold Sales badge myself, and a whole lot of business perks. (I have them all
now, and a lot left over).

15. Next we bought a business that showcased my wife's flower-making abilities, Sunny's Snaps.
We'd learned a lot about what not to do by then, so we applied it when we built the place.
Almost every business lot we built looks pretty much the same: just a 3X2 lot and a box on a
foundation. You actually do want it to be fairly small.

16. Inside, they're also pretty much the same. There's a bathroom with three toilet stalls, and a lot of
open space. You want it small, and you want it wide open, so you can always get to the
customer and see what's going on, and you don't want lots and lots of display cases--then you
just have to keep stocking and stocking. I did this early on. If you have to start someone who
doesn't know anything with a job, stocking is the one to go with.

17. Sunny does sales, but she also makes snaps. If you look at the pictures, you'll see that we only
sell *one* crafted item, and that's the snaps. Everything else is a plant out of the decor
catalogue. If you have lots of crafted items, you can't keep up with demand, and lots of snaps
keep everybody happy.
--Yes, that's Jan Tellerman and she's a vampire now, don't ask.

18. Oh, yes, and Remington at the cash register. Remington eventually got a Gold Register Badge,
simply by doing it over and over and over and over and over. When someone is learning, the
customers will get ticked off, but there's ways around that later when you have the right
business perks.
Delightful also helped out a lot back in those days and we left Sunny's mother Daisie Mae home
with the kids, so everybody learned at least one talent pretty well--Sales or Stocking, most of us,
and the register for Remington. With four people, you can run a business without employees. I
really don't like employees, did I mention that?

19. When a customer comes in and looks sort of doofy, which Flavius does all the time, but I mean
confused, you want to go over to them first and do Sales. . . May I Help You? See, with a five
top businesses LTW, it's not about the money, it's about the loyalty stars--you'll make money
anyway and you can make more later when the businesses are capped out. May I Help You
gives a huge loyalty boost and a lot of people will give you a star right away.
So Sunny's Snaps did well, and we hired a lady named Jane Ng to be the manager. She had a
Gold Sales Badge and ran around restocking until she had enough to be manager, and then it
was time to fix up the toy store.

20. Here's another "toy store in the old days, what's wrong with this picture" picture. Evil kite for
sale--get rid of it, most customers aren't dumb enough to buy it and my narrator guy Blite27
certainly isn't. Too many different craftable items for sale. Stupid employee with not enough to
do burning up money, though actually this particular stupid employee became our manager
later. And display cases that actually get in the way of the register.
___
Yes, this is Blite's Simself, of course.

21. Here's another "what's wrong" shot. See the archway? It leads to a room which is only big
enough for the toycrafting bench. But with an archway, customers wander back there and look
doofy and then they get mad. Yes, it's pretty, but so what--replace the archway with a door, and
make it employees only.

22. New and improved. We took out the center display. Now we only sell two craftable items,
expensive ones--Water Wigglers and Twirl, Spin and Wobbles. Funny--my kids haven't even
played with those at home. But now that I'm done with the businesses and Daddy's home more,
I think we'll make the time. Everything else is a regular toy from the catalog, except for the big
stupid bear, which is a sculpture, believe it or not.
Sunny is meditating while the store is closed so my father in law can make more toys and I can
restock the place.

23. Oh, yes, and we also sell the kiddy ovens and the toy chest, which my cousin's wife found in his
inventory when he got home. He's a great customer and not a bad guy, and he and Sunny used
to be really good friends. It's a shame.
So after a while, we got the toy store up to the top level. I usually started a new business before
getting to level ten.

24. This was number four to be bought, but the last to succeed, Delightful Cakes. We decided that
since Delightful had been a celebrity chef, we should try a bakery.

25. And it's the same very simple design, with the espresso bar and the toilets, only we have a
kitchen for Delightful only, and those refrigerator cases. Also a pinball machine and a couch,
which is for me. Delightful wanted the hellfire decor scheme.

26. And maybe that was a mistake. The place is cursed.

27. And it's *not* just because Auntie Renee likes to shop there.
___
Once again I ask, does Renee really need an introduction? Right now author of the Again
Legacy and Publius' kill-happy Aunt in *Ten Caesars.*

28. Delightful Cakes is where I had a nearly fatal accident with an energizer. It was all the author's
fault. She--
--OK, I'm interrupting you now. You see, Publius here is a very high-maintenance Fortune Sim
and whenever heaven forbid a customer loses a star, it's a huge federal issue and his aspiration
meter plunges dramatically. Remington here doesn't care, he just wants relatives to get married
and to help his granddaughter Giselle with her homework. We saved Publius' life by pulling
every single snap in the place around the couch until he got better. Isn't that right, Publius?
Publius: Um . . .yeah.

29. Publius: Anyway, back to me and my how to succeed guide. Sometimes a business will start to
drive you nuts and that's when to open a new one. So this was the last I opened, Publius Pool
N' Poker. I put the hot tubs in because I had them left over from the old place, but Sims don't
like places where there are too many different choices. I could have had *all* poker tables. But
the pool table is popular when there's no more room, and I can convince Sims into the hot tub
by getting in myself, asking them to join me, and then getting out.
Of course, every time we open a new place, Sunny makes a big pile of snaps at the florist shop
and then we come here. Sometimes we don't go home for a week.

30. It's the poker tables that make money here. It could have been another hot tub business. In fact,
you can just make five bathhouses and be done with it, but that felt like cheating. I wanted five
*different* businesses.

31. You'll notice that Don really likes the Dance Sphere--he's a fun loving guy.

32. There's hardly anything to do at a business like this, but you do have to clean up. I'm a
reasonably tidy guy, so I'll do it on autopilot most of the time. We must have had a pregnant
customer, and I'm not sure who it was, maybe Brandi Broke or even Mary Sue Pleasant. Mary
Sue is totally hot, by the way--she is just one of many, many Sim ladies I have two bolts for, but
the author keeps me on a choke chain.

33. We needed to build up a customer base fast, and this is where Sunny got busy--she invited her
friends and family over, all zillion of them, and then they all bought tickets. Here she's talking to
her old Poli Sci professor--Delightful had a little fling with her back when and it started a whole
nasty chain of events with her art professor, Professor Popularity. I never met him, but he
haunts the place, and I mean literally.

34. Sunny also invited her sister Wolf Gal and her brother in law Derek. As far as I can tell,
werewolves are great customers, especially at night, unless they get too hungry, but we always
have a stocked fridge. She hasn't savaged anybody. She just plays poker.

35. I invited Candi, a friend of mine from work and now one of my best pals, as you can see.

36. Sometimes you'll try to sell a ticket and it doesn't work out. Then you just have to humor the
customers by letting them talk to you until you can try again.
Mortimer Goth: So then Bella was GONE, and it was all "whoooo," and then everybody said she
was in another world or something, but she's not, I checked, she's the wrong Bella, and if you
try to get her here in your neighborhood it's all BOOM!
Sunny: Uh-huh.

37. The author says I have to tell you that she has a hack that lets me take power naps. Everybody
has a different idea of what's cheating and she honestly doesn't think it is. I can't sleep for very
long anyway, and if it wasn't for the hack, I would probably have died on the Energizer. So if it's
cheating, she says, do you want a dead Publius? --and have you ever taken a nap at work? And
do you think the guys at Maxis never sleep on the couch when they have a deadline? Uh-huh.

38. My cousin's oldest son Cassius started coming to the poker place. He was in a Bachelor
Challenge not long ago, which is where he met his incredibly hot wife, De, aka Fireflower314.
Now he has no job, nothing to do, and a lot of money to spend, so I guess it figures, but he kept
hanging around and hanging around. He hates pink, just like Flavius, and he kept bugging us
about it. What's up with him?

39. I tried to tell him that the pink is no big deal. It's just a cultural thing for my wife's family and I
respect that. When in Rome, do as the Romans do, and when you're here, you do Squeaky
Clean Pink, no biggie.
He's also a pain because he's maxed neat and if you don't clean up after him the second he
leaves a cereal bowl on the floor, he'll freak out, and he's really grouchy and he'll complain.

40. Ahem, Cassius, this is your mother speaking. Are you up to something?
"Yeah. Dad said he was having a problem. I'll give *them* problems."
I am *certain* that Flavius never told you to do anything to the Squeaky Cleans. What have you
done?
"Ah, nothing, Ma, I just cleaned up at the poker tables, won more than I spent to get in, acted
annoying, plugged up their toilet and left."
Cassius' idea of revenge--plug their toilets.

41. Publius: Flavius didn't show up until the business was at level nine. That was kind of weird. He's
usually the first to check out a new place and it's almost impossible for him to resist a Dazzle.
But then he wouldn't talk to anybody.

42. He just got on the Dance Sphere until he got bored with it.

43. And then he left.
****
What's wrong, Flavius?
"I'm not in the mood. They always take advantage of me, especially Sunny, and I just want to go
home."
A Popularity Sim who doesn't feel like socializing? Flavius?

44. Publius: I guess cheating is in the eye of the beholder. I don't think there are rules about skilling
up a playable and then hiring them, but we didn't do that, it felt wrong somehow, and we never
invite Flavius because, well, he's too easy, and *I* think it's unfair. But Sunny remembered that
her Aunt Vanessa already had a couple of talent badges when she married in. So we hired her
and let her build up a few skills so we could make her manager of the poker place.

45. The only thing to ask her to do was to sell stuff, and she wasn't good. She really, really pissed
Cassius off, for one thing. Another thing is, don't use Dazzle on a playable with not a lot of
money! Don't push them at all, in fact, because they'll pat their pockets and say no. Stick to
townies, who evidently have all the money they want. But employees will just keep trying--have I
mentioned that I don't care for employees?
***
I guess I could have motherloded everybody in the neighborhood, but to me, that also feels like
cheating. I motherlode my spares and my simself and her kids, but not the Pleasantview houses
I don't even play.

46. Well, we got Publius Poker up to the top level, and now it was time to finish with Delightful
Cakes. We hired Donte Knight here to be a potential manager. He had a gold badge already
and I tried the old motivational speech, which gives them a skill for a while, but Candi's right,
they won't accept it unless they're your friend.

47. And pretty soon someone poked him and he was crying--want to know why?

48. Well, Renee is my Auntie Renee in *Ten Caesars,* and we get along great. No, she is not Pod
Renee--I heard about that Bachelor Challenge. She poked Donte and made him cry, but I rolled
the want to hire her because she's a friend. She didn't have any talent badges, I'm sure of it, but
*she* was cool with the motivational speech and she's our new manager now.
What? You think there's something wrong with putting Auntie Renee in charge of a bakery? She
doesn't do the baking when we're not there. I think. Just have your taster check the cake out
when you get it home and if he doesn't die, you're cool.

49. And *I* am a good saleman, if I say so myself. I can sell a wedding cake to a married Romance
Sim. That's how good I am. But I don't do all the selling at Delightful Cakes--when she's not
baking, Delightful does it too.

50. "Excuse me. We are Queen Ivy and we wish to buy a wedding cake."
Delightful: She's delusional, but is she scrumptious!

51. Purple Bunny: I'm not responsible for anything that happens to you. Just so you know that.
Delightful: Pssht, so I read about it, she's a little unlucky, but I can't WooHoo her at home
anyway, so I'm cool. Hey, Ivy, my husband died early under mysterious circumstances, too. I
think that gives us a kind of bond, don't you?
___
Purple Bunny's simself, of course, and Queen Ivy from her Piratical Legacy.

52. Evidently Ivy agreed.
Delightful: Yeah, Publius, hurry up with this business thing already, I've got some serious stuff
on my agenda.

53. Publius: As I said, Delightful Cakes seems to be cursed, but it wasn't connected with Ivy, who
just bought a pile of cakes and left.

54. Delightful can get a *little* spotty on the cleanup back there. It's a good thing there's no Health
Inspectors in the Sims. See why I'm not worried about Auntie Renee poisoning the cakes? But
right about then, our troubles really started.

55. Who'd have thought trouble would come in the form of a cat named Pookie, of all things? Sunny
has an older sister named Moonbeam, and Pookie's her cat. First Pookie shredded the sofa,
then got hungry, then wouldn't eat, and finally--FINALLY--left.

56. Then I tried selling narrator guy an empty plate as usual.

57. But he wasn't in the mood.
"No way. I've had enough of Romans bugging me for stuff! Your cousin Flavius, his son
Cassius, they're always nagging me and I'm about sick of it."
But I just wanted you to buy an empty plate.

58. Blite: Oh, well, that's different, Delightful, I'll buy something from you! You've never bugged me
about anything. Hey, did I mention I voted for you for heiress?
Delightful: Well, I don't miss being heiress. You busy later?
Blite: Ummm. . . baseball season just started. Gotta run.

59. Publius: When business starts getting really busy, it is very hard keeping up. We'd been leaving
Sunny at home so someone could stay with the kids, because Daisie Mae died a little while ago.
I don't like nannies, who does? So we were at eight bordering on nine and I was kind of
stressing out.

60. Luckily, my father-in-law is very deeply spiritual from all the meditating he's had to do over the
years and he encouraged me to find inner peace, which I did, and now there's an inspirational
CD with a book package which--
--Publius. How about I tell them the truth? Yes, the business was at eight, and went to nine, so
we closed it because everyone was tired and there was no more cake. And somebody wasn't
very happy, so we lost a star.

61. Bleh, bleh, bleeeeh, I have four top level businesses and the last one's at eight, but it was at
nine, so I'm gonna go nuts now, bleh bleh bleeeeh!
Can you say high maintenance? Gee whiz!

62. Sim Shrink: Hmm. I think we have a difficulty with overly high expectations, you know? You are
successful already beyond most Sim's wildest dreams, you should be not so hard on yourself,
plan a vacation, play with the kids?

63. Publius: Thanks, Doc! I feel great now! I'm completely cured. So that was a total slipup, could
happen to anybody, so I wasn't gonna mention it, but naturally there's nothing really wrong with
me and it never happened again.
--Publius, I know this doesn't look as good in the official bio, but that is not true. It happened
*immediately.* We had to reopen the business and get at least two gold stars superfast, but
who is going to do that? Who is so easy to sell that he drops loyalty stars like confetti?

64. Delightful: Flavius, buy an empty plate and give us a loyalty star!
Flavius: Sure!
I have *never* been so happy to see a Sim coming *anywhere.* Then, of course, we closed
again.

65. Publius: Yeah, it's true. I was edgy. And I was beginning to wish I'd never heard of that dumb
mayoral campaign, it seems to have caused nothing but trouble, and I had to recuperate while
Delightful made more cakes. Delightful is so playful that she can't meditate at all, but she's
permaplat three times over, so she just uses the Energizer.

66. My father-in-law, well, he's just totally mellow these days and doesn't care about business. He's
been wanting to get back to the family for days now. It's true--I couldn't have done this without
him. So when we reopened, I tried to be just a little more cool.

67. I'm cool! I'm wearing my track suit, see?
"Flavius! Wedding cake! You gotta have one!"

68. Ahem, Flavius, you *know* we don't need one of those. Nobody is getting married anytime soon
and you just spent 445 Simoleans.
"What? We don't have the money?"
I bet you just dropped by to help Publius out.
"No I didn't. . . well. . . he's family. . . nepotism is a very Roman thing!"

69. And Blite decided to help get those last few loyalty stars too.
Blite: Sure. I'll buy a birthday cake even if my birthday isn't for a long time. I've always really
liked you, Publius, and I must have done something right, because you're getting face time all
over the place.

70. But who's the real heroine of the story? Well, it's Delightful, because she sold Derek the cake
that got the very, very last loyalty star.

71. See? Publius was drinking espresso. But yes, Publius, you did it, even if everybody helped you
out, and you've achieved five top businesses, and not many Sims can say that.

72. My simself *must* have been impressed. I've noticed she often turns up at big events, or
cruises by when someone is going to die. She appeared very briefly when Publius went
permaplat, then walked away and disappeared.

73. And how do we celebrate? By letting Publius have his first risk-free shot at the Energizer, that's
how.

74. Publius: Thanks, Delightful. You're great. I really *couldn't* have done it without you. Hey, I'm in
the mood for pinball, too!

75. Remington: Thanks, honey. I am so proud of you.
Delightful: Ahhh--it was nothing, Dad. I'm just glad it's over and we're going home. I've got, uh,
other stuff I want to get to.
Remington: Really, sweetie? I didn't know you had plans. Well, I do too.

76. I just want to spend some time with my granddaughters.
And so do I, which is why we spent this whole time on Publius' businesses. Because now it's out
of the way, and from here on out, we're focusing on Aurora and Giselle. Stay tuned for what we
do best here at Squeaky Clean, girls, cuteness, kitties and pink, and until then, happy Simming.