Chapter SixPlot twists! Intrigue!Grilled Cheese! Yup,it’s a day in the life ofDagmar.
Welcome back to FindingConsort Redux by Kelyns!It’s the same old silly story,now in PowerPoint! Thischapter was originally...
D: "WAAAAHHHHH! My Life is over!"You all may remember that Dagmar has recently been impressed into a life ofservitude for ...
And Veronica doesnt mind one bit this time.V: "Are you kidding me? This chapters gonna be awesome!"
Anyway, back to the recap. With a little "persuasion," Dagmar changed her lifesaspiration to pursuing the almighty cheesy ...
But thats not why her life is over, nor is it the reason for her tears.
No, the reason for all of that would be this woman, and one of my new favorite sims,Denise Jacquet. Denise basically threa...
Needless to say Denise is a devious, conniving, and deadly skilled murderer, and soVeronica and I like her both.V: "Defini...
So, readers, sit back, relax, maybe even grab a snack like Veronica has here, andprepare to read Finding Consort Chapter 6...
Greetings, peons. Come to make fun of my torture sentence, have you? Hmmph,fine. As KB said earlier, I will be narrating t...
Oh, yes, that annoying old maid made me clean up the kitchen after dinner.
"What did you just say?""Nothing, maam, nothing...""Good. Then its time for bed. Let me show you your room."Bed? But its o...
"Heres where youll be staying.""...But there are two beds.""Yes thats because you will be sharing my room with me.""Heh, h...
"Now Ill wake you up tomorrow at five, but dont expect me to do so every morningbecause-""Wait, wait, wait. Five? As in fi...
"Heh, heh, well, sweetie, that certainly wont be happening here. I expect you totake on the role of maid, gardener, and bu...
"And... just what are these activities, exactly?""Well, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, first you make...
“Then after lessons, you prepare dinner, which is formal, so wash up before you eat.After dinner, you clean up the kitchen...
"I can, and you will do exactly as I say, or you can expect me to turn you into mysecret ingredient for my chili. Dons not...
"There are labor laws you know!""Pfft, not in this neighborhood. And dont count on the police, either. Theyre toobusy mess...
"Thats, um, nice of you.""I know. Dont expect me to be so nice in the future. Now, lights out in ten, and thebathrooms dow...
Okay, so lets see what we got here.
Yeesh, icky. Next.
Um, jurys out on this one. What does she think this is, anyway? A ranch?
Hmm, not bad, but I see we havent left the barn.
Okay, no. This has GOT to stop. I know I wear a cowgirl hat, but come on!
Okay, ENOUGH with the cowgirl/ranch stuff. There GOT to be something else in here.
When I said something else, I didnt mean this. Now I look like an old lady. ...OrRegina whatsherface...
Okay, who ever made this should have let this trend die. It looks like its straight fromthe 1950s. Wait... Didnt that old ...
Talk about 1950s. *Sigh* I look like an old maid... Oh, brother, I did not mean thatpun.
Aw, geez, come on! What is with this stuff? Isnt there something more recent in thiswardrobe?
Apparently not. What is this? Home on the prairie with the social worker?
Now I look like a nanny... Or a modern day CrumpleBottom... ARGH! THERES GOT TOBE SOMETHING DECENT IN THIS CLOSET!
V: Heh, heh. Looks like someone got all the reject clothes that KB never lets herfavorite simmies wear... Not only does sh...
Ten minutes later, I was still trying to find something to wear when Den- I mean Mrs.Jacquet walked in.DJ: "Oh, that looks...
Argh! Granny pjs?????? Someone is SO going to pay for this![V: *Snickers*]
The next morning came sooner than I thought it would. I was having a perfectpleasant dream until this blasted ringing star...
"M-Maam... Did you set the a-a-" *Yawn* "Alarm?""Yes, I did, otherwise you might have overslept.""B-but its five AM. Could...
"Argh!" *Slam* "Stupid Gilbert, ruining my sleep..."
I got dressed and started on breakfast. Then it suddenly occurred to me that Icouldnt cook. Well, I guess I could make my ...
Right. So, I made grilled cheese for breakfast. Gilbert and I were having a nice littleconversation (He asked me what bein...
"W-What are you talking about? I made breakfast. Just like you asked.“"Oh, really?""Y-yes. I made grilled cheese."
"GRILLED CHEESE IS NOT BREAKFAST!"
"W-w-whats wrong with grilled cheese? I-I love grilled cheese. Doesnt everybody?I just t-thought that everyone else might ...
"YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO MAKE CEREAL? WHAT ARE YOU, A COMPLETE IDIOT?""N-no maam.""REALLY? BECAUSE YOU CERTAINLY SOUND LIKE O...
"Mother, calm down. Its ok. I didnt mind eating grilled cheese, really. The changewas refreshing, actually. Just relax."
"Humph, fine. I will let this slide for now. But in the future, no more grilled cheese forbreakfast, understand? You can e...
As per orders, I met Mrs. Jacquet in the garden."Right, well, since youve proven to be incompetent with something as simpl...
"Dont thank me, girl! That was an insult! Sheesh, stupid loony cant even tell an insultfrom a complement. Oh, Plumbbob, ho...
"Stupid you may be, but Im determined to turn your block head into something. Sowell start with the gardening. First, youl...
"Uh, yes. Um, why dont you just hire a gardener if you dont want to do the workyourself?"
"Humph..."
"Good question... Let me think about that..."
"Because gardeners arent free, stupid. Now get to work."
"But, come on. You dont really expect me to do all this by myself, do you? Itll takeforever! Even you couldnt be so unreas...
"Dagmar...""Yess...""MOVE IT!"*Sigh* "Yes, maam."
"Okay, now we spray the trees to keep the bugs away.""Couldnt we get ladybugs to do that?""Yes, but that costs money, and ...
"Dont give me any sass, young lady.""Im not-""No back talk, either.""But-""I SAID no back talk!"*SIGH*
"Now trim those branches... no, no, the tree should look round, not like a triangle...Youre doing it all wrong...""You cou...
"Now, before we plant, we fertilize the soil to help it grow. We usually make our own,but we dont have any left, so just u...
"ARE YOU GIVING ME SASS? BECAUSE I COULD USE YOU FOR FERTILIZER INSTEAD!"*Whisper*: "No maam...""GOOD! Now, spread the fer...
"Now that youve learned the proper way to fertilize the soil, its time to plant theseeds. Dig a hole... Too shallow, you n...
"And now that youve learned the proper way to plant a garden, its time to waterthe plants. Now its very important to give ...
And thats how it went for the WHOLE morning.
*Whine*: "Are we done yet? Please, please tell me were done.""Humph, we barely got started; theres loads more work to do. ...
"Well, okay. its almost lunch time anyway. Wash up and then well start yourcooking lessons."
"Now, lunchtime is the proper time to make sandwiches. I have nothing againstsandwiches, if, of course, they are served fo...
It seems he spends most of his day on the couch. Little mamas boy... Yeah, hereally works hard... *Rolls Eyes*
"Meanwhile, I was in hell taking orders from the nagging old witch.""Dagmar, get the groceries!""Yes, madam." *Sigh*
"Here you go, thatll be $375.""Ill make it double if you take me with you.""Wha?""You got to help me. I have to get outta ...
Well, Mrs. Jacquet caught me trying to run away. Looks like Im stuck here for now.*Sigh* At least I have cheese.
"So how was your morning, ladies?"
"Aw, Gilbert, thank you for asking; youre such a sweet boy. Our morning wasperfectly pleasant, dear. Although, we did run ...
"Pleasant?! You call this morning pleasant?! This place is a prison!""For you and me both, Dagmar. For you and me both.""W...
Gilbert may have thought that this place was a prison, too, but he still didnt have todo any chores. No, it was I who clea...
And I took out the trash... Man would I have liked to stuff Denise in there..."WHAT WAS THAT?""Nothing, Mrs. Jacquet."That...
First was the sewing lessons."In my day, every young lady could sew. Wasnt proper if you didnt know how. Bythe time I was ...
“But look at you! You cant even sew a button! I swear, young girls heads thesedays are full of nothing but fluff!"*Sigh* I...
After the sewing came the dance lessons, because:"In my day, every young lady knew how to dance. Girls with two left feet ...
And then came my lowest point of the day. I got fat. Humph, must have been all thecheese..."And dancings supposed to help ...
He was in front of his mirror. Seducing his own reflection. I however, still had work todo. Oh, yes, thats right, more work.
"Dance lessons are over for today; dont worry, though. Keep it up and youll getyour old figure back in no time. Unless you...
And thats how I ended up gardening at night: watering...
...and weeding..."No, no, no! Not that, you ninny, thats the plant! Pull up the weeds, the weeds, girl!"
And then I had the pleasure of cleaning up the yard... (Stupid Maxis/EA no no petssign... *Grumble*)
...and trimming the hedges.
When I finally came inside it was 8:30."Youre late! Dinner is supposed to be at seven! Poor Gilbert is starving! Hurry up ...
*Grumble* Its not like she couldnt have made dinner..."WHAT WAS THAT?""Nothing, madam, nothing.""DONT YOU USE THAT TONE WI...
"Gilbert, dear, Im so sorry dinners late, but this ninny over here just cant seem toget her work done."
"Mother, will you stop? I told you that it was okay, and besides, it was her first dayand shes not accustomed to hard labo...
"Thats what our employees are for, mother.""But, its not the same! Those nincompoops dont know how to do anything! Ourcust...
"Dagmar!""Argh what, now? Ive cooked, cleaned, gardened, sewed, danced, and thencooked, cleaned, and gardened some more. I...
"Humph, my mother died when I was young, and my father put me in charge of thehousehold and my three younger siblings sinc...
She had a rough day? She had a rough day?!
"You know what? Pour yourself a glass, too. You look like you need it. Last thing Ineed is a maid with a nervous breakdown...
Pretty soon, though, I was yawning into my glass. Although, that also might havehad to do with Mrs. Jacquets stories of wh...
"Good Plumbbob, girl! Youre falling asleep standing up! Go to bed already!""Yes, madam. Night."*Mutters*: "Pfft, youngins....
I went and got ready for bed."I will get through this," I told my reflection, "I just have to think of a plan. Notcheese. ...
Exhausted, I got into bed. Always a night owl, I never thought Id be so happy to goto bed before 10 PM, but I quickly drif...
V: "BUUURRP. Oopsie! Excuse me."D: "Enjoying yourself, Veronica?"V: Yes, I am, thank you. And I would love to stay and rea...
A few weeks later, I had adjusted to my new life and my new routine of chores. Infact, I was progressing so well, Mrs. Jac...
"Dagmar!""What?""Im going for a jog, I should be back in an hour. Dont forget to wake Gilbert up forbreakfast.""Wait, Mrs....
I hesitated."Well, what is it?""Um, ..um, nothing, nothing, just that, uh, um, ...the ...the... groceries! Yeah! Were,uh, ...
I couldnt believe it! An hour of freedom! It wasnt long enough to escape. Id needmore than an hour to make it safely downt...
[Okay, sorry folks, but CrumpleButt here would not cooperate and pick up a phone.GRR, stupid NPC glitches. So, youll just ...
"CrumpleBottom... Its been at least six weeks now.""Humph, well, I didnt notice.""How could you not notice? Im your top ag...
"Well, you know... There was knitting to be done... And, of course, people to slap,young lovers to harass. I was busy."
"CrumpleBottom! Look, just send some agents over to get me out of here, and tellthem to be discreet. Im at the Jacquet res...
"Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. I sorry Dagmar, but youll have to get yourself out ofthere. I used to go to school with her. ...
"WELL, IM NOT GOING TO RISK IT. SETTLE THIS YOURSELF; I WANT NO PART OF THIS,ABSOLUTELY, NONE YOU HEAR? NO ONE TAKES MY GR...
"Calm down, CrumpleBottom, I understand youre upset; theres no need to shout.But, how am I supposed to get out of here wit...
"That is none of my concern. In fact, I shouldnt even be talking to you, Denise mightget word back to Olive, so I really g...
"SHHH! No, of course I dont like Consort! DONT LISTEN TO HER, GRIMY! How couldyou say such a thing, Dagmar? Consort is cho...
"Um, yes. Comes with the job; you knew the risks, right? Dont worry, I wont let yoursacrifice go in vain, Ill get you a pl...
"But I dont want a plaque! I want to escape! Hello? HELLO? CRUMPLEBOTTOM?!"I tried calling her back, but she wouldnt answe...
The Jacquets never did find out that I tricked them, but I was worried, nonetheless. Ialways thought that CrumpleBottom wa...
I decided to put phase one of my plan into action that night, after Denise had goneto sleep.
The cranky old witch was dead asleep as I crept out of bed and over to the vanity.
She didnt even stir as the lights went on. Pfft. Old People. What can you expect?Anyway, I did what I could to make myself...
I snuck out of the room and turned off the light quietly, lest I disturb Mrs. Jacquet.Then I made my way upstairs to Gilbe...
Gilbert couldnt believe what he was seeing in the mirror. A gorgeous woman in ashort blue floral dress that hugged her cur...
"Hello, Gilbert."*****And THATs where Im ending it. Evil, I know. So. Wondering what Dagmars gonnado? What about Gilbert, ...
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Finding Consort Ch 6

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Plot twists! Intrigue! Grilled Cheese! Yup, it’s a day in the life of Dagmar.

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Finding Consort Ch 6

  1. 1. Chapter SixPlot twists! Intrigue!Grilled Cheese! Yup,it’s a day in the life ofDagmar.
  2. 2. Welcome back to FindingConsort Redux by Kelyns!It’s the same old silly story,now in PowerPoint! Thischapter was originallyChapter 7 Part 3, in caseanyone was wondering,and let’s get to it. I believewe left off with Dagmarcoming to terms with hernew life as a live-in maid…Ch 6:Low Day
  3. 3. D: "WAAAAHHHHH! My Life is over!"You all may remember that Dagmar has recently been impressed into a life ofservitude for Denise Jacquet, Gilberts mother. So this part of the chapter is all abouther, told from her point of view. Why? Because its fun watching others suffer! Andafter all the damage Dagmar did to this story, Id say she deserves it.
  4. 4. And Veronica doesnt mind one bit this time.V: "Are you kidding me? This chapters gonna be awesome!"
  5. 5. Anyway, back to the recap. With a little "persuasion," Dagmar changed her lifesaspiration to pursuing the almighty cheesy goodness found only in a perfectlytoasted grilled cheese sandwich.
  6. 6. But thats not why her life is over, nor is it the reason for her tears.
  7. 7. No, the reason for all of that would be this woman, and one of my new favorite sims,Denise Jacquet. Denise basically threatened to kill Dagmar if she even thoughtabout escaping and was able to back up the threat by revealing how shemurdered her husband.
  8. 8. Needless to say Denise is a devious, conniving, and deadly skilled murderer, and soVeronica and I like her both.V: "Definitely; if only I could learn from such wisdom!"
  9. 9. So, readers, sit back, relax, maybe even grab a snack like Veronica has here, andprepare to read Finding Consort Chapter 6, A Day In The Life Of Dagmar.
  10. 10. Greetings, peons. Come to make fun of my torture sentence, have you? Hmmph,fine. As KB said earlier, I will be narrating this part of the chapter. Since my cheesetransformation, my thoughts have been incessantly filled with cheese. But dontworry, all my cheesy thoughts have been edited out for you in order for this chapterto make sense, although few transgressions may slip through now and then. Nowwhere did we leave off?
  11. 11. Oh, yes, that annoying old maid made me clean up the kitchen after dinner.
  12. 12. "What did you just say?""Nothing, maam, nothing...""Good. Then its time for bed. Let me show you your room."Bed? But its only 8:00...
  13. 13. "Heres where youll be staying.""...But there are two beds.""Yes thats because you will be sharing my room with me.""Heh, heh... are you serious? I dont do sharing.""Are you seriously asking me that question?"*GULP* "N-No..."
  14. 14. "Now Ill wake you up tomorrow at five, but dont expect me to do so every morningbecause-""Wait, wait, wait. Five? As in five AM?""Of course! You have a lot of work to do! Plus one of your chores is to makebreakfast for—”"Hold it! Back up. Explain this "work" thing. As a townie I never had a job; I just didwhatever CrumpleBottom told me to. And if she didnt have any assignments for me,I got to do whatever I pleased."
  15. 15. "Heh, heh, well, sweetie, that certainly wont be happening here. I expect you totake on the role of maid, gardener, and butler, and since you have virtually nouseful skills, I have to train you. Which means I have to take time out of my busyschedule to teach you."
  16. 16. "And... just what are these activities, exactly?""Well, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, first you make breakfast forme and Gilbert. I usually go for my morning jog around six, and I expect breakfastto be ready by the time I get back; Gilbert should be awake by then, too. Then youhave to tend the garden. You came just in time; its planting season. After that, youmake lunch and clean up the house, which is followed by your lessons-""Lessons?”"Yes, I said Id train you didnt I?”
  17. 17. “Then after lessons, you prepare dinner, which is formal, so wash up before you eat.After dinner, you clean up the kitchen, right before you wash up and go to bed.""You cant seriously expect me to do all of that by myself."
  18. 18. "I can, and you will do exactly as I say, or you can expect me to turn you into mysecret ingredient for my chili. Dons not the only one who can put brains in chili!"**From Candi020765s Uglacy and Prettacy. Go read it. After this, of course.
  19. 19. "There are labor laws you know!""Pfft, not in this neighborhood. And dont count on the police, either. Theyre toobusy messing with the uni kids.""I-I-Im still gonna get you... somehow...""Yeah, you and what army? Now get ready for bed; I dont need you passing outduring your chores tomorrow. Oh, and there are some clothes for you in the dresser.Most of it are just some old things of mine, but Gilbert convinced me to get a fewnew outfits for you, as you have nothing except the clothes on your back."
  20. 20. "Thats, um, nice of you.""I know. Dont expect me to be so nice in the future. Now, lights out in ten, and thebathrooms down the hall."
  21. 21. Okay, so lets see what we got here.
  22. 22. Yeesh, icky. Next.
  23. 23. Um, jurys out on this one. What does she think this is, anyway? A ranch?
  24. 24. Hmm, not bad, but I see we havent left the barn.
  25. 25. Okay, no. This has GOT to stop. I know I wear a cowgirl hat, but come on!
  26. 26. Okay, ENOUGH with the cowgirl/ranch stuff. There GOT to be something else in here.
  27. 27. When I said something else, I didnt mean this. Now I look like an old lady. ...OrRegina whatsherface...
  28. 28. Okay, who ever made this should have let this trend die. It looks like its straight fromthe 1950s. Wait... Didnt that old coot say some of this stuff is hers? This dressprobably is from the 1950s. Im wearing a 50 year old dress, aw, geez!
  29. 29. Talk about 1950s. *Sigh* I look like an old maid... Oh, brother, I did not mean thatpun.
  30. 30. Aw, geez, come on! What is with this stuff? Isnt there something more recent in thiswardrobe?
  31. 31. Apparently not. What is this? Home on the prairie with the social worker?
  32. 32. Now I look like a nanny... Or a modern day CrumpleBottom... ARGH! THERES GOT TOBE SOMETHING DECENT IN THIS CLOSET!
  33. 33. V: Heh, heh. Looks like someone got all the reject clothes that KB never lets herfavorite simmies wear... Not only does she have to be Denises maid, but she gets tolook stupid doing it!
  34. 34. Ten minutes later, I was still trying to find something to wear when Den- I mean Mrs.Jacquet walked in.DJ: "Oh, that looks good. Wear that tomorrow."D: "Are you serious? I look like a hillbilly farmer."DJ: "Which is why its perfect. You start with the gardening tomorrow. Now, to bedwith you. There should be some pajamas in there, too. Im going to go tuck Gilbertin, and I expect you to be in bed by the time I get back."
  35. 35. Argh! Granny pjs?????? Someone is SO going to pay for this![V: *Snickers*]
  36. 36. The next morning came sooner than I thought it would. I was having a perfectpleasant dream until this blasted ringing started.
  37. 37. "M-Maam... Did you set the a-a-" *Yawn* "Alarm?""Yes, I did, otherwise you might have overslept.""B-but its five AM. Couldnt I get up at six like a normal sim? Or at seven? Yeah,seven is a much more agreeable hour.""No. I told you have to get dressed and make breakfast for Gilbert. Now, hop to. Igoing for my jog."
  38. 38. "Argh!" *Slam* "Stupid Gilbert, ruining my sleep..."
  39. 39. I got dressed and started on breakfast. Then it suddenly occurred to me that Icouldnt cook. Well, I guess I could make my new specialty: Grilled Cheese. Mmm.Who wouldnt want perfectly melted, ooey, gooey, cheesy goodness for breakfast?I sure did. Cheese is amazing; it makes anything delicious. I could eat it all day,every day. I love cheese. Cheese is good. Its powers are-KB: AHEM. I think the readers get the point, Dagmar.
  40. 40. Right. So, I made grilled cheese for breakfast. Gilbert and I were having a nice littleconversation (He asked me what being a townie was like. Wanted to know if meand the other townie girls shared a room. Perv.), when Denise walked in. She waslivid.DJ: "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?"
  41. 41. "W-What are you talking about? I made breakfast. Just like you asked.“"Oh, really?""Y-yes. I made grilled cheese."
  42. 42. "GRILLED CHEESE IS NOT BREAKFAST!"
  43. 43. "W-w-whats wrong with grilled cheese? I-I love grilled cheese. Doesnt everybody?I just t-thought that everyone else might like some grilled cheese, too.""Oh, really? Well, let me explain something, missy. Grilled cheese is NOT suitable forbreakfast. Lunch, yes. An afternoon snack, maybe. But most certainly not breakfast.Breakfast food includes pancakes, or omelettes, and maybe even crepes.Occasionally, if one is in a hurry, cereal or a pastry would be suitable. But breakfastfood, most certainly, does not include GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES!""Oh." *Gulp* "B-but I dont know how to make any of those things."
  44. 44. "YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO MAKE CEREAL? WHAT ARE YOU, A COMPLETE IDIOT?""N-no maam.""REALLY? BECAUSE YOU CERTAINLY SOUND LIKE ONE!"
  45. 45. "Mother, calm down. Its ok. I didnt mind eating grilled cheese, really. The changewas refreshing, actually. Just relax."
  46. 46. "Humph, fine. I will let this slide for now. But in the future, no more grilled cheese forbreakfast, understand? You can eat whatever you what for breakfast; I understandyour aspiration change makes you crave cheese. But my Gilbert gets a properbreakfast, you hear?""Yes, madam.""Good. Meet me out in the garden when youve finished cleaning up the kitchen."*Walks away, muttering*: "Grilled cheese for breakfast... What was she thinking?...Stupid loony."
  47. 47. As per orders, I met Mrs. Jacquet in the garden."Right, well, since youve proven to be incompetent with something as simple asmaking breakfast, Im going to supervise your chores until you get the hang ofthings. And you most certainly will be learning how to cook. Luckily for you,gardening in the sim world is a no-brainer. Though I imagine if anyone could figureout a way to screw things up, it would be you.""Uh, thanks..."
  48. 48. "Dont thank me, girl! That was an insult! Sheesh, stupid loony cant even tell an insultfrom a complement. Oh, Plumbbob, how Ive got my work cut out for me..."
  49. 49. "Stupid you may be, but Im determined to turn your block head into something. Sowell start with the gardening. First, youll tend the trees behind you; trim theirbranches, spray them with insecticide, and so on. Next, youll plant tomatoes in thegreenhouse- do it right, or else they wont grow. Then you water em, and pull upany weeds you see. And finally, youll trim the hedges if theyve grown too much. Iexpect you to tend the garden every morning after breakfast, even in winter. Itswhy we got a greenhouse after all. Any questions?"
  50. 50. "Uh, yes. Um, why dont you just hire a gardener if you dont want to do the workyourself?"
  51. 51. "Humph..."
  52. 52. "Good question... Let me think about that..."
  53. 53. "Because gardeners arent free, stupid. Now get to work."
  54. 54. "But, come on. You dont really expect me to do all this by myself, do you? Itll takeforever! Even you couldnt be so unreasonable. How about we settle on some otherarrangement? Like say, I give you money, you just name your price and Ill get itfrom CrumpleBottoms criminal funds, and you let me go free, huh? Doesnt thatsound like a much more agreeable solution? Then youd have tons of money andenough to get a gardener and a maid. Or even a whole team of gardeners andmaids! Wouldnt that be better, huh? And you wouldnt have to waste your valuabletime training anyone, either. Youd-"
  55. 55. "Dagmar...""Yess...""MOVE IT!"*Sigh* "Yes, maam."
  56. 56. "Okay, now we spray the trees to keep the bugs away.""Couldnt we get ladybugs to do that?""Yes, but that costs money, and this way means more work for you and more fun forme as I watch you suffer."*Sigh*"You missed a spot. Do it over, and do it right."*SIGH*
  57. 57. "Dont give me any sass, young lady.""Im not-""No back talk, either.""But-""I SAID no back talk!"*SIGH*
  58. 58. "Now trim those branches... no, no, the tree should look round, not like a triangle...Youre doing it all wrong...""You could just do it yourself, you know.""Are you giving me sass?"*Gulp* "No maam.""I thought so, now hold the shears up, and stand up straight, and be gentle, youdont want to hurt the tree, and-"*SIGH*
  59. 59. "Now, before we plant, we fertilize the soil to help it grow. We usually make our own,but we dont have any left, so just use the bag. When Fall comes, youll rake theleaves and well use them as compost for our fertilizer... Wait, now, you dont want toput too much... no, now thats too little-""Make up your mind, lady!"
  60. 60. "ARE YOU GIVING ME SASS? BECAUSE I COULD USE YOU FOR FERTILIZER INSTEAD!"*Whisper*: "No maam...""GOOD! Now, spread the fertilizer evenly... I SAID EVENLY, YOU DOLT, NOT A LUMPYMESS OF CRAP!"
  61. 61. "Now that youve learned the proper way to fertilize the soil, its time to plant theseeds. Dig a hole... Too shallow, you need to put it far enough down so that birds orother animals dont dig it up.""Were in a greenhouse.""THAT IS BESIDES THE POINT! NOW DIG THE HOLE! ...Good, now cover it... Now, placethe next one. I want a neat garden, so place each seed an equal length apart... No,too far over, a little to the left... Too much, back to the right... Too far again, left...Noo, too much, go right... Oh, come on, put it in the middle, you dolt!"
  62. 62. "And now that youve learned the proper way to plant a garden, its time to waterthe plants. Now its very important to give the plants just the right amount of water.Now, I could install a sprinkler system-""But that costs money and you have fun watching me suffer, right?""Oh, good, youre learning! Now as I was saying, too much water and the plants willget droopy; to little water and the plants will wilt. Thats it... STOP! Too much, toomuch... Okay, next one... A little more, dont be stingy! ...STOP! THATS WAY TOOMUCH GIRL! Next... A little more... a little more... STOP!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOUBLOCK HEAD?"
  63. 63. And thats how it went for the WHOLE morning.
  64. 64. *Whine*: "Are we done yet? Please, please tell me were done.""Humph, we barely got started; theres loads more work to do. And you haventeven started the laundry yet.""But Im hungry and I got to pee. Pleeease? Pretty, pretty, please, can we stop?
  65. 65. "Well, okay. its almost lunch time anyway. Wash up and then well start yourcooking lessons."
  66. 66. "Now, lunchtime is the proper time to make sandwiches. I have nothing againstsandwiches, if, of course, they are served for lunch; some of them can even bequite fancy and delicious. Today, though, well stick to the basic baloney sandwich.Now-"While I was getting lectured on the art of the "proper" baloney sandwich (Too muchmustard... No, too little mustard... Cut the crust off... Too sloppy, do it again... No cutit sideways), Gilbert was relaxing.
  67. 67. It seems he spends most of his day on the couch. Little mamas boy... Yeah, hereally works hard... *Rolls Eyes*
  68. 68. "Meanwhile, I was in hell taking orders from the nagging old witch.""Dagmar, get the groceries!""Yes, madam." *Sigh*
  69. 69. "Here you go, thatll be $375.""Ill make it double if you take me with you.""Wha?""You got to help me. I have to get outta here. Ill do anything, just take me with you.""Um, thats... uh, nice, lady, but, uh, Im going to go now...""No! Dont leave me!""Know what? Keep your money; Im just going to go." *Runs to truck*"NOO! TAKE ME WITH YOU!" *Runs after delivery lady*
  70. 70. Well, Mrs. Jacquet caught me trying to run away. Looks like Im stuck here for now.*Sigh* At least I have cheese.
  71. 71. "So how was your morning, ladies?"
  72. 72. "Aw, Gilbert, thank you for asking; youre such a sweet boy. Our morning wasperfectly pleasant, dear. Although, we did run into a few difficulties, teachingDagmar the proper way to garden. What about you, sweetie? Did you get a chanceto look over the bakerys accounts?""Not yet, mother. Ill get started on it right after lunch."
  73. 73. "Pleasant?! You call this morning pleasant?! This place is a prison!""For you and me both, Dagmar. For you and me both.""WHAT WAS THAT?"D&G: "Nothing!"
  74. 74. Gilbert may have thought that this place was a prison, too, but he still didnt have todo any chores. No, it was I who cleaned up the kitchen... Cleaned up the wholehouse for that matter.
  75. 75. And I took out the trash... Man would I have liked to stuff Denise in there..."WHAT WAS THAT?""Nothing, Mrs. Jacquet."That woman had an uncanny ability to read minds. But anyway, just when I thoughtI was done for the day, Denise announced that it was time for lessons. As if shehadnt been giving me lessons all morning!"DAGMAR!""Coming, Mrs. Jacquet, Im coming."
  76. 76. First was the sewing lessons."In my day, every young lady could sew. Wasnt proper if you didnt know how. Bythe time I was ten, I was in charge of the mending for the whole house, so that mymama, Plumbbob rest her soul, could have some time to relax every now and then.It wasnt easy running a household in those days... Nowadays, everyone has it soeasy; they hire a maid and a gardener and a nanny... They even go to the storeand buy their clothes. Why, Ill have you know I made my whole wedding trousseau.Back then, people couldnt afford to just go to the store and buy a whole newwardrobe.”
  77. 77. “But look at you! You cant even sew a button! I swear, young girls heads thesedays are full of nothing but fluff!"*Sigh* Im starting to think she exaggerating. I know shes old, but come on? Sewinga whole wardrobe? Unbelievable."What was that?""Nothing, madam, nothing.""Yeah, it better be nothing. And sew that one over! Cant you see that buttonscrooked?"
  78. 78. After the sewing came the dance lessons, because:"In my day, every young lady knew how to dance. Girls with two left feet didnt getmarried! Dancing is very important; it teaches you to be graceful and balanced,and to not make a fool of yourself on the dance floor. Now, how are you supposedto learn grace and balance with that posture? Straighten your back! ...Arms up...Higher! Straighten that arm! A straight arm is the difference between a swan and aduck! ...And for goodness sakes, straighten those knees!"
  79. 79. And then came my lowest point of the day. I got fat. Humph, must have been all thecheese..."And dancings supposed to help you lose weight, but somehow youve managedto screw that up, too. Never in all my years have I seen or heard of someone whogained weight after working out! Look at you! Youre as big as a house!"GRR. I loathe that woman. And what was Gilbert doing during all this, do youwonder? Working, perhaps? Oh, no.
  80. 80. He was in front of his mirror. Seducing his own reflection. I however, still had work todo. Oh, yes, thats right, more work.
  81. 81. "Dance lessons are over for today; dont worry, though. Keep it up and youll getyour old figure back in no time. Unless you want to stay that way; your prerogative.But you can decide that later, back to the garden.""Are you serious? I gardened all morning!""And now its late afternoon and theres weeding and watering to be done. So,move it."
  82. 82. And thats how I ended up gardening at night: watering...
  83. 83. ...and weeding..."No, no, no! Not that, you ninny, thats the plant! Pull up the weeds, the weeds, girl!"
  84. 84. And then I had the pleasure of cleaning up the yard... (Stupid Maxis/EA no no petssign... *Grumble*)
  85. 85. ...and trimming the hedges.
  86. 86. When I finally came inside it was 8:30."Youre late! Dinner is supposed to be at seven! Poor Gilbert is starving! Hurry up andmake dinner and wash up so we can eat. I dont expect you to be so tardy in thefuture! You better finish your chores on time, or-""Or what? Youll send me to bed without supper?""No. Ill get out my simvac."*Gulp*
  87. 87. *Grumble* Its not like she couldnt have made dinner..."WHAT WAS THAT?""Nothing, madam, nothing.""DONT YOU USE THAT TONE WITH ME!""Yes, maam."
  88. 88. "Gilbert, dear, Im so sorry dinners late, but this ninny over here just cant seem toget her work done."
  89. 89. "Mother, will you stop? I told you that it was okay, and besides, it was her first dayand shes not accustomed to hard labor. Im sure shell get the hang of it tomorrow.""Thanks, Gilbert.""No problem." *Wink*"Humph, she better get the hang of it! We didnt do any laundry today, or do anybaking for the store!"D&G: *Sigh*
  90. 90. "Thats what our employees are for, mother.""But, its not the same! Those nincompoops dont know how to do anything! Ourcustomers expect quality, home baked goods!""Mother... Weve been over this before..."While those two debated, I cleaned up the kitchen. It was almost 10 oclock.Bedtime. I couldnt wait! I was dead on my feet, and my body ached for my soft,comfortable bed and pillow. I had almost made it to my room when—
  91. 91. "Dagmar!""Argh what, now? Ive cooked, cleaned, gardened, sewed, danced, and thencooked, cleaned, and gardened some more. Im tired, my feet hurt, my back hurts,and my brain hurts from thinking about cheese all frickin-frackin day. So, What,huh? What could you possibly have left for me to do that I didnt already do, huh?What next? Music lessons? Every girl needs to learn how to play an instrument? Orironing? You want me to iron Gilberts precious clothes for tomorrow? Or perhapsyou want me to get started on tomorrows work and do more cooking and sewing?What is it, huh? WHAT?"
  92. 92. "Humph, my mother died when I was young, and my father put me in charge of thehousehold and my three younger siblings since I was half your age. You think yourday was hard? I did double your amount of work every day since I was a teen. Stopbeing such a whiney baby. ...I swear, young people nowadays have no workethic... And anyway, I wanted you to pour me a glass of nectar. Its been a roughday."
  93. 93. She had a rough day? She had a rough day?!
  94. 94. "You know what? Pour yourself a glass, too. You look like you need it. Last thing Ineed is a maid with a nervous breakdown.""Thanks, Mrs. Jacquet; Thats very generous of you.""Huh, well dont expect it all the time. And I count my bottles, so don’t be sneakingin my cabinet, either.""Yes, maam."
  95. 95. Pretty soon, though, I was yawning into my glass. Although, that also might havehad to do with Mrs. Jacquets stories of when she was young.
  96. 96. "Good Plumbbob, girl! Youre falling asleep standing up! Go to bed already!""Yes, madam. Night."*Mutters*: "Pfft, youngins... Cant stay up past ten..."
  97. 97. I went and got ready for bed."I will get through this," I told my reflection, "I just have to think of a plan. Notcheese. A plan... b-but right now... r-right ...now" *Yawn* "I need some s-sleep..."
  98. 98. Exhausted, I got into bed. Always a night owl, I never thought Id be so happy to goto bed before 10 PM, but I quickly drifted off to sleep, worn out after my first day.
  99. 99. V: "BUUURRP. Oopsie! Excuse me."D: "Enjoying yourself, Veronica?"V: Yes, I am, thank you. And I would love to stay and read more of your story, but-"*Yawn* "Im getting sleepy... But this really was a good bedtime story, though. Illfinish reading about your torture some other time." *Goes to bed*D: Poor Veronica, she should have kept reading. Because this story isnt done yet,theres more, much more...
  100. 100. A few weeks later, I had adjusted to my new life and my new routine of chores. Infact, I was progressing so well, Mrs. Jacquet no longer felt the need to supervise mychores and bark orders over my shoulder every minute. Then, one day, as I wascleaning up the kitchen, it happened. A miracle."Hey, Dagmar, can you tell my mother Im going to check up on the bakery today?And tell her not to worry that I skipped breakfast; Ill pick something up.""Meh... Sure, Whatever.""Thanks." *Leaves*
  101. 101. "Dagmar!""What?""Im going for a jog, I should be back in an hour. Dont forget to wake Gilbert up forbreakfast.""Wait, Mrs. Jacquet-""What?"
  102. 102. I hesitated."Well, what is it?""Um, ..um, nothing, nothing, just that, uh, um, ...the ...the... groceries! Yeah! Were,uh, almost out of groceries.""Well, okay... order some more." *Leaves*
  103. 103. I couldnt believe it! An hour of freedom! It wasnt long enough to escape. Id needmore than an hour to make it safely downtown and any of the neighbors could spotme leaving and Mrs. Jacquet would just haul me back here once she found out.Then shed think of some other punishment for me. No, I couldnt escape... But, Icould make a call for help. I dashed to the phone and called my mentor."CrumpleBottom? CrumpleBottom, is that you? Oh, thank Plumbbob I got through!"
  104. 104. [Okay, sorry folks, but CrumpleButt here would not cooperate and pick up a phone.GRR, stupid NPC glitches. So, youll just have to use your imagination and pretend aphone is in her hand, ...or pretend shes using a video phone. Your choice.]"I trust that theres a reason youre calling me at this ungodly hour, Dagmar? Youknow I dont get up before 10 AM.""Yes, I need your help. Ive been kidnapped.""Really? Since when?"
  105. 105. "CrumpleBottom... Its been at least six weeks now.""Humph, well, I didnt notice.""How could you not notice? Im your top agent! All this time, Ive been slaving away,as a personal live-in maid, and you havent even noticed that your most loyal,trusted agent has been missing for a month and a half?"
  106. 106. "Well, you know... There was knitting to be done... And, of course, people to slap,young lovers to harass. I was busy."
  107. 107. "CrumpleBottom! Look, just send some agents over to get me out of here, and tellthem to be discreet. Im at the Jacquet residence in Bluewater-“"Wait a minute, Jacquet? Denise Jacquet?""Yes, she-"
  108. 108. "Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. I sorry Dagmar, but youll have to get yourself out ofthere. I used to go to school with her. Use to torment me every day, she did, her andthat Olive. Tried to steal my boyfriend, too! Why, that Olive... told me she was lettingme have him... letting me have him, humph! ...And then she had the nerve tothreaten me ...said if I ever crossed her or Denise, Id better watch out and I couldkiss my Grimy goodbye. ...As if she could get the Grim back just like that... Couldshe get the Grim back just like that?..."
  109. 109. "WELL, IM NOT GOING TO RISK IT. SETTLE THIS YOURSELF; I WANT NO PART OF THIS,ABSOLUTELY, NONE YOU HEAR? NO ONE TAKES MY GRIMY AWAY FROM ME! NOONE!!!" *CrumpleBottom, to herself*: Oh, I need a drink... Gotta calm my nerves..."
  110. 110. "Calm down, CrumpleBottom, I understand youre upset; theres no need to shout.But, how am I supposed to get out of here without your help?"
  111. 111. "That is none of my concern. In fact, I shouldnt even be talking to you, Denise mightget word back to Olive, so I really got to go-""Wait, wait, CrumpleBottom, what about Consort? Werent you going after him?How-"
  112. 112. "SHHH! No, of course I dont like Consort! DONT LISTEN TO HER, GRIMY! How couldyou say such a thing, Dagmar? Consort is chopped liver next to the Grim, AND IWOULD NEVER, EVER LEAVE MY GRIMY FOR THAT SCUM! YOU HERE THAT, GRIMY? Ivegot to go-""WAIT! Youre really just going to leave me high and dry? After everything Ive donefor you, after all the times Ive supported you, kept you safe in the TownieRebellion?"
  113. 113. "Um, yes. Comes with the job; you knew the risks, right? Dont worry, I wont let yoursacrifice go in vain, Ill get you a plaque or something." *Click*
  114. 114. "But I dont want a plaque! I want to escape! Hello? HELLO? CRUMPLEBOTTOM?!"I tried calling her back, but she wouldnt answer. Then Mrs. Jacquet came back andafter I told her where Gilbert had gone, it was back to work.
  115. 115. The Jacquets never did find out that I tricked them, but I was worried, nonetheless. Ialways thought that CrumpleBottom was looking for me, that shed send someagents to come rescue me. But it seems Denise was right; CrumpleBottom really isafraid of her and Olive Specter. Now my only chance of escape is gone. ...Or is it? Iguess I still had some of the brains of a knowledge sim because it wasnt longbefore I thought of a Plan B. This time, though, I would only rely on myself. No moretrusting people. This plan was brilliant, flawless even, although a trifle complicatedand time consuming. But then I had nothing but time on my hands, plus the longer Istayed, the more the Jacquets would trust me and the more freedom I would gain.
  116. 116. I decided to put phase one of my plan into action that night, after Denise had goneto sleep.
  117. 117. The cranky old witch was dead asleep as I crept out of bed and over to the vanity.
  118. 118. She didnt even stir as the lights went on. Pfft. Old People. What can you expect?Anyway, I did what I could to make myself presentable. Using Mrs. Jacquets limitedsupply of makeup, and a decent little blue dress I found in Mrs. Jacquets equallylimited wardrobe earlier that night, I got myself ready. Because tonight wasOperation: Seduce Gilbert. It shouldnt be too hard, I am a woman, and Gilbert isromance. Hell do anything for woohoo. And once I have that twit wrapped aroundmy fingers, itll be easy to get the heck out of here and win back Veronica.
  119. 119. I snuck out of the room and turned off the light quietly, lest I disturb Mrs. Jacquet.Then I made my way upstairs to Gilberts room. The old fool was exactly where Idthought hed be: in front of the mirror.
  120. 120. Gilbert couldnt believe what he was seeing in the mirror. A gorgeous woman in ashort blue floral dress that hugged her curves had appeared in his mirror, while hewas practicing his moves. It was just like some fantasy romance novel. Wait, hethought to himself, She looks familiar... Gilbert whirled around."D-Dagmar? Is that you?" he asked in disbelief.
  121. 121. "Hello, Gilbert."*****And THATs where Im ending it. Evil, I know. So. Wondering what Dagmars gonnado? What about Gilbert, whats he gonna do? Will he betray Veronicas trust? Andspeaking of Veronica, whats she gonna do if she finds out what Dagmars up to? Butwill she ever find out? Answers to those questions and more are waiting in the nextchapter. Later, simmers & happy reading.

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