The final chapter of the Squeaky Clean Legacy

2. Welcome back to the Squeaky Clean Legacy for the last 8me. Four years
have gone into this—four years of pink, girls, good behavior, and mostly
happy endings. And at this point, my simself has only one ques8on. . .

3. Sim Me: How the heck do I finish this off? This took a lot longer than I
thought it would, with one thing and another‐‐

4. ‐‐and I am not going to admit to geLng distracted wri8ng other things.
Excuse me.

5. Flavius: Um, Prof? I was wondering if. . . .you haven’t really included much
about the Romans, or me, lately, and you’re finishing everything up . . .
And I think I’ve done some service to this Legacy, and . . .
Sim Me: And you want to have some more face 8me for yourself and all the
Romans.
Flavius: Um. . .yes.

6. Sim Me: Well, Flavius, I think that’s fair. ASer all, this Legacy wouldn’t
have been what it was without all the Roman refugees from *Ten
Caesars.* And you have succeeded at running for Mayor, and Making
Things More Roman Around Here . . .
Flavius: And Twelve Labors.
Sim Me: Almost Twelve Sort of Labors, yes.

7. Sim Me: So yes, Flavius. You may have your face 8me.

8. Flavius: *8ng*

9. Marcus is De and Cassius’ son, and when the rebuild happened, he lost
his perfectly nice middle‐aged life with his husband Greg and went back
to being a toddler. Toilet‐training all over again. High school all over
again. Think about it. So it is high 8me he graduated from college.

10. I also had to rebuild his house. Mykonos is named aSer a Greek island
notable for its seaside resort friendly to gentlemen seeking mutual
interests. Like any Greek island, it is strong on the use of stucco and a lot
of blue. The saunas and hot tubs are op8onal.

11. Most of the guests are college friends, of whom Marcus and Greg have a
lot.

12. Note also that Marcus and Greg live in what might be called the Roman
Quarter.

13. And because I cannot resist taking arty wedding pix. . .

14. De’s always thrilled to see one of her kids or grandkids get married,
Cassius is thrilled that she’s thrilled, and Flavius just likes a good party.

15. The cake looks delicious, and while it is being cut . . .

16. . . .an uninvited guest arrives. I was actually quite relieved to see S8nky
the Skunk show up, as Zane keeps wan8ng to be Friends with Prof in a
way that rather worries me. And that is not what weddings are for.

17. Ideally, a wedding should be spent queuing up for the bathroom and
thinking hate thoughts about the Sims who are occupying it.

18. Orikes: So how is the mayoral campaign going?

19. Flavius: Agh, don’t ask. I think I’ve had it with poli8cians.
*universe ceases in its mo8on*

20. Ul8mately, Greg makes it clear that the wedding is over and that it is high
8me for everyone to go home. Running around nude will do that.

21. I men8oned that Marcus and Greg live in the Roman Quarter. You can
see their home from this Roman villa‐‐

22. ‐‐which is flanked by the Roman villa in which Sim Prof, Flavius, Cassius
and De live on the other side.

23. This is the home of Cassius and De’s descendents, all Romans and their
Simself wives. From leS to right: Cassius and De, Octavius and Denise/
Avidreader, Decimus and Penguingirl, Ter8us and Orikes, Sextus and
Purplebunny. . .

24. And now there will be another Roman heir and Simself bride.

25. Duodecimus, Sextus and Purple Bunny’s son, moved home from college
and invited RoseFyre, the author of the Buffyverse Apocalypse, to move
in.

26. It did not take her long to find an appropriate Roman wedding dress, or
to begin to fit in.

27. Simselves tend to be the most frivolous and least focused Sims in my
game.

28. They also have trouble with concepts like Knowing When to Come in Out
of the Rain.

29. Most of the Simselves in the neighborhood have been invited to the
wedding. This requires a lot of chairs.

30. Purple Bunny: I thought I’d wear my old wedding dress to my son’s
wedding. Saves 8me, don’t you think?
De: Oh yes! I always do!
To be fair, De’s dress does not shriek “wedding dress.”

31. Soon, most of the Simselves are seated and talking about the stuff
simselves usually talk about: lips, hearts. . .

32. . . . .first WooHoo, and who is a Popularity Sim. And they have short
aden8on spans.

33. Almost everyone sits down, kind of. There’s always one—in this case, Kai,
the youngest Goodytwoshoes son.

34. Even the world’s shortest ceremony‐‐

35. ‐‐is not short enough to keep Simselves from geLng bored. Already
wandering away: Lily/ Cobaltazure, Marina/Smoothiequeen. Already
throwing water balloons: Candi.

36. Sim Me: Hey, Di, thanks for the 8ps on how to make Sim get in their
seats for weddings and stay there. It works mostly most of the 8me.
Dicreasy: No worries.

37. Peasant007, RegacyLady, Marina: Bored derp de derp.

38. Rose, you might want to hurry up cuLng that cake: the sun is going to set
and otherwise it will be too. . .

39. . . . late. Oh, well. This is what happens when you start a wedding late,
but in fairness, Purple Bunny had to go to her job and get a promo8on to
Restaurant Hostess.

40. Lots of Simselves made a beeline for the cake.

41. My simself was not one of them. She wandered over and looked at the
cake, but did not take a piece. This is out of character. My actual self is
more like those nature documentaries in which things are Skeletonized
Within Minutes and Nothing Goes To Waste.

42. Peasant007 actually strolled by with my piece of cake, right in front of
me. Rubbing it in. That’s harsh.

43. Orikes got cake, and she had to cut off a conversa8on with Flavius to do
it.

44. Decimus: Mmm, strawberries.
Rosefyre: She didn’t even get cake?
Penguingirl: Rome is harsh, dear.
Rosefyre: Did anyone else not get cake?

45. Cait/RegacyLady: Whooza good girl den? Duzzem girl wanna chasa s8ck?
Yes, she does. Yes, she duuuuzzzz.

46. Cassius: Pointless gossip we could exchange at home!
De: Snerk!

47. And why bother with a wedding with 25 Sim guests, most of them
Simselves, all of whom make me want to tear my hair out?

48. It makes Flavius happy.
Toast: Oh, you’re kidding.
Look! He got to Meet Someone New!

49. Cassius: Ma, you are KIDDING.
Nope, I’m not. Did I men8on he likes red headed simselves, too?

50. Before we can get to the next wedding, we need to deal with the
consequences of an earlier one. Caspian and Mor8cia Goth were both
very happy to welcome into the neighborhood‐‐

51. ‐‐Aravis Goth. You may remember that Caspian (Cassandra) Goth
married Darya (Darren) Dreamer? Yes.

52. He was thrilled and it made up for having the cookies slapped out of him
by his former fiance, Donna Lothario.

53. Gothy toddlers need gothy dresses, and she has a personality to match:
Scorpio, 7/2/9/7/1.

54. Alexandra Goth is gradua8ng from college. She is one of several
Weivtnasaelp young people who have successfully put the older
genera8on’s dysfunc8on behind them.

55. Mor8cia: I’m so proud of you, Alexandra.
Alexandra: Thanks, Mother. Let me introduce you to my fiance.

56. Alex: I’d like you to meet Vespasian Caesar.
Families don’t get more establishment Old Weivtnasaelp than the Goths,
and they don’t get more establishment Roman than the Caesars, so it’s
fiLng that they finally merge.

57. Most of the other Weivtnasaelp college kids enjoy the party, too. LeS to
right: Dionne Dreamer (or part of her); Lionel Pleasant, Linus Burb (and in
raspberry pink sweater at front, his boyfriend, Ethan Chalmers). Not
enjoying the party at far right; Angus Pleasant.

58. Angus: Now that Alex is gradua8ng, we’ll all be gradua8ng and I’ll be out and
making a mark on the word as an adult.
Hope springs eternal.

59. It would probably have been beder to *poof* into adulthood someplace
other than the head of the stairs, as it makes everyone very cranky.

60. At Caesar’s Palace, Domi8an goes about his du8es with Imperial dignity.
Actually, most of the family gave up thinking of themselves as Imperial a long
8me ago. With power comes great vulnerability and the need for employing
food tasters, and as far as they’re concerned, you can have it.
Domi8an’s wife Diana is a seventh genera8on spare Goodytwoshoes. She
thinks the house is named aSer the Vegas casino, with all the games around,
and he’s never bothered to enlighten her.

61. Flavius: Prof, why are we siLng all the way in the back?
Cassius: Yeah, good ques8on: why are we?
We’re siLng in the back because people in our posi8on don’t need to
push ourselves to the front, and besides‐‐‐

62. ‐‐there are a lot of guests.

63. Romans on the groom’s side‐‐this includes Vespasian’s father, Titus, and
his mother, the former Meadow Thayer; Weivtnasaelp on the bride’s
side; and you’ll no8ce we are indeed at the very back.

64. Considering that it’s such a momentous occasion, you would think more
of the wedding guests would be watching it.

65. That’s beder. And for all the heavy implica8ons of a Goth‐Caesar
alliance, Vespasian and Alex are much more interested in simply being
married.

66. Ah. Someone did not find a seat. There’s always one.

67. Alexandra is clearly happy to be marrying Vespasian, but how does
Mor8cia feel about her daughter marrying a Roman invader?

68. Oh, ok.
‐‐‐
The Romans are triple invaders, in fact: the Goodytwoshoes virtually took
over Pleasantview, then Flavius and Publius came from Rome and Flavius
issued a “y’all come,” and then EVERYONE colonized Weivtansaelp. This is
not like actual history, in which the Goths invaded Rome. It is important
to keep these facts clear.

69. Alexandra: Have some cake, Mr. Caesar.

70. Diana: Aw. I love being Mrs. Caesar.
Diana Caesar.
Diana: Domi8an calls me “Empress.” It’s the cutest pet name.
While all seems happy at this wedding‐‐

71. An uninvited guest appears.
Angus Pleasant: The invita8on was probably lost.
Belle Broke: Uh‐oh.

72. Lionel: What are you doing here, Angus?
Angus: I was going to get some cake.

73. Angus: But while I’m here, I’ll get some of this, too.
This looks as though it could be a very ugly situa8on indeed.

74. Domi8an is not known for being the sharpest knife in the drawer. He had
troubles geLng dates in college—a bider pill for a Pleasure Sim‐‐ and no
real interest in anything else but gaming. But without directly
acknowledging the incipient fight, he steps in and ‐‐‐
Domi8an: You must be one of Alex’s friends, Mr. Pleasant. Tell me about
yourself.

75. Angus is always happy to tell anyone about himself, at great length, so
problem avoided for now.

76. De: I’m not hearing horrible screaming.
Because that never happens at Roman weddings.
De: Of course not! Mmm, cake.

77. Angus’ adempts to commit mayhem on Lionel were repeatedly averted,
first by Domi8an stepping in to talk to him on free will, then by his
inability to find his way out of the hedge maze‐‐

78. ‐‐and finally by Dionne clobbering him with a water balloon.

79. Alex: Do you think there’s room for one more lidle Caesar?
Well, put it like that—a Goth/Caesar child—how could I resist?

80. Everyone clusters around to see the new baby, except for Diana, who is
bored by babies.

81. It’s Meadow who is most taken with her new granddaughter, however.

82. The last lidle Caesar—or Goth— Hadriana Caesar. She has a personality
fiLng for both a Goth and a Caesar: Gemini, 6/9/9/10/1, and the very
youngest and last of the Romans.

83. The last of De Beers’ line, Bunthorne, graduates from college and leaves
the boys’ house.

84. De Beers himself is amazingly s8ll going strong. Perhaps not so amazing,
as his older brother Cecil is perennially in his mid‐40s, but Cecil is an elixir
addict, and his younger brother Lydon looks very young, but he is much
younger than De Beers.

85. It’s hard to languish and say “alas!” in military uniform when you are at a
party, mee8ng new people, but Dante Gabriel manages.

86. Dante Gabriel: Ah, the sight of the old fraternity. . .and yet NOT the old
fraternity at all. It makes me melancholy. Where are the snows of yesteryear?
Bunthorne: Grandpa, before you start snowing on everything, I’d like you to
meet Dusty.

87. Dusty: Hi, Mr. Goodytwoshoes.
Dante Gabriel: . . . . +1000.

88. Barred and his wife, the former Heather Huffington, can’t really be
interested in anything except partying.

89. *Poof*
Do you have plans, Bunthorne?
Bunthorne: Have you ever heard of a Fortune Sim without one? Oh, yes,
plans.

90. A plan, but not an evil one, evidently, at least not so far. It’s a very nice
house, and it’s right across the street from Bunthorne’s family and the De
Beers gallery.

91. A house with an interes8ng layout, in fact. A main house, and then what
looks like a miniature apartment connected by a bridge. But why would a
young couple want to move into a house like that?

92. Brandon: Come on, Scarled. You want to meet Aunt Dusty, don’t you?

93. Dusty: Congratula8ons, Dusty! You’ve done so well. I wish I could have
helped you more. What a lovely new house.
Dusty: You really like it, Dad?

94. Dusty: Because it’s part yours.
Brandon: Dusty. . .
Dusty: No arguments, Daddy. It was Bunthorne’s idea. We really want
you and Scarled here. It’s what we always planned.

95. And they’ve moved in just in 8me for a wedding, too.

96. I hope Brandon doesn’t follow through on that Adop8on wish.

97. Bunthorne: Psst. Honey. I stole it for you.
Dusty: Aw, you’re sweet.

98. Ah, the romance.

99. The center of aden8on at this wedding doesn’t seem to be the bride, but
the bride’s sister.

100. Dionne’s happy to meet Scarled.

101. And Dante Gabriel’s always happy to Meet Anyone New. As happy as he gets
about anything.
Dante Gabriel: Alas.

102. Brandon: Come on, sweetheart. Busy day for a lidle lady. Time for your
nap.

103. There’s just enough room for both of them and a lidle privacy.

104. Everyone needs a lidle privacy from 8me to 8me. And a chance for a pair
of newlyweds to fulfill their dreams. . .

105. ‐‐running a larcenous business, Aesthe8c Art. They ARE Fortune Sims.

106. Bunthorne: Elaine! You can be the first customer to buy something. C’mon. Pink.
Fairies. How can you say no to pink fairies?
Elaine: But we have one just like it at home.
***
The art is by Simgaroop; you may recognize Titania and Oberon.

107. Bunthorne: Hmmm. He’s certainly got the money to be a good customer,
from what I hear.

108. Cecil: A classic work of art—and with Elaine as a model. Perhaps this would be
a wise purchase.
***
Waterhouse’s The Lady of ShalloG.

109. Cecil: Yes. I shall want to take this with me.

110. Bunthorne: I think I’ve got some pain8ngs you’d enjoy, Orikes.
Orikes: The one behind me?

111. Bunthorne: I was thinking the one over there, actually.
***
Psyche at the door of Cupid’s Garden, Waterhouse. The model is Miranda
Legacina, from the Pseudo Legacy.

112. Bunthorne: But this might interest you as well.
***
NoiseGes, by Bougereau; models are Star and Louise from The Pseudo
Legacy.
All of these classic works of art have been recreated with Sims by
DGJamie, many of them with Maxis Sims. Check them out!

113. One purpose for impor8ng Legacy Sims is to sell them things.
Eddie Legacy: I do not really wish to purchase anything‐‐

114. ‐‐well, all right.
Poor Eddie. He’s much too nice to say no, even though he found
Bunthorne’s aLtude very off‐puLng.

115. Rhys Fitzhugh: I’m meaner than spit, but I s8ll buy stuff. Ice cream, big
stupid pink bears, knockoff artwork, I’m your man.

116. He picks fights, too. Let it GO, Rhys.

117. RubyBlue: I’m happy to spread some money around, and Lydon will love it!
***
Belated “Happy Birthday” to RubyBlue, and thanks once again for loaning me
Dinadan!

118. The Knights con8nue to be chivalrous. Gawaine is now—
A heartless corporate lawyer?
Gawaine: Of course not. I am The Law. Surely there is no higher
ambi8on for a knight than maintaining The Law.

119. Parsifal has devoted himself to feats of physical courage.

120. And he and Gawaine have been given Taffy and Smores as a reward,
although I shall not fulfill that Twenty Pet Best Friends LTW.

121. Their bachelor home has become a focus of social ac8vity; a sort of court,
if you will. And like any focus of social ac8vity, it is bound to become full
of Simselves.

122. Simselves are also adracted by the mul8ple Fun items in the house.

123. Naturally, their sister and their brother‐in‐law are always welcome.

124. Purple Bunny: So what you think they’ll do now that the legacy is
ending? I mean, what do ninth genera8on spares do with their 8me? It’s
not like they can run around wearing pink dresses.

125. This may have been a tactless remark. However, while Parsifal and
Gawaine may have no plans other than con8nuing their careers‐‐

126. ‐‐ someone may be able to come up with something.

127. Parsifal: Such as training the next genera8on in feats of arms! This is obviously
what we will do.
And that, yes.

128. Ian has soldiered on earning the gold toymaking badge all
Goodytwoshoes husbands have earned, even though he didn’t really
need to.

129. He has also been running the toy store, and it has been doing a roaring
business. There is also probably some sa8sfac8on in being able to sell
light up reindeers to other unfortunate people.

130. Killick: Which you will be wan8n’ to buy a )*&*&%^&in’ big stupid bear.
Zane is torn between his disapproval of Killick’s bad language and his
desire to be helpful, plus the bait of buying something cute his daughters
might like. Basically, he’s a sucker.

131. Killick: Which you will be wan8n’ to buy a small stupid pink bear.

132. Back at home, the youngest Genera8on Ten Goodytwoshoes child is
about to have her birthday.

133. Note that Elaine looks really happy as a wife and mother, and also that
even as a baby, MacKenzie is smart enough to know that Uncle Parsifal is
a Popularity Sim.

134. MacKenzie has a good personality for an heiress if we needed one,
which we don’t because she’s already got an older sister and we are at
the very end. For the record: Cancer, 7/3/9/8/7.

135. Without apology, what follows are some cute toddler pictures.

140. Neither Elaine nor I have totally forgoden our responsibili8es, however,
and she teaches MacKenzie to walk‐‐

141. ‐‐ and to talk.
She’s learned how to say “buy a nice toy bear” perfectly. If we s8ll had to
run the toy store, she’d be all set.

142. Elaine also taught Rowena and Brian how to do homework‐‐

143. ‐‐ although they were certainly allowed to goof off as much as they
wanted to, and why not?

144. And finally, it is 8me for a most important birthday: possibly the most
important birthday of all.

145. Rowena: I wish for adventure!
Don’t do that!
Rowena: Don’t worry. Whatever happens is an adventure.

146. This appeals enormously to her knightly uncles‐‐‐

147. ‐‐and to her roman8c mother.

148. Pleasure!
Rowena: That’ll be an adventure!
Brian: Yay, it will!
Nausicaa: WOOT!
***
Celebrity Chef. As Ian said, “I used to run a restaurant.” Maybe it’s in the
genes.

149. Rowena: You know what would be REALLY adventurous, Uncle Gawaine?
You ought to go on a quest. I mean you’ve been all knightly and
protec8ve but knights are supposed to go on quests, right, and they’re
supposed to have lady loves, and maybe you should have one of those
and you could go somewhere cool maybe on a horse even and find one!
Gawaine: Hah hah. Don’t you have a cake to eat?

150. Ian: Maybe that’s a good idea. ASer all, Elaine and I wouldn’t have
goden together without your interference, I mean, help. Maybe we
should return the favor.
Gawaine: No. You wouldn’t.
Ian: . . . Of course we won’t. Forget I said anything.

151. Rowena: Time to take you to bed, MacKenzie. You’re asleep with your
eyes open.

152. Bright eyes and any future she wants. It’s an enviable posi8on.

153. Gawaine: We just want you to know that your uncles are sworn to
defend you as well.
Parsifal: And remember, purity of heart gives you the strength of ten.
Gawaine: Yes, thank you, Percy. And happy birthday.

154. It looks as though it was.

155. A family portrait‐‐

156. ‐‐‐ and the faces of Genera8on 10.

159. Cecil, that’s not luggage. You surely cannot be. . .
packing?

160. Cecil: Why would I not? The Legacy has reached its conclusion.

161. The family has reached its tenth genera8on without having destroyed its high
standards and good name, which I had cause to doubt. I am no longer
required to act as censor and guardian of correct behavior. They Have Been
Good.
In short, I am no longer needed.

162. Perhaps I shall return. Perhaps I shall not. On the whole, I think not.

163. My daughter has made a full recovery, and I have reason to believe will
marry again, perhaps more wisely than before.

164. My grandson lives a life that is useful ‐‐

165. In fact, I have been informed, even happy‐‐

166. ~~although I would much prefer not to know the parPculars.

167. And if I have served my purpose; if I have maintained the family’s good
name; if I have in fact Been Good ‐‐

168. ‐‐then I am, at least in some measure‐‐

169. ‐‐content.

170. Fish. . .

171. Clock . . .

172. Honeybun.

177. Tomorrow to fresh woods~~!

178. ~~and pastures new.!
" " " " " "John Milton, “Lycidas”!

179. Acknowledgements
There are so many people to thank that my fellow historian Lydon
Goodytwoshoes and I scarcely know where to start!
But the very first people I need to thank are you, gentle readers. Many people
say “oh, write a legacy for yourself, never mind about the readers,” but readers
make it much more fun, and I’m deeply grateful to anyone who took the 8me
to read, whether you have commented or not. Special thanks to those early
readers back in the “great theme!—and can you keep plumbbobs out of your
pictures?” days: Marina/Smoothiequeen, Blite27/Legionary27 , WriterTina,
Purple Bunny, and De/Fireflower.

180. “Oh my stars and garters, we are going to forget someone!”
I hope not! Many, many people have loaned me legacy Sims over the
years, and my heiresses have been marrying them since Genera8on
Three. Here is a par8al list. Sims who were married in are in bold
typeface.

181. Spouses married in
Genera6on Three: Publius Numan6us Scipio: Ten Caesars, Blite27
Genera6on Four: Spencer Fitzhugh: Fitzhugh Legacy and Villainous
Apocalypse, Marina/Smoothiequeen
Genera6on Five: Gaius Caesar, Ten Caesars (the only Legacy to provide
me with two Sim husbands)
Genera6on Six: Nelson Penguino: Penguino Legacy, Penguingirl
Genera6on Seven: Jack Buccaneer: PiraPcal Legacy, Purple Bunny/
WriterAissa
Genera6on Eight: Dinadan Locks: Goldilocks and the Nine Heirs,
Rubyblue
Genera6on Nine: Ian Legacina: Pseudo Legacy, Orikes

182. Cast
Boom Boom Apocalypso: Apocalypse a Go Go, Ephemeral Toast
Apollo and Artemis Bohemian: Bohemian Legacy, DocGirlP/DGJamie
Eddie and Ivy Buccaneer: PiraPcal Legacy, Purple Bunny/WriterAissa
Drusus, Marcellus, and Tiberius Caesar, Flavius and Cassius Marius: Ten
Caesars, Blite27. This Legacy encouraged me to start my own, and has
supplied me with more Sims than any other.
Sugar Darling: It’s a Legacy Darling! The Almighty Robinoli
Zane Devereaux: Devereaux Legacy, Peasant007
Rhys Fitzhugh: Fitzhugh Legacy and Villainous Apocalypse, Marina/
Smoothiequeen
Brody Legacina: Pseudo Legacy, Orikes
Eddie and Stanley Legacy and Theo Harrison: Victorian Legacy, Dicreasy
Captain Cook and Popper Penguino: Penguino Legacy, Penguingirl
Don the Zombie, Gage, and Samara Uglacy: The Uglacy, Candi
Archimedes, Cassidy, Cypress, and Spider Jerusalem Ve8nari: VePnari
Dualegacy, DoctorSupremeNerd

183. Simselves
You can safely assume that anyone whose Sim I borrowed also appeared
as a Simself. Others include:
De/Fireflower: Morgan Legacy. She deserves a line to herself for
marrying Cassius and becoming a character in her own right.
Renee/Cowforbrains
Michelle Fobbs, Planetary Apocalypse
Stacilee, Whedonberry
WriterTina, Highwinds Legacy
RoseFyre, Buffyverse Apocalypse
Cait/Cee/Regacy Lady: The Regacy
Lily/Cobaltazure: An Apocalypse of Ice and Fire

184. Custom content
Another special thanks goes to those who provided special items when I begged in
despera8on: RubyBlue for the white recolor of knicker suits for Cecil and Max; RegacyLady for
Elaine’s beau8ful wedding veil; and Dicreasy for the skin blend that solved the –
Lydon: Prof! PLEASE!
The, um, “anatomical surprise” problem.
To Orikes, my favorite creator of graphics, builder of houses, and extractor of Sims.
To Ndainye/Jenn, who saved the Legacy by extrac8ng the unextractable.
To Jamie, purveyor of fine art.

185. “Good. . . Good. . . Goodbye.
***
Squeaky Clean Productions, MMXI.