Cassius Marius is participating in a Bachelor Challenge hosted by the author. He must complete activities like chess matches and hot tub time with five female sims vying for his attention. Cassius dislikes most of the tasks and tries to cheat during games. De seems to be in the lead with the highest chemistry and affection with Cassius. Plumbing issues plague the house, slowing progress of the challenge. By the halfway point, Candi has been eliminated due to her low scores and chemistry with Cassius. The author considers inviting Cassius' parents to join and complicate the dynamics further.

2. ! Hello, I'm Rhys Fitzhugh from Smoothiequeen/Marina’s Fitzhugh Legacy, and I'm supposed to
be playing host to a chapter of a Bachelor Challenge about a grouchy, mean, Scorpio Romance
Sim. But since it's not about me, I'd like to know where the author gets off making me do this,
plus I still hate this orange dress!

3. Tough beans, Rhys. No, this is the "Cassius, this is your mother, why haven't you called?"
Bachelor Challenge. The bachelor in question is Cassius Marius, the skankmeister from Blite27's
Ten Caesar's Legacy, and the author's simself is, embarrassingly enough, his mother. Since I'm the
author of the Squeaky Clean Legacy, I thought it would be fun to put Cassius through a Bachelor
Challenge where he has no fun at all.

4. ! Ah, Remington, maybe you're only the maid around here, but you are a breath of Squeaky Clean
fresh air to me. He is, as you might know, the husband of the second generation heiress in my
Squeaky Clean Legacy, and they don't make them Squeaky Cleaner than Remington.
! Remington: There are girls! And it's a shower!
! Yes, and even Sims take their clothes off to shower, though there's nothing worthwhile to see.
Perhaps you could make beds or clean the toilets, since you're so easily shocked. Poor boy.

5. ! At the end of the last round, Purple Bunny (Piratical Legacy) was eliminated owing to her
stunning lack of interest in Cassius. That leaves five lady simselves: Candi, of the Uglacy, the
Prettacy, and the Gage Bachelor Challenge; Marina, aka smoothiequeen, author of the Fitzhugh
Legacy; Orikes, the author of the Pseudo Legacy; Renee, author of the Fear Legacy and many
others, but mostly known for offing Sims (and Cassius' great aunt in the Legacy he's originally
from); and De, who's appeared in the Fitzhughs a lot lately and seems to tolerate Romance Sims
reasonably well.

6. ! At this point, Cassius is supposed to fit in five chess matches and two hours of hot tubbing before
bedtime. Sounds easy, right? I mean how hard can it be? Hard. Because he's a grouchy Sim who's
even grouchier when he doesn't get his eighteen hours of beauty sleep.
! I do not wish to know what he is saying to Marina about stacks here, but it doesn't matter because
he is going to try to cheat her. This is what he does to girls he likes.

7. ! Marina catches him, and she is not pleased.
! Cassius: Yeah, yeah, big deal, my hand slipped, so sue me.
! Some Sims aren't so fussy.

8. ! Fireflower: Hi, guys! Oo, chess! That looks like fun! Can I watch you? Can I can I?
! OK, Marina, you can stop now, and we'll ask De to –

9. ! Join him?
! She does not wait to be asked. She sits down and starts playing the second there's a vacancy. She
is so unreasonably nice to him, which makes it doubly sad that he is about to cheat. Again.

10. ! And she never catches on.
! De: Oh, really, Cassius? There's something behind me?
! Somehow I am beginning to understand how she got with Rhys Fitzhugh. Maybe that's why he's
so bitter about hosting this chapter.
! There is no way we're getting Cassius to sit through five straight chess games, so let's do the hot
tub thing now.

11. ! Lucky lucky lady Sims at the finish--Fireflower, Marina, and Renee. Two of his top picks, though
he's grousing about something he hates, as usual.

12. ! Hmmm, De, I thought you and Marina were friends. Is there a teensy bit of possessiveness
creeping in? Not jealousy, as I have made darned sure that nobody has been caught doing
anything.

13. ! Renee: Yeah, mister, I catch you cheating on me and even the cops can't help you.
!
! Consider him duly warned, Renee.

14. ! Cassius: More stupid chess. I'm tired! I want to go to bed! And I mean, to sleep!
! Which is a sad, sad thing for a Romance Sim to say. Boy, good thing he's not Popularity, huh?

15. ! Cassius: Orikes! Look over there!
! As I said--he does this to girls he likes, and he likes her.
! I don't know what any of these simselves have done to deserve him in their lives.

16. ! I glanced over at the kitchen and found Renee doing this. What the--? Renee? What is eating you?
! Renee: I'm a Family Sim! I'm about to go into failure! I want somebody to be my friend, and I
want a puppy!
! Oh, crumbs. Well, you can forget about the puppy, but I'll try to help.

17. ! De was heading for bed, but she didn't mind playing Red Hands with Renee. However, they’re
already friends, and they'd have to be best friends for Renee to feel better, so nice try, but no dice.

18. ! Anyway, De, it was nice of you to try to help, and hey--where are you going?

19. ! De: Oh, la la--I am so going to win this thing!
! Look at that! He is totally zonked at this point. He does not even know she's there. I had to let
him go to bed because he simply could not handle one more chess match without some sleep.
You go right back to your own bed, young lady, and don't let me catch you doing this again, you
hear me? He has to play another game of chess with Renee in a few hours.

20. ! De: Hi, guys! Ooo, chess! That looks like fun! Can I watch you? Can I can I?
! It is so hard saving you from yourself. Maybe you should go make some drinks, as that's
something you want to do anyway.
! This has the side benefit of making everyone who's awake in the house say to themselves, "Ooo!
Drinks! Where?"

21. ! Cassius: So Renee, I'm supposed to say something entertaining.
! Renee: Whatever.
! As I said, usually the chess matches are during the day and the flirts are the next morning, but we
had to break things up a little for Mr. "I'm Even Grouchier When I'm Sleepy" here.

22. ! The problem with these repetitive actions is that you lose count of what you've done with whom
and how many times, so to speak. Anyway, I was supposed to make him flirt with Renee twice
but I may have accidentally made him do it three times, and clearly she likes him.
! Renee: I may have found a man as mean as I am.
! Maybe.

23. ! Renee: Ah hah hah! I'm sad! I still want a puppy! I'm a Family Sim and I do not feel good about
this!
! Candi: Yeah, well, I'm a Family Sim too, and you don't see me crying. Suck it up, sister. And
have a drink. It'll make you feel better.

24. ! I repeat, two flirts. Of course, what kind of flirting depends on how well they get along. For some
reason, even though it's not as far up the scale, I have had "Caress" shot down more times than
just about anything except "Hold Hands." My guess is while it's less overt, it's much more
genuinely affectionate. No problem here with De.

25. ! Cassius: Whew! As far as I'm concerned this challenge is over right now! She has got it all!
! She certainly seems to. She is well ahead of the pack again and they are up to three bolt
chemistry by now. I don't often pay attention to things like chemistry ratcheting up, but this is
unmistakable. Look, De, my simself is his mother, for crying out loud, and I'm telling you: he's no
good. Save yourself while you can!

26. ! Flirting does not go so well with Marina.
! Cassius: WELL. If you don't want me, then fine, there are women who do!
! I'm not making them parade around in their undies to be risque. It’s just a big pain making them
change. They revert to fully dressed when they shower, and sometimes that's easier to do. Still
have five girls in the house, remember? Also, underwear is not one of Cassius' turn ons, so it
doesn't make a lot of difference.

27. ! Cassius: Listen, lady, this thing doesn't have any pockets and I don't know whether I'm happy to
see you or not.
! Such a charmer. Something must be bugging him.

28. ! Remember this? We had another shower blowout today and had to call the repairman again
because everyone is too incompetent to fix the shower. Meanwhile, there are puddles everywhere,
and everyone's environment bottoms out when they have to take a shower. Candi's simself
actually freaked out about it. So what's the problem now?

29. ! Cassius: The toilet's plugged up!
! Oh, for crying out loud. Other people's Bachelor Challenges don't have plumbing troubles. Stalker
werewolves, yes, but plumbing problems; that's just so unromantic. What's next--a service line on
the Maxis phone labelled "Roto-Rooter?” I made Orikes fix the toilet because she's awake and
Cassius is busy. Believe me, it would be a relief to my feelings to make him do it, but we just can't
spare the time. Sorry, Orikes. Your Simself is a good sport.

30. ! Cassius: If we’d been using a Roman crapper, none of this would’ve happened!

31. ! De, what are you doing out of bed?
! "It's almost noon."
! Yes, that's true, but everyone is so tired that I put them to bed. You can all wake up and do the
hot tub stuff later, when you're rested.
! "I can't sleep. I'm so anxious. Are you sending me away?"
! Not a chance.

32. ! "What are you waking me up for?"
! Because, Candi, your simself is the one getting eliminated this round. At 97, you are only
five points behind Renee, but you're still in last place. You have bad chemistry with
Cassius. So does Marina; she doesn't even like him and they're not friends, but he likes her
anyway and has a crush on her. What's really sad is that you seem to have a crush on him,
which he does not return.
! Candi: Don't worry about me. I am definitely going to bounce back from this.
! She will. She's very sensible. Unlike some Sims we could mention.

33. ! De: Hee hee! I am so going to win this thing!
! Maybe you are, but you are not going to hang out on Cassius' bed, especially not while he's in it!
Honestly, it's like talking to a brick wall!

34. ! Final score Thursday at noon: De far in the lead at 148 points, crush and three bolts. They'll be in
love in about five minutes. It's nauseating. Marina is in second place at 115 points. He has a crush
on her, though she does not like him and I mean at all and the chemistry's lousy. Orikes is at 105
points--still "just friends," but that could still change. Renee is still in the game at 103 points with
one bolt and in crush status, close enough to Orikes to make things interesting. But we could
make things still more interesting.
! Hmm. . . Cassius must miss his Mom and Dad by now. Maybe we should invite him over and let
him bring his little friends.