The Squeaky Clean LegacyBy Professor ButtersChapter Three—University Days
When we last le+ our Squeaky Clean legacy, six of the Goodytwoshoes kids-‐-‐Mor>mer, Abner, Daisie Mae, Abijah, Sam, and Hopeful, had been sent to University, leaving the seventh-‐-‐Hawkins-‐-‐at home. Lets review the Squeaky Clean rules, shall we? Only girls inherit. There is only marital WooHoo, and only Try For Baby. Non-‐heirs dont have it quite so tough, but they cannot fool around on the Legacy lot (or wed have no pla>num Romance graves, would we?) And everything has to be cute. Painfully cute. (Check out the Legacy lot, which looks like Pepto-‐Bismol got spilled somewhere.)
Heres Mor>mer and Abner, the oldest two Goodytwoshoes kids, working out in the gym where their parents met. Mor>mers even wearing the same sweats as his Dad. Hey, whats good enough for Mom and Dad is good enough for them.
Omigawwwd. Poor Sam. You grew up well, but into hideous clothes. And youre the one with nice points, too! Weve got to get you some more decent clothing.
And Abijahs not much beWer. Well deﬁnitely have to do something about that.
Sam: Thank you. Me: Its nothing. I promised your Mom that we would get you married, you know.
While he was out, Sam bought a matching ou[it in a diﬀerent color for Abijah. Hopefully their Doublemint cuteness will bowl over the chicks on campus, cause I am ge]ng them through college, marrying them oﬀ to sa>sfy their annoying moms LTW, and then never playing them again. Shane just wants three kids to graduate, but nooo, Rosie has to have six married kids.
Sam: Yessir, were as cute as an ice-‐cream sundae, ladies. Any takers?
Daisie Mae: And everyone in my family gets poWy-‐trained! Oh, uh, wow. Really?
Heres Hopeful. Hopeful: Im a Pleasure Sim. How come you sent me to college? Sim Goddess: Because I have to get you married. And besides, what, you wanted to stay home and be cannon fodder?
Hopeful spontaneously gets everyone doing the Smustle un>l they s>nk.
Uh-‐oh. This could be trouble. Abner and his brother Mor>mer both think the same girl is hot. And Abners trying to date the other girl, too!
Vanessa Pedersen le+ her ﬁrst date with Abner claiming that he failed to meet her needs. But I dont see how he could have met this need. There are some things that you have to do alone.
Mor>mers Mom called him right in the middle of his ﬁrst date. I kid you not. Hey, Rosie, Im trying to get your kid married oﬀ-‐-‐dont be so overprotec>ve.
Theres nothing like shared disgust to bring people closer together.
Shane, their Dad, keeps showing up spontaneously. Either he really misses them, or hes making a break from the house. Not surprising, considering that hes been up to his knees in diapers and po]es and liWerboxes for years, poor man. I was afraid when Rosie began da>ng him that he might be a problem, but hes been extra-‐nice and helpful all these years. I really regret that hes eventually going to have to die. There he is, checking up on Mor>mers new girlfriend. Is doing a good school cheer a marital qualiﬁca>on?
Awww! Blue rings! Theyre both happy! And Mort didnt even have to leave the dorm to ﬁnd his future wife, Edith Gast. (Hes quite shy.) Theyre both knowledge sims, so they ought to get along well, even when Mor>mer. . . but excuse me, Im ge]ng ahead of myself.
I think the parental supervision here verges on the creepy. If it isnt Rosie calling during Mor>mers ﬁrst date, its Shane showing up and checking out Morts young lady at the dorm, or "just happening" to be in the nightclub the evening Abner gets serious. Youll no>ce that Abner was not fooling around. Those liWle sparkly ﬂowers are love po>on.
And the matchmaker sells the real deal-‐-‐she falls in love! Actually, love po>on doesnt work very well if the couple dont already know each other and arent already aWracted. Ive had Sims swig it like milk to no avail.
Even as he falls in love, Abner pauses to make fun of Mr. Big. What a mean guy! One nice point!
But he was falling in love. He and Vanessa are both Fortune Sims, so they will get along preWy well, too. His LTW is to have six pets reach the top of their careers-‐-‐-‐dont know if his parents cats count.
Remington Harris falls for our heiress like a ton of bricks. . .
. . . but tries to play it cool. Lets face it, he was an easy target-‐-‐hes her best friend and hes known her since she was in diapers.
Now this is creepy. Now I know Shane is stalking his kids. Can you make him out, hiding behind the maitre d? Shane and Rosie are the most overprotec>ve parents Ive ever seen. Remington has the sense to keep his smooch thoughts to himself while Daisie Mae sneaks out, unno>ced.
Hopeful works on her charisma. . .very much needed if shes going to go on ﬁ+y ﬁrst dates, because shes a mean liWle cuss.
Hopeful hits the nightlife for the ﬁrst >me at the Crypt ONight Club. . .
. . . and whos there having cocktails? Right. Its Mom. Rosie, who hasnt le+ the house in the Sim equivalent of about twenty years and whos only been Downtown three >mes. This is not fooling anyone, guys.
Mor>mer: You do realize, of course, that Edith here is engaged to me? For some reason, at least three of the Goodytwoshoes boys think Edith is really hot. In the case of Abijah, it seems to be mutual. Ive actually changed his turn oﬀs to include blonde hair, but its not much use. . . I suspect they are aWracted to girls like-‐-‐shudder-‐-‐Mom. Ik.
Its a recurring theme, isnt it? Hey, Dad, I just got here! Go home!
Maybe Hopeful does need a liWle supervision. Didnt anybody tell her its dangerous to make friends with vampires?
Hey, whats this guy doing in the girls shower! Get out of there!
Oh. You just joined the secret society, Daisie Mae. Daisie Mae: Can I ﬁnish my shower now?
Oh my goodness, Hopeful! Your mother would kill you if she saw your new clothes! Hopeful: Hey, thanks! It wasnt a compliment! Hopeful celebrated ﬁnishing sophomore year by going on her ﬁrst date. She was ﬁxed up with Mr. Big, whom she cant marry if I plan to move her back home. But she doesnt care, since all she wants is ﬁ+y ﬁrst dates. Next!
Hopeful really gets life started as a Pleasure Sim. Two ﬁrst dates down; only forty-‐eight more to go.
Mor>mer maxes out his logic points. Geekdom on parade.
Sam gets engaged to, um, I forget her name. Julie, thats right. A family sim, so shes not likely to bail at the last minute.
Abijah: Soooo, Karen, howd you like to live life in the Sim Bin?
Abijah: Yeah! It was a surprise engagement to me, too!
Im sorry to say that she said no, however, and Sam collapsed bleeding into his chili con carne. Well, not exactly, but he was disappointed. . . and all out of love po>on.
And perhaps this is why. . . yet another Townie with a weird crush on the elderly cafeteria worker.
She changed her mind and went happily oﬀ sprou>ng blue rings while Abijah simultaneously fell in love and went oﬀ to bus tables. Hes one of the hyper-‐>dy ones in the family-‐-‐ten neat points.
Meanwhile, Hopeful and Daisie Mae each moved out. Hopeful moved into a dorm next to Tri-‐Var, got a salon chair, and began giving free makeovers. Hopeful: Aw, cmon, Robin, what can it hurt? I cant make you look any worse!
Luckily we have a special free rate for free makeovers gone disastrously wrong.
Its all about product. Lots and lots of product!
See? I made you look like my mom! Doesnt everybody want to look like my mom?
Im already bored with the ﬁrst makeover I gave you, Amar. Let me make you over again.
Well, of course Im interested in fashion! Duh!
Daisie Mae moved into her moms old dorm, and Rosies pal Dominic the Llama Guy danced on air with sheer delight. Why wouldnt he be delighted? He cant move in with one of my heiresses, but like Peter Pan, hell never grow old. Meanwhile, Daisie Mae found 1) a fruit punch keg 2) an energizer with one bulb le+ 3) several disgus>ng dirty dishes, le+ over from when Mom lived there.
Uh, Daisie Mae? Not only does your own ﬁance have to work as your maid, you also have to make him clean up from your moms gradua>on party? "What? I pay him!" Yes, but you dont >p him.
Hi, there, Mor>mer! Tell your sister Im going to kill her for what she did to me, OK?
Wow! Are you the girl giving all those free makeovers? Can I have like, you know, a hat?
Hopeful: You sure came to the right place! Although Im not sure what were going to do about that nose . . .
I think this should draw aWen>on away from it nicely.
Mor>mer: No, lady, I just want to write my term paper. I dont want to do the chicken dance. . .
. . .and I certainly dont want to do anything involving handcuﬀs.
"Edith? Ediths a member of some Society with that thing in back of me? And weve been engaged for two years and I didnt know?" Actually, Mor>mer got quietly into his blazer and went over to kiss Edith. No ques>ons asked. Hes so sweet.
This guy in the mohawk Hopeful is with looks iden>cal to, but isnt the same guy as the other guy in the mohawk. Three dates down, forty-‐seven to go.
OK, Daisie Mae, its >me you started dressing like the Goodytwoshoes heiress. And you know what that means. . . "No! Not the crinoline skirt!" Yes. Your mom had to wear the black and white one and cats eye glasses: count your blessings. (You can ﬁnd it, along with a lot of other nice retro clothes, on allaboutstyle.com. The black and whites are on modthesims under Retroville.)
The life of an heiress. Its all about skilling.
And maxing your skills, in this case your logic skill. If you dont become a Mad Scien>st fast, it wont be my fault.
Poor Remington. Not only do you work as your ﬁances maid, not only doesnt she >p you, plus which there is no WooHoo because shes the Squeaky Clean heiress; you get trapped in the girls bathroom, have to be pulled out, and then walk through a plate-‐glass window. I do hope youre not ge]ng glitched.
With the ample funds from almost three years of 4.0s, Daisie Mae acquires a ﬂoral sta>on. "Youve been reading up about snapdragons, havent you?" "Start working."
And Daisie Mae gets her bronze talent badge in prac>cally no >me. "These heels are killing me." Keep working.
Abner went to the pet park in the middle of the night, in hopes of mee>ng a nice, cuddly wolf. Instead. . .theres Mom hanging around the restrooms at 4 am and thinking improper thoughts about Stephen Stotch-‐-‐
Who meanwhile decided to "admire" Abner. "No way, buddy. No way, no how." You could have been politer about it.
Being a member of the Landgrabb Society isnt all that great. They dont clean up a+er themselves and plug up the toilet. Mor>mer ﬁxed it in no >me, but I think he was annoyed.
Abijah killing >me before an exam. Hes got nothing to worry about-‐-‐and in fact, he pulled another A+. Abijah changed aspira>on a+er sophomore year and came out as a Fortune Sim like Abner. It suits him, actually. Mean liWle cuss. Most of my "nice" Goodytwoshoes are Cancers and most of my "nasty" ones are Scorpios, but at least the Scorpios are hard working, >dy, and they juggle.
Heres a biWer pill: on a date with Edith, Mor>mer kept rolling the want to WooHoo with Edith, ﬁrst WooHoo with Edith. . .he must have read the ﬁne print of my Squeaky Clean Legacy and discovered that non-‐heirs are ok to do WooHoo on community lots or on lots belonging to other Sims, because one of his fears was that Edith wouldnt agree to WooHoo in the photo booth. Then he asked her what she wanted and she said "WooHoo with Mor>mer." I decided to let him wait >ll he was married and hes very cross now. And it didnt come out as a dream date either, poor thing.
Theres nothing unusual in a cow mascot shocking an elderly caferia worker. The real shock is that it took him almost three years to get here and start causing trouble.
Hopeful says the whole point of being a sorority member is so you can invite them over and do makeovers.
Heres Hopeful oﬀ for another ou>ng with Mr. Big. I dont know if the expression on her face is because she knows it will be a dull event with the usual suspects, or because she hates the new retro top I made her buy.
Oh, dear. Hopeful really doesnt know its dangerous to get friendly with vampires.
I know this looks as though Count Jihoon is carrying her oﬀ, but its really all Hopefuls idea.
Count Jihoons a bit of an innocent, really. Here Hopeful dosed herself up with love po>on before proposing, and shes just asked what he wants. And what he wants is to have a party, although hes clearly thinking about kissing her-‐-‐or something.
Bingo! Engaged! And Hopeful immediately calls the taxi, driving away seconds before Count Jihoon remembers to try to bite her. Im sure Rosie, Hopefuls mother, would think of bi>ng as something you wait for un>l youre married. And its tricky to get through University as a vampire. So shell be doing her partying during the day>me and calling Count Jihoon at night to chat-‐-‐and keeping her door locked.
Mor>mer gets a bronze talent badge. He and Sam are total math and science nerds, so this made him very happy.
Geeky Knowledge Sims skilling like mad: Mor>mer making robots, Sam behind him fooling around with the telescope, and Edith playing with the toy robot Mor>mer made and Sam repaired.
Mor>mer follows family tradi>on and his own habit of growing up when freshly oﬀ the toilet.
Mor>mer, the eldest born and ﬁrst to graduate, kisses his mom.
Hawkins, the youngest brother, arrives and takes up his posi>on as placeholder in. . . riding boots and breeches? What on earth has he got in mind?
Evidently, he thinks hes something else-‐-‐and he seems to be another one of the familys spontaneous jugglers. This usually goes along with meanness and Hawkins is no excep>on.
Daisie Mae dreams of the Energizer, o+en with a red X through it. Im sure shes >red of skilling and energizing, skilling and energizing, but hopefully it will pay oﬀ.
And she earns a >dy sum with her ﬂoral cra+ing sta>on, though the backwards simolean glyph looks ominous-‐-‐like nega>ve money.
Hopefuls working hard with her talent, too. "Hey, I look like the Fonz!"
At last. Daisie Mae graduates wih honors and as a Knowledge Sim, gets a whopping aspira>on boost.
I just graduated summa cum laude in biology, Remington. I know what Im doing.
Daisie Mae has a nice pillow ﬁght with her father. You can see the happy expression, especially in her eyes. Hope she enjoys it, because once shes back in the Legacy House, its more working and skilling, all the >me.
This pose looks a lot cleaner-‐-‐or Squeaky Cleaner-‐-‐when Daisie Mae does it,but its s>ll the kind of thing that aWracts stares.
Hopeful con>nues to work on her silver hairdressing badge, this >me on Castor Nova-‐-‐
Hopeful did a much nicer job on Daisie Mae. Daisie Mae wont wear makeup, but a new, so+er haircut seemed to go with her new clothing. Hopeful will be taking the salon chair back with her.
And Hopeful couldnt be bothered to have a gradua>on party-‐-‐shes exploding the dust oﬀ her feet and ge]n outa there. That pink gooey liWle house back in Pleasantview wont know what hit it! Stay tuned as the Squeaky Clean Legacy takes a drama>c turn! Frighteningly adorable cat on the cover by Pusheen.