An assortment of inappropriate attitudes of mind and their ensuing behaviour are of primary importance to the outcome of negotiations which illustrate the other integral keys to success and failure in negotiation

1. Which are the key success attitudes and
behaviours that lead to your unlocking a
winning streak in your business negotiations?
by Jonathan Sims
Negotiation Attitudes &
Behaviours – from Failure to
Success

2. Introduction
 Further to Psychology of Negotiation we must concentrate on
Negotiating behaviour which is primarily determined by mental
attitudes and its process.
 Mental attitudes are mostly established by our negotiation objectives.
 For Collaboration or integration (you win and I win) our mental attitude
is not significantly exercised.
 We need to study process and read a book or attend one day seminar
 We would feel good that we have maintained the relationship with the
other side and feel warm in the knowledge that we have negotiated “in
a principled and ethical manner.”
 For Competition or domination of the other side (I win, you lose).
 Immediately challenges the social and mental outlooks
 One might well visualise
 Raw greed,
 Bad feeling,
 Harsh words,
 Exploitation and

3. Introduction
 For Competition or domination ……..Wrecked relationships.
 It does have a validity as far as commercial negotiation is concerned
(Commercial because political, personal and union negotiations have
different constraints and priorities):
 The aspiration of Capitalism is to maximise profit
o Can be Child like happiness in negotiation or
o Be realistic like an adult at negotiating table
 An assortment of inappropriate attitudes of mind and their ensuing
behaviour are of primary importance to the outcome of negotiations
which illustrate the other integral keys to success and failure in
negotiation

4. A list of inappropriate attitudes of mind which may be key
to success or failure in negotiation
 1.SELF-LIMITING EXPECTATIONS
 We plan for failure even before we sit down at the table. We can be slaves
to expectations.
 Attitudes
 “This always finishes up at the market price.”.
 “We’ve got a lousy case.”
 “I know what he’s going to say, so there’s actually no point in asking.”
 “This is going to be expensive.”
 “He’s got the better position.”
 “He might possibly go to any of our competitors.”
 “We don’t have anything particular to offer.”
 “The Germans/Japanese/Arabs always appear to be better negotiators
than us.”
 Behaviours
 Very Timid demands.
 Ready to give concessions.

5. A list of inappropriate attitudes of mind which may be key
to success or failure in negotiation
 2.COMFORT SEEKING
 Our avoidance of stress permits us to settle in the comfortable middle
range or accept their first offer.
 Attitudes
 “If I make demands which are overly high, it’ll ruin the relationship.”
 “I’ll seem too greedy if I ask too much.”
 “I feel sick when I push for that bit more.”
 “Yes, I’ll happily split the difference.”
 “That’s probably fair for the two of us”
 Behaviours
 Not confronting demands.
 Too simplistic concessions
 The final minute concessions.
 Getting things over and finished with as fast as possible.

6. A list of inappropriate attitudes of mind which may be key
to success or failure in negotiation
 3.INERTIA
 The elder brother of the comfort-seeker.
 Attitudes
 “There’s always another sweeter deal, another day.”
 “There’s no point in lathering up a sweat.”
 Behaviours
 Just simple laziness.
 Specific lack of preparation.
 Easily surrender concessions.

7. A list of inappropriate attitudes of mind which may be key
to success or failure in negotiation
 4.ATTITUDES TO MONEY
 Too many people look at company money as a completely
different animal from personal money. Symptoms are
addiction to the expense account and company-paid comforts.
 Attitudes
 “Heck, it’s not all that much money, considering how much my company
turns over.”
 “Well, it’s not my money.”
 “What’s one percent so long as I win the deal?”
 “Bargaining is too infra-dig.”
 Behaviours
 Very charitable concessions.
 Shows off company-compensated status symbols.
 Off-hand attitude of referring to money: thousands as “g” or “k”, or
even millions as “mil”.
 Ignores the final 1% opportunity.

8. A list of inappropriate attitudes of mind which may be key
to success or failure in negotiation
 5.LACK OF SELF-CONTROL
 The basic skill of successful negotiators is simply to be in
control of themselves.
 Attitudes
 “What’s in several or more words?”
 “How can it harm if I reveal our urgency?”
 “What can it matter if I’m only several minutes late?”
 Behaviours
 Doing uncontrolled talking (particularly under stress).
 Making indiscreet comments.
 Unbridled non-verbal communication.
 Unplanned lateness.

9. A list of inappropriate attitudes of mind which may be key
to success or failure in negotiation
 6.DRIVES
 I am perpetually surprised at how frequently people regard to be seen as
“driven” is a positive attribute. As I see it, one is either driving or is driven.
Driven people can accomplish great feats but are seldom able to choose to
ignore the drive.
 Attitudes
 “I’m going to get this sale if it’s the last thing I do.”
 “This will make me best negotiation salesman.”
 “I have got to make him appreciate my position.”
 “I have never lost a client yet.”
 Behaviours
 Lack of self control.
 Need to dominate.
 Inability to stay quiet.
 A compulsion to explain.
 Competitiveness (competitive people are relatively simple to

10. A list of inappropriate attitudes of mind which may be key
to success or failure in negotiation
 7.SELF-ABSORPTION
 95% of people spend 95% of their lives alone in their own
heads. Negotiation is getting inside the other person’s head.
 Attitudes
 “I really must get this deal.”
 “I must make him understand my position.”
 “It’s my negotiation agenda that’s relevant”
 “How can I possibly comprehend what he thinks?”
 Behaviours
 Lack of any regard of the counterpart’s needs, priorities, urgencies,
and weaknesses.
 Not posing questions.
 Starting the bidding with our lowest position in mind, not theirs.
 Not showing sensitivity.
 Guessing that the other side views the negotiation just as we do.

11. A list of inappropriate attitudes of mind which may be key
to success or failure in negotiation
 8.EGO
 So much in negotiation is about feeding ego rather than
obtaining the best possible deal, which usually necessitates
leaving ego at the door. The other person’s ego can be our
biggest opportunity or our greatest threat.
 Attitudes
 “These guys have to see who’s in charge.”
 “I’d rather lose this deal than be viewed as weak.”
 “This’ll get me some notice in the board room.”
 Behaviours
 Controlling the first word.
 Must have the last word.
 Mistake speaking for dominating.
 Biased.

12. A list of inappropriate attitudes of mind which may be key to
success or failure in negotiation
 8.EGO
 Behaviours……Belligerent.
 Lacks ability to listen.
 Fails to be sensitive.
 Seeking to humiliate the other side.
 Prone to flattery.
 Fixated on winning the symbols of victory.
 Gives away money as a symbol of importance.
 Unable to be in a subordinate role in team negotiations.

13. A list of inappropriate attitudes of mind which may be key to
success or failure in negotiation
 9.SUBMISSIVENESS
 We lionise the small number of successful, risking-taking
masters of the business universe. We forget that 90% of those
in business are people who can manage while keeping their
heads down to protect their jobs, pay the home loan, and
secure their pensions.
 Attitudes
 “It’s best not rock the boat.”
 “Too many demands will cause them to be angry.”
 “There are rules which preside over just how much we can
ask.”
 “They possess the upper hand.”
 “I make sure that I can justify my demands.”
 “Let’s not jeopardise the relationship.”
 “My boss will kill me if I foul up this deal.”

14. A list of inappropriate attitudes of mind which may be key to
success or failure in negotiation
 9.SUBMISSIVENESS….“My boss will kill me if I foul up this
deal.”
 Behaviours
 Are inhibited by fears.
 Lack of ability to face their fears.
 Inability to defend against social conditioning.
 Submissive to (often bogus) authority.
 Require Self-justification.
 Lack ambitious demands.
 Tend to be Defensive.
 Need to be liked.
 Tend to be timid.
 Can be afraid.
 Moves with the flow.
 Presents concessions in return for nothing.
 No ability to lead in team negotiations.

15. Conclusion
 In conclusion, there are quite a few mental attitudes we take
with us into negotiation which mitigate against our needs.
 They are born of
 Fears,
 Inhibitions,
 Social conditioning,
 Coping mechanisms,
 Ego and drives.
 Identifying them is essential to controlling them.
 Only when this is done can we effectively acquire the
process skills that help us achieve negotiating excellence.