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Negotiating Skills
The document outlines key negotiation strategies, emphasizing the importance of emotional understanding and the shift from fixed to variable sum bargaining. It highlights techniques such as active listening, empathy, and creating rapport to encourage better negotiation outcomes. The document stresses the need to recognize and leverage the other party's pressures to enhance one's negotiating power.
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Negotiating Skills
- 1. . How To NegotiateBetter Than the Other Person
- 2. In this world,we do not get what we deserve. We get what we negotiate. Economists were often frustrated because the masses did not act as their rigorous models predicted they would. In the same way behavioral economics reshaped their own discipline, learn the most effective ways to negotiate toward the outcomes you desire against one of the most emotional mammals in the world – the human beings Why should you get none of what you want when you can get most of what you want? There is no skill more fundamental to success than the ability to negotiate. Whether you are negotiating with venture capitalists or for a promotion, negotiation skills are vital to get more of what you want by giving up less than what you want. Emotionally connect with opponents for better outcomes for all parties. Understand the limits of BATNA as a negotiating technique Transform negotiations from fixed to variable sum gains.
- 4. Zero Sum Negotiations This isa mathematical representation of bargaining when one side’s gain is exactly balanced by the loss of utility by the other side.
- 5. Zero-sum bargainingis a competitive situation. Non-zero-sum bargaining can be competitive or non-competitive depending on approach. Non zero-sum bargaining parties' aggregate gains & losses can more than zero.
- 6. Hard Emotion Soft Emotion To get fromfixed to variable sum bargaining discover the soft emotion hidden behind the displayed emotion.
- 7. Subtractive Empathy |Soft Emotions Do not say, You don’t need to feel that way. Understand hard emotions protecting the soft emotions. Anger is the hard emotion perhaps. Fear is the soft emotion hidden beneath it. Distraction is the hard emotion. Lack of Priority to Negotiate is the hard emotion.
- 8. Difference between theconscientious & unconscious mind. A more advanced approach means taking the role of psychologist before the role of negotiator to determine what the person really wants – not what they “think” they want.
- 9. Decisions and notconditions determine our destiny. What do you need? Why? Why? Why? Why?Variable Sum Negotiating Real underlying need Zero Sum
- 10. Why should younot get anything you want when you can get some or most of what you want.
- 11. The Person Willingto Blow the Deal …. Wins the deal … or walks away because they had a better alternative to whatever they might have negotiated.
- 12. Focus on theother side’s pressure – not your own! Tendency to focus on our own pressure & why we need to make a deal. When focused on your own limitations, you miss opportunities for leverage. Instead, ask what pressures does the other side have? Recognize reasons for other side to give in. Negotiation power derives from other side’s pressures & your ability to walk away (blow the deaf!)
- 13. Show the otherperson how their needs will be met o Negotiators look at situation from other side's perspective. o What is their perception of the deal? o Instead of trying to win the negotiation find variable non-zero sum solution. o If you help other side feel satisfied, they are more inclined to satisfy your needs. Position what they say they want Their interests is what they need to achieve Move toward here Don’t confuse the two.
- 14. Don’t Take ItPersonally It clouds clarify of thought. Regardless of how much you won – best to make the other side feel as if they got the better of you. Play to win – don’t act as if you did especially if there will be future negotiations.
- 16. Behavioral Change Stairway Model Focuseson getting someone else to (1) see your point of view as a leading indictor to (2) change what they're doing. Change Viewpoint Technique focuses on influencing behavior of the other party.
- 17. The more poweryou overtly yield the more the weaker party resists.
- 18. Active Listening Rapport Influence Change in Behavior Empathy Actuallylisten & make them aware you are listening Ability to understand & share their feelings because you were listening . Empathy is what you feel – not an intellectual understanding. When they feel it back that you do understand & empathize with them. They start to trust you. After trust, you've earned right to work on problem & recommend solutions. They’ve changed their behavior due to your influence upon them. From the bottom up ….
- 19. Most people donot listen. They wait for their turn to talk. While you are talking to them, they are using their bandwidth to decide what to say next. Active listening is a way of listening & responding to another person that improves mutual understanding. Tool Paraphrasing back the person speaking.
- 20. What We AreProbably Doing Wrong. Most people skip first 3 steps (# 1 active listening, # 2 empathy & # 3 rapport) They start at # 4 influence They expect other person to move straight to # 5 behavior change. This often fails I'm right & you're wrong as a negotiating strategy might be effective if people were rational. But behavior economics disputes that.
- 21. Best Alternative Toa Negotiated Agreement is perfect for two algorithms negotiating against each other. But what about when humans negotiate? Attractive alternative to negotiations more you can hold out for a better outcome. Why? Walking out becomes more attractive that accepting current offer. BATNA is option left if agreement is not achieved. What is BATNA?
- 22. Makes Sense …But Here’s The problem with BATNA o We are not algorithms. Pretending emotions don’t exist is problematic. o BATNA posits people are unemotional & rational, o Instead of pretending emotions don't exist, take them into account & leverages them as tool of influence o First critical step is Active Listening. o Most of us are terrible at listening. Let’s talk about why most of us are terrible at listening.
- 23. Assumption: first instinctmay be to talk & even interrupt . Data = currency of knowledge economy. The more you listen more currency you obtain to cash in as tool of influence. Is your best tool. If wanting to negotiate used car is it better to obtain dealer’s asking price first “or” for you to state yours first? What if your opening price is higher than the dealer's opening price? Object lesson do more listening than talking, especially in the beginning.
- 24. While makingyour argument other side silently thinking about their own argument instead of listening to yours. When they're making their argument you're thinking about yours! 1st objective is NOT to make your argument but to listen to the other side. People don't walk into a negotiation wanting to hear the other side but to make an argument. Why people are often bad at listening.
- 25. Listening & respondingto another person that improves mutual understanding. Often people talk to each other without listening attentive - often distracted while only partially engaged. Listen! Don't interrupt, disagree, or evaluate. Nod your head & make brief acknowledging comments like yes / uh-huh. Paraphrase what they just said from their point of view. Inquire. Ask questions demonstrating you've paid attention that move the discussion forward.
- 26. 6 Techniques ToHelp You Negotiate Use what makes sense to you. Ignore what does not
- 27. # 1 Don’tuse yes / no questions Use open ended questions so others person opens up. Sounds like a tough deal. Tell me how it happened. non judgmental shows interest Likely to lead to more information about the other side’s situation. At this stage, ask more about the person than positions.
- 28. # 2 EffectivePauses are Powerful. Encourages other person to keep talking diffuses emotional situation. Difficult to sustain a one-sided argument even if person is venting. Conversation will return to meaningful dialogue. Should do least amount of talking & most amount of listening.
- 29. # 3 MakeMinimal Encouragers Brief statements to let person know you are listening - keeps them talking. Phrases as yes, okay or I see convey the negotiator is paying attention. These responses encourage the other person to continue talking & gradually relinquish control to the negotiator.
- 30. #4 Mirroring, #5 Paraphrasing& #6 Emotional Labeling (4) Mirroring repeat last word or phrase said to demonstrate engagement. (5) Paraphrasing shows you understand & aren't merely parroting. You're trying to help them hear what they're saying to find out if what they are saying makes sense to them. (6) Emotional labeling Give their feelings a name by identifying how they feel. But do not comment on validity of feelings.
- 31. non sequitur Tothe optimist, pessimist & the realist – while you discussed the if the glass of water was half full “or” half empty, I drank the entire class. I am the opportunist. Use ethical negotiating techniques to make the most of your opportunities. In this world, we don’t get what we daserve, we get what we negotiate.
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- 34. MS Word Primer- Useful Information for Documenting Making Good Presentations Using Microsoft Power Point http://www.netcomlearning.com/?advid=1 315
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