2. Do all of us sitting in this room want to be
successful? Why?
What according to you is success?
How will you achieve success in both personal
H ill hi i b h l
and professional life?
Lets take a look at how we can be more
successful.What is in it for you.
3. Lets begin by doing a small exercise:
◦ First identify three people who you think were/ are
successful
◦ Next identify at least five qualities that you think
made them successful.
◦ Next, identify which of these qualities you have and
which you would like to cultivate
cultivate.
4. Does your list have words like:
Honest Humor Knowledge
Dependable
Enthusiastic PMA Hardworking Decisive
Confident Patient Self respect Good Listener
Discipline Persistent Loving Communicator
Loyal Faith Friendly Learner
Goals Common sense Motivated Empathetic
Compassionate Character Humble
Integrity Dedicated Organized
5. That 29 out of these words on the previous
slide deal with attitudes (yours)
All of them can be taught and learned
The qualities of success are basically skills
f
Most important of all – You already have
every quality – it only needs t b
lit l d to be
developed further
6.
7. You can change what you are and where you
are by changing what goes into your mind.
When you choose the input, you choose the
results in your life
life.
When you change the input, you change the
output (result)
8.
9.
10.
11.
12. 1. Turn scars into stars:
◦ Examples: Helen Keeler, Mother Teresa, Milton,
Beethoven, FDR,Gandhi, Lincoln, etc.
2.
2 Learn intelligent ignorance:
◦ The example of the “Bhavnra” or Bumble bee.
When you don’t know your limitations you
don t limitations,
go out & surprise yourself. The only
limitations you have, are self imposed.
13. 3. Do something for others -you’ll be
surprised as to how it lifts your self esteem.
i d t h lift lf t
4. Learn to give and receive compliments
honestly and gracefully
5. Accept responsibility gladly and follow
through on that responsibility.
6. Practice di i li
6 P i discipline- walk your talk.
lk lk
14. 7. Set goals -AND write them down. See
that they meet the SMART criterion.
8. List all your strengths & weaknesses and
work on di i i hi
k diminishing your weaknesses and
k d
consolidating on your strengths.
9.Have patience,
9 Have patience courage and conviction
conviction.
10. Give yourself positive auto suggestions
15. 11. Become internally driven, not externally
driven:
◦ Happiness is a result of positive self esteem
◦ Happiness comes from being and not just having.
having
◦ Happiness is internal.
16. Effective communication hinges on people
understanding your meaning and replying in terms that
move the exchange/transaction forward - preferably in
the direction you want.
Effective communication is based on an
understanding of the needs, wants, attitudes, values
and belief systems of the two communicators.
17. Get a response; Action
Encourage pre determined action;
persuade
Inform, Influence, Inspire
o , ue ce, sp e
Induce behavioural change, convince
To solve problems
problems.
Share your view of the world
18. Good communications is the lifeblood of
Organizations
Good communicators make better
executives/ managers
Good communicators recognize barriers and
work to overcome them
G d communicators b ild rapport and gain
Good i t build t d i
acceptance
Good comm nicators establish tr st
communicators trust.
20. COMMUNICATION MODEL
Inform
Message Objective Influence
Inspire
I i
Oral/Written
O l/W i
Medium
Clarity/Confidence
y
Sender Receiver Feedback
Attitudes/Values/Beliefs
21. The CAGE Model:
◦ C – Stands for Culture (not in the cross
cultural context, but in the work culture
context.))
◦ A – Stands for Audience (We need to know
our audience)
◦ G – Stands for Goal/ objective/result that we
want
◦ E – Stands for Etiquette in communications
We need to internalize this model of the
communication process
22. The MAK Model
◦ M – Stands for the medium (knowing
which medium of communication to use
when)
◦ A – Stands again for Audience – knowing
your audience, its needs, etc.
◦ K – Stands for Knowledge – the equivalent
of a SME (know your subject)
23. S – Smile
O – Open
F – Friendly
T – Touch (Emotionally)
E – Eye Contact
N – Nodding
Also S - OFTEN is “Smile Often”
24. T – Think before you speak
A – Appreciate the other person’s point of view
C – Converse calmly, do not compete
T – Time your comment for maximum impact
F – Focus on behaviour you want (or want
changed)
U – Uncover hidden feelings/emotions/thoughts
g g
L – Listen for feedback (both verbal and non
verbal clues)
25. Be direct, courteous and Don’t be rude and pushy
calm Don’t be superior,
Spare others your patronizing or sarcastic
sarcastic.
unsolicited advice Don’t make personal
Acknowledge what works attacks or insinuations
for you may not work for Don’t
D ’t expect others to
t th t
others follow your advice or agree
Say main points first then with you
offer more d t il
ff details Don’t suggest changes that
Listen for hidden feelings, a person cannot easily
emotions, etc. make
26. 1. Personalize – Address p p by name and
people y
not generally. People like to be identified
2. Respect – Never insult or embarrass people by
saying anything that could be misinterpreted.
3. Dignity – Always be professional. Imbibe
patience and self control. P
ti d lf t l People come i all
l in ll
shapes and sizes.
4 Use the restating or mirroring technique to
4.
ensure confirmation of the right message.
27. 5.Emotions – Acknowledge that people are both
emotional as well as intellectual. Emotions p y a
play
big part in effective communications.
6.Responsibility – Use I instead of you to accept
responsibility gladly and th f ll
ibilit l dl d then follow th
through on
h
that responsibility.
7.Absolutes
7 Absolutes – Avoid using absolutes in
conversation – they are very difficult to digest.
Keep use of words like never or always to a
i i
minimum.
8.Clarity – Remember you are speaking for
understanding by the other person Keep jargon to
person.
the minimum.
28. 9.Grace – Never corner another person or use “verbal
force” to get them to accept your views. Instead leave
them a positive way to accept what you’ve said or to
’
disagree.
10.
10 Always use positive vocal pitch with enthusiasm
and expression in your voice.
29. Saying directly what you want, need or
feel but NOT at the expense of others
others.
Behaving in a rational adult way
Able to negotiate and reach workable
compromises
Insisting on being heard, even if you
have to keep repeating
Knowing you deserve respect & acting
gy p g
so.
Showing you have purpose & being
totally honest
30. THINK
What disturbs you about other people is
what disturbs you about y
y yourself.
If you always feel angry, or others
appear inept, you are worried or
frightened.
If you are always fearful & unwilling to
lf b
assert yourself, you are angry about
something and suppressing it?
You can choose to be a victim or victor
Y h t b i ti i t
31. Always too b
Al t busy Works hard yet has
hard,
Goes round the more time
p
problem Goes straight to the
Promises too readily problem
Give in on important Knows when to fight
issues
i & when to give in
Can be a petty tyrant Feels strong enough
to be friendly
Focuses on others
weaknesses Listens
Respects others
strengths
32. Resists feedback Welcomes feedback
Makes excuses Explains
Says “That’s not my Feels responsible for
Job
Job” more than his work
Afraid of making Willing to make
mistakes mistakes (experiment)
Focuses on Focuses on
problems & possibilities &
solutions.
insoluble issues
34. In the triangle of the previous slide, the base
of the triangle is a continuum that is
continuum,
behaviour moves from passive to assertive to
aggressive.
Vertically also the lines represent a
continuum in which Manipulative behaviour
is at the apex of the triangle!!
35. FLIGHT (LOSE -WIN) – Passiveness or non
aggression. A person who fails to stand up
gg p p
for his/her rights and can thus easily be
discarded.
FIGHT( WIN- LOSE) - Aggression. A
person who stands f his/her own rights
h d for hi /h i h
but in an inappropriate way, that is by
ignoring the needs/opinions or feelings of
others and only focusing on self needs.
36. We have a third option:
ASSERTIVENESS (WIN- WIN) – essentially a
considered (deliberate) response to any
difficult situation. A person who has the
situation
ability to say directly what he/she wants but
not at the expense of others.
p
37. 1. SAY NO WHEN YOU HAVE TO:
Think of the harmful consequences of saying
yes
If you think you are being taken for a ride,
put your foot down
Dilute the impact of a “NO”
Dil h i f
Give reasons for your decision
38. Delay, if necessary, to think things over.
Keep calm at all times
Practice saying no to your self on your own.
39. 2. BE PERSISTENT
Repeat over and over again, in a firm but
relaxed way what you want
Often called the “broken record” technique
f ll d h “b k d” h
40. 3. NEVER LET ANYBODY TAKE AWAY YOUR
RIGHTS
Always ask for what you want
Realize the other person has a right to refuse
l h h h h f
or say no
Speak up for the truth
Do what you think is right
41. 4. DEAL WITH PUT DOWNS
A put down is one which violates one or
more of your rights.
The first thing to do is never to react
h f h d
aggressively. This blows the situation out of
all proportion
proportion.
However act quickly and decisively.
42. Deny what is being said.
Say what you feel.
Make it clear that you dislike the person’s
behaviour.
b h
43. 5.HANDLE CRITICISM WELL
Stand up for yourself.Be firm but fair.
Get all relevant information.
Be slow to anger.
Don’t be timid,passive, apologetic or
indecisive.
Forgive & Forget. Relax.
44. Wait and listen.
Accept criticism if it is valid.
Actively seek constructive criticism.
Don’t take unfair criticism to heart.
Use body language to your advantage.
Always take three d
l k h deep b breaths b f
h before
responding to criticism.
45. 6. KNOW HOW TO MAKE CONFIDENT
6
CONVERSATION.
7. THINK OF YOURSELF FOR THE SAKE OF
OTHERS
46. 8. BE SEEN & NOT “OBSCENE”
Assertiveness is all about having presence
and influence.
It is not concerned with aggressiveness
which is counterproductive.
Sometimes, being morally indignant is a
, g y g
motivator for being assertive.
Don’t be unnecessarily argumentative,
critical and impatient
impatient.
47. 9. BE CLEVER
Take control of the conversation & get in
first.
Try to k
keep one step ahead of people.
h d f l
The best way to “find someone out” is to
know something about them or what they are
saying.
48. 10. PRACTICE BEING ASSERTIVE.
Mentally rehearse assertive behaviour.
Build your self esteem.
49. Sharpening the saw - “ We are always so
busy sawing (producing results) that we often
neglect to “sharpen our own saws” -
maintaining or increasing our capacity to
produce results.”
