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1. Conflict Management
BY: SOFT SKILLS WORLD

2. Genesis of Conflict
Opposition arising from disagreements due to undefined
objectives, thoughts, or emotions within or among
individuals, teams, departments or organizations.
 Where does it come from……….

3. Why does Conflict occur?

4. Where does Conflict come from?

5. Misconceptions about Conflict
• Harmony is “normal”
• Conflict is “abnormal”
• Conflicts and disagreements are the same
• Conflict is the result of “personality problems”
• Conflict and anger are the same

6. • Can we have a Win-Win situation always?
• Is Conflict Good or Bad?

7. How Conflict Benefits Positively
1. Expresses caring
2. Demonstrates trust
3. Issues get explored
4. Increases group cohesion
5. Produces growth
6. Enhances identity
7. Facilitates participation
8. Improves decision making
9. Demonstrates diversity
10. Increases commitment

8. We Learn to Deal Positively With Conflict as
We Grow
• The relationships and functions within a family
• Interaction with peers
• Accepting diversity
• Establishing peace and safety in community

9. Constructive Vs. Destructive Conflict
In constructive conflict In destructive conflict
– Growth occurs – Negativism results
– Problems are resolved – Resolutions diminish
– Groups are unified – Groups divide
– Productivity is enhanced – Productivity decreases
– Commitment is increased – Satisfaction is decreased

10. Conflict Cycle
Beliefs &
Attitudes
about
(reinforces)
Conflict
Consequence Conflict
Occurs
Response –
what we do when
conflict occurs

11. Assertiveness
‘Assertiveness is a communication technique designed
to demonstrate respect towards oneself and others and to
allow the expression of a full range of behavior.’
‘It is the ability to express oneself honestly without
denying the rights of others.’
Some other behavioral aspects of assertiveness
• Being direct.
• Listening to others
• Expressing positive feelings
• Limits of self - expression
• Maintaining respect for self and others

12. The Assertiveness Continuum
of Behavior
Passive Assertive Aggressive
Self-denying Self-enhancing Self-enhancing at
expense of others
Inhibited Expressive Over-expressive
Others choose Choose for self Choose for others
Uncertain, anxious, Confident, feels Depreciates others
depreciates self good about self
Does not achieve May achieve Achieves desired
desired goal(s) desired goal(s) goal(s) at expense
of others

13. The Conflict Management Model
HIGH HIGH
WIN-LOSE (Outcome) WIN-WIN (Outcome)
COMPETING (Behavior) INTEGRATING (Behavior)
A DOMINATING (Mindset) COLLABORATING
S (Mindset)
S LOSE-LOSE (Outcome)
E SHARING (Behavior)
R
T COMPROMISING
(Mindset)
I
V
E
CONFLICT STAYS (Outcome) LOSE-WIN (Outcome)
NEGLECTING (Behavior) APPEASING (Behavior)
AVOIDING (Mindset) ACCOMODATING (Mindset)
LOW LOW
COOPERATE

14. Reasons for the different styles
 Avoiding
- No Capacity / Power to resolve
- Fear of manifesting in to a bigger issue
- Deadlines are facing us / no time
- Smart / Trivial issue (Time is the best healer)

15. Reasons for the different styles
 Competing
- When expertise is with you only
- When you feel strongly that you are right
- No time – Deadline
- When an unpopular decision has
to be implemented

16. Competition
• Plus
– The winner is clear
– Winners usually experience gains
• Minus
– Establishes the battleground for the next conflict
– May cause worthy competitors to withdraw or leave the
organization

17. Reasons for the different styles
 Accommodating
- When the other party has the correct point
- I need to create a debt (Obligation)
- To repair a burnt bridge (Broken Relationship)

18. Accommodation
• Plus
– Curtails conflict situation
– Enhances ego of the other
• Minus
– Sometimes establishes a precedence
– Does not fully engage participants
18

19. Reasons for the different styles
 Compromising
- When all of the other styles fails

20. Compromise
• Plus
– Shows good will
– Establishes friendship
• Minus
– No one gets what they want
– May feel like a dead end
20

21. Reasons for the different styles
 Collaboration
- When the output is critically important to both (will be
committed whole heartedly)
- When enough time is available and conflict will impact
the long-term working together
- When u see an opportunity to explore
possibilities (Using Brainstorming)

22. Collaboration
• Plus
– Everyone “wins”
– Creates good feelings
• Minus
– Hard to achieve since no one knows how
– Often confusing since players can “win” something they
didn’t know they wanted
22

23. Tips for Managing Workplace Conflict
• Build good relationships before conflict occurs
• Do not let small problems escalate; deal with them as they arise
• Respect differences
• Listen to others’ perspectives on the conflict situation
• Acknowledge feelings before focussing on facts
• Focus on solving problems, not changing people
• If you can’t resolve the problem, turn to someone who can help
• Remember to adapt your style to the situation and persons involved
23

24. Tips for Managing Workplace Conflict

25. Your Conflict Management Style

26. Conflict Style
• Not only is it important to know what relationship or situation
is causing conflict in our life, but it is also important to look at
how we normally resolve conflict (our natural inclination).
• We must then decide whether we are satisfied with our
current approach or if we would like to change it in some way
to improve our effectiveness at conflict resolution.

27. One-to-one
Conflict

28. If you want to constructively resolve a
conflict with another person…
• FIRST, get into the right frame of mind for a positive discussion,
always remembering to treat the other person with respect
• SECOND, agree on the best time and place for both of you to
discuss the conflict with each other.
• THIRD, Set some ground rules.
• FOURTH, have a discussion.

29. Step 1:
Adopt the right frame of
mind

30. The Approach
When you are ready to approach
the other person remember to:
• Go in with the right attitude
• Send positive non-verbal signals
• Focus on the real issues
• Pay attention to communication style

31. Your Attitude
Leave Behind… Take With You…
• Your desire to win, punish, or • A willingness to work at this
control • An understanding that
• Your desire that everything be “perception is reality” both for
“fair” you and those around you.
• Your assumption that it won’t • A willingness to learn from the
work situation
• Your tendency to think in • A willingness to see and
“black and white”, “right or acknowledge your own
wrong” contribution to the problem.
• Your determination to be
right.

32. Be aware of your nonverbal
signals:
Others impression of you is based on:
• 7 % of the words used;
• 38% on voice quality; and
• 55% on nonverbal communication

33. Focus on underlying Issues
• What happened?
– Difference in expectations:
• What did I expect to happen?; What actually happened?
Who did what?
– Intention inventory (Who meant what?)
• Feelings
– Don’t ignore or fail to acknowledge
– Feelings make relationships enjoyable and difficult
conversations difficult (can’t have one without the other!)
• Identity
– Must face ourselves as well as other person
– Am I competent?; Am I a good person?; Am I worthy of love?

34. Communication Tips
 Avoid “you” statements
 Focus on behavior, not employee
 Focus on actions, not intent
 Be descriptive and specific (bring data)
 Practice active listening skills
 Ask open and closed questions to clarify points

35. Step 2:
Consider time factors

36. Be Timely:
talk to the other person while the issues are
still current
Anger and negative feelings
tend to fester if not dealt with quickly!!

37. Consider the other person’s time
needs
• Don’t interrupt the other person’s schedule
and state that you need to talk
• Agree on a time to meet with the other
person and inform him/her of the topic.
• Give him/her time to prepare mentally.

38. Step 3:
Set some ground rules!

39. 3 “Golden” Rules
1. Everyone tells it like they see it.
2. Get everything on the table.
3. Focus on the future.

40. Sample Rules for discussion
In addition to general rules, it is helpful to agree on how
you will talk with each other
• No interruptions
• No yelling
• Time limit on certain topics of discussion
• Words to avoid
• Agreement on what to do if you can’t agree ahead of
time

41. Step 4:
The Actual Discussion

42. The Actual Conversation
1. Define the conflict.
2. Communicate understanding.
3. Explore alternative solutions.
4. Agree on most workable solution.
5. Evaluate after time.

43. Define the Conflict
 Describe the problem in clear, concrete
terms. Be specific (use “I” not “you”)
 Focus on behaviors or problems, not people
 Talk about the impact on you
 Define the conflict as a problem to solve
together, not a battle to be won

44. 2. Communicate Understanding
 Listen to really understand the other person’s feelings,
needs, Reflect back.
– Explain how you see the problem after you have heard
them.
– Identify your contribution to the situation.
– Describe feelings (not judgments or accusations)
– Talk about identity issues.

45. 3. Explore alternative solutions
- Take turns offering alternative solutions. List
them all.
– Be nonjudgmental of other’s ideas.
– Examine the consequence of each solution.
– Think and talk positively.

46. 4. Agree on most workable solution
- Agree on a solution you both understand
and can live with.
– Be committed to resolving the conflict

47. 5. Evaluate after time
Get together after
some time and see
how the new arrangement
is
working for both parties

48. Tips in difficult Situations
• Pacing: one approximates the behavior of the other person to
subconsciously build rapport.
• “Mental Aikido”: mentally moving away from the focal point
of the adversary’s attack. Make a non-linear response to the
adversary’s words. “Sharks expect you to react.”
• “Patterned interruption”: involves varying your usual
response. “You have the capacity to interrupt the usual destructive
pattern by doing something completely different or unexpected.”

49. Resolving Group Conflict
Workforce Development Toolkit
Part VII

50. Meeting Conflict
1. If you sense a spoken or unspoken conflict in a meeting over an issue, address it.
“There seems to be some disagreement over this issue. Can we take a few minutes to clarify the
issue.
2. Clarify the conflict.
“O.K. so there seems to be some disagreement over…….”
3. Decide if there is time to deal with it today or if another meeting needs to be set up to give it full
attention.
“Since this seems to be quite an important issue and we don’t have much time today. Let’s agree to
meet again to discuss it further. Can we meet on….”
4. If another meeting is necessary, assign responsibility for gathering more information on the subject
to staff.
“Sue, can you please research information on…. And Diane can you please check on that State
mandate.”
5. Insist employees let it go until the next meeting.
“We have a lot of other issues to discuss today so let’s free our minds of this issue until the set
meeting and move on.”

51. Group Resolution
1. Restate the issue to ensure clarity.
2. Have each group member, share information gathered and give his/her
opinion.
3. Make sure everything is put on the table (no unresolved feelings popping up
later)
4. Brainstorm alternatives
5. Agree on best solution using team decision-making steps (see reference list at
end)
6. Develop action steps.
7. Agree on follow-up session.

52. Supervisor’s role in resolving
conflict
Conflict Management Toolkit
Part IV

53. Your Role as a Supervisor
Involves:
• Looking for ways to reduce and prevent conflict in
your work area
• Handling conflict as a third party
• Handling grievances as they come to you

54. You can reduce conflict by:
• Being a good leader
• Being aware of your management style
• Training yourself and your staff on conflict resolution
• Looking out for signs

55. Be a Good Leader
• Set a good example
• Communicate clear standards
• Set ground rules
• Provide clear rationale for decisions
• Ensure employees have resources and training to do their jobs
• Get to know your employees

56. Be a Good Leader
• Conduct performance counseling
• Assist employees who have performance problems
• Address misconduct promptly
• Get advice from HR when you have questions or concerns prior to
the need to pursue disciplinary actions
• Treat employees fairly and equitably, applying rules consistently

57. Be aware of your own behavior
1. Allowing aggressive or inappropriate conduct without taking action
can foster a hostile or intimidating work environment.
2. Decision-making without employee input or participation can lead to
frustrated employees who don’t feel valued as anything but “worker
bees.”
3. Your staff looks to you to assist in resolving conflicts. You are better
equipped to resolve conflicts if both you and your staff have had
conflict resolution training.
4. If you are inconsistent or unpredictable, your employees will be
unsure of your expectations and become frustrated.
5. Engaging in relationships with your employees that are personal or
too informal may lead to misunderstandings, as well as other
employees feeling alienated.

58. Lookout for Signs of discontentment
• A usually outgoing, communicative employee becomes withdrawn and
quiet.
• An employee frequently comes in late for work.
• An employee is more argumentative and erratic than usual.
• An employee suddenly takes no interest in maintaining his or her
personal appearance or hygiene.
• An employee makes comments about violent means of dealing with, or
coping with, a particular situation.
• An employee talks about “having nothing to lose” or not caring about
anything anymore.

59. Handling conflict as a third party

60. Handling Employee Conflicts
• Situation 1: An employee complains to you about another
employee
• Situation 2 You observe a conflict situation
• Situation 3: An employee would like to file a formal
grievance

61. If an employee comes to you with a
possible grievance:
• Take the complaint seriously
• Set a professional tone for the interview– put the complainant at ease
• Provide assurance of confidentiality & non-retaliation
• Ask for– but do not require- a written statement.
• Gather facts, do not make judgments.
• Listen and get answers to: “who, what, when, where, why, how.”
• Communicate your concern and describe the available options.

62. Handling a formal complaint cont…
• Ask how the complainant would like to proceed.
• Tell the complainant that prompt action will be taken.
• Ask about the person (s) need for immediate assistance.
• Refer them to UMW’s grievance policy
• Set a time for a follow-up meeting and/or refer the person to the
HR office
• Document and contact HR.